Chapter 11
CHAPTER ELEVEN
EVE
H e’s still mad at me. I see the battle in his eyes every time he looks at me. Part of him wants me, and the other part wants to punish me. I get it. My parents aren’t here, and I’m the easy target. I’m the one who left. It doesn’t matter if it wasn’t by choice…I still left. Truthfully, I would gladly welcome any sort of punishment if it means this guilt will go away. It’s like a chain around my heart, and I need him to yell at me or do anything that will allow him to get all his anger out. We aren’t going to be able to move past it if we don’t acknowledge it in the first place.
I caught a glimpse of it in the shower last night. I shouldn’t have gone in there, but I woke up when I heard the shower turn on, and when I saw the door cracked, the temptation was too much. Once I saw him stroking himself and his beautiful body on display, I couldn’t move. My eyes hadn’t seen him like this for three years, and I hungrily took in every inch of him. When I heard him softly moan my name, nothing could have stopped me from going to him. Like a moth to a flame, I would gladly risk it all for one touch.
I felt his anger brimming under the surface, but I knew he would never really hurt me. I’ll proudly wear the bruises on my thighs as a reminder of how badly we both wanted each other in that moment. I’ll wear a thousand more if it means breaking through those walls and getting back what we lost.
He walks back in and avoids my eyes, heading straight to the coffee pot. I don’t bother handing him the creamer because he likes his coffee black. I watch him sit down next to Ryland as he grabs a muffin and some strawberries, eating her favorite breakfast with her.
I leave them to have this time alone and go to the bathroom to get ready. I find a white tank top and some cutoff shorts to throw on. I’m really going to have to get some more clothes. I wasn’t lying to Ryder when I said I didn’t have a lot. I didn’t want to leave behind all of Ryland’s baby memories, so that didn’t leave much room for me in the suitcase. I wanted to bring as much to Ryder as I could so he could feel like he was there. I plan on showing him once the timing is right.
I run a brush through my hair and apply some mascara and lipgloss. I’ve never worn a whole lot of makeup, and I wear even less now that I have Ryand. I’m lucky if I get a shower in on most days, let alone put makeup on.
When I walk back out, Ryder has Ryland out of her booster and all cleaned up.
“I have to run an errand later, but I thought we could swim for a bit before she takes her nap. No one is working today, so they’re all headed to the pool.”
“That sounds like fun. Ryland will love that. I’ll get her suit.” I walk over to the dresser by her bed and find one that Ryder got her. I want to ask him what his errand is, but I stop myself. If he wanted me to know, he would tell me. I quickly change Ryland into her swim diaper and suit while Ryder puts on some board shorts.
Once her sunscreen is on, he scoops her up in his arms and talks to her while we walk outside. I find a lounge chair and take a seat to watch them in the pool. I didn’t bring a swimsuit with me, and I make a mental note of things I need to buy.
First things first, though, I need to find a job to be able to do that. I get out my phone and pull up Blue Haven’s website. I’m relieved when I see a section for job openings. I want to stick close to here, preferably in the downtown area, so I can beg Jake and Ryder for a ride every once in a while since they both work in that area until I can afford a car. I skim through the listing, hoping to find something like I did in Seattle where I can bring Ryland with me or, better yet, something I can do remotely from home.
I glance up from my phone when I hear Ryland’s laugh filter through the air. Ryder has her on his shoulders, and he dips in the water, getting her legs wet. Jake and Miles have joined them. I smile at the scene and go back to my search.
I mark a couple of possibilities before something catches my eye... Ryder’s Restores. I click on the post and read the job description. He’s looking for someone to run the office and take care of all the billing and administrative work. I scan the requirements and meet them all. It’s exactly what I was looking for.
Would he even hire me? I work my bottom lip between my teeth and debate on asking him about it. I feel his gaze on me and look up to see him staring at me. I release my bottom lip, and his eyes darken before looking away. Right now, I would probably get a big fat NO. I’ve already invaded his personal space and I doubt he would want me invading his business space as well.
I see a place to upload your resume. If I can just get him to take a look at mine and give me an interview, I know I could get him to say yes. This listing has been up for a while, and he’s probably in desperate need of help right now.
I open my resume and read over it. If he didn’t know it was me, he would hire this person in a heartbeat. I’m overqualified, and I know the last place I worked would give me a raving referral. I highlight my name and hit delete. Eve Donovan might not get an interview, but I bet Mercedes Rhodes will. I grin at my play-on-words with the car theme. I type out an email that I used for work that he won’t recognize before attaching my resume and hitting send before I chicken out. What’s the worst that can happen? I get the interview, show up, and he slams the door in my face when he realizes it’s me? It’s a very likely scenario, but I need this job, and I know I will be damn good at it. I’ll just have to make him listen to me.
