Chapter 27
Zach
“Zach?”
I hear Randall’s voice and look up from the magazine I had been
reading as I waited for him in his lobby. He didn’t make me
wait long, and I stand up from the couch I was sitting on.
“Hey…
I’m sorry to show up unannounced like this, but do you have a
minute to talk?”
Randall beams at me
and beckons me forward. “For you, I have all the time in the
world. Come on… let’s go back to my office.”
I follow behind
Randall, my heart beating with fear and excitement. When I woke up
this morning, still wrapped up sweetly in Moira’s arms, my
decision was made. I was going to stay here… with her…
and start a new life. A life maybe I was supposed to have all along.
A life reclaimed.
I also knew, deep in
my heart, this is what Paraila was hoping for me.
But I needed
Randall’s help… so the first order of business was to
swallow my pride and ask for it.
I had slipped out of
bed gently, leaving Moira softly slumbering. I know I wore her out
the night before, and after experiencing the most intense, most
erotically overwhelming orgasm of my entire life, I was wrecked as
well. I had never slept more deeply or more peacefully since the day
I was born.
When I woke up, I
knew that had nothing to do with the fact that I claimed Moira’s
ass as my own last night. It had everything to do with the fact that
she loved me, and I was pretty fucking sure that I would die without
her. So I took a quick shower, got dressed, and made a call to Sam to
ask him to drive me to Randall’s office in downtown Atlanta.
Randall leads me
into his office, softly shutting the door behind us. He takes a seat
on his leather couch, foregoing the formality of sitting behind his
desk. I take a chair opposite, placing my hands on my knees…
my body tight with anxiety.
“What’s
wrong?” he asks with concern in his eyes. “You look about
ready to explode.”
“I want to
stay here… in the States. With Moira.”
Understanding laced
with pure happiness seeps into Randall’s eyes, and his teeth
flash at me. He claps his hands together once and says, “My
boy… that’s fantastic news. I’m sure Moira is so
happy. I knew there was something special between you two.”
“Actually…
I haven’t told her yet. I need to get some things figured out
first.”
Randall leans
forward, his face dead serious. Leaning his elbows on his knees and
clasping his hands together, he asks simply, “What can I do to
help?”
“I need a job…
some way to…” But my words falter. How do I say this
without sounding like a caveman? “I need some way I can take
care of Moira. No… that’s not right, because she can
take care of herself. I just… I need some way to contribute.
To be useful. I need a job, and I’d like to work for you. Maybe
in one of the stores… stocking shelves or something like
that.”
There.
It’s out.
I’ve asked for
his help, and all I can do is wait to see what he’ll do for me.
“Zach…
you have a place at Cannon’s. And I will have you start at the
bottom and work your way up, so you can learn every facet of this
business. Because if you stay here… and you work for me, I
expect you will go places and be right at the helm with me one day.
But for now… I don’t want you here.”
I blink in surprise
at him, so sure he was going to immediately put me in the store
that’s located in the mall not three miles from my house. “But…
I need something now… a way to make money.”
“What you need
is your education,” he says with a serious look. “I
propose letting me help you get that. You’d need to get your
GED first, and then you need to go on to college. You’re
bright, and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t flourish
in an academic setting. You’ll be a little behind, but I’ll
get a tutor to help you get caught up.”
“School?
College?” I ask, dumbfounded. It had never occurred to me.
“Yes, and once
you complete your undergrad, I’ll put you to work here. I’ll
want you to go on and get your MBA, but you can do that and work part
time.”
I appreciate the
strong confidence in his words, but this just won’t do. I don’t
have time for that. “I need to earn a living now. I need to be
able to contribute,” I tell Randall with sincerity. “I
cannot accept charity.”
Randall leans back
in the couch and taps a finger against his lips while he appraises
me. “How about this… you can work part time at Cannon’s
while you get your education. It won’t be enough to cover
tuition and books, but if you let me pay for that, the part time work
can help you contribute to yours and Moira’s household
expenses. I assume you will stay with her?”
“That was my
plan. Which means I’ll have to go to school somewhere near her
home if I can swing it. Or at least within traveling distance.”
“Trust me…
I donated enough money to Northwestern when I hired Moira that I
guarantee you’ll get a spot there as long as your grades are
good.”
Good grades? Oh,
fuck. Can I really do this? Can I really buckle down and actually go
to college?
Fuck yeah, I can ,
roars within my head, because I’d do anything to make this work
with Moira.
