38. Chapter 38
LONDYN
I LOVE WATCHING SEAN MOVE around in the kitchen.
Maybe it's how confidently he flips pancakes. Or the way morning light gives a gentle glow to his skin. Or it could just be the fact that he's shirtless. I love watching the planes of his back flex and ripple, and his gray sweatpants are riding low enough to make my mouth go dry.
I curl deeper into the hotel couch, cradling a mug of green tea.
As I take a sip, I'm wondering how this became my life.
Not staying at a hotel, just this wonderful feeling that's a constant hum beneath every heartbeat.
Only a few months ago, I was pure anxiety trapped in a body, consumed in buried-alive panic, yet now I'm calm and enjoying a peaceful morning.
Having a hot bodyguard with me certainly helps.
It's been five days since the kidnapping. I've been sleeping a lot and healing and waking up to Sean's arms around me. Mike has been staying at my apartment building, monitoring the security feeds for any signs of The Director or the men in baseball caps. No signs yet.
I took medical leave from work since I don't yet know if or when I'll return.
After what happened with Josh I'm not sure I can ever go back.
The thought of sitting in that office, at that desk, wondering if one of my other coworkers is plotting to help The Director kidnap me…
yeah, I think that job is done unless I can work at home permanently.
But figuring that out is next week's problem.
Today, my head feels better finally and I just want to focus on the present.
The bruises The Director left have faded to a sickly yellow-green, and the pain has dulled to a background hum I can almost ignore.
I know we can't live in this blissful bubble forever since a walking nightmare is still out there, but I can at least have a few days of feeling safe in this hotel while a handsome man dotes on me.
Sean glances over his shoulder, catching me staring. That half-smirk appears—the one that makes my insides feel like they're melting.
"How do you like your eggs?" he asks.
I hide my blush behind my mug. "Umm, cooked?"
"How cooked?"
"Very."
His laugh is low and warm as he turns back to the small burner on the kitchenette counter, flipping another pancake with that calm elegance.
While I've been trying not to think too much about The Director and his 'colleague'—neither of them deserve a moment of my time—Sean and Mike have been digging.
They reported everything to the police, yet there's no evidence Alan was involved; the security footage from my work only shows Josh leading me out.
And the SUV was a rental under Josh's name.
There's a warrant out for his arrest and my boss called to tell me he's been fired.
I mean, that's great, but he hasn't been arrested yet because they can't find him.
I wish we knew where The Director was so I could at least go back to my apartment and gather some things.
The smell of chocolate and butter drifts through the air as Sean plates the pancakes. He's humming something under his breath that makes me smile. I've discovered that Sean is actually a good cook, at least where breakfast is concerned. The man can work magic with eggs and pancake batter.
"Ready?" he asks, carrying two plates to the coffee table.
My stomach growls in response and I grin. "Definitely."
He sets the plates down, which are filled with chocolate chip pancakes drizzled with fruity syrup. There are also eggs cooked just as I requested. Breakfast is such a small thing, but it's also everything. It's filled with love and care and no expectations except just eating together.
Sean settles beside me on the couch. I shift so our thighs touch, because I always seem to need some part of us touching. He stabs a piece of pancake with his fork and lifts it to my mouth first. A taste test.
"Tell me if I got it right," he says.
The pancake melts on my tongue. It's sweet, buttery, and with bursts of chocolate that make me close my eyes. "Mmm. You always do."
"Good," he says, leaning in to kiss my cheek before digging into his own breakfast.
Breakfast is mostly just us eating in silence. The clink of forks against plates. The soft sounds of chewing. The low, distant hum of a city outside. The world feels so perfect.
And yet… I know our little bubble won't last forever.
His phone buzzes for the fifth time in ten minutes, rattling against the coffee table. Sean has been ignoring it, but he finally groans and glances at the device.
"Hold on," he mutters. "Someone's blowing up my phone."
I don't mean to look. I'm not trying to invade his privacy.
