Chapter 28
The doorknob twisted, opening to reveal a smug but winded Beatriz panting in her doorway. Lips curled in victory, her sister nodded a breathless hello. One of Gage’s men appeared behind her, grabbing at the back of her neck, but without missing a beat, Beatriz threw her elbow back into his windpipe, never losing her smirk. The man gurgled and dropped to his knees behind her. One solid donkey kick from Beatriz and he was toppling down the stairs.
Elysia groaned and shoved her dagger back into its sheath, tossing it onto her bed. “One of these days I’m going to stab first and ask questions later, and then you’ll be sorry.”
She ducked past Beatriz, gaping at the now unconscious man sprawled awkwardly halfway down the stairs.
“Gage is going to be so pissed,” she muttered, slamming her bedroom door and leaving the man to his shame.
Beatriz just shrugged, her attention on Elysia’s dagger that she’d immediately picked up and was now sliding in and out of the sheath. “Not my fault he’s bad at his job.”
Elysia snatched her dagger back. “That’s not a toy, Beatriz.” She shoved the weapon beneath the waist of her trousers.
“My, my, you have even more secrets down there than most women.” Beatriz gave her a wink, lighting a fire in Elysia’s blood.
Hands latching onto her hips, she interrogated her older sister. “How did you even find me here?”
Beatriz flopped back onto the bed, arms going behind her head like she owned the place. Ignoring her younger sister’s question, her gaze slowly slid around the room, making obvious stops on incriminating items. The book on the undead gods. The discarded weapons casually strewn about. The juxtaposition of pretty dresses and leather leggings and training gear. Curiosity lit her gray eyes as they halted on the herbal tincture.
Elysia drew her attention back, snapping her fingers in front of Beatriz’s face. “I asked you a question. Do you even know whose house you broke into?”
Beatriz’s head rolled to the side, flashing Elysia with a grin.
Her eyebrows rose, giving Elysia a put-out look. “Of course, I know where I am. You said you trained with Kava’s Shadow. What you didn’t say was that you’re close enough with the man to sleep in his beds and eat his food. But Lily is very rarely wrong about these things. She says everyone needs people, even Parkers, and he’s yours.”
She went pensive, interlacing her fingers and looking back up at the ceiling. A hint of guilt touched her words, but she didn’t say anything else, just nodded like this Lily knew everything.
Elysia’s brow creased. “Lily? Oh, the Doorman’s name is Lily.”
Beatriz grabbed a small practice sword and swung it dangerously in Elysia’s direction, her shoulder dropping with the unexpected weight.
Elysia disarmed and admonished her sister in one smooth movement. “Stop touching . You’re going to hurt yourself.”
Unfazed, Beatriz plopped back onto the bed. “Don’t ever call her Lily. Or tell anyone she’s called Lily. She’d probably kill you.” She smiled with extra teeth.
Elysia sat down next to her sister on the bed, throwing up her hands. “Fine, I won’t call your girlfriend by her name. But I highly suggest that you’re gone by the time Gage gets home, so if you would just tell me why it is you’re here...”
Beatriz tilted her head, looking at Elysia like she was dense. The look was unfortunately a familiar one between them. Blinking, she sat up abruptly, her posture suddenly perfect and imposing.
“Mother is ready to send out the guards to bring you home. Your cute little note about traveling didn’t land well with mommy and daddy dearest.” Her gaze became shrewd, and her voice icy. “You made yourself indispensable and now you’re paying for it. It’s almost as if you should have left the fucking kingdom like everyone who cares about you advised in the first place.”
A rumbling chuckle filled the room, causing both women to whip their heads in unison. “So, this is the famous Beatriz.”
Gage took up the whole damn doorway, his hands grasping the top of the frame as he leaned in heavily. He lingered there with one brow raised as if he hadn’t snuck up on both of them like a lethal animal trapped in a man’s body.
