DUKE, AKA EMBRACING DRAMA
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I’ve been restless since the engagement party. I ought to be relieved by how goofy Val behaved with Lola. He does seem to have a crush on her. She also seems genuinely interested in him. Their arranged marriage is starting to look like the beginning of something great for my daughter.
This fact should relieve some of my stress. Instead, I’ve gotten myself wound up on an unobtainable woman.
This angsty shit isn’t me. I don’t get attached. I’ve only had casual relationships since Kerrie. If a woman wanted more, we ended things. One time, I found out a girlfriend was cheating. I let that shit slide off my back and never gave her another glance. I refuse to embrace drama.
Yet, ever since I met Edith Mooney, I’ve been thinking up ways to run into her. Fuck, I nearly stopped by her family’s pot shop in Tumbling Rock to talk her up. Except doing anything so obvious would draw the attention of her father and the rest of the Rawkfist club.
I’ve always kept tabs on the Earlham-Sheerer-Bayer-Mooney-Mercer family especially when they hit up locations near the border of their territory and mine. One such place is Rock Hard Bar & Grill. The trendy spot is popular with middle-manager types. I’ve had a few dates there over the years. Rock Hard feels fancier than it is, and the rumor mill claims Edith hits up the place on a regular basis.
Last night, I found myself riding past and hoping to see her SUV. I told myself I was acting like a little bitch and needed to give up this chase.
Despite my self-lecture, I ride past the bar again tonight. I swear I won’t go inside if I spot her SUV. Except the second I notice the vehicle with its distinctive “Nurture Nature” bumper sticker, I pull into the parking lot.
I’m off my bike and at the front door before my brain clicks on. What the fuck do I think is about to happen?
My feet glue themselves to the bar’s entrance. People walk past me. I consider the logical reasons to turn my ass around and get going.
Edith Mooney is not a woman I can romance. There’s no enjoying her company for an allotted time and walking away without stirring up a hornet’s nest. This woman is about to become my in-law. I’ll see her at family functions, and the Bayer-Mooney-Mercer-Sheerer-Earlham clan seems to always be together. Instead of Lola’s dad or a friend of the club, I’ll become Edith’s asshole ex-boyfriend.
I’m halfway back to my ride when Edith’s face flashes in my mind. Back at the engagement party, I’d become intoxicated by her shiny blue eyes and full pink lips. I haven’t stopped thinking about her. Now, she’s inside, and I’m dying to get a peek.
Back at the entrance, I tell myself I’ll only walk inside and order a drink. If Edith is with someone—her family, a friend, a date—I won’t engage. If she’s alone, well, that’ll be more difficult to walk away from, but I’m well-known for my self-control.
Rock Hard Bar & Grill is seventy-five percent filled when I enter. I circle the place twice before I spot Edith alone at the bar. A pale blue baseball cap covers her long, smooth hair. My dick twitches at the memory of how sweet and clean she smelled at the party.
Once I catch sight of Edith alone, my plan to walk away is instantly gone. I decide she shouldn’t be alone in a bar filled with horny guys. Taking the seat next to hers will scare them away. I’m doing her a favor.
Edith glances at me, flashing a dirty look. I see the exact moment when she realizes I’m not one of the guys giving her “fuck me” eyes around the bar. Her hand quickly reaches up and tugs off the cap.
“Is something wrong?” Edith asks as she smooths out her silky hair.
“No, I come in here a lot.”
“So do I. That’s probably why I see you all the time.”
Ordering a beer, I smile at how Edith pokes at me like I can do nothing right. I look around the bar before focusing on the beauty at my side.
As soon as my gaze meets hers, Edith’s venomous nature clicks off. She stares into my eyes as if she can’t look away.
“Do you really come in here a lot?” I ask as I nurse my longneck and enjoy the view.
“Yes.”
“By yourself?”
“Usually, yes.”
“Why?”
“I’m hot to trot.”
I grin at her snide tone, even as her gaze drinks me in. “Are you packing protection?”
Edith’s gaze widens, and I know for a fucking fact her brain just went to sex. I hold her gaze and wait for her to understand. When she does, Edith rolls her eyes like I’m messing with her.
“I have weapons. My pa was a cop before he embraced his wild side,” she says and sips her daiquiri. Her gaze remains locked on me as she adds, “Plus, like my ma, I carry around two impressive guns.”
