Chapter Thirty-Three
GRAY
SHE JERKS her head back like I slapped her, and her eyes go wide. “No! I would never! Is everyone okay? Is Marley okay?” The words tumble out of her mouth like she can’t get them out fast enough as she looks toward Marley’s stable, and her hand covers her stomach.
Either she doesn’t know anything about it, or she’s a great fucking actress.
Her eyebrows pull together slightly, and her eyes get glassy. I can’t tell if she’s hurt that I thought she might somehow be involved or if she is genuinely worried about Marley.
Probably both.
Hooking my thumbs in my pockets, I shift my weight to one leg. “Everyone’s fine. We had to put one of her horses down.”
Her head snaps back in my direction. “Oh, no. Was it the one she just got? The one Lainey Rai likes so much?”
It’s my turn to be shocked, I didn’t realize she was aware of what Lainey Rai likes or doesn’t like. She did spend a lot of time with the girls while she was here. The burn behind my chest spreads and I cough into my fist. “Yeah. She was pretty upset about it.”
Her brown eyes soften and the look she is giving me is pleading. “I’m so sorry. Will you tell Marley and Lainey Rai?”
Nodding my head, I look down at my boots.
The silence is uncomfortable. I’m wondering why she isn’t leaving while at the same time I’m glad to be close to her for each agonizingly painful second.
“Will you please talk to me?” Her voice is soft, and I detect a wobble, making me look at her.
Not knowing what to say, I hold her eye contact. My heart is beating like a herd of horses.
She takes another step, putting her just a couple of feet away from me. “I swear, he’s not my boyfriend.” Her eyes drop to my chest when she says, “I was stupid enough to trust him when I was in college. Turns out I was easier to fool than I thought I was.”
The vulnerability in her eyes makes me want to reach for her and hold her until she feels confident and valuable again. Pushing my feelings aside, I remember my daughter and sisters crying last night. “He was the one to set fire to the stables, he indicated you might have known about it.”
Her eyes snap up to mine, and her head is shaking before I even finish talking. “No. That’s a lie.” Her eyes are wide, and her hands drop to her sides in fists. “The only time I’ve spoken with him since I’ve been in Oklahoma was when you were in the room.”
She looks at the stable and mumbles something about not being able to find him.
Wanting to believe her more than I want to challenge her, I push through the anger and hurt to stay on course. I wince at my next words. “You could have planned the whole thing before you came here. I don’t know how you could prove any different. I just don’t know how I can trust you.”
The sharp intake of breath is quiet, and she starts to say something, but I hold my hand up between us and her mouth clamps closed. “I’m not sure there is anything you could say to minimize the damage that’s been done.”
Images of Marley laying over a lame horse, sobbing like she did all those years ago are heart wrenching. Watching my daughter hiccup herself to sleep because she’s so heartbroken.
Then there’s that fucker smiling at me, wanting me to believe Elly played a part in all of it.
His comment ‘she get under your skin?’ keeps playing in my head and just the thought of everything between us being an act sends a lump to my throat so big it makes me look away while I’m trying to clear the hurt that’s lodged itself in my chest.
Her breath hitches and her eyes glass over. “I swear, Gray, I didn’t know anything about the fire. If there is anything I want you to believe right now, it’s that. I would never do something like that, not for anything.” She takes a deep breath and I hear the shudder in her chest.
The shudder when she inhales has me shifting my gaze to hers. Big mistake.
“While I was here, I learned about genuine family.” Her voice wobbles again and she clears her throat.
“I will do what I can to help you and your family, but, hand to my heart,” she flattens her palm over her chest and I almost crack and pull her to me.
“I did NOT know anything about what Harris was doing. That’s the truth. ”
All I can manage is to swallow, it’s taking everything I have to resist the urge to be close to her. To put my faith in her.
Her eyes start to fill, and I clench my fists, willing myself to stay right where I’m at. “Gray, why would I drive all the way out here if I had anything to do with what Harris did last night?”
Not able to look into her eyes, she looks so genuine, I look down at my boots.
My heart fucking breaking at what I’m about to say next.
“It just seems like since you showed up, bad things keep happening.” I hear her suck in a breath, and I lift my eyes to meet hers.
She looks like I just put a knife in her heart and the guilt is about to eat me up.
“So many horrible things could have happened last night, to my sister, to my daughter, I think it’s best we put some space between us.
We need to put things right around here and after last night, it’s not going to be easy. ”
Her eyes volley between mine for a moment, and a tear slips down her cheek that she swats away before it gets far. She takes a deep breath and straightens her shoulders before she smiles that smile I hate, the one that doesn’t reach her eyes.
“Of course. Understood. Thank you for your time.” She turns to walk to her car.
The burn behind my sternum is consuming my entire chest, and it takes all I have to not go after her.
My feet feel like they are anchored to the porch as I watch her turn her car in the circle drive and I still don’t move as I watch her tail lights disappear over the hill in the driveway.
