Chapter 29
A rush of anticipation mixed with alcohol and greedy magic pushed her along with a lightness to her steps. Cobblestones flew beneath her and creamy buildings blackened with dirt surrounded her while black iron lamp posts lit her path with their signature smokey glow. She ran her fingers over the building closest to her, liking how it darkened her fingertips. She loved the filthy beauty of the south side. At least it was honest.
The rational, life preserving part of her tried to argue that she should just go home. It was late. She was drunk. And this was a terrible idea. But any remaining logic had been soaked in Sap and was no match for the magic rearing up within her.
What had started as a whisper now sang into her ear. All she could hear was the song of the secret crumpled in her fist. It was strong enough now she didn’t even need the address. Not with the weight of the secret yanking like a sharp metal hook inside her chest. This secret’s song was not a pounding drum or storm crashing against her skin. No, it came in softly, teasing her and drawing her near with its familiar sound. Its clever, tantalizing melody ran up her skin like calloused fingers she couldn’t forget.
Her skin dimpled at its touch as she wound through the streets like she wasn’t a wanted woman. Between the alcohol and the secret pulling her close, she could have walked for miles and never felt the distance pass beneath her feet. The song came to a lull and Elysia came to, realizing she was in front of her favorite restaurant, the Boar’s Bones. No wonder the address was familiar. She stepped back into the alley beside the restaurant, moving out of the dim streetlight and away from wandering eyes. Tossing the bloodied cloak next to a pile of rotted food, she shivered from head to toe. While her outfit may have helped her blend in at the Salty Rim, it wasn’t going to do her any favors at the Boar’s Bones.
Delicious aromas drifted out of the cracked kitchen windows, and Elysia inhaled, wishing she were here to eat like any other normal person. She peered at the restaurant’s back door, wondering what secret pulled her here, of all places. As she bounced from foot to foot, the cold brought a small dash of clarity to her thoughts. An image inside her head of the warm bed waiting for her back at Gage’s had her reconsidering her actions, but thinking of Gage only made her think about being shoved like cargo onto a boat she didn’t want to be on.
One last night to do whatever she wanted in Relaclave.
She smiled. Chasing after secrets that didn’t belong to her was both what had built her and what had ruined her. She couldn’t think of a better way to spend her last night in the decaying city she loved.
She would be on a ship tomorrow no matter what happened tonight. She could do anything, and Gage would still shove her below the deck and tell the ship’s men that she was just a fat goat in a sack. Maybe if she was lucky, he’d even pull out her personal favorite threat she had ever heard him utter. “ Keep your mouths shut or I’ll stuff them with your dicks .” Dramatic but effective.
The secret taunted her again. Elysia leaned against the alley wall, her sweater catching on the rough plaster. The hook in her chest was back, persistent as it ripped against her ribs, demanding she give in and give chase. She looked at the door, her feet already moving and hand reaching.
Cool metal bit her skin as she pressed down on the door lever. Once inside, a swell of heat billowed out of the kitchen to envelop her. The cold still clung to her, a shiver racking her body after being outside for so long. Muted sounds of chatter and laughter layered over the clinking of forks and knives met her ear. Sounded like a typical evening at the Boar’s Bones.
She suddenly had the fleeting fear that her parents could be sitting at one of those tables. The thought triggered a ridiculous and unstable hiccup of a laugh. Clamping her lips shut, she tried to see through the small circular window on the door leading to the dining room. Her mother would die if she could see her now.
Slipping down the servers’ hall, she found the narrow entrance to the staff-only staircase to the upper level of the Boar’s Bones. She paused momentarily, staring into the shadows with trepidation. Dark and narrow with shallow steps was a dangerous combination for an alcohol and magic addled woman. Swinging herself around the bend in the stairs, Elysia sprang along the steps like a drunk cat.
Pausing at the top, she breathed out a wordless thanks to whoever was listening. The balcony level was empty, tables cleared and candles blown out. Creeping into the shadows, she stayed low and out of sight. Thick, wooden balustrades blocked the people down below from seeing both her and most of the tables. Yet anyone eating on the upper level would still have been able to gaze down, people watching as they enjoyed their meal.