Beatriz blatantly ran her eyes over Gage, not bothering to be polite. “Do you fuck people on the side then, or is that body just for killing?” She turned to address Elysia seriously. “Lily could use someone like him. She only has pretty boys. Needs someone more like that.”
Mortified, Elysia choked and failed to respond.
Immune to her sister’s discomfort, Beatriz continued giving her entirely unsolicited opinion, inspecting Gage like he was for sale. “You know, the whole I could kill you as easily as I fuck you thing really does it for some people.”
“Beatriz! You can’t just say things like that.”
Frowning, her sister looked at her with pinched brows. “I just did.”
Elysia grabbed a pillow, smacking her sister in the face hard enough to send her backward onto the bed. She held the pillow there and smiled. “Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.”
She released her hold on the pillow and Beatriz shot up, her silver hair a mess and eyes narrowed. Elysia’s chest quivered with silent laughter.
“He’s like family, Triz. Don’t be so gross.”
Gage froze for half a breath only to start laughing so hard that the entire door frame shook, his shirt straining as his arms and chest flexed.
Beatriz gestured again. “ See? That right there. Money maker.”
Elysia shut her eyes. “Please stop.”
“Don’t be such a prude, Lys. We all know what you and the prince get up to.”
“I’m a grown woman, you can’t make fun of me for having sex.”
“I mean, I can when it was with Topp Blatz.”
Gage cleared his throat, pausing their squabble. “Your sister is right, Elysia.”
She floundered. “Excuse you! I don’t comment on your sexual partners, and after being here for a month, I certainly could!”
Beatriz’s eyes lit. “Oh, do tell. What’s his type? I bet he likes the ones that’ll burn your house down. I can sense these things.” She glanced at Gage cursorily and nodded as if he had confirmed her suspicions.
Gage stared up at the ceiling, looking pained, and rubbed his face. “I meant about leaving Kava and your parents.”
“Oh, that.” Elysia looked down at her feet. “Right.”
An emotion that Elysia couldn’t place crossed his face. “The Raven Ball will be here before you know it, and you’ve been gone for almost two months, when you’ve never been given permission for more than a few days in the past. The prince has been lying for you, but it’s not working anymore.”
Frustration laced her words. “Why would he do that? I don’t understand that man. Yes, he tried to talk to me about my magic, and I avoided his attempts to communicate because I was terrified. But then he followed me! And got people killed, proving me right all along. I wish I could just have a conversation with him, which I know is insane, but I don’t understand what he’s doing.”
“But you haven’t spoken with him,” Gage prompted her.
Her voice went hard. “No, I haven’t. Before that night—I worked the market like usual. Topp showed up and he promised me I could trust him. My magic could feel it wasn’t true. Even if he wanted it to be the truth, it wasn’t. Between that and him leaving me to die while a bunch of innocent people got rounded up for slaughter, I don’t think there’s anything he could say to prove himself. Any conversation between us would just be sating my pointless curiosity.”
Beatriz got to her feet, hands grabbing her sister by the face. “Who cares, Elysia, who fucking cares? Never mind that lying carcass of a man and his motivations—just leave. Leave and save your own damn life.” She took a giant inhale, nowhere near done. “Forget about him. Forget about Mother and our blackmailing excuse of a father, and for the first time in your twenty-four years get your own damn life. A life that has absolutely nothing to do with secrets or politics or death. Go grow your flowers somewhere that actually has sun and soil that grows.”
Her sister’s face grew heated, but her eyes glimmered. A sudden coughing fit shook her frame, but she finished quietly once she was done. “Please Elysia, do not stay here. There is nothing but death. And whether it comes now or later, that is all there is for you in Relaclave.”
Elysia held very still, her heart beating rapidly in her chest. A tight pain encompassed her throat as Beatriz’s words sank in. She nodded, defeat filling her and pricking her eyes painfully. She stood and her fingers brushed over the tincture jar.
Voice breaking, she couldn’t manage to look Beatriz in the eye. “You’re right. There’s very little I’m proud of and endless things I’m ashamed of—that's why I was trying to do something different.”