Edith tugs up her sleeve to show off her toned bicep. For a moment, her no-nonsense armor drops. I witness the sweet young woman who loves her parents, fruity cocktails, and Mother Earth.
I let my fingers slide across her bicep as if testing out her strength. Edith's gaze tells me she knows I’m feeling her up. We share a grin as I rest my hands flat on the bar top.
“Why are you out tonight?” Edith asks in a tender voice I could easily become addicted to hearing.
“I get restless at home.”
“Why?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Is it complicated or do you not want to talk about it?”
I grin at her bitchy tone. Her gaze remains soft, even if she sounds ready to slap me. I realize my reasons might not be complicated, but this woman sure is.
“I’m no longer a young man,” I admit, thinking about how foolish I’m behaving by chasing Edith. “I used to believe I knew what would happen next in life. Now, I’m not so sure.”
“Are you a control freak?” she asks. “I heard from someone that you’re a dictator.”
“Was it Tuesday?” I mutter. “And did she hear that from Cubby?”
“He’s a moron.”
“I know.”
“But you ride with him.”
“Doesn’t your dad ride with anyone you think is a moron?”
“Sure, plenty of them are morons. But they’re family.”
“And Cubby’s my family.”
Edith studies me and exhales softly. “That can’t be easy.”
I chuckle at her pitying tone. “No, not usually. It’s not all his fault. We live in a small town. At some point, a person looks around and asks, ‘Is this all there is?’ Nothing new to do. No one new to meet. Stuck in the same grinder you’ve been in for years. It can make a weak man restless and dumb.”
I feel like I’m talking about myself. Right now, with Edith’s scent making my cock hard and my heart soft, I’m likely to convince myself of many stupid things. Just like how Cubby convinced himself that he could start over with Tuesday in Florida.
Edith looks around the bar and then fixes her gaze on me. “Everyone at the homestead has found someone. Even my horndog cousins are loopy in love. They make it seem so easy, but like you said, we live small lives in small towns. We can either make do or we can move on to somewhere new.”
“Moving to Florida didn’t work for Cubby or Tuesday.”
“She was never going to stay there,” Edith mutters. “The humidity is too much for her hair.”
Chuckling, I fight the urge to kiss the splash of freckles across Edith’s tanned nose. Tuesday has them, too, but never once did I care one way or the other. With Edith, I can barely keep my hands to myself.
“I mentioned at the party how I’m thinking of moving to Arcadia.”
“Where’s that?” I ask, hiding none of my irritation.
“It’s a beach town down south. Do you know my cousin Rie?”
“Court’s youngest daughter?”
“Right. She married a hippie biker and moved with him to Arcadia. They live with his people in a big house. Court’s older daughter is staying down there, too. It’s a fancy town by the beach. There’s a fun town next door. Lots of opportunities for my Mister Right.”
Even knowing I told her leaving home was the right choice, I now gaslight us both by pretending those words were never spoken. “I thought you worked for your family.”
“I have an associate's degree. I could do bankroll anywhere. I don’t need to stay here.”
I stare into her eyes and see her laid bare. “But you want to stay here.”
Edith’s lips turn downward as she nods. “Arcadia is only a few hours away. I see Rie all the time. It wouldn’t be such a hardship, but I’d miss the homestead. I want to be around when my brother Ike’s baby is born. Oana used to be in the religious cult that runs around Tumbling Rock. She’s still getting used to being a normal person. It’d be selfish for me to leave her right now.”
Downing half my beer, I get that tight feeling in my chest again. Last time, I thought I was having a heart attack. I feel the same panic now when I consider Edith leaving West Virginia.
“You need to do right by your family,” I insist. “Your people are close.”
Edith doesn’t want to leave Tumbling Rock. I sense she hopes I’ll order her to stay. Yet, as soon as I tell her leaving is a mistake, her sad expression flips to irritation.
“Rie and Matilda aren’t the only members of my family to leave town. Their brother Felix lives in Tennessee half the year. My brother Otto is staying out of town to take care of his mother-in-law.”
“Is your brother coming back?”
“Are you asking as a rival club president or as a friend?”
“Am I your friend?”
Edith studies me and shrugs. “I don’t know. You were a dick at the party.”
“How was I a dick?” I mutter, choosing to remember the entire conversation going well.
