16. Lizzie
16
LIZZIE
Cameron’s lips just touched mine and I feel like I’m floating. It has to be a dream because this can’t be happening in real life. Especially after the past twenty-four hours. I mean, the mixed signals from this man are giving me whiplash.
I just experienced the worst date of my life, if I can even call it that since we never sat down at a table. I got ditched by Brian before the date even started, which was a relief, but I was also beyond embarrassed since it all played out in front of Cameron.
So how did we get from there to here?
How has my night turned into me sitting next to Cameron in his truck, him complimenting me, expressing his feelings for me, and then kissing me?
Did he kiss me though? Did that even count as a kiss? Shouldn’t there have been more pressure and contact for it to be an actual, proper kiss? It felt like more of a graze. A peck.
Damn it, I want more.
“What are you overthinking in that head of yours?” Cameron asks, bringing me back to reality.
“Why didn’t you kiss me? Like, really kiss me?” I ask, needing to get to the bottom of this. No more games. Just blunt questions and honest answers.
“Because I didn’t want our first kiss to be because of everything else that happened on this weird, fucked-up night. I want it to be after you’re finally convinced that there’s something going on between us. That it’s not one-sided. Because no matter how hard I try, I can’t get you out of my head, Lizzie.”
“Why are you trying so hard to get me out of your head if you’re supposedly interested in me?” I ask, turning to face him.
“I have too much on my plate right now, Lizzie. My dad just died, my divorce just got finalized, and I’m full-on renovating my house in the middle of corn season. And let’s not forget, I have two little girls who depend on me for everything. I’m both mom and dad to them now, and I can’t fuck that up. They’ve been through enough, and they need to come first.” He takes a deep breath, and I see the turmoil in his eyes. “I’m not capable of giving you the happily ever after you’re looking for and deserve, Lizzie, and I don’t even know if I have it in me to be just a fuck buddy. It would be selfish of me to pursue this…” He runs his hands through his hair and lets out an exasperated sigh. “But I can’t stomach the thought of you with anyone else.”
My stomach is doing backflips, and I’m pretty sure my eyes are huge at the words fuck buddy . For the hundredth time since the moment in the kitchen, I’m wondering if I should come clean about my lack of experience. If I should let him know that I ran out on him not just because I didn’t know how to act but because I felt like I was in way over my head.
“I mean, I’m jealous of any guy who looks at you, even though I know I have no right to be. I want you all for myself, even though I can’t promise you anything. All of it makes me feel like an asshole. And I’ll never forgive myself if I break your heart, Lizzie.” He reaches across the console and runs his very large hand up my thigh. “But I can’t fucking resist you.”
I’m frozen in place. I don’t know if he’s expecting me to tell him to finally pursue me or let me go. Because I know what my answer is.
I do know that when his hands are on me, I feel like I’m on top of the world, and no one ever made me feel like that. I told Lia I wanted a spark—this is a whole inferno. He makes me feel beautiful and wanted, and I’m done running. I can’t deny the attraction and connection between us, and I don’t want to.
So, I make a decision that scares the hell out of me and is exhilarating all at once. I place my hand on top of his, and he laces our fingers together.
“Don’t resist me then. I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give.”
His eyes are intense as he keeps taking big breaths like he’s trying to calm himself down. After a minute, he finally speaks. “Tell me you’re sure, Lizzie. Because we’re only ever going to be friends with benefits. That’s it. That’s all it can ever be for me. And I want?—”
“I’m sure, Cameron.”
“No, no. You’ve got to think about it longer. Take a couple of days and we’ll talk about it again. Okay?”
He seems almost desperate in the way he’s asking this of me, and I realize he really cares. I understand he needs to be careful, and a couple of days will probably be good, but I’m also frustrated.
So, knowing I’m acting like a petty schoolgirl but unable to help it, I shake my head, straighten myself in the seat, and say, “ Fine. ”
“Fuck it.” That’s all he says before he reaches out and grabs the side of my neck, pulling him to me, before he slams his lips against mine. I move my hands to his chest to steady myself against the delicious onslaught. He runs his tongue along the seam of my lips, and I let him in. His breath is minty and fresh. Being able to finally touch him is intoxicating, and I never want it to end. As he deepens the kiss further, I let out a small moan, which only seems to encourage him. His hand on my thigh moves further up between my legs as his other hand wraps around my head to fist my hair. I’m ready to unbuckle this fucking seat belt and jump onto his lap when, as quickly as it started, he moves away.
My hand is still fisting his shirt, and we’re both breathing heavily. I felt the way he wants me, but my brain is starting to freak out and telling me maybe I did something wrong.
“I need to take you home, Lizzie.” He runs his hands through his hair and then down his face before taking my hand and kissing it. “Two days. Think about everything. In the meantime, let’s keep things how they’ve been. No pressure.”
“Right. Yeah. Okay.” I take a deep breath as well and move back into my seat. “I’ll think about it all.”
Cameron looks at me, and like he’s able to read my mind, he adds, “Believe me, Lizzie, I didn’t want to stop. My dick is as hard as a steel pipe right now and driving with a hard-on is gonna be tricky.”
I laugh in return, feeling super turned on and a little crazy but also lighter than I have in a while. When I’m with Cameron, things just feel right and easy, even if they are a little complicated.
“Alright, let’s get out of here before I ignore everything I just said and start kissing you again.”
He reaches down and adjusts himself before buckling his seat belt. The bulge he’s sporting is leaving little to the imagination, and I can’t help but stare. My tongue comes out to wet my lips and he clears his throat.