Throat aching, her feet felt weighted to the floor. She glanced one last time at the tincture on her nightstand. It was a stupid plan, anyway. Kava was halfway in the grave and it wasn’t like a god was going to suddenly care.
“If you think you can actually get me out of here without me being dragged back to the castle, then fine. Book the ticket. Set it up. I don’t care.” Gage reached out to touch her shoulder as she walked out, but she evaded his touch, aiming for the staircase.
Ripping the cloak off the still crumpled, failed, and unconscious guard, Elysia flew down the steps and disappeared out the front door. A maelstrom of emotions crashed inside her, turbulent and unrestrained now that she was free from the prying stares of Gage and Beatriz.
She was well aware that leaving like this wasn’t mature for someone her age. But her thoughts beat against each other as if it were a battle to determine which would win, and if she stayed, it would only end in words better left unsaid.
The wind cut against her face as cold as her brittle insides. One strong gust and she would be dust. Huffing, she wrenched Gage’s front gate open and strode through, pulling up her hood. Uncomfortable with the warring guilt and self-loathing raging inside her, she reached for anger. She wasn’t sure her sister had intended to be manipulative. But it felt like she had preyed on Elysia’s obvious shame, reminding her of just how spineless she really was.
Maybe they would both always be a little fucked up. Doing their best to be different from how they were raised and still likely failing in some very important ways.
The thought made her feel ill.
Beatriz’s words rang like treason bells in her head. As if she didn’t know how much her life had been dictated by the whims and desires of those in power around her. As if it didn’t kill her every time she went against her own moral compass in order to appease the Crown. Elysia let out a dark laugh, throwing her head back to stare at the evening sky. Cold air stung her nose, cooling her temper as it blew by.
She felt like a coward. The second Beatriz cornered her—she had folded. She didn’t even believe Gage could smuggle her out, but she still hadn’t stood up for herself. Hands in her pockets, she kept her eyes up as if the answers were hidden amongst the faded stars. The moon stared back, wearing its usual gray veil, dulling the bit of light it might have offered.
Doubt raised its voice inside her. Because maybe she’s right. You let everyone push you around. You fuck everything up—there isn’t a chance in the realms you wouldn’t have failed. Who are you to do something like this?
A soot heavy cloud moved fully in front of the moon, stealing the last shard of evening light. It should have been someone like Mari who could dream travel. Someone worthy and capable.
Elysia pointed her feet in the direction of further self-destruction. Face uncovered, she walked with fast heavy steps, not really giving a shit if she was spotted. She supposed that would put a nasty kink in everyone’s plans to save her sorry ass.
The sour stench of Spirit Street hit her in the face like a brick. By the gods. Remind her to never venture over here in the summer if it smelled this bad during the cold season.
She found the Salty Rim as she’d last left it. Dirty, broken, but likely to outlast them all in its squalor and glory. Bursting in through the door, she felt eyes touch on her then bounce away in disinterest. Hair tossed into a windblown bun and dressed in a thick navy blue sweater with a pair of Gage’s old trousers belted on tight, she melted into the crowd just fine tonight.
Jessa watched her approach warily beneath strong brows. “What’s gotten into you?”
Throwing herself onto a stool, Elysia ignored her question. “Drink, please.”
“There’s blood all over your cloak.”
Elysia looked down and grimaced. The undead gods knew what that man had been up to before returning to Gage’s house. Not that it took a lot of imagination to guess with that amount of blood soaked into the wool.
Elysia wrenched it off, grumbling. “Who wears a light gray cloak to kill people?”
Jessa stared openly for half a breath before finally muttering that she didn’t want to know. Reaching down, she grabbed a bottle of Kava’s cheapest gin. Its real name was Sonder’s Gin, but everyone just called it Sap because not only did it taste and smell like pine, the burn stuck to your throat long after your drink was gone. She poured two tumblers and held one out.