“I accept,”
I tell Randall with a smile of thanks. “And I’ll pay you
back every dime you invest in to me.”
Randall chuckles and
stands from the couch. “Not necessary. I consider it investing
in Cannon’s future. But I will accept a hearty handshake to
seal the deal.”
I stand from my
chair and reach out to Randall’s outstretched hand. On impulse,
I step forward and wrap my arms around his shoulders, pulling him in
for a quick hug. “Thank you, Randall. This means a lot to me.”
When I pull back,
his eyes are wet with emotion, and he gives a cough. “Yes,
well… it’s my pleasure. Truly, and can I finally say,
Zach… welcome home, my boy.”
Sam drops me off at
my house, and I practically leap past the four short steps that lead
up to the porch. I shove the door open, calling out Moira’s
name.
I see her
immediately sitting at the kitchen table, her laptop open and her
cell phone lying beside it. She turns to me, and her face is deathly
white. Standing from the chair, she walks toward me, reaching out her
hands. I link mine with hers and ask with a sickening feeling in my
stomach. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m so
sorry, Zach,” she says, her eyes filling with tears. “But
Father Gaul called a little bit ago. The Matica raided Caraica two
days ago. Father Gaul immediately hiked out to a river town that had
satellite phone service to call me.”
“Paraila?”
I ask, my throat feeling as if it were filled with sand and my heart
galloping away from me.
“Injured. He
was shot with an arrow, but Father Gaul thinks he’ll be okay.
It went into his shoulder and the wound looks fine.”
“And the
others?” I ask in a hoarse whisper.
Moira’s eyes
drop to the ground, and she doesn’t answer me right away.
“Moira,”
I yell at her. “What about the others?”
“Several are
dead… I’m not sure who. Some of the children were taken.
The village was burned to the ground.”
My head tilts back,
my neck seemingly unable to hold it up. My mouth opens, and I roar in
pain, “FUCK!”
Moira’s arms
are around me, squeezing me tight… plastering her body as
close to mine as she can get. “I’m so sorry, Zach. So, so
sorry.”
My arms hang limply
at her side, unable to accept her comfort. Fury blazes through me…
fury at Paraila for making me leave, rage at Randall for insisting I
come, and bitterness toward Moira for enticing me to stay away from
my home and those that needed me.
I peel Moira away
from me, heading into the bedroom. Rummaging through the closet, I
pull out my backpack and throw it on the bed. I quickly find the
cargo pants and bush shirts Moira had bought for me to wear in the
Amazon, along with some socks and my hiking boots. I stuff it all
haphazardly into the pack and then reach into my top drawer to pull
out my passport.
Out of the corner of
my eye, I see Moira walk into the room. My head snaps to hers, and I
bark, “I need you to arrange for me to get back to Caraica. Get
me in as close as you can, and I’ll hike the rest of the way.
I’ll need some of those dehydrated rations and water tablets.
Anything else you can think of.”
“Zach…
there’s no rush. The raid is done, and Paraila is going to be
just fine. If you wait, I’ll go—”
“Just fucking
do it,” I yell at her, my fists clenching in rage. “It’s
the least you can do for pulling me away from there in the first
place.”
Moira’s face
blanches, and tears fill her eyes. It feels like an arrow has pierced
my heart, so terrible do I feel for what I just said.
But I won’t
take it back, because the brackish bitterness is choking any further
words out of me.
How could I have
been so stupid as to have left? What kind of selfishness must have
been living within me… to have caused me to abandon the people
that needed me most? Paraila could have died. Others did die ,
I think, while choking on the pain of those thoughts.
More importantly,
how could I have ever let myself get sucked into this world…
receiving its pleasures and frivolity? I turned a blind eye to my
people all because I got infatuated with a little bit of pussy.
My heart clenches as
I think these vile thoughts about Moira, knowing deep down they are
unfair to her. But the guilt and shame is pressing in on me so hard
that I have to abandon my love and desire for her. There’s no
room… not when I’m filled with black rage, tortured
pain, and now an insatiable need for revenge.
“Zach,”
Moira pleads with me softly. “Will you just hold up a minute…
let’s talk about this first?”
I take a deep breath
and let it out slowly. “There’s nothing to talk about.
I’m going back and if you won’t help me get there, I’ll
go to Randall. He’ll do it.”
Moira nods in
understanding, turning toward the bedroom door. “Of course,
I’ll make all the arrangements. I’ll come with you.”
“No,” I
say with an icy voice. “I don’t want you to.”