“You’re not getting in the pool?” I look up and see Sophia set her bag on the chair next to me. She’s wearing a black bikini and looking amazing, as usual. Her dark hair is up in a bun, and with her big dark sunglasses, she looks like she just stepped out of a Hollywood movie.
“I haven’t been able to replace a lot of the clothes I left behind, and swimsuits were one of them,” I laugh. “I’m just watching today.”
“Oh, no, you don’t. Come with me. I left some here from last summer and brought even more with me this time. I have plenty for you to choose from.” She holds out her hand, and I take it as she links our arms together and pulls me to the house.
“Are you sure? I seriously don’t mind watching.”
“I’m sure. We’re family. Practically sisters,” she says, smiling at me. I blink back the tears and return the smile. I haven’t had another girlfriend around who’s felt like a sister since Savi. Sophia squeezes my arm and nudges me with her shoulder. “It’s all going to work out. You’ll see. I have a good feeling about you two. Just keep showing up and building back up that trust. He’ll come around.”
When I came back from the beach after telling Ryder what had happened, Sophia and I had a long talk. She listened while I poured my heart out about Ryder. I felt a bond with her immediately.
“I hope so,” I whisper.
“He still loves you, Eve. Anyone with eyes can see that. Hell, I can feel it whenever you two are in the same room. He just needs time.”
We walk into her and Travis’s bedroom. She goes over to the dresser to start rummaging through her swimsuits.
“Ahhh, this one is perfect. It will match your eyes.” She holds up a blue bikini with gold rings on the string halter top and on the sides of the bottom.
I take it from her and grin. She’s right…my eyes are going to pop in this.
“Try it on. I want to see!” She excitedly sits on the bed and gestures to the hall leading to the bathroom.
“Okay.” I can’t help but get excited with her. Her energy is contagious, and I haven’t felt this happy in a long time.
I quickly try it on and stare at myself in the mirror. It fits my body like it was made for it. I turn and inspect the back. It’s very cheeky and shows off my ass. I immediately think of Ryder and how he could never keep his hands off my butt whenever we went to the beach together. I had a permanent hand attached to my cheek the whole time like he was staking his claim, and it always made me feel like the sexiest girl on the beach.
I’m even more fit now that I’ve been working out more. My parents had a gym in their house, and when I had trouble sleeping, which was almost every night, I would sneak downstairs with the baby monitor and run on the treadmill until I was too tired to do anything else but take a shower and sleep.
I walk back into the bedroom, and Sophia whistles. “Damn girl, you look hot! I don’t even want it back. It was made for you.”
“I can’t take it from you,” I say, shaking my head.
“Yes, you can, and you will. Sisters, remember?”
“Sisters,” I say softly. “Thank you, Sophia, and not just for the swimsuit. For everything. For loving Travis and Max and being there for Ryder this past year.”
“They are easy to love, and so are you.” Her eyes get soft, and she smiles at me. “Now, how about we make some mimosas and get back out to the guys? I have a feeling someone's eyes are about to pop out of their head.” She laughs and gets off the bed, walking us toward the kitchen.
I have no clue what Ryder’s reaction will be. He’s been so back and forth with his emotions that it’s impossible to say. We get our mimosas and go back outside. I guess I’m about to find out because all talk stops once the guys see us. I feel his eyes on me, but I don’t have the guts to face them yet.
“Daaaaaaaamn, Evie. You look hot as hell in that swimsuit.” I meet Miles’s eyes, and he’s grinning from ear to ear. A low growl comes from his side, and I resist the urge to follow it. I hear Jake laugh as Miles joins in.
Sophia winks at me and steps down in the pool before big-tatted arms go around her waist. Travis brings her back against his chest and kisses his wife’s neck.
“Are you coming in, Evie?” Max comes up for air and slides his goggles on top of his head.
“Definitely, Max.” He grins and dives back under. I turn and walk my phone to the table.
“Jesus, it’s even a better view from this angle.” Jake busts out laughing when Miles gets hit in the face with a big splash.
“If I didn’t have my daughter in my arms right now and my nephew two feet away, I would have a few choice words for you. Keep your comments and your eyes to yourself,” Ryder says in a low voice.
“I’m just glad it’s not my wife for a change,” Travis laughs.
