Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Vivi let out a huge sigh as Mason left through the front door, not sparing her another glance. She couldn’t tell if the strange feeling in her stomach was relief or disappointment. Up until he’d cornered her a few minutes ago, she had somehow managed to avoid him all day.
She couldn’t forget his reaction Saturday night. Part of her still couldn’t believe he’d run out on her. It felt like a dagger to the heart. One minute, everything was perfect. The next, the door had snicked shut, sending a spear of agony straight through her soul.
She had been crushed. Her heart still felt a little tender, truth be told.
He had seemed so sincere, apologizing over and over after he’d come back to bed.
But could she trust him? It was eerily similar to the night at the hotel.
She had woken just after dawn, and the bed where he’d lain next to her half the night was cold and empty.
What if it happened again? Would he just decide one day that she wasn’t enough, that he didn’t want to be with her, and walk out just as he had Saturday night?
She had caught both Knox and Miles eyeing her throughout the day, watching as if they thought something was different with her.
She had managed to avoid both of them too for the most part.
She couldn’t bear to answer any questions.
She knew Mason wanted to tell her brother about them, and she understood where he was coming from.
But she wasn’t ready—especially after this weekend.
What was the point in telling everyone they were dating if it wasn’t going to last?
“What do you have going on tonight?”
She jumped at the sound of her brother’s voice and pasted on a smile as she turned toward him. “Just heading home. Gonna chill and pack some more.”
“How’s that going?” He leaned one hip against the desk and studied her.
She shrugged. “It’s kind of a process. There’s so much stuff I don’t know where to begin.”
“Want some help? I can grab a pizza and swing by.”
She thought about that for a second. It had been a while since she’d had some time alone with Knox. “Actually, that’d be nice. Thanks.”
“Meet you at six?”
“Sure.” She’d make sure to text Mason when she left and let him know that Knox was coming over so he wouldn’t show up. She was sure he wouldn’t like it, but she couldn’t help it. She should tell her brother—and she would. If things worked out between her and Mason, and when the time was right.
She gathered up her stuff and headed home to wait for Knox. True to his word, he was there less than a half hour later. His eyes widened as he stepped inside. “You’ve been busy.”
She glanced around at the boxes as she closed up behind him. “I know. I’ve been getting stuff boxed up, but I haven’t had a chance to take most of it to the storage unit yet.”
“We can take a load in the SUV tomorrow,” he offered.
She grinned. “You’re useful once in a while, you know that?”
Knox snorted. “Whatever. You don’t know what you’d do without me.”
“I don’t,” she agreed. “You’re pretty much the best big brother ever.”
“I know.” His cocky smile reappeared, and she rolled her eyes.
“Good thing you’re so humble.”
His smile slid away, replaced once more with his patented serious expression. “I hope you know you can talk to me if you ever need to.”
Piercing dark eyes stared into hers, and she fought the urge to spill her guts to him on the spot. “I know.”
“Okay.” He studied her again. “You just… haven’t seemed like yourself recently. I know you’ve got a lot going on, I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
“I’m just a little overwhelmed,” she admitted. “I mean, with the house and Ellen and everything…”
Not to mention the drama with Mason, but there was no way she would ask her brother for advice on that. Ever. She trailed off, and thank God Knox picked up on the excuse.
“It’s a lot for one person to handle. I’d be more than happy to help you with whatever you need.”
“I appreciate that, and I might take you up on the offer.” She gestured to the subfloor they stood on. The workers had pulled up the damaged flooring after the fire, but she had yet to fix it. “If I stay here, I’ll eventually replace the floors, paint, that kind of thing.”
“Makes sense.” He nodded a little. “Is there still a question of you staying here?”
She watched as Knox flipped open the lid of the pizza box and extracted a slice, all while contemplating his question. “I don’t think so, not anymore.”
“You sure?” He took a bite and chewed. “No one would blame you, you know. You went to school for a reason. You left the state because you wanted bigger and better things. No one wants to hold you back. If you want to go back up north, or if you want to travel, you should do it.”
“I know, but…” She bit her lip. “I feel guilty.”
“Don’t.” Knox shook his head. “You can’t live your life based on someone else.
I can understand you wanting to be here for Ellen, and I commend you for that.
But you don’t have to put your life plans on hold.
I mean, I’m your brother so I obviously want you to be safe.
I’d prefer you be here, but I understand that you need to find your own way, too.
If you’re not happy here, you should go do what you want to do.
You can always come back. You can visit, or you can move. ”
“I don’t think I want to leave.” She shook her head.
“It’s just… I know it doesn’t make much sense.
This feels like home. I love it here, and a lot of my friends are still here.
You’re here. It’s just that I never quite pictured this when I went away to school.
I always thought that I would go to work somewhere big and important, and do big things. ”
“You still can,” Knox said softly.
“I could,” she agreed. “When I was up north in school, I felt like I belonged. But then I came back here and this fits, too. I just can’t decide what I like better.”
“Well, just so you know,” Knox said as he lifted his pizza and took another bite, “I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure you’re happy here so you stick around for a while.”
She lifted a brow. “Maybe give me a raise?”
“Eh, except that.” Knox grinned, and she lightly backhanded him.
“Come on, I’m putting you to work.”
For the next couple of hours, Knox and Vivi sorted through Christine’s old bedroom.
Ellen hadn’t had the heart to get rid of her things, so for years it had remained a sort of enshrinement to her deceased daughter.
After a long conversation, Knox and Vivi decided to keep only the important things in storage in case Ellen or Elijah ever wanted them and either donate or toss the rest. It was a blast from the past, seeing all of the nineties décor as they packed all of her things into boxes and bags.
Tucked between the frame and box spring of the twin-sized bed, Vivi found an old book.
She fished it out and turned it over in her hands.
The cover was faded and cracked, and she opened it to find childish handwriting.
As she flipped through the pages, the handwriting got neater, but the content became darker and bleaker.
“Whatcha got?” Knox peered over her shoulder, and she held up the journal.
“I think it’s Christine’s diary,” she said.
His brows drew together. “I wonder if there’s anything in it?”
She had no idea. She felt like an interloper reading Christine’s personal thoughts, especially since she’d later killed herself.
There was no question that Christine had been damaged, disturbed.
She set it aside to go through later and decide what to do with it.
She wasn’t sure whether she wanted to bring it up to Ellen or not.
She glanced around the nearly empty room. “Thanks for your help. I think I’m going to relax for a bit.”
“Sounds good. I’ll take these out on my way,” he replied, gesturing toward the bags they’d gathered.
They dragged them out to the curb, and Knox threw an arm around her shoulders in a brotherly hug. “I’ll see you at work in the morning.”
“Sounds good.”
“Think about those floors,” he said. “I’m sure we can find something relatively inexpensive and easy to install.”
“I will.”
With that, he was gone and Vivi headed into the house.
She hadn’t heard from Mason yet, but she was fairly certain he’d be stopping by later.
She fished her phone from her pocket, disappointed to find she didn’t have a response to her earlier message.
She could tell he’d been upset with her earlier, and she bit her lip as she typed out a new one asking if he’d be over.
She hoped fervently that she hadn’t screwed things up.
Her heart gave a little leap when his response came a couple of minutes later, telling her he’d be there in an hour.
She wandered back into Christine’s room, then picked up the diary again.
She felt like she was violating her privacy, but Christine had been gone for more than twenty-five years.
Besides, she couldn’t deny that she was intensely curious about what was inside.
Had Christine written about what was bothering her?
Maybe there was something in there that could give Ellen closure.
She took the book into the living room and opened it, losing herself in the words of a troubled teen as she waited for Mason to arrive.