Crouching down, she scanned the room through a wide crack in the wood. For a moment her magic flared, pulling her attention in every direction. The dining staff eavesdropping. The couple pawing at each other in the coat closet. Two men growing louder as they argued about money.
But none of those were what stopped her heart.
An easy deep laugh trickled past her ears and with it Elysia’s blood rushed up her face, making her cheeks and ears burn. Nostrils flaring, her eyes moved fast, searching for the guilty party. That fucking asshole.
And there he was.
Leaned back and relaxed.
Engrossed in some tantalizing conversation with a beautiful woman Elysia had never seen before at her favorite table. The warmth of the oil lamp chandelier created sensuous shadows that danced across their forms. Elysia barely paid the woman any mind, though. How could she while her heart caught and fractured on the light playing against his green eyes? How he suddenly leaned forward in one fast motion, fingers pressing into the woman’s thigh as if she were the only thing he could see.
When she looked back at this moment, Elysia would say that she really hadn’t meant to do it. She was sure some vengeful spirit had overtaken her body. Probably Beatriz’s, if she was being honest. Seemed like something she might do. But it was her own hand that ripped the blade out and let it fly straight over the balcony’s edge as if she truly were the sister of Kava’s Shadow.
The blade shattered the thin glass that the prince’s strong fingers were wrapped around and vibrated as it struck deep into the wooden table beneath. The woman screamed, her chair clattering to the ground as she threw herself back and away from the table. The rest of the restaurant seemed to inhale one last breath before their fear broke, and everyone was shouting and shoving to escape out the exits.
In the center of the chaos, the Crown Prince remained unmoving with smug satisfaction lifting the corners of his mouth. The cacophony slowed until the only sound was that of her blade now spinning between his fingers.
Elysia swallowed hard, ducking back beneath the privacy of the balustrades. Eyes glued to her dagger in his hand, she watched it glint as it spun around and round. I shouldn’t have done that. Why did I do that?
Her forehead hit against the wooden board. She should’ve run for it while the rabble threw chairs and elbows in their stampede for the door. Not a single soul remained in the dining room now besides the prince himself.
He was alone.
Someone had just thrown a dagger at the Crown Prince of Kava, and there was not a single guard throwing the bastard beneath a table to protect him or charging up the stairs to where the dagger had clearly been thrown from.
Elysia closed her eyes, fighting back her panic and instant disappointment in herself. Her magic was a fiend with no regard for her well-being. And she was a drunk, jealous idiot who walked with open arms right into the prince’s trap. He’d lured her the same as any of the creatures he trapped in the woods. And she’d fallen for it. She shook her head miserably, hating herself even more now that her foul behavior had led to this.
Amusement vibrated in the prince’s broad chest, the sound carrying up over the balcony to her ears. “Real shame for you that I’ll have to keep the dagger. Only seems fair, considering you tried to kill me.”
Elysia snorted, shaking her head. As if she would ever try to kill him. As if she would miss. She’d aimed perfectly even if he didn’t believe it. Reaching up, she slapped her hand onto the rough wood and pulled herself up. Dizzy from the too fast movement, she grabbed on with both hands, swaying a bit on her feet.
The prince’s brow quirked as he took in her rumpled and unsteady appearance. “Bad night?” His eyes stuck on her much too large trousers. “Do I even want to know whose those are?”
She smiled sweetly. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” Let him think she was fucking someone else. See how he liked it.
The prince’s eyes narrowed. “Are you going to come down here, then? I’d say you at least owe me a conversation.”
Her fingers gripped the wood tighter. “I owe you a conversation? That’s rich.”
His jaw tensed. Stepping closer to the balcony and into the light, he tried again. “Fine. We both owe each other a conversation.” He paused, looking strained. “Please, Elysia, can you just not be difficult this once?”
Elysia threw her head back and laughed. Her body flowed back then forward with the sound, draping itself over the balcony’s edge. “Me? I’m the difficult one? Oh, you are funny, Prince.”
