DUKE, AKA A MAN DODGING LADY QUESTIONS
––––––––
Years ago, Kerrie and I designed a five-bedroom, ranch-style home on a quiet piece of land in the Basin Rock woodlands. Erin built a home across the road, so she could help with the kids. When Kerrie left for her new life in Minnesota, our girls decided to remain here with me. Then, a year ago, Lola moved to a downtown apartment. Clover has shown no interest in following her sister out of the house.
Tonight, when I arrive home, Clover is already in her bedroom suite. I hear the TV playing quietly as I pass her door. A part of me wants to talk to her, just to feel normal. But I don’t trust I can keep my mouth shut about Edith right now.
In the unlit family room, I settle into my favorite chair and replay my evening. The quiet house feels accusatory. I don’t normally keep secrets. I’ve never run around with women I’d need to hide. Though I’m certainly not embarrassed by Edith, hiding her makes me feel as if she’s an ugly secret.
Despite running a criminal organization, I live a rather respectable life. I taught my guys to follow traffic laws and avoid unnecessary trouble. We weren’t thugs. The club was our family business. I didn’t allow sordid behavior in the Blood-Red Suns. Maybe I’ve always been soft.
Right now, I feel like an asshole for hiding Edith. I’m also stringing along a woman who deserves everything.
“Quit it,” I mutter to myself in the dark.
All this fussing over whether to end things now is pointless. There’s no way I’m walking away yet. I might even be able to keep her. Glancing around my house, I consider adding Edith and a baby to the mix.
I enjoyed fatherhood. Lola and Clover were great kids. I was one of those dads who volunteered for class field trips and picked up the kids from school when they were sick. I helped with homework and those god-awful school projects. I was the one who tucked them into bed most nights.
Of course, back then, I was a young man at the start of his life. I had a bubbly wife, a recently built house, a newly opened bar, and a recently organized club with my brother at my side. I felt invincible.
I’m no longer that guy, and I don’t know if I’m up to late-night feedings or chasing after a toddler. I literally shudder at the thought of enduring the terrible twos again, let alone dealing with a young teenager.
I pull up pictures I subtly took of Edith at the engagement party. Sulking by then, she stuck close to her parents and brothers. Edith can seem so young. I ought to protect her from myself.
Except I can still feel her lips on mine. My fingers recall how soft her skin was when I rested my hands on her bare thighs. Her baby powder scent remains on my skin and clothes. I’m intoxicated by my memories of our time together.
Edith wants a husband and a baby. Why can’t I be the one to give her everything? I’m not dead yet.
Finished sulking in the family room, I walk through the quiet house to my bedroom suite. I try to imagine Edith with me. What would she think of my tastes? I’d be willing to change things to suit her.
Stripping down to take a hot shower, I try to see my life from Edith’s viewpoint. I come up blank. She’s still a mystery. I don’t know how she works. I’m not even a hundred percent sure what she wants besides the obvious.
I give my dick a little love as a reward for not jizzing earlier. Edith's scent comes back to me, and I close my eyes. For a few minutes, I feel her in the shower with me.
After I find relief, I climb into my king-sized bed and crash into sleep easier than I have in a long time.
I wake up feeling less confident about my plans, especially once I find Lola in the kitchen with Erin. I settle at the kitchen island and mentally countdown to my next moments with Edith.
My daughter clearly went through with her plan to test out her fiancé’s bedroom skills prior to the wedding. Lola glows this morning, nearly dancing around as she cooks breakfast for everyone.
“I didn’t figure you’d come around today,” I mention as Lola pours me a cup of coffee. “Not after what happened yesterday.”
“I don’t know what you mean. Yesterday was a good day.”
“Sure,” I mutter and settle onto a stool near Erin.
My mom gets one look at me and says, “Glad to see you worked out your frustrations.”
“What?” I ask, wondering if I should have slept late to avoid this conversation.
Erin smirks knowingly. “You’ve needed to decompress after all your recent stress. I hope you were as giving as you were receiving with the woman.”
“Have I stepped into an alternative reality?” I ask, wondering what they know and why they’re speaking in riddles. “Why do I not understand anything you’re saying?”
Lola reaches over and taps my throat. “Did the woman suck your brain out through your dick?”
As memories of Edith flash through my mind, I pull up my phone and use the camera to get a look at my hickey. I’m fairly sure I left a love bite on Edith, too.
“Oh,” is all I can muster as I worry about my secret already getting out.
Lola smirks at my reaction. “Yeah, is the sexual encounter coming back to you now?”
“It’s nothing.”
“Did you hit up the trailer park?” Erin asks and laughs at me visiting a prostitute. “No shame in needing an outlet.”
“It’s just a fling,” I say, trying to sound casual yet coming off angry. “Let’s focus on Lola’s hickeys.”
“We all know who attacked her throat,” Erin says as Lola cooks bacon. “I’m curious about your situation.”
