34
The next morning, we get room service as though we’re fucking royalty and then rush around getting ready.
I am, somehow, ready before Miles and am now simply admiring myself in the mirror. My pick for today is a vintage slip dress I found buried in a charity shop a few years ago. It’s a delicate pink with soft lace details and it makes me feel like a French mistress.
Honestly, I'm taking a risk in this dress. It's stunning, of course. I do have fantastic style. The problem is that style, in general, seems to have been made solely for women with small chests, and at nearly 6 feet tall you'd assume I was flat-chested–I'm not.
No, I have been blessed with absurdly large breasts for my stature in all honesty. My mum claims they came from my dad's side of the family, along with the obscure height difference between me and many of the other women in my family. Honestly, I couldn't give a fuck where they came from, I just wish they'd fuck off.
I'm sick of buying cute little dresses and tops, only to find out that they won't stretch over my chest or that I look like a square in them.
I'm wearing one of those secret bodysuits under this slinky number. Mostly so when I turn around too fast I don't smack someone in the face with one of my wompers–but, also because it smooths the lines of my curves in a delicious way.
And I know it's delicious when I see the way Miles's eyes rake over me when he steps into the bedroom.
“You look so beautiful,” he says, coming to me and pressing his lips to mine.
I pull back, conscious that if I get too lost in the kiss, we actually won’t go to the wedding at all.
“This is a very pretty dress,” I say.
He grins, “It is,” he mutters, running his fingers up the silk over my waist, “Can’t wait to see it on the floor later,” he adds with a smirk.
I snort, “Firstly, that’s a terrible line and I’m actually disappointed in you for using it,” I say, “Secondly, and more importantly, this dress is going nowhere near the floor. It has its own cushioned hanger and dress bag,”
Miles laughs, “Of course it does,” he says, pecking my lips again then taking my hand and leading me out of the room.
*
It turns out that when you’re not a bridesmaid and in charge of doing everything the bride asks, weddings mean a lot of standing around. And in the time I have been standing around, I have spent a lot of time with Miles’s family and friends. Some of them, like Carrie and his mother, are dreams. So sweet, and so happy that they think Miles has somehow found the one.
Others, like pretty much everyone else, fucking suck.
His father seems to be on a mission to ensure I know how much he likes Adriana and Adriana’s family. His brothers seem to want me to think that Miles sucks for not working for the family business, and all of their family friends keep asking me intrusive questions about my earning potential in the podcast industry.
I had always heard it was uncouth to talk about money but these fuckers never shut up about it. So much for the middle class’s tight lips.
We’ve just finished a glorious dessert and I am heading into a cubicle in the loo when I hear someone groan.
“Is everything okay?” I ask the locked cubicle door.
“Fuck, is that Del?” the voice answers.
“Uh, yeah,” I say.
“Oh my God, it’s Jas,” she says, opening the door, “I can’t do my dress up,”
She is standing half in and half out of her dress and revealing a very lacy corset under it.
I laugh, “Turn around,” I say, helping her get the zip up and smoothing the dress out. “This dress is truly a masterpiece,” I add, admiring the slinky, lacy gown that hugs her incredible figure.
“Thanks,” she says, “I guess I didn’t think about doing it up,” She steps out of the toilet cubicle and admires the dress in the mirror herself, “It took fucking months to fit into it too,”
“Well, it was worth it,” I say, biting my tongue from going on a rant about how much I hate the wedding industry for making us all think we need to lose weight.
Jas grins in the mirror, “Thanks, Del,” she says, turning to me, “I’m really glad you’re here,”
“Me too,” I say with a grin.
I head into the toilet as Jas starts talking about going on double dates with Miles and me, and I have to bite my tongue again, considering how much I think Miles would actually hate that. Then I grin to myself like an idiot at the prospect that maybe, after the fake dating is over, Miles and I might actually date…
Jas falls quiet as I hear the door open. I finish up and let myself out of the cubicle to find Jas giving Adriana an appraising look. Adriana is pretending to ignore her and reapplying lipstick in the mirror.
Jas catches my eye in the mirror and I want to make a comment about the cliche of us all being in the loo at the same time when Adriana beats me to it.