“You look like the trash I normally kick out of here.”
“Your tavern looks like it's one bad day away from collapsing. Somehow I don’t think my bloody cloak is going to be what ruins the ambiance.”
Jessa’s eyes narrowed, and she bent her fingers expectantly. “Payment. Now.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Elysia dug around in her pockets until she found a few loose coins. Slapping them down into Jessa’s palm, she picked up her drink with her other hand and chugged. Eyes squinting and face twisted, she fought off the cough trying to escape from her mouth. “ Fuck . How does that shit get worse every time I drink it?”
Jessa smirked, walking away to help a few patrons at the other side of the bar. While she was gone, Elysia grabbed Jessa’s drink, throwing it back and choking a little as it went down. Eyes watering, she cursed.
Walking back over, Jessa spotted her empty glass and stared at Elysia incredulously. “Seriously? You’re being more annoying than usual.”
Elysia shrugged. “Yeah, well, bad news. The plan’s off.”
Jessa’s eyebrows drew together in anger. “Do you have any idea how many favors I pulled to get us that meeting with the meela?”
Throat still burning, Elysia snorted and spun around on her stool to watch the locals. Faces smudged with dirt and soot, she knew they’d all spent the day working hard while frozen to the bone and breathing in Relaclave’s noxious air. And yet they still managed to laugh and rib each other over glasses of alcohol that set fire to their bellies.
“I’m fucking talking to you, Parker.”
Elysia turned back around slowly. Aggravating Jessa was as easy as pissing off her sister. She looked up dryly. “And?”
Jessa closed her eyes, mouth moving as she silently counted to ten.
“Does that actually work for you? The counting?”
“Listen here, you sniveling Crown brat, we had a deal and you’re not backing out now just because you’re scared. Grow up and keep your word.”
“Can’t. Decided I’m leaving.” She waved a hand in a circle above her head and pulled a face. “Take a look around, Jessa. Do you really think this is worth dying for? I don’t. So, I’m not going to, sorry.”
Jessa’s mouth was half open, ready to fire back when she paused, comprehension dawning. She grabbed the Sap and poured herself a fresh glass. Taking a sip, she wiped her mouth and stuck a finger in Elysia’s face as she started back in. “Motherfucker. You almost had me. But, nope. Not buying it. Whatever this is, it's bullshit.”
Godsdammit . She dug her heels in. “Doesn’t matter what you think. Either way, it’s off. I’m leaving.”
Lips pressed tight, Jessa leaned over the bar, dark hair swinging. Her voice lowered, its natural rasp harsh as she shone a light on everything Elysia hadn’t said.
“Let me guess, someone got in your face, pressed on all the right places and now you’re just giving up. Gods, are you even capable of making a decision for yourself? Or have you been a puppet for so long that you don’t even know how?” Her disgust was audible.
Elysia bathed in the shame Jessa willingly poured over her. It was almost heady to hear someone voice aloud the terrible things she knew about herself. Bittersweet confirmation rolled through her, ripping open every old scar and wound. Worthless. Stupid. Spineless.
Jessa’s voice got louder, angry that she wasn’t taking her bait. “So, what changed? Who’s pulling your strings now, Elysia? Because I know this isn’t what you want. Who is it this time, huh?”
Elysia’s mouth was moving before she could stop herself. Her words were fast and voice louder than she would have liked. “It never would have worked! Some half-baked plan from a tavern owner and the Crown’s favorite fool? As if we could steal Kava’s magic back from a god .”
She laughed wildly, shaking her head.
Jessa’s smile ate up her whole face, her catlike eyes sharp as ever. “Why’d you come here then? Did you think I was going to pat your back and feel sorry for you? Tell you that it’s okay? Poor, Crown bitch. Poor, poor baby.”
She pointed at the door. “You want to leave? Then get out of my damn tavern and don’t come back until your head is on straight. I am not the one to come to with your whining bullshit. People are dying, Elysia, and they will keep dying unless something is done. But go ahead, run off.” A note of disappointment tempered her anger.
