Chapter 32 – Lana #2
He chuckles. “Ask him then. See if I’m lying.” He walks up to me. “I would hate to see you get hurt, but if you’re going to be a dumb bitch, by all means, do whatever the fuck you want.” He goes into his trailer, slamming the door.
I am taken aback. Kai isn’t a rapist. I think I would know that. Tina has always been obsessed with him. I feel myself starting to panic. I take deep breaths in and out to calm myself. I can’t be having a panic attack right now. Not when I need to talk to Kai in a bit.
I walk around the park, I try to avoid Kai and Liam. I don’t want to think about either, one at this moment. I would rather be anywhere else if I am being completely honest.
I walk by an alleyway. I’m pulled into the darkness. “We have to stop meeting like this, Lana.” Kai smirks at me with his creepy ass scarecrow makeup, that has significantly gotten more and more scary the longer the park has been open.
I shudder. Since talking to Liam, I’m looking at Kai in a whole new light. I don’t want to look at him that way. I lean up against the wall. “Whatcha doing hiding in the dark alleyway? Shouldn’t people be hiding from you?” I ask.
He pulls a drag off of his cigarette and walks up to me. He blows the puff of smoke in my face. I snatch the cigarette out of his hand. “Well, well, Lana Voss smoking a cigarette. I never thought I’d see the day.” I roll my eyes and take a drag. I close my eyes and blow the smoke out.
“I used to smoke, Kai. You didn’t answer my question.” I pass the cigarette back to him. He waves the cigarette in my face. “I needed a nicotine break.” He responds and takes another drag. He offers me the cigarette.
I reluctantly take it. “The last drag? What a romantic you are, Kai.” I take my last drag and blow the smoke out. He takes it out of my hand and puts it out.
He puts his arm above my head and he grabs my waist with his other hand. “So, what do I owe the pleasure of your company?” He stares me down with bright yellow sclera contact lenses.
I look up at him. I lose my nerve. He smirks at me. “Don’t tell me that I rendered Lana Voss speechless.” I kiss him. He kisses me back. He pulls me closer to him. I close my eyes. I feel his erection press into me. I pull back, opening my eyes.
He grins at me. “Scared of an erection?” I meet his eyes. “No, I’m scared of what I feel for you.” I confess. He looks me up and down. “You can’t say things like that to me. I will bend you over and take you right here in this alleyway. I don’t give a fuck who sees.” I suck in a breath.
He steps closer, close enough that the air between us felt claimed. “What’s it going to be? Now or later?” I swallow. “My apartment. After your shift. I’ll meet you in your trailer so we can car pool.” I shove his chest and retreat out of the alleyway. My nerves tingling. Fuck.
I didn’t realize my feelings for Kai ran so deep. I run my hands through my hair as I make my way back to the trailers. I turn back to see Kai run after someone, scaring the shit out of them. I can’t help but giggle. I run into someone, since I’m not watching where I’m going.
“Shit. I am so sorry.” The shirtless guy turns around. “Lana? What the fuck are you doing out here?” I step back. “Liam?” He shoots me a look. “Go back to the trailers.” He says and then walks away. I scoff.
I go ahead and continue walking towards the trailers. I decide I want to wait in Kai’s trailer, for the remainder of the guys’ shift. I can’t wait to see how this goes.
While waiting for Kai, I fall asleep on his bed, in the trailer. He pinches my foot, and shakes me awake gently. “Lana. I’m ready to go when you are, baby.” I sit up, stretch and then I get off the bed.
He grabs his things and turns the light off. I follow closely behind. Liam has his trailer lights on. He hasn’t left yet? That’s odd. Kai puts his arm around my waist and leads me out to his van. He opens the door for me.
I climb in and he shuts the door behind me. I settle in, buckle up and sit my canvas bag on the floor of the van. He climbs in, after throwing his backpack in the back of the van.
We drive forty-five minutes back to my apartment. Most of the ride is silent, but it’s not quite as awkward. Kai doesn’t try to touch my thigh. I don’t know if I could handle the close proximity if he did.
We make it to my apartment complex. He follows me to my apartment. I unlock the door and let him in. “Make yourself at home, and get comfy. We have a lot to discuss.” I go to the fridge and pull out two beers.
I walk back to the living room. He grabs one of the beers from my hand. I sit on the couch. He sits on the coffee table. He starts first. “I thought something was wrong when you told me to leave.” He says.
I hesitate but take a deep breath. “At that moment, I thought I had made up my mind…. that I shouldn’t see you anymore.” I say. He shakes his head and starts chuckling, low at first.