“Oh, all of Miles’s girls in one room,” she says, eying me in the mirror.
I want to point out that neither of them is Miles’s girl, I am. But then I remember that, at present, the only thing I definitely am is Miles’s fake girl.
Jas snorts, “I just married his cousin, honey,” she says in the sweetest voice. Something about it chills me to the core.
“You still dated him, Jasmin,” Adriana says, then she turns to me, “Maybe there will be a fourth girl at the next wedding,” she says, smirking and then turning on her heel and leaving.
My mouth drops open as Jas stares after her. “You know,” she says, “My entire life, all her horrible friends have called me a bitch, but she’s the bitchiest of the lot,”
I shake my head, “I just don’t know what I personally did to her,” I say, wondering whether Adriana is just mad at me because she won’t admit she is the one who messed up. It’s not my fault that she decided to leave Miles behind, is it?
Jas shakes her head, “She’s just pissed off because Miles looks so fucking happy with you and she passed on it,” she says, “It’s her own fault,”
I nod, because, well yes.
“I honestly don’t know why she came to this,” Jas says, leaning against the counter again, “She and her friends were awful to me in school,”
“Really?” I ask, thinking that I had Jas pegged as one of the popular mean girls too .
“Yeah,” she says, “They used to call me all sorts of names, like ‘council estate trash,’ and ‘baby gold digger,’ all because my mum is thirty years younger than my dad,”
I raise an eyebrow and she continues.
“She was his secretary, my mum, I mean. And he was definitely married when they started seeing each other. But, I swear to you, I never saw two people as in love as them, and she went to a really dark place when he died. I get what she did was wrong, but that’s not really a reason to take it out on me,”
I shake my head, “They suck,”
She nods, “Anyway, they’re all acting like I’m just my mum again for marrying Julian because he has money, but I can’t really do anything about it,” she sighs.
I frown, wondering if that’s what Miles thinks too. He’s never really said, just said he would have expected it of them. Maybe he does think that. Now I’m pissed at him.
“I think people should spend less time worrying about who other people are marrying and focus on themselves,” I mutter.
Jas snorts, “You wanna tell that to the witches out there,” she says, “They all think they’re better because they’re old money, but I would never make rude comments to a woman I barely know, so who is the real villain here?”
I laugh, “Well, today has been gorgeous. They could never, ”
She smiles, “Thanks, Del,” she says, “I really hope Miles doesn’t mess this up with you. It would be nice to have a cousin-in-law as cool as you,”
I snort, “I mean, let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” I say, following her out of the bathroom but getting a little lost in the idea anyway.
*
By the time they dim the lights and start the evening part of the wedding, I am once again caught up in the spell that is Miles. He’s so attentive. He keeps making sure I’ve got a drink, checking in on me, and introducing me to people as his girlfriend in a way that feels way more real than it should. I don’t know, maybe it’s closer to reality now. I’m trying not to examine it too closely.
There is every chance that he’s going to leave me tomorrow and never speak to me again. I would understand it, on a logical level, if he did. On an emotional one, I don’t know. I doubt I’d cope. Might not be mentally well for a while after. Because he’s unlocked something in me. Something I probably hadn’t even realised I was missing, and he unlocked it well before the mind-blowing sex.
Not a single person in my life, except maybe Emme, has ever made me feel like I’m okay exactly as I am. But Miles does. The way he shuts me down anytime I even suggest I am somehow not good enough, the way he knows me so well, even in the short while we’ve known each other. The way he has never once called me quirky or weird, or any other fucking word you can think of that makes sure you know you’re different to what you’re supposed to be, even if you’ve spent your life trying to be normal, trying to fit in, and it never working.
People always say different is good, but I can tell you it’s not. Or it hasn’t been in my life. But Miles doesn’t make me feel different. He makes me feel like I’m exactly who I’m supposed to be. And it fits with him. I fit with him. And I’m not sure I’ve ever actually fit before.
I couldn’t hold down the perfect relationship with my high school sweetheart. I couldn’t have the perfect wedding and marry my best friend’s husband’s best friend. We will never have kids who grow up as best friends, and I will never be what my mum wanted me to be. But with Miles, I think there’s a chance I could be really happy. Like truly happy. Comfortable in my own skin.
