Chapter 11 #3
Mortified, Maxi felt an intense flush flare through her from head to toe, causing her ears to burn and her eyes to sting. She wanted to give the knight a biting retort, but her tongue lay frozen. Feeling like a fool, she hung her head.
It was best to appear unfazed if she wanted to preserve what little dignity remained to her, but she could not meet Ursuline’s icy gaze.
“Th-The spell—” Maxi was about to say that the spell did not require verbal recitation when a hand fell on her shoulder. Startled, she turned to look behind her.
Riftan stood there, his eyes ablaze as he glared at Ursuline Ricaydo. He gently moved Maxi to the side, then grabbed Ursuline’s collar.
“You dare speak to my wife with such impertinence?” Riftan growled, yanking so forcefully at Ursuline’s collar that he almost lifted the knight off the ground.
Strangled by his cape, Ursuline’s face began to turn red and he tried to break free, but Riftan’s grip was like a vise. The other knights rushed to intervene.
“Commander! Please, calm down!”
Two knights grabbed at Riftan’s arms, but even their combined strength was not enough to quell Riftan Calypse. He shook Ursuline like a doll, then threw him to the ground. Ursuline choked and coughed, his face beet red, as his fellow knights helped him to his feet.
Riftan observed them coolly, then whirled back to a petrified Maxi and pulled her to him. “Come,” he said. “Let’s return to the castle.”
As he led her away, Ursuline’s indignant voice rang out from behind them.
“Have you no pride, Commander?”
Riftan froze and turned back. Ursuline rubbed his neck, his expression dark.
“Does it not anger you?” Ursuline said. “After everything Duke Croyso has done to us, how can you stand by his daughter? She is nothing but—”
Riftan slammed a fist into Ursuline’s face, sending the knight staggering back. Maxi screamed as Riftan raised his fist again, but the other knights grabbed his arm in a panic.
“C-Commander! Please, restrain yourself!” one pleaded.
“Goddammit,” Ursuline said, wiping his torn lip with the back of his hand. “Are you itching for a fight, Commander?”
“That’s enough, Sir Ursuline!” Hebaron snapped. “You are out of line!”
Though Ursuline boldly returned Riftan’s glare, sweat beaded on his brow as his commander drew threateningly close.
“If you ever speak about my wife that way again,” Riftan spat out each word with blistering menace, “I will slice you open from mouth to groin.”
Though the threat was not directed at her, a shiver ran down Maxi’s spine. Riftan held his glare against Ursuline’s defiant gaze for a long, breathless moment, then shook off the knights restraining him. He returned to Maxi and grabbed her arm before striding off.
Still shaken, Maxi glanced back at the knights as Riftan led her away. She had to scramble up the steps to keep up with him, nearly running to match his long strides. He marched past the gate and hastened them through the garden, not bothering to slow to her pace as he usually would.
“R-Riftan…”
The sound of Maxi’s breathless voice finally halted Riftan’s bounding strides. Maxi did not know what to say; her mouth parted, but no words came forth.
The shame crept in as the shock wore off. How could she have allowed herself to be so humiliated in front of him? In his eyes, at least, she was an elegant and dignified lady, but now she had surely ruined that perception.
She ducked her head to hide her welling tears, but Riftan saw it all.
“Why on earth did you have to go and—”
Maxi shrank back, and Riftan’s throat bobbed as if the words he swallowed were a ball of flames.
He dragged his palms down his face and spoke with a strangled voice. “I’m sorry that you were exposed to such slights.”
Taken aback by the unexpected apology, Maxi looked up at him with teary eyes. Riftan swore under his breath and cupped her face in his hands.
“I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.” He leaned down to rest his forehead against hers.
It was a clumsy attempt at consolation, not unlike a large dog nudging against its dismayed owner, but his tenderness sent Maxi over the edge. She whimpered and clutched at his tunic, choking on a wave of tears.
Panicked, Riftan wiped at her wet cheeks with his thumbs. “Don’t cry. I swear to you, he will never speak to you like that again.”
It was not Riftan’s fault that Ursuline had slighted her; the blame was entirely on Maxi’s own actions. The knight had simply seen her for what she truly was—insecure, stammering, dim-witted, lumbering Maximilian—and had scorned her as she deserved.
Maxi’s heart ached. If she were a worthy lady, Riftan would not have fought with one of his own. If he had married Princess Agnes, he would have garnered the unquestioning respect of his knights. She was utterly ashamed.
Though Maxi had always hated herself, that hatred felt sickeningly palpable for the first time. She buried her face in his chest and squeezed her eyes shut.