“It was a quickie,” I mumble, hoping they’ll get bored and stop bothering me. “No reason to give details.”
“Where did you meet the gutter slut?” Lola asks, super focused on my hickey now. “Was it a gutter?”
I frown at Lola, hoping she’ll back off. Except Erin eggs her on. I get how I’m not a guy who walks around with hickeys, so giving me a good razzing is in order. Lola and Erin have no way to know how Edith makes me feel. After all, I’m the asshole keeping this all secret.
As Erin and Lola wait for an answer, Clover shuffles into the kitchen, looking half-asleep. Soon, she’ll join in with their fun.
I have a choice. I can go with the truth, keep my answers overly vague, or give them a juicy lie.
“She’s a stripper,” I blurt out. “I was riding around and stopped at a place to get a drink.”
“You didn’t eat from the buffet, did you?” Clover asks, zeroing in on the biggest threat to my health.
“No, baby,” I answer and chuckle at how scared she sounds. “Anyway, one of the dancers and I hooked up. It’s not love. We aren’t a couple. I didn’t realize she marked me. Let’s drop it, okay?”
“Because of your shame?” Lola teases, and Erin laughs. “You do seem to feel mighty guilty.”
“Strippers aren’t hookups anyone should brag about,” I mumble while remembering Edith in my arms.
Losing interest in the topic, Lola focuses on breakfast. “There’s no harm in having fun.”
Erin nods and lifts her phone as if to read. “What’s the point of looking like you do, Duke, if you can’t woo young women?”
Clover doesn’t understand what’s happening and she’s too sleepy to care now that the buffet issue has been addressed.
I’m relieved by how they back off after my stripper reveal. I don’t keep many secrets, and I suspect they’d be supportive if they knew. My fears don’t come from my family’s reaction but from how Edith’s people will view things.
But maybe I’m wrong, and Lola won’t approve, either. She’s gotten angsty since my panic attack landed me in the ER weeks ago. Now she’s become clingy with Val. As I get ready to leave the house, she even begs me to be nice to him. That behavior isn’t like Lola. She gets how men need to prove themselves.
Besides, Val doesn’t need my protection. He might bounce around like a puppy and barf drama like his sister, but he’s an impressively large and surprisingly intimidating man. All day, I get texts about how he nearly came to blows with a local dumbass named Mark who was hassling Lola and him at a Basin Rock sub shop.
No doubt, Mark saw the softly pretty Val and got his panties in a bunch. The dumbass nursed a crush on Lola during high school and then for a year afterward. He was always showing up whenever she went out. Eventually, I had the meatheads explain to Mark how his interest in Lola was a sign he had suicidal tendencies.
Based on the texts from people around town, Val put that weenie back in his place. So, no, Val doesn’t need protection from me or anyone else.
Yesterday, Val made me rethink my views on him. Buying the butterfly pendant necklace and an engagement ring for Lola felt like the moves of a man in love rather than a guy making a play for club leadership.
In fact, I sense Val’s the one pushing this alliance while Court hasn’t made his long-term feelings clear. I’m not sure what that means for the Blood-Red Suns.
And that’s another reason to keep my relationship with Edith a secret. Pissing off Rawkfist’s VP would be a surefire way to end our new alliance. If I was in Donovan’s shoes, I wouldn’t be thrilled about my former rival dating my twenty-six-year-old daughter.
My mind wanders all day between the past when life made sense and how uncertain the future now feels.
By the time I arrive in Dunphey, I’m unsure about my feelings for Edith. I feel like a drowning man reaching for anything to save himself. Am I falling for Edith or dragging her down into my mess?
Her SUV is already parked in the mostly empty restaurant lot. I pull up beside her. Edith looks up from her phone and glances at me. A part of her is clearly wondering what we’re doing together. I see the uncertainty in her gaze as she exits the SUV and stands before me.
Edith’s dressed down from our dinner out. She’s wearing a black T-shirt with an eagle image and “Mountain State” printed across the front. Her faded blue jeans hang low on her hips and flare at the bottom. I don’t know how she manages to look sexier than she did in that skirt and top from last night.
“You gave me a hickey,” she says when I don’t speak.
My fingers graze her soft throat, and my heart hurts at how much I want to keep this woman. We barely know each other, yet I’m already hooked.
“You gave me one, too,” I say and tilt my head so she can see mine. “I told my family I hooked up with a stripper.”
“Because you think I’m cheap?” she sneers.
“Is that a real question?”
Edith’s bitchy expression fizzles out. “No, but I feel weird having to hide us dating. We aren’t doing anything wrong.”
My fingers dance across her throat before cradling her jaw and tipping her chin upward. I’ve been dying for a kiss since last night when my lips left hers.
Edith’s body melts against mine, and her arms wrap around the back of me possessively. We fit just right, and all my earlier concerns seem like lies told to keep me from claiming what I need.