“And you thought what, Lana? That you were just going to uproot your life without a word? Were you hoping you’d forget about me? Cause I sure as hell didn’t forget about you or how we were supposed to move away from this hellhole together.” He runs his hand through his shaggy hair.
Something I’ve only see him do a handful of times. It puts me on edge when he does that. Kai gets… unpredictable. “Yeah, well, it’s not my fault I’m so helplessly in love with you. I can’t let you the fuck go, even if I wanted to.” He says.
“If I had known you were going to leave me to go to Seattle, I would’ve stopped you, Lana. You know that. Is that the reason you didn’t tell me?” He stands there with his arms crossed, waiting for my reply.
I stare at him in shock. I didn’t tell him where I went. The words didn’t come out of my mouth. “How the fuck do you know where I’ve been the last five years, Kai?” I spit out. My heart starts to race. I didn’t tell anyone I went to Seattle. Not a single soul. So how does he know?
“It doesn’t matter Lana.” He says. I laugh.
I’m laughing because who the fuck does he think he is?
“Doesn’t matter? I’d say it does fucking matter, Kai.
I didn’t tell anyone I left. Not even Tina.
So how is it that you know where I went?
And how do you know I stayed there? That’s pretty fucking weird, Kai. ” I say.
Kai is silent for a moment or two. I stare at him, waiting for an answer. “Do you really want to know, Lana or are you just saying that so you can feel better about abandoning your life here?”
I cross my arms over my chest. “What the fuck does that mean? I want to know how you know I moved. Spill it or I promise you, you will never see me again.” I spit out.
He gets closer to me. I drop my arms to my side. “I followed you.” He said. My heart starts to race and I feel my ears ringing. He stalked me. Stalked. Me.
I push him away from me. “Get out.” I say as calmly as I can. “Lana.” He reaches for me. “I said, get the fuck out, Kai.” I push him again. He’s standing there breathing heavy.
“You need to calm down. You have no idea what was going on, Lana.” I go to shut the door. He kicks his foot out to stop me. “Don’t do this.” He pleads with me.
“You better tell me everything, Kai. I fucking mean it. I’m not playing around.” I say. I let go of the door and sit my ass down on the couch.
He shuts the door, follows me and leans against the wall next to my TV. “Well? Fucking speak. You want me to listen? I’m listening, Kai.” I say.
“Lana. Before I go any further, I need you to realize that I didn’t do this to hurt you, or scare you, or whatever you’re feeling.” He explains quickly before running a hand down his face. “Fuck. Where to begin.” He murmurs.
“How about we start the night I left?” I calmly suggest. He pales.
“What’s wrong, Kai? Don’t want to tell the truth?
” I mock pout. He sighs. “So the night you left…” He starts.
I wait expectedly. “…I left your house in the pouring rain. I went somewhere to clear my head.” He says.
I watch him fight with his lip piercing.
I haven’t been able to tell when Kai lies yet, but he’s definitely holding information back.
I cross my arms. “Get on with it.” I say.
“Well, after I cleared my head, I came back to your house. I was fixing to knock, but I saw you packing through the window. I stopped and watched you. I didn’t know where you were going. I wanted to know.” He says.
I close my eyes and sigh. “And you couldn’t be a normal person and still knock and ask me yourself?” I ask, opening my eyes to look at him. “No. Because I was in shock and I couldn’t allow myself to listen to you tell me, how you had to leave.” He says.
I rest my hands in my lap and watch him. “So you know why I had to leave or are you just guessing?” I ask. “Lana, I know something happened. I watched you pack and wipe your tears away. I watched you fall apart. And all I wanted was to hurt whoever hurt you.” He says.
“You can’t hurt a ghost.” I say, softly.
He looks at me. “What are you talking about?” He asks.
I sigh. “I lost someone… I felt I had no other option but to leave. I couldn’t let myself get attached again.
That night I left, was special, we had a moment but I wouldn’t let it get further than that.
Pushing you away was the hardest thing I could’ve done, but it was better than losing you. ” I say, tears gathering in my eyes.
He stares at me. “Who?” He asks. This time I’m the one fidgeting. “Blake… he died a couple months before I left.” I say. Kai looks at me. And for a moment he’s looking at me if I’m a stranger. “Blake Ellis?” He asks. I nod.
He clenches his fists. “Lana. How did you end up with that asshole? I ran into him at Kari’s party, him and his posse were saying very disrespectful things towards you.” He says.