“Well, someone was definitely a dick, and it wasn’t me.”
“I don’t remember it that way.”
“You probably don’t want to be viewed as a dick, so you’ve mentally rewritten situations to make yourself the good guy.”
Both hating and loving how she’s calling me out, I ask, “Did Tuesday say I do that?”
“Does that sound like something Cubby would tell her?”
“No.”
“Then, it’s all me.”
“Well, I don’t think I was a dick.”
Edith sucks down a mouthful of booze before turning to me. “I wanted to see if any of your men were worthy of my attention, and you became rude.”
“Maybe I didn’t think you were worthy of them .”
“That’s not it,” Edith mutters and waves off my comment. “I own a mirror. I know I have qualities.”
“Outer qualities.”
Frowning hard now, she leans closer and spits out, “I’m smart.”
Shrugging, I stare out at the crowd of people. “Never said you weren’t.”
“Are you making a dig at my personality?” she balks. “I’m lovely. I fill a room with positive vibes.”
When I turn my irritated gaze toward Edith, I find her smirking. “You are lovely.”
Edith loses her teasing smile and looks at me like I’m all she wants. When I see that need in her gaze, I can’t pretend she isn’t offering what I’m craving. Why can’t I kiss her and see where this ends up?
My family’s love curse feels stupid at times. Nothing is truly holding us back. We’re normal people. That’s what I want to believe, anyway.
Yet, none of the men who married Erin ever loved her. My mom made a good wife, but each of those men left her when they fell for someone else. Just like Kerrie ditched our marriage of convenience as soon as she met a guy who made her go silly inside.
I’m feeling a little silly myself as I admire Edith. Can’t I be selfish and enjoy whatever we can whip up together even if it doesn’t last?
My shoulders sag when I realize the answer is no. Even forgetting all the club shit and how Lola is marrying into Edith’s family, I can’t kiss this woman and enjoy her company. She’s made clear what she wants—love, marriage, and kids .
Wasting her time would be cruel, and I’m rarely a truly bad man. I can’t give Edith what she wants. She might not be able to see that right now. It’s not like she knows about the curse. Even if our relationship weren’t doomed, I’m forty-two. Do I want to start over with fatherhood? I’m having damn panic attacks about getting too old to protect my family and the club. Is that the behavior of a man ready for diapers and late-night teething?
“You’re not being a dick tonight,” Edith finally mumbles. “Maybe you weren’t at the party, either. I can’t see clearly when I’m on edge.”
Edith looks soft and sad, turning my common sense into a mere inconvenience. Kissing this woman right now would make us both happier. Only for a short time, but sometimes, that’s all a person needs.
“You shouldn’t consider leaving for Arcadia until Ike’s kid is born. Just to make sure he’s doing well before you start over somewhere.”
Perking up in reaction to my words, Edith hints at a smile yet says, “I can come back for the birth.”
“But you might have a busy life by then. Could be difficult to get back.”
Edith’s smile widens as she considers my very rational reason for her to stick around. Her gaze flashes behind me before she reaches for her ballcap. She slides it on and shoves her hand in her purse.
“Problem?” I ask, ready to punch anyone hassling her.
“No, I just shouldn’t be seen.”
“With me?”
Edith slaps a twenty on the bar top as her gaze locks on mine. “I appreciate you joining me. I often go out alone. In fact, tomorrow, I’ll be at Barkley’s Steakhouse in Uptown. I like their parmesan-crusted steak and espresso martini.”
As much as I don’t want her to leave, I appreciate how she’s setting up an opportunity to see her again. I pay my tab and walk her out. Edith doesn’t focus on anyone as we go, but I feel her on edge.
Standing next to her car, I fight the urge to kiss her goodnight. Edith lingers like she’s wondering what my lips taste like. We share an awkward moment before I step back and look around.
“An expresso martini sounds too foofy for my tastes, but that steak is right up my alley.”
Edith offers a great smile, and I realize I’ve agreed to a date.
As Edith drives back to Tumbling Rock, I suffer from a terrible urge to ensure she gets there safely. I have to stand in the parking lot for a good ten minutes to keep myself from tailing her. Once I’m sure I can control myself, I climb on my motorcycle and ride home to Basin Rock.
Nothing good can come out of our dinner date, yet I’m already dying to plant my ass across from her at the restaurant.