But he's right next to me, the screen is in plain view, and curiosity is a powerful thing.
I'm desperate to uncover everything about him, from his past and family to the experiences that shaped him.
I'm eager for all those hidden pieces I've yet to discover.
The screen illuminates with a chat entirely in Korean, just lines and lines of character blocks that mean nothing to me. Sean scans them with ease. His thumbs tap out a response, the characters appearing like magic.
He closes that chat and opens another, and I catch a glimpse of an English name, Sienna, followed by messages I can't read before Sean shifts his position.
Sienna. A woman's name. It feels silly for me to have any spark of jealousy or worry at this point since he's completely confessed his feelings and he's not a liar.
So I try to rationalize it—could be a cousin, a colleague, a friend.
But the stupid insecurity creeps in anyway, wrapping its claws around my heart.
I focus on my pancakes, cutting them into smaller and smaller bites, suddenly not very hungry.
There are so many things I don't know about the man I love.
So many parts of his life that existed before me and continue to exist outside of me.
It's normal. Healthy, even. But the fear lingers.
What if there's someone else? Like he's one of those guys who is now BFFs with an ex.
I'm not sure I'm comfortable with BFF exes.
Before I start to really remember how difficult dating and relationships are, Sean's arm slides around my shoulders, pulling me close. He smells like maple syrup and sleep and something uniquely him that I've come to crave.
"Thank you," he says, pressing a kiss to my forehead.
"For what?"
"For waiting and looking so beautiful while doing it."
I blush but a question is burning through me and I'm unable to stop it. "Is Sienna your ex?"
A laugh explodes out of him, and then he gasps, "What?" before dissolving into more laughter. He laughs so long and hard that he holds his sides, tears spilling down his cheeks.
His laugh is contagious, so I smile and start to feel silly. "I guess not?"
"No. Wow. Definitely not." His laughter lightens as he starts to compose himself.
He wipes his eyes. "Shit. That was funny.
Sienna is not an ex and she's never been anything close to—" He laughs.
"No, no. God, please tell that to her husband when you see him.
He won't find it funny, but the look on his face will make me have a great day. "
Meet Sienna's husband? It feels great that Sean wants me to meet the people in his life. "Sure," I say through a grin. "I'll do that."
He holds his phone out where I can see it clearly, then opens his contacts list and scrolls until he reaches 'S'.
Sienna Conte. He shows me their text thread, which is mostly Sienna saying, "Hi!
How's it going?" and Sean not giving many details before asking how she is.
He pulls up a picture of a couple: a woman with vibrant red hair nestled against a man with deeply blue eyes. They're on some kind of beach.
"Declan and Sienna," Sean says. "Good friends of mine. Though they worry, especially Sienna, so she checks in a lot. I'm thankful for them, but they get nosy about what I'm up to."
The tension in my shoulders releases slowly, like air from a balloon.
"Declan used to be my boss," he adds. "Sienna's his wife. They travel a lot, but they come back to San Francisco every few months. They're good people."
His phone buzzes with another message in Korean. Sean sighs and pulls it up. "She's on a rampage today."
"Who?"
"My mom. She's blowing up my phone with family gossip.
" He scrolls to show me more of the conversation, though I can't read any of it.
"Apparently, my cousin Jae-sung got engaged to a woman he only met three months ago at a club.
Mom says it's scandalizing the family name because it's too fast and you don't find wives in a club. "
I bite back a smile. "No one in a club is marriage material?"
"According to her, no. The only place you should ever meet your spouse is at work, or through family and friends. Everything else is a scandal."
I giggle. "Well, she sounds adorable."
He pulls up a picture of another smiling couple. The woman is petite with laughing eyes and the same warmth as Sean. The man beside her is tall and broad-shouldered, with a confidence that seems oddly familiar now.
"Your parents?" I ask, leaning in for a better look.