She swung her legs over and let herself slide right off the balcony, landing softly on her feet with only the slightest wobble. Her head spun, but she closed her eyes until it passed. She would not be vomiting again.
The prince stood mere steps away, emotions flitting through his eyes.
Awe. Longing. Anger.
She stood, slinking over to a table and leaning against it. Suddenly hot, she shoved up the thick, heavy knit sleeves of her sweater. The room slanted, but she ignored it, keeping her eyes on the prince. Exhaustion kept bleeding in, making her feel fuzzy and heavy all at once. If I’m not going to sleep, then I need another drink.
Blowing past the prince, she sauntered to the empty bar, making sure to give his shoulder a solid knock as she swept past. He followed on her heels now, his hands shoved into his pockets.
She found a bottle of wine, tugging on the cork until it popped free. Elysia watched the prince’s mouth twitch as the wine glugged softly, pouring out into a glass. Bringing the glass to her mouth, she finally snapped. “What? Having a laugh at how easily you played me this evening?”
A full grin broke across his face, one hand brushing against the stubble peppering his chin. Green eyes filled with mirth, he stole the wine out of her hands, taking a sip for himself. “I didn’t think there was a chance in all the realms you’d fall for it.”
Elysia looked at him darkly. “My fucking magic fell for it just fine.”
Sarcasm entered his tone. “Right. The magic.”
“Yes, the magic.” Her expression dared him to contradict her.
“Definitely has nothing to do with the fact that you smell like you rolled around in a bottle of gin all night.” His face went pensive. “I think the last time I saw you even close to this drunk was at your mother’s birthday party last year. Remember that one, Lys?” His lips lifted with suggestion.
Any possible embarrassment had died several drinks ago. Instead of flushing like she normally would have at his insinuations, she looked him square in the eye with a smirk. “Must not have been memorable for me.”
A gleam entered his eyes. “Whatever you need to tell yourself.”
Keeping her in his sights, he stalked behind the bar, making her heart race.
Low and deep, his voice washed over her, tugging at her just the same as her curse. “ I remember everything about that night.”
Her hackles rose at the sight of his body blocking the exit. She cut him a brutal look.
“Just stop. Stop your playing. Stop your flirtations. Stop pretending.” She pushed a final sort of severity into her voice. “Whatever we had died when you left me to do the same.”
A flash of guilt had him pausing. “You know that isn’t what I intended. Nothing went right that night. I never wanted anything to happen to you.”
His hand moved as if it wanted to reach out to touch her, but she automatically stepped back, bumping against a stack of glassware.
Her voice became as cold as the winter sea. “Your intentions left me damn near dead and killed innocent people.”
Face devoid of emotion, he answered. “I’m well aware.”
Breath short and heavy in her chest, she pinched her eyes closed and shook her head as if that would do the trick. “Either kill me, or let me go and forget my name. I will haunt you past the grave if you turn me in to your father and his men. I swear to the undead gods, I’ll find a way to do it. I will not be put on display in the square like?—”
“Like all the ones you sent there yourself?” He gave a sad laugh when her eyes shot to his. “We’re more alike than you want to admit.”
“I was exploited. ”
“You’ve had a choice for a long time now, Lys.” His now harsh stare tore out the foundations of the stone walls she had built up around her choices. Walls that allowed her to carry on living in spite of the terrible decisions she’d been forced to make. Green eyes bore down on her. “You haven’t been a child for years. No one can fault you for choosing your life over theirs, but you have the choice to do it differently now.”
Hot tears threatened to break free. His words made her feel sick. Because he was right.
Warm palms cradled against her face. “I will do everything I can to keep you safe. Just tell me your plans—I know you’ve got something up your sleeve. Even if you hate me, I swear to you, I will not make the same mistake twice.” His words brushed against her skin, soft and gentle.
A single, unbidden tear rolled out. Blinking back the emotion, Elysia pried his hands away. She shook her head, frustration stealing her eloquence.
“No.”
She barged past him, trying to find the words. He didn’t follow her this time. She stared at him once there was enough space between them that she felt safe again. Her eyes stayed on her feet.
