35
Layla
When I was younger, I dreamed that I would come back and run into Liam again. He’d sweep me off my feet and we’d live happily ever after, like some perfect fairytale. Life rarely works out the way you dream it will, though. In the last ten years, there have been surprises and things didn’t always go perfectly or as planned. Still, finding him now, after everything, feels more perfect than I ever could have imagined.
I’m slowly starting to clean up at the cabin and gather my things for my looming departure. I’m conflicted, and the doubts are creeping in. Why am I at war with the practical side of myself that says this needs more time? I think the more realistic side of me needs to know that this isn’t all merely part of the allure of being here, that I’m not just wrapped up in the magic of this place, and this isn’t simply some whirlwind vacation romance. And the only way to know for sure is to leave.
I think.
I just don’t think Liam agrees with me, and I’m terrified of that. I’m terrified of losing him, and I’m terrified of breaking Jackson’s heart. He’s grown so attached, and he’s been through enough loss in his young life already. We’ll be open with Jackson, tell him that we’re still talking every day, but that I have to go home for a while. I wish there were some perfect solution, but I can’t stay here on vacation forever.
It’s in difficult times like these that I really miss Mom and Dad. I think back to all the stories Dad used to tell about how he and Mom met here. They were both on vacation one summer and fell in love within weeks. And while falling in love with each other, they also fell in love with this place. They passed that tradition on to me.
I miss them so much right now, and I wish they were here to tell me what to do in this moment. But they’re not here, and I have to make the decision for myself. I really hope it’s the right one.
I do know that without a doubt, they would have loved Liam. Both of them. I’m almost positive that Mom would tell me I’m being an absolute fool right now, even though she didn’t usually interject too much. I never talked too much about Liam with them after we left that year that I met him. I don’t know why. It's something I kept buried inside.
She did ask me about him once, a few months after Grandma’s stroke. It was a random day, and it was like the thought dawned on her out of nowhere. We were in my room catching up when she asked me what happened with the boy I had a date with back in Lake Tahoe over spring break. My stomach knotted up when she brought him up out of the blue. I simply shrugged and explained to her how I never got his number. She was bummed for me, even though I didn’t think I showed too much disappointment. Looking back now, I’m sure as my mother she could sense my emotions more than I knew. I remember her patting my knee and reassuring me that I’d probably run into him again the next time.