"Yeah. They live in Seoul now. Dad retired from the U.S. military but Mom wanted to go back home, so…" He shrugs. "You can see I get my height from my Dad's side." His gaze shifts to me. "What about your family?"
The question sends a small pang through my chest. Not painful exactly, just hollow. "Oh, not much to tell. I don't have a big family. Maybe a few cousins out there somewhere, but we're not close."
Sean waits, giving me space to continue or not. That's something I've noticed about him. He never pushes when I need time.
"I didn't know my dad very well. He left when I was young.
" I trace circles on my thigh, remembering a man who existed mostly in the sound of slamming doors.
"And Mom… when I moved to Hollywood, she made it clear she didn't approve.
She thought acting was a waste of time." I shrug, but my shoulders barely move under the weight of parents that are alive but just not there.
"We used to chat maybe once a year on my birthday.
Christmas, if I remembered to call. We're mostly strangers. "
Sean's hand covers mine. "That must be tough. Going through everything without family to fall back on."
I squeeze his hand, grateful for how he sees the spaces between my words, the unspoken histories tucked into pauses and shrugs. "I've managed."
"Well, I have a big family. Honestly, my mom was distant when I was younger, so I grew up pretty much alone. As I've gotten older, though, maybe she's had some regrets because she's trying to be more involved. She invites me home a lot more. I think she's going to absolutely obsess over you."
The comment is casual, but the assumption of a future where I meet his family makes me ache for it.
His phone buzzes again with another message from his mom. Sean responds quickly.
I notice that his mother ends several of her messages with the same characters, so I point to them on his screen. "What does that say? She uses it a lot."
Sean's cheeks color slightly, and he clears his throat. "You don't want to know."
"Now I definitely want to know," I laugh, poking his arm. "Come on. What is it?"
He sighs dramatically, but I can tell he's not truly annoyed. "Kkul-tteok," he says, the syllables rolling off his tongue in a way that makes me want to hear him speak Korean more often.
"And what does that mean in English?"
He shakes his head and tries to shift away.
I wrap my arms around him, not letting him move. "Come on."
He finally caves and his ears turn an adorable shade of red. "Honey rice cake. She's always calling me ridiculous names."
"Aww. That's actually really sweet."
"It's embarrassing as hell is what it is," he grumbles.
"Will you teach me some Korean?"
Sean takes my hand, lifting it to his lips. His eyes hold mine as he presses a kiss to my palm. "Sure." He says a long string of Korean words that I can't even begin to replicate.
The sounds wash over me, beautiful but completely foreign. I blink at him. "Uh, what?"
He repeats it, slower this time, enunciating each syllable.
I attempt to echo him, tripping over the unfamiliar sounds. "Gasham… jodige dangmin-out nome… salangham—" I stop as Sean bursts into laughter. "What? That was my first try!"
"You butchered that so hard."
"Oh, come on. My mouth doesn't wrap around those sounds. What does it mean, anyway?"
His smile turns mischievous. "Look it up."
I grab his phone and navigate to a translation site, trying my best to repeat what he said. The result appears on screen, and my breath catches in my throat.
I love you so much it makes my heart ache.
The words land in the center of my chest, sending ripples through every part of me. I look up at Sean, finding his eyes serious despite his playful smile.
"Do you understand now?"
I lean in to kiss him. His hand comes up to cradle my face, and I feel myself melting into the shape of his body again, everything smoothing away under his touch.
The kiss deepens and Sean's arm slides around my waist to pull me closer. My hands find their way to his bare chest, fingers spreading across warm skin. When he makes that low sound in the back of his throat—the one that tells me he's losing control—heat sparks between my thighs.
He pulls back to observe my wild gaze and flushed skin. "You've got that look."
"Mmm, what look?"
"Like you want to tie me in a chair again."
"Maybe we'll get supplies for that later."
His fingers thread through my hair with urgency and he pulls me closer until the rest of the world no longer exists. Only this moment exists. This suite. My body and Sean's body. And I'm craving something more than what we've done up to this point.