Jas has hold of me at present and is making me dance with her to a Britney Spears song because apparently, Julian refuses to. And, I’m pretty sure she heard one of the mean girls Adriana hangs out with telling me I was ‘so brave’ to be here. I don’t have a fucking clue what she meant but it sure felt threatening.
I know people probably think it’s mental that me and Jas are dancing together. I mean, the whole reason I am here is that Miles didn’t want people to think he missed her in any way, and yet she is the one saving me from the horrible girls who seem to have it out for me for simply existing. I’m sure they’d love to know that Miles and I were faking until about 72 hours ago. In fact, I’d say Adriana’s presence here had a huge part to play in us actually hooking up…
It feels like some kind of cosmic joke that the girl I was terrified of is the one I’m seeking comfort in, and the one I didn’t know existed is making me feel terrible. I’m really trying not to feel like some kind of third wheel to Adriana and Miles, and I don’t when he’s with me. But then he leaves me and I suddenly see someone send me a pitying glance and I’m sure I’m imagining it but the doubt sets in anyway.
I’m in awe of my ability to coast through a wedding with my ex and the girl he cheated on me with a few weeks ago, but I am struggling to deal with Miles’s ex. I hardly know the guy for Christ’s sake.
But all those fucking horrible feelings I have suddenly disappear when I feel a hand on my waist. Jas is currently being dragged into a slow dance with Julian’s dad and I turn to find Miles grinning at me when the music slows.
An Ed Sheeran song transitions to the speakers and Miles grabs me in a dancing stance like they do on Strictly.
“May I have this dance, Delaney?” he asks.
“Oh fine, I guess you asked nicely,”
He grins and leans down to press his lips to mine. I sink into the kiss for a moment, getting completely lost, and feeling sorely disappointed when he pulls back.
“I could get used to that,” I mutter, without thinking. The crazy woman in my head screeches, telling me that I’ve gone and done it. Miles is going to run screaming out of this grand hall and tell me not to contact him again, that this whole thing is fake, he’s just a really good actor.
“Me too,” he says with a smile and then twirls me under his arm.
And I am calm.
The crazy woman looks a little embarrassed and drops down into a seat next to the crazy drunk lady who has also managed to keep her mouth shut this evening. He pulls me back against him and we sway slowly. “So, you and Jas striking up a friendship wasn’t on my Bingo card for this wedding,”
I snort, pulling back to look at him, “She’s actually really sweet,” I say, thinking of how she stuck up for me with Adriana. He raises an eyebrow and I continue, “We talked about how people perceive her to be a bit of a bitch, but I don’t know, she seems really sweet. Really real,”
Miles nods, “I know what you mean,” he says, “People have always been pretty shit to her about her mum,”
“She told me about how her parents met,”
He nods again, “Yeah, in school people really did bully her. When we dated, she used to get really caught up in the idea that people thought she was a gold-digger, like they thought her mum was,”
“I think she feels that with Julian too,” I mutter, not wanting to point out that he, too, made comments that made it seem like Jas was only marrying Julian for the family money.
Miles considers this for a moment and sighs, “I’ll admit I thought that,” he says, “Mostly because she and Julian never really spoke when I knew her. And then, out of the blue, they’re dating. I don’t know, it’s probably incredibly arrogant of me to have assumed that since she couldn’t have me, she went for my previously quiet and shy cousin,”
“Probably,” I say with a grin, thinking that it could look exactly like that. Julian isn’t an unattractive guy, but he didn’t get the incredible genes that Miles and his brothers got. Maybe it’s the combination of Art and Jen that made three such attractive men, or maybe it’s just dumb luck. Whatever it is, I can see Julian being quieter, and less confident than his cousins. Probably less popular in school, and obviously an easier target.
Miles grins at me, “Anyway, I have been humbled,” he says, looking over his shoulder at Jas and Julian slow dancing now, “They’re so in love, looking at them hurts. I hadn’t really spent time around them since they got together, but it’s obviously very real for both of them,”
“It’s like gooey, romance novel levels of love,”
He nods, turning back to me and smiling down, “ Imagine having that,” he mutters, pressing his forehead to mine.
I smile, “They’re very lucky,”