“You don’t get to judge me, Prince. You were my light. My single good thing in this life and you left me for dead.” Jagged and sharp, she threw each word like a javelin. Her heart went numb as she brought her eyes to his. “Whatever you’re trying to achieve, I don’t care. If we’re alike, then I feel sorry for you—because that means you gave yourself away long ago, and I’m not sure there’s redemption for people like us.” Bleak and terrible, she meant every blackened word.
The wide angles of his face gave away nothing, and she hated it. She wanted her words to pierce his heart and shatter the courtly mask he now wore to hide himself from her. Arms crossed, he didn’t shirk away from her condemning words or gaze, though.
“I will lose myself a thousand times over to save this land,” he answered slowly.
A bitter laugh fell out of her. “Oh, you’re a hero now? Is that it?” She gave a little clap, the sound echoing in the empty room. “People fall like bloodied leaves while you just taint that precious soul. It’d be poetic if it wasn’t such utter shit.”
The corner of the prince’s eye twitched and a flash of satisfaction flitted across Elysia’s face. His fingers clenched once, then twice. Offering him a dark smile, she leaned back against the table behind her. “If you were so interested in saving this kingdom, then you wouldn’t have led your dogs to the one group of people who might have done something.”
The prince looked away, then back at her, his green eyes flashing with specks of light. “I know you’ve been working with the rebel women who survived, and I want to help .”
She grabbed a steak knife, weaving it between her fingers before snatching it by the handle. “And why would the Crown Prince care? A broken kingdom is easy to control, and you’ve never seemed to care before.”
“Did you ever stop and think that maybe I told you as little as you’ve told me?”
The knife clattered to the table, and a pang ricocheted in her chest. It was hypocritical of her to be hurt by his lack of disclosure. But the heart minds its own logic and his words stuck into her like the sharp end of betrayal.
She cleared her throat. “And it appears I was right to withhold. Why are you folding now? I have nothing to give you.”
The prince took three long strides, stopping once he was close enough to stare down into her face. “I want to know what you know. About magic disappearing. I want to know what your plan is, and I want to help.”
“You’re too late.”
The prince kicked at the chair closest to him, sending it flying. He loomed over her now, frustration sharpening his face. “That’s bullshit. I know damn well when you’re up to something, Elysia.”
She leaned into him, her words rolling past his ear. “There’s no plan. I’m leaving tomorrow. Sailing far, far away from here.” She let her back arch as she reached her arms wide. Body snapping forward, she tapped him on the nose. “And you!”
His face tightened and he shook his head, his voice coming out rough. “No, you’re not going anywhere. This is our home, and the Elysia I know, the woman who is clever and infuriating and as reckless as she is dangerous, would not be bullied out of it. I don’t care who’s been whispering in your ear to leave. They’re wrong and they don’t know shit about what’s going on.”
Fresh tears returned to her eyes, but she warbled out a final answer. “There is nothing more to know. If I stay, I die sanctioned by the Crown you wear on your head. Whether it’s tomorrow or a year from now. I guess I’m not as sanctimonious as you because I’m not ready to die.”
His fingers slid against the nape of her neck, up into her hair, forcing her eyes to him. His words were hard. “No, I am standing here offering you my help, and you are not listening . I realize I fucked up and it will never be forgiven. I can live with that. Hate me, despise me—that’s fine. But right now, our goals are the same. You want a Kava in which you can be free, and so do I. The woman I knew was fearless in spite of having every reason to be afraid. She walked through the castle with magic in her fingertips and waved to the king who would have her dead. She fucked the prince and made him love her so that she could wield his crown. And now you run? You run when you can finally do something that matters?”
She stopped. In spite of not knowing her plans, he knew exactly what to say. Green eyes beat down on her like a summer storm as he waited for a response that wasn’t coming. He released her neck and she stumbled.
“Perhaps you are tormented by secrets because you refuse to hear the truth.” He walked away, crunching over the broken glass. “Good luck running, Parker. Somehow, I doubt you’ll get far.”