“Oh, I still think she’s hot as hell, too,” Miles grins and hides behind Jake before Travis can splash him.
I take in the scene before me and can’t help but smile. They are exactly how I remember them together, and it’s like no time has passed. Besides the fact that I don’t have Ryder’s arms wrapped around me right now, it would be just like the many pool days we all had together.
I set my mimosas next to the pool and sink into the water. I walk over to Ryland, and she grins at me.
“Momma.”
“Hi Rybug. Are you having fun in the pool?”
“Ducky.” She shows me the yellow rubber duck in her hands.
“Ducky,” I laugh. I lift my eyes and finally meet Ryder’s. His eyes dip lower as he takes in my swimsuit top before the molten greys meet mine.
“Nice suit,” he says quietly, not showing any emotion on his face.
“Thanks. Sophia gave it to me since I didn’t have one. Do you need me to take Ryland so you can have a break?”
“No, I’ve got her.” His jaw is tense as he stares me down before looking away. He immediately softens when he looks at Ryland.
“Okay,” I sigh. “Just let me know if you need me to relieve you.” He nods his head without looking at me, and I swim back over to my drink and take a long sip.
Sophia comes up to my side and laughs under her breath. “Well, that was interesting. I thought Ryder was going to have a stroke when he saw you. Miles is lucky he had Ryland in his arms. Actually,” she says, thinking, “that’s why he pushed Ryder’s buttons because he knew he was safe with Ryland in his arms,” she laughs.
“I think I only succeeded in making him more angry with me. I’m going to need a lot more of these to get through this afternoon.” I take another long sip.
“I’ve got you, babe. The fridge is stocked, and we have four hot pool boys, the hottest being my husband,” she grins, “at our disposal to bring us drinks all afternoon. Speaking of one, said pool boy,” she stops Jake as he walks to the house. “Can you get us a refill, Jake, while you are in there?”
“Sure thing, ladies. Need anything else?” He takes our empty glasses, and she shakes her head. “No, just a refill. Thank you.”
“No problem, sis.”
I watch him walk away and turn to Sophia. “I’m really surprised he’s still single. Out of all of them, I thought Jake would have been the one who was married when I came back. No offense,” I say, laughing.
“None taken,” she grins. “Travis and I literally ran into each other one night, and trust me, getting married was the last thing on his mind. He wanted a one-night stand, and I couldn’t resist the temptation. We both quickly realized there was no keeping us apart. He was my person, and I was his. Jake just hasn’t found his person yet. And Miles…” We both laugh at the thought of Miles settling down. “Miles is having way too much fun, but one day, it’s going to be funny as hell when he finds his person because I think two of his brothers are going to have fun paying him back.”
“They so are,” I laugh.
Jake comes back out with a small cooler and sits it down next to us. “I brought the bar to you,” he grins, opening it up and refilling our drinks.
“Oh, this is going to be so much fun,” Sophia laughs as Travis grabs her from behind.
“Yes, it is. I know how you get on mimosas. Jake, you are babysitting later this afternoon for an hour.” Sophia giggles into her drink.
“An hour? More like fifteen minutes,” Jake laughs.
“That’s Miles you are thinking of,” Travis grins.
“I heard that!” Miles yells out from behind us, causing us to laugh.
I glance at Ryder playing with Ryland by the steps. She’s sitting on the top one, floating her rubber ducky. He must feel my eyes on him because he looks my way. I wish I could tell what he’s thinking. He finally breaks away and goes back to Ryland.
What I wouldn’t do for just fifteen minutes. Hell, I would take five at this point. I take another long sip. I haven’t drank since I found out I was pregnant, so I can already feel the effects of the alcohol. I didn’t trust my parents enough to let down my guard. I had Ryland to protect, and I didn’t want anything to dull my senses. I think part of me was also afraid I would like it too much and would want to stay numb like my mother always did. It would have been the easier way out, but Ryland had already lost her dad. She didn’t need to lose her mom too.
“Hey, Max! Do you know what time it is?” Miles yells across the pool, pulling me out of my thoughts.
“Double chicken time!” Max swims over to Miles, and he lifts him up on his shoulders. “Who are our victims going to be?” They grin at us.
“I’ve got this one.” Travis ducks down, and Sophia shrieks as she’s immediately raised into the air.
“Looks like I have the beautiful Evie.” Jake grins at me and starts to swim over.
“Like hell you do,” I hear Ryder mutter. “Watch my daughter.” Jake winks at me, and I bite back my smile, knowing he just set Ryder up.