The intense pressure in my chest makes it difficult to breathe, my head says I dodged a bullet, but the ache in my heart says I just made a huge fucking mistake.
Turning toward the stable, I walk around the porch and take a seat in one of the big wicker chairs outside the kitchen door, my palm over my chin.
The damage to the stables is on the other side and can’t be seen from this angle, but through the course of the day, we have been busy cleaning and making sure the two horses left are comfortable.
Marley has been withdrawn all day, and she only picked at her dinner. She woke us all up last night with one of her nightmares, Mason and Sloane sat with her until she went back to sleep. It scared Lainey Rai, and I had to sit with her until she went back to sleep.
The asshole that started the fire has no idea the type of wound he reopened last night. The feeling of being violated over again has sent her back into a state of mind that hundreds of hours of therapy helped her get out of.
I think about Elly’s question, why would she come back here today after what happened last night if she had anything to do with it?
Is it possible her co-worker was working against her all this time, and she’s innocent of all the bullshit?
Pulled into something that puts her at the front of a nasty fucking plan?
Anything is possible, but there are so many obstacles. And there’s Lainey Rai. I have to put my daughter first.
I don’t know how long I sat out there in the cold, staring across the yard at the stables lit up by the floodlights. My mind has been bouncing back and forth so fast that I pinch the bridge of my nose to stave off the pain of the headache tapping across my forehead from one temple to the other.
“Daddy.” Lainey Rai’s sweet voice pulls me from my thoughts, and I sling my head in her direction.
“Yes, sweetheart.” She’s in her pajamas and I realize its bedtime. “I’m sorry, pumpkin, I lost track of the time.” I say as I stand and walk to her.
Looking down at her feet, I see she doesn’t have any socks on. I scoop her up and say, “What are you doing? It’s freezing cold out here, you should have your house shoes on.”
She loops her arms around my neck and lays her head on my shoulder, her long legs hanging down each side of mine. She’s getting so big. Her long hair is laying on her back like brown silk. Just like her mama. “I didn’t know you were outside, I thought you were in the office.”
Turning my head, I kiss the back of her head. “Well, next time knock on the window and I’ll come to you.”
It takes longer than usual for her to fall asleep. I even read a few chapters of her favorite book, A Wrinkle In Time, before her eyes are too heavy to hold open. It’s so late I doubt anyone is still awake.
As I quietly close the door to Lainey Rai’s room, I look down the hall and see Jax sitting against the wall, his head reclined with his eyes closed, next to Marley’s door. My hackles instantly rise, and I walk toward him.
He hears me and his head rolls against the wall to look in my direction. He quietly stands and turns to lean his shoulder casually against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest. “What are you doing?” I whisper.
“She might have another nightmare, I want her to know she’s safe.” He says quietly, like we are talking about the weather.
“You don’t have to do that, one of us will make sure she’s okay.” Keeping my voice firm, I’ll need to find out how Marley feels about this.
His expression doesn’t change, and he looks at me like we’re best friends. “I don’t mind, part of my job is keeping watch. I’m used to it.”
“Does Marley know you’re out here?” If she doesn’t, he will need to go. “She’s not good right now.”
He shakes his head once. “I didn’t ask her.”
The door opens and Marley is standing there in sleep shorts and a t-shirt, the silver necklace with the horseshoe still around her neck, and her hair is loose and wild from tossing and turning, hanging down to her waist. Her big blue eyes have dark shadows under them, and it tugs my heart to see her look so tired.
She glances at Jax, her gaze only landing on him for seconds before she looks at me. “It’s okay that he’s out here.” It’s short and simple.
Holding her gaze, I look over her face, she looks so tired. “Marley, if you want one of us to sit outside your door, we will. We don’t mind.”
Her eyes soften and she steps out of her room, her arms wrapping around my ribs. I hug her body to me and notice she feels small. Did she eat at all today? Pressing my lips to the top of her head, the coconut smell of her shampoo fills my nose, and I turn my head to rest my cheek there.
Her breath is hot through my shirt on my chest when she says, “I like that Jax is out here.”
My eyes meet his over her head and, even though the smile from before doesn’t change, I see him breathe a sigh of relief.
Rubbing my hand up and down her back, I say, “Okay. You know where to find me if you need me.”
She nods and steps back into her room. Her eyes slide over Jax for just a moment before she shuts the door.
I meet his eyes again, so many things on the tip of my tongue. I know Mason trusts him with his life every time they go out on a job, and surely, he told Jax that Marley’s unique. I need to know my sister is safe before I walk away.
Reading my mind, Jax nods. “I’ll stay right here.” He pulls his hand from under his arm and points at the floor. “I’ll only go in if she cries out.”
Nodding my head, I glance at the shut door before I look at him again. As I turn away, he leans his back against the wall and slides down to the floor.