She grabbed a cloth and began to polish the bar roughly. “As if the prince or your father wouldn’t find you wherever you went.”
Nodding silently, Elysia inhaled the poison of Jessa’s words, making sure to feel each and every bit of the pain. She stood, pushing away from the bar, and looked Jessa dead in the eyes.
“You’re right. But I’m a spineless, selfish Crown bitch. What else did you expect?”
She snatched the bottle of Sap off the bar and threw down the rest of her change.
“For your trouble.” Crown oil oozed from her words, and she grinned at the snarl on Jessa’s face.
And then she swept out of the bar like a queen with her disgusting cloak and shitty bottle of gin in tow. Beatriz wasn’t the only person in this family who could do a bender. She could still hear Jessa shouting obscenities as the door slammed shut behind her.
Weaving through the streets of Relaclave, she tugged the wool cloak tighter around her body. She wasn’t sure if it was the cloak, the bottle that she swigged, or her general attitude that was keeping the people at bay, but no matter what street she took, everyone was giving her a wide berth. Aimless, she’d walked far enough that the desecrated temple of the god of death was in sight.
She stalked forward, stopping to stare up at the ruins. Giant hunks of stone littered the raised concrete platform. Covered in her home’s trademark soot, only the barest hints of white peeked out through the grime. She remembered Rollie telling her the stones had once been a giant skull, large enough to house priestesses and worshippers at once.
Polishing off the last of the gin, she lifted the bottle overhead and flung it at the stone ruins. The glass burst, the sound loud against the silence of the night. “FUCK YOU, YOU USELESS, THIEVING?—”
“Excuse me.”
There was a tug on her cloak. Elysia turned to find a small girl with dirt-brown eyes looking at her in displeasure.
“ What ?” She gestured at the temple, glaring down at the child. “Kind of busy here.”
Gods, it felt good not to care. Was this what it felt like to be Beatriz? She’d really been missing out.
The girl rolled her eyes. “You were supposed to be at the Salty Rim. I’ve been trying to find your drunk ass for an hour.”
She held out a letter pinched between two fingers, clearly not wanting to get any closer to Elysia than necessary. Elysia couldn’t even pretend to be offended. She was drunk, covered in blood, and screaming like a raving lunatic at a bunch of rocks.
She grabbed the letter. “Thanks so much.” She smiled with false sweetness.
The messenger just shook her small blonde head. “Whatever, lady.”
Elysia watched the kid run off, waiting until she was alone to rip open the letter. Climbing up onto the platform, she found a chunk of skull to plant her ass on.
There was no message. Only an address and time in bold, unfamiliar script.
721 Hawking Street. Ten o’clock.
Elysia flipped the paper around, checking the back and front, wondering if the alcohol had congealed her brain, but sure enough there was no further message or name to be found. The address rang a bell in her mind, but with the alcohol slowing her recall, she couldn’t place why it was familiar.
As she stared at the note, a sly whisper curled in the air. Go , it said. The voice sounded hazy, the pull of it warm and enticing.
Paper crumpled in Elysia’s fist. She knew better than to listen to her magic. But you know, she’d never had a bender before. Rarely even got proper drunk. Not that she was drunk now. Obviously not. I’m sober as a bird. A burst of laughter fell out of her. She clapped a hand over her mouth, still giggling. She was always too busy being responsible and being bossed around by her father to let loose. She deserved this. Gin pulled apart the last strands of her logic until she walked right through the hole it left behind.
Elysia stood. Eyes roaming over the scattered remnants of the temple, her thoughts drifted to its deity. He’s probably old and gross and useless like every other ruler, anyway. She made a face, talking to herself aloud. “The last thing I need is another decrepit pervert in my life.”
Shoving her hands into her trouser pockets, she forgot about gods who no longer mattered and pointed her toes in the direction of 721 Hawking Street.