34
Layla
The day after Thanksgiving, I contacted the owner of the cabin, and they were able to rent it out to me for ten more days. Not quite the two weeks we wanted, but I took it.
Those days have flown by. I only have a few days left now, but Liam and I have been making the most of it. We filled our time with dinners, movies, gym dates, and more ice skating with Jackson. We’ve almost fallen into a routine. Sometimes, he’ll simply sit with me and read. To my surprise, he tried one of my fantasy romance books, and he already finished it and loved it. He had some critiques for the male lead, though. Liam couldn’t understand why anyone would fall for a guy who pushed the heroine face down in the mud when they first met. I tried to explain, but he just laughed and shook his head at me.
Now, I’m sitting in my spot at Liam’s kitchen island while he makes us some paninis for lunch. He really does have a passion for cooking. And for taking care of people in general. I love that about him. He’s one of the most selfless people I’ve ever met, and I don’t even know if he realizes it.
“I wonder where we would have been now if we had found one another years ago…” I ponder out loud.
Liam turns and looks at me, pensive. Then he shrugs. “Who knows. No sense dwelling on a past we can’t change. We’re here now.”
“I really would have loved to meet her,” I say with sorrow. “Lace…”
Liam has shown me hundreds of pictures in the last few weeks. Seeing a young Jackson with his parents brought me to tears more than once. He looked a lot like his mom with his sandy brown hair and brown eyes.
“I know,” he says, looking melancholy. “Me too. And the same with your parents. Your dad and I would have gotten along great. And your mom, I think.”
I nod in agreement.
Suddenly, my phone rings. It’s a Sacramento number that I don’t recognize, so I ignore it. But when I get a voicemail alert my curiosity kicks in. Liam is busy cooking at the stove with his back turned to me, so I hit play and listen.
I hold the phone to my ear, listening, my brows furrowing with curiosity. It’s the newspaper—the one I applied to for that editing job I’d almost forgotten about for most of this trip. They don’t say many details in the voicemail, but they want to offer me the job. I stare into space after it ends, completely at a loss for what to do.
Liam clears his throat, snapping me out of it. He’s turned around, watching me with concern.
“What was that?” he asks.
“Um…” I pause too long, not knowing how to vocalize what I’m feeling. I need more time to process. “You might remember how I told you a while back that I applied for an editing job in Sacramento? I thought it was my dream job…”
I don’t finish, but he puts the pieces together on his own. I can’t read his expression.
“They offered you the job,” he says, flatly. For a moment, I think I catch a flash of disappointment on his face.
“Yeah.”
“Congrats,” he says, trying to muster a smile, but I see disappointment lurking in his eyes.
“Yeah,” I murmur, staring down at my hands. “Thanks.”
After a prolonged silence, I look back up at him. He’s still watching me, arms crossed as he leans against the counter.
“What am I to you, Layla?” he asks.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, what am I? What is all this to you? Is it real to you? Because it’s very real to me. I…”
I look at him, waiting for him to finish, but he looks flustered and stops.
“You what?” I question so softly I wonder if he even hears me.
Suddenly, he’s on the move, and then he’s sitting on the stool in front of me, his eyes filled with desperation. “I don’t want to lose you. I want to see where this goes. If you needed to go back home for a bit while we figured out the logistics of this whole thing, that would have sucked, but I would have understood. But if you take a brand-new job in the city, that feels very permanent. Like there’s no hope for this working out,” he finishes, hurt and fear glimmering in his eyes.
He's right. Taking the job would mean I’m not planning on leaving Sacramento anytime soon. How long could I really expect him to do long distance? We haven’t even talked about that being an option, though it seems like the only one now. I can’t ask him to leave this incredible place that he loves—that I love—or uproot Jackson’s life. He’s already been through too much in his six years.
Suddenly, it all feels like too much, and I feel tears start to form. Liam pulls me into his arms, his hand gently stroking my hair.
“I’m proud of you,” he whispers in my ear. “If it’s truly your dream job, you should take it.”
My heart cracks at the sadness in his voice. Even though this is hurting him, he still wants me to do what’s best for myself. I’m not sure I deserve him at this point. His patience and understanding is beyond comparison.
“I just don’t know what to do.” I admit. “You’re incredible, and Jackson is incredible, and you guys make me feel so welcome, like I belong. But what if none of this is sustainable? Are we holding onto some idealized version of each other because of our past? Or did we fall under a holiday magic spell that will burst as soon as I leave and return to reality?”
“Why can’t this be our reality? Right here. This is as real as anything, isn’t it?” he pleads.
“I can’t just uproot my whole life over a holiday fling.” The words spill out before I can stop them, and I see the hurt flash across his face. He pulls back slightly, brows furrowing.
“A holiday fling?” he repeats, his voice thick with hurt. “Is that what this is to you?”
Immediate regret fills me. I grab his hands, my heart twisting.
“Liam, I didn’t mean that. I’m freaking out and I don’t know what to do and those thoughts just spilled out of me. Of course you’re more to me than that. What are we supposed to do?”
He closes his eyes, shaking his head. Then he opens them and looks at me with those hazel eyes that make me feel weak. There’s a clarity in them now that almost scares me.
“I know this is a lot harder for you, and I’m sorry for that,” he says gently. “If it weren’t for Jackson and his entire support system nearby, I’d leave this place we love tomorrow and follow you anywhere. But I think you know that I can’t do that. So you’re the one who has to make all the big changes, and it’s not fair. All I have to do is sit here and ask you to stay, while you’d have to change your whole life if we want to make this work. I can be patient while you figure it out. But just know, I do want to figure it out. With you.
“You want me to stay?” I ask, tears welling in my eyes.
He nods, his voice quiet but steady. “This past month has been the best of my life. I’d go back and wait ten years for you all over again if I had to. So, yeah, I want you to stay. But if you feel like you need more time, then I’ll be patient. Go home, take that job if you want to, but don’t think I’m going to go a single day without talking to you. I’ll be here waiting for you. Again.”