Because there’s
no point.
There’s
nothing she can do, and her life will only be in danger, because I
know as sure as I’m standing here, ready to tear my hair out in
frustration, that the tribe is already planning a retaliation.
Moira’s face
crumbles before me, and her shoulders slump. Resignation fills her
face, and she blinks the tears away. “Okay,” she says
softly. “I’ll get it handled for you. You should call
Randall and tell him goodbye.”
Yes, that’s a
good idea.
I can’t
believe just an hour ago, I sat in his office and made grand plans
for my future. Now I would be calling him to put those plans to rest
and move on with my life.
I’ve gotten
myself a little bit under control. I’ve wrapped my head around
what has happened, as well as the fact that it will be a full three
days of travel before I can get to Caraica, so I’ve decided to
stop trying to worry myself into a frenzy. Moira managed to get me on
the next flight out to Georgetown, Guyana and, from there, two
charter flights to take me directly to the Amazon River in Brazil.
From there, I’d have to figure out how to get a dugout canoe to
make my way by water to Caraica, but I wasn’t worried about
that. I’d steal one if I had to.
Overall, she’d
managed to cut probably at least a day’s travel off my journey
by bringing me in through Guyana, for which I’m extremely
grateful. However, I haven’t even found the voice with which to
thank her for her efforts because I’m afraid to talk to her.
I’m afraid of all the things she could possibly say to me to
change my mind, and while the pain of what happened to my tribe still
throbs deep within me, I’m now filled with excruciating pain
over the fact that I’m leaving Moira behind.
Leaving behind my
new hopes and dreams that had just been bubbling up with excitement
this morning.
All gone…
turned to ash in a terrible change of circumstances.
Moira insisted on
driving me to the airport, and the silence lays heavy between us. Her
grip on the steering wheel is so tight that her knuckles are white,
and she’s chewing on her bottom lip. I want so badly to reach
out, stroke her hair, touch her face… and tell her it will all
be okay.
But it won’t.
Not for either of
us.
The airport exit
looms ahead, and she turns on her blinker to take it. My chest cramps
with anxiety and the wrongness of all of this, but I push it aside. I
have to be strong… for my people. For Paraila.
And I hope that
Moira can be strong enough for herself as I leave her behind.
Moira navigates her
way to the proper terminal, weaving among traffic until she finds a
place to pull up alongside the curb outside of United Airlines.
We both get out of
the car, and I wait for her to circle around. She hands me my tickets
that she had printed off at the house and then presses another
envelope into my hand.
“Here’s
some cash,” she says.
“It won’t
do me any good,” I say as I try to push it back at her. “I’ll
have to barter something else to get a canoe.”
She shakes her head
at me, her eyes haunted. “Not for a canoe. When you land near
the river, find someone to buy some rifles from. Take the time to
learn how to use them before you leave.”
I blink in surprise
at her. “Guns?”
“You’re
going after the Matica, aren’t you?” she asks simply.
“You know we
are.”
“Then I want
you to have the upper hand. Use the modern technology available.”
My head starts
swimming. “You want me to buy guns?”
Tears fill Moira’s
eyes, and she nods her head. “I want you to be safe, Zach. I
want you to not get killed. Guns will help.”
My fingers curl
around the envelope and my arms slide around her, pulling her into my
body. For the last time, I bend down, smell her sweet hair, and feel
her heartbeat against me. Laying my cheek against the top of her
head, I take the moment to revel in her touch… her love…
her sadness.
I’ll take that
sadness with me to the grave, whether that is when we raid the Matica
or years from now, when I’m probably dying of my battered
heart.
“You’re
not coming back, are you?” she asks quietly.
“No,” I
tell her. “I’m not.”
Moira pulls back and
leans up on her toes, placing a soft kiss on my lips. “Then go
with my love and know that I’ll never regret a moment we shared
together. You’ll always reside in my heart, Zacharias.”
Agony washes through
me as I step away from Moira. She blinks those ethereal green eyes,
as verdant as the Amazon, and crystal tears spill down her cheeks. My
stomach cramps and my chest tightens in pain.
Reaching out one
last time, I stroke my fingers along her cheek. “Goodbye,
Moira.”
Turning away from
me, she heads around the front of the car. She never looks back, and
I watch as she climbs in and pulls away.
Pulls away from me
forever.
Taking a deep
breath, I raise my face to the modern sun and feel its heat for the
last time. Then I turn and head into the airport, so I can get back
to my real life.