EDITH, AKA EDIE HAS TRUST ISSUES
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My brain won’t stay screwed on right. Lust whips through my body, leaving me rattled. On dates with other men, all this touching would be a huge no-no. With a sexy beast like Duke, I only want to get closer.
“Are you named after a family member?” Duke asks as he slides his arm around my shoulders and plays with my hair.
“No, why?”
“It’s a grandma name.”
Frowning at his tone, I explain, “Otto asked for me to be named after a singer his meemaw liked.”
“Do you like your name?”
“I like how I got it,” I say and stroke his jaw. “You’re a great guy, Duke, but I refuse to go by Edie. If that’s a dealbreaker, I’ll find a way to move on.”
Duke chuckles. “Bullshit.”
“How do you figure?”
“You’re not dumping me if I start calling you Edie.”
“I might.”
“No,” he says and slides his fingers down my arm. “I won’t accept you’re so fickle. I’m acting like a lovestruck bitch right now. If you aren’t completely in this with me, I’m leaving now.”
“No.”
Duke smiles. “We’re both full of shit.”
“I’m not weak,” I say and grip his hand. “If you cheat or dump me, I will very likely burn your house to the ground.”
“I never cheat,” Duke says as if stating a fact. “But don’t burn down my house. Clover will get upset if her stuff is gone. Better to destroy my motorcycle or the clubhouse.”
I smile at how he’s protective of his daughters, not his things.
“Are you easygoing?” I ask, struggling to read him.
“God no, but I try to only worry about what is worth worrying about.”
“Are you worried about me?”
Duke narrows his gaze and studies me. “I feel like you’re testing me like you did those other men.”
“No, I’m usually completely in the zone on dates. I normally sit across from the guy and smile way more than normal. I want the guy to feel good about how much I’m smiling. That way, if I turn off my smile, he’ll feel like he did something wrong. It teaches men to seek my approval.”
Duke leans his head back and laughs hard. Though I’m offended by his reaction, I can’t deny he’s extremely sexy when he laughs.
“Why haven’t you used that move on me?” Duke asks, taking a drink after chuckling himself dry. “I could use some training.”
“Would those moves even work on you?”
“Maybe. You’ve got a great smile.”
Grinning, I nudge him with my hip. “Well, then, get out and go to the other side. I’ll test out my moves.”
“No,” Duke replies immediately. “I like this side of the booth.”
“Good because I don’t want to train you.”
Duke studies me and smirks. “I can imagine you twisting those suckers into knots.”
“I want a man strong enough for me. Not that I’m particularly hard to handle,” I explain since I might be crabby but I know how to zip my lips when a situation calls for it. “But my family can be a bit much, and I didn’t want to fall for a weak man.”
“How do you think your family will feel about me?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t lie well, Edith,” he says and kisses my temple again.
“I think I do.”
“No, your gaze is too direct when you lie. It’s like you heard people look away when they lie, so you’ve decided to stare intensely. Since that’s not how you normally look, I can always tell you’re lying.”
“Oh, well, no one ever told me that I do that.”
“Maybe you don’t lie like that with other people.”
“Maybe. I feel different since we met.”
“In a good way?”
“Only when you’re right next to me. When we’re apart, I start worrying and overanalyzing things. Mostly, my lust is throwing me off.”
“I’ll wear frumpier clothes next time,” he says, and my stomach explodes with butterflies at the thought of us making plans for the future.
“That wouldn’t work. You're sexy from the neck up, too.”
Duke grins. “I’ll wear a big dumb hat.”
Laughing, I lean into him as the food arrives. But us joking around isn’t enough to distract me from how wild I feel inside with Duke constantly touching me. I’ve gotten myself addicted to his affection. His warm breath on my throat literally sends me spinning.
“I do all that, huh?” Duke asks after his kisses on my throat leave me dazed and confused.
“Don’t make fun of me.”
“You’re reading me wrong. I’m bragging about how I have this power over someone of your quality.”
Smiling, I lean against him and whisper, “You are the best bullshitter.”
When Duke’s gaze holds mine, I can almost hear his questions about the future rolling around in his head.
Changing the subject, I say, “I’m going dress shopping with Lola and Clover tomorrow. Is there anything I need to know?”
Duke stops chewing his steak and studies me. I feel him shift in the booth, almost leaning away from me like I might be his enemy.
“Clover’s sensitive about her femininity,” he says in a rigid tone.
“I don’t know what that means.”
“She likes girly things. Her room is filled with stuffed animals and colorful artwork. But when it comes to what she wears and her appearance, she doesn’t like dresses, heels, or anything overly feminine. People razzed her about that, so she’s sensitive about the issue.”
“Oh, well, no one will do that at the shop. If someone hassles her, I’ll casually smack them upside the head.”
Clearly relieved by my response, Duke relaxes next to me. “Lola and Clover are my two weaknesses. I could lose the club, my money, hell, my health could be shot, and I’d adjust. Seeing my girls unhappy, though, makes me crazy.”
“That’s why you don’t want them to know about us.”
“A little, yeah. Lola surprised me by how excited she is over Val,” Duke explains, seeming genuinely flustered. “She got upset at me yesterday about scaring him off. Her voice did this whiny thing it rarely does. I realized how I had been completely blind to what was going on with her.”
“Val never said anything about Lola until after he made the deal. I think his ego couldn’t handle her rejection, so he fell into denial. He started talking about building a house for himself since he was going to spend his life as a celibate sex god.”
Duke studies me. “If I knew Lola was truly interested in Val, I wouldn’t have rushed the wedding. Instead, everything has happened too fast, and I feel like she’s getting screwed over by the quick timeline.”
“No one in my family moves slowly. Even without the club issues, Val would be rushing her toward marriage.”
“Maybe, but I want Lola to feel special for her big day. So, don’t let her ignore the fun stuff at the bridal shop tomorrow. Lola gets protective of Clover and downplays her own feelings.”
“I’ll keep an eye on them.”
Duke smiles softly. “Staying quiet about us being together lets Lola have all the attention right now.”
“You’re such a good father.”
My words hold too much meaning. They slam into us, and Duke seems to move away from me again. I feel him thinking about how he’s already had his kids and isn’t looking to do it again. If I turned up pregnant, he’d pretend to be happy. But I suspect he’d feel trapped.
Can I force Duke to decide right this minute if he’s willing to give me a child one day? I’m afraid to sink deeper into this obsession, only for him to dump me when I want kids. I ought to cut my losses before I get too attached.
Yet, like when I considered getting honest with my family earlier, I choose to keep my mouth shut right now with Duke. I’m terrified for things to end between us. If only I could trust in my family’s magic, I wouldn’t edit myself. I’d stop worrying. I could enjoy my time with Duke.
Instead, I doubt my good fortune and second-guess my heart until I’m a ball of nerves and too afraid to claim what should be mine.