“Keep looking at me like that, Lizzie, and I’m going to find a place to park somewhere so I can show you exactly what you do to me.”
“I kind of like looking at you though. And don’t threaten me with something I want. That won’t work.” Part of me feels embarrassed that I just blurted that out, but the other part is turned and ready for him to have his way with me.
“You’re trouble, Lizzie Montgomery. So much trouble.”
He starts the car and then begins to drive for a couple of minutes before pulling into the drive-thru of a burger joint.
“This by no means makes up for the meal you would have eaten at Crest Steakhouse, but I need to feed you and myself without giving everyone in town a peek at what you do to me. So here we are. I still owe you a fancy dinner, though.”
I laugh. “Well, lucky for you, this place is my favorite, and I think fancy dinners are totally overrated.” I’m not even saying this to make him feel better. I really do prefer burgers and fries over just about anything.
We order our food through the speaker and then park with our bag full of fried goodness and eat in the car. We fill the silence between bites with small talk like we do when we’re lying under the stars, and it’s easygoing and comfortable like it always is.
Nothing changed, and yet so much has.
Once we’ve finished our food, we pull out of the parking lot, and he reaches over and takes my hand in his. He never lets go once on the whole way home. It feels unreal, but the warmth of his hand and the beating of my heart remind me to enjoy this moment.
Not long after, Cameron’s pulling down our road and parking on the side of his house. I see his sister’s car parked out front, reminding me that Morgan is babysitting.
We’re obviously friends since we grew up together and are only a few years apart, but what would she think if she found out what her brother and I were discussing? Would she look at me differently? Would she approve of whatever this is?
I’m up in my head again as Cameron comes around to get my door, so I decide to stop overthinking the moment he helps me down and places a hand on the small of my back. I look down and smile. “Seems like your situation has sorted itself out.”
“And it’s going to become a harder situation again if you don’t stop. Didn’t I tell you not to stare?” He pulls me closer just as we hear the side door of his house open. We both turn toward the noise and find Morgan with her head popping out, as if she has a sixth sense or something.
“Hey, lovebirds,” she says with a huge smile on her face. “Interesting seeing you two come home together since you went out with different people tonight. Hm, how does that work?” Cameron groans and shakes his head. “By the way, Liz, I saw Brian pick you up earlier. He couldn’t even get out of the car and get the door for you? What an asshole.” She turns to Cameron and wiggles her eyebrows. “Am I right, Cam?”
He lets out an exasperated breath and appears to be gathering all his patience to deal with his little sister. “Yes, you’re right. Now go back inside and stop trying to stir up trouble. I know what you’re doing, Morgan.”
“Jeez, Cam, you’re testy and on edge. I guess maybe the food wasn’t that good?” she asks in a teasing tone. “Or maybe?—"
“I’m going to walk Lizzie home now, Morgan. I’ll be back in a few minutes,” Cameron says, interrupting her while gently pushing me forward.
“Take your time, you two. Good night, Lizzie. Can’t wait to catch up.”
“Good night, Morgan,” I shout over my shoulder as I hear her laughing under her breath as Cameron continues to put distance between us and his sister.
“My sister knows the exact buttons to push and when to push them. Be happy you’re an only child, Lizzie. Having siblings is not all it’s cracked up to be,” he whispers in my ear with a laugh, sending a chill down my spine and making me smile.
He keeps his hand on my lower back the entire way to my barn. When we get to my door, I turn to him, and he leans down, holding himself up with a hand on the door just above my shoulder.
“I’m going to kiss you good night, and then I’m going to watch you go inside and wait for you to lock the door. After that, I’m going to walk back home and listen to Morgan tease me about the obvious crush I have on you. After she leaves, I’m going to take a long shower and jerk off to thoughts of what I really wanted to do to you tonight. Sound okay?” he asks, and that’s it. My panties are soaked.
“Yes,” I say on an exhale since I was holding my breath the entire time he was talking.
“Good.” He descends on my mouth, and everything around me fades away. All I can feel and see and taste and hear is us. The kiss is even better than the one in the car because now he can press his body flush against mine, and I can wrap my hands around his thick neck and feel every hard inch of him. Every slide and plunge of his tongue against mine feels like a preview, and I can’t help feeling overwhelmed and excited and nervous all at the same time.
Cameron stops kissing me, causing a pitiful whimper to escape my lips. He leans his forehead against mine, and we just share each other’s oxygen for a minute while we both catch our breath.
“You’re going to be the death of me, Lizzie Montgomery. You have no idea what you do to me.”
“I kind of do,” I say, and since I’m feeling brave, I press myself against him. “I can feel what I do to you.”
He groans and grinds his cock into me once more before moving away and rubbing his hands down his face. “Like I said, you’re trouble. Go inside, Lizzie.”
“Okay, Cameron. See you in two days, then? Oh, um, and thank you for saving me earlier.” I turn around to unlock my door and step inside, flashing him one more smile before I close and lock it.
“Always,” I hear him say, and then the sound of his footsteps goes quieter and quieter until I can’t hear them anymore.
I can’t stop smiling as I go through my nighttime routine. I smile even harder as I send him a short message.
It feels like all my dreams might be coming true. It may not be a happily ever after. It’s just sex and friendship and fun. All I need to do is remember that as he makes me think about it for a couple of days while keeping things between us totally platonic.
Even though I’ve already made up my mind.