“I-I am a-all right now,” she lied. “Y-You should return t-to your d-duties.”
“Your eyes are red.”
“I’ll r-request a cold c-compress from Ludis. Y-You mustn’t w-worry…”
“How can I not?”
Maxi gave him an apprehensive look. After sobbing like a babe in his arms, she was too embarrassed to meet his eyes. As they entered the Great Hall, Rodrigo called Riftan away for something, and Maxi was inordinately grateful to have a natural way to end the conversation.
“I-I was just…a l-little embarrassed,” she said to Riftan. “I-I’m a-all right now. T-Truly.”
“I’ll make sure he never disrespects you again.”
Flustered, Maxi shook her head. “Th-That really isn’t n-n…n-necessary. Y-You n-need not w-w-worry about m-my affairs.”
“It is my duty to worry, Maxi,” Riftan said, an edge in his voice. “You are the one person in this world I must worry about. I know you’re upset, but don’t tell me not to worry for you.”
Maxi studied him apprehensively as he walked her to their bedchamber.
He had misunderstood her. Maxi only wanted to prevent another confrontation with his knights by trivializing how much the incident had hurt her.
If Riftan continued to worry about it, he might have another disagreement with Ursuline.
Inwardly, Maxi smiled a twisted, bitter smile. A truly dignified noblewoman would demand that her husband make Ursuline Ricaydo pay for his insults, but Maxi was unworthy of such efforts.
She smiled brightly to conceal her dark thoughts and forced calm into her voice. “I-I’m sorry. I-I won’t d-do it again.”
“Stay here and rest,” Riftan said when they reached their door. “I’ll be back soon.”
“A-All right.”
As if unconvinced by her assurances, Riftan studied her face for a while before turning back down the hall.
Maxi watched him go, then entered the bedroom and sat in front of the fireplace, staring numbly into the crackling flames.
The kittens stopped playing with the tassels on the rug and crept into her lap.
They rubbed their heads against her stomach, purring, and Maxi distractedly scratched their backs. She sighed.
Her past shames clung to her like oily residue, congealing in her heart. Had she really thought playing the grand, noble lady could change her true self? No matter what she did, she would always be the useless, stammering Maximilian.
Overwhelmed with helplessness and self-loathing, Maxi curled up into a ball. Despondency shifted into anxiety. The person she had pretended to be since arriving in Anatol was crumbling like a sand castle at high tide.
Riftan might not be ashamed of her yet, but he would be eventually. And he would grow tired of her when that happened.
This twisted frame of mind appalled Maxi the most. How could she so persistently doubt the man who had showed her nothing but kindness? Distressed, she buried her face in her hands.
Suddenly, a last-ditch, desperate solution came to her, and she leaped to her feet. When she burst out of her room, the servants lighting the corridor startled, then bowed their heads. Maxi distractedly nodded to them, then bounded up the stairs, taking them two at a time.
Ruth was in the library, despite Maxi’s worry that he might not be. Ensconced among the books as usual, it seemed unimaginable that he would be anywhere else.
“I didn’t think you would come to the library again today, my lady,” Ruth said, looking up from his books. “Is something wrong?”
Maxi shook her head, catching her breath. Though she had rushed there to see him, she did not know what to say now that he was in front of her. Seeing her falter, Ruth gave her a smile and pointed to the seat across from him.
“Why don’t you take a seat first, my lady? I was just thinking of calling on you, but I stopped myself after realizing Sir Riftan would turn me away at the door.” Ruth let out a long sigh. “Has he calmed down?”
“A-A little.”
“That is reassuring.”
“W-Was Sir Ursuline b-badly hurt?”
“Considering who hit him, not really. He could easily have ended up with a broken jaw, but he’s only badly bruised. Sir Riftan must have held back.”
Maxi looked away and gazed at the crimson sky outside the window. She wanted to ask the sorcerer something, but the question felt like a fish bone stuck in her throat. Glancing back to his gaunt face, her eyes flitted to the messy piles of books on the desk.
“I apologize for earlier, my lady,” Ruth said into the silence that enveloped them. “I should never have taken you there without first informing the knights. They have been more accepting of you recently, so I assumed it would be all right. It was careless of me.”
“N-N-No.” Maxi waved her hands, flustered by his unexpected apology. “P-Please do not b-blame yourself, Ruth. I-I am all right. I-It is not as if I w-wasn’t aware of how the knights f-felt about me. I w-would have been s-skeptical too if I w-were in their p-place.”
“Regardless, Sir Ursuline was out of line. The other knights have reprimanded him for insulting you so publicly. He knows that he took it too far, and I’m sure he regrets his actions.”