Chapter 33
Ember
“And then he would immediately stand up in his nappy and shake his bum around!,” Arthur’s mum spluttered through laughter, earning a chuckle from Sam and Arthur’s dad, and earning a death-stare from Arthur. As much as I loved the concept of parent’s blabbing about embarrassing childhood stories, and as much as I enjoyed watching Arthur squirm as everyone sang him happy birthday, (a bone that I will definitely be picking with him later for not telling me), the guilt I promised myself that I would internalise and hide away for the evening, desperately reaped its head to the surface, craving to be known. It had been nearly an hour of as expected, pure gushing from his parents. A part of me felt teary-eyed as I witnessed the quaint moment of pride between Arthur and his dad. I couldn’t even begin to comprehend how much that must have meantto him. Nonetheless, that brief moment of happiness morphed into the devil on my shoulder, it’s sharp tongue spitting phrases of disgust.
His dad’s pride is based on a lie, a lie you made possible.
You’ve created this perfect luck for him only to be brutally taken away in a matter of time.
“I honestly couldn’t have done it without her,” Arthur says, his kind eyes tracing me.
I was so absorbed among my own thoughts, that I’d completely lost track of the conversation. Only moments ago his mum was taking the mick out of the fact he used to twerk as a 1-year-old whenever he heard Spinning Around by Kylie Minogue and now, he’s saying he couldn’t do it without me? I was obviously missing a few chapters.
Scratching my head in confusion, I ask, “huh?”
“With the presentation?,” he says with a raised eyebrow.
I start jiggling my leg frantically now, praying to god that we were talking about anything else, especially his embarrassing childhood escapades.
“Yeah, well,” I mutter gawkily, “it was mostly you.”
“It’s so lovely that you have a friend who cares so much and wants to help you,” his mum chimes in, I don’t miss her weird conduction on the word ‘friend’ though, as if she knew something that I didn’t. “But you should give yourself credit where credits due darling, you worked so hard.”
Arthur shakes his head at me with a smile, “don’t be so modest. I was an absolute nervous wreck beforehand, I genuinely thought I was going to throw up, tell them Sam.”
Sam nods in agreement before sporting a mischievous grin, “he spent a lot of time in the toilet the morning of, that’s for sure.”
Surprisingly, Arthur’s parents burst out into laughter, probably more at the fact that Arthur looked ready to erupt.
“But anyway,” he says, turning away from Sam, focusing his eyes on me once again. “Ember literally arranged every meeting and always supported me. Genuinely think I would have failed without her.” My heart pounded. I wasn’t sure whether it was in awe of how sweetly he’d spoken about me in front of his parents, or the fact that my guilty conscience interpreted his latter statement for exactly what it was.
‘Genuinely think I would have failed without her.’ Without you, he probably would have. He just doesn’t know it yet.
Not being able to release the knot in my stomach, I excuse myself and run to the bathroom.
As I stumble into the toilets and look at the raw red blisters plastering the back of my ankles, (I knew I should have ditched the heels), I can feel my lower lip begin to quiver as the tears start to spring. I quickly shut myself into one of the stalls, the last thing I need is Arthur’s mum poking her head in and seeing the black liner drip down my face and my lipstick smudge, making me look like the equivalent of Heath Ledger’s Joker. I shut the lid of the toilet seat and grossly whip my heels off and sit down, curling up into a ball. My fingers shake with unease as I scroll for her number and let the dial ring a few times.
“Hi Ember,” Allegra says brightly. At least she wasn’t still pissed at me, but I was sure to probably ruin that when I explained my reason for calling. As graciously as ever, I burst into tears, my words incoherent as I try to tell her what’s wrong.
“Whoa. Slow down tiger. Say it again,” she assures calmly.
“Y-you were right,” I stutter, snorting back the tears. “I’m out for lunch at the moment with Arthur’s family and all they’ve talked about is how proud they are for everything he’s achieved,” I take another breath, “and he won’t stop gushing about how he ‘couldn’t have done it’ without me, and now he’s also won a bloody ￡1000 scratch card, one that is paying for the meal we’re currently having at a fancy restaurant! His dad even told him how proud he was in front of him, his dad never does that. The guilt is eating me alive Allegra.” There’s silence on the other end of the line, I start to think she may have hung up during my emotional outburst.
“Oh Ember,” her familiar voice replies through a sigh. “I hate to say it, but I told you. You have no idea what sort of magic you’ve unleashed here. I know on the surface it looks like a harmless good luck spell, but it could be far more than that.”
If she was trying to make me feel worse, she was doing a pretty good job. “Strictly speaking,” I ask with a sniff, “could any of this have reasonably happened without the spell? I mean, he could have just got firsts for working so hard, it’s not rocket science. It might just be coincidence that a scratch card flew into him, I’ve heard of things happening like that before.”
I think Allegra could tell that I was desperately trying to excuse the behaviour and diminish all responsibility.
“There are definitely coincidences in this world, I’m not denying that. But from what you’ve told me about Arthur and his level of struggle, the timing is too convenient. You said yourself that you actively saw him change in the presentation, a change of character completely overnight. That’s what this spell does, the luck controls the person, almost like a puppet. If he feels like he’s changed, that would be why.”
My eyes sting as I try and comprehend what she’s saying. “are you sure there’s nothing I can do to stop this?” I want him to be happy, and I think he deserves all of the luck in the world, but not like this. Not when it’s artificial.
I don’t need to see her to know that she’s shaking her head down the phone. “Sorry sweetheart. It will have to run its course. Something bad will come of it, magic always comes with a price.” I hate the fact that even something that is supposed to be as otherworldly and cosmic as magic even comes with fucking terms and conditions. It’s like there’s no escaping the bleakness of reality despite who you are and what you can do.
Noting my obvious silence, Allegra adds softly, “I’ll let you get back to them. You don’t want them worrying that you’re ill in the toilet. Like I said, there’s nothing that can be done Emb, so as tough as it is for me to say, especially knowing that you’re so upset, is to just ride along with it.”
Sucking onto my bottom lip, I stand up from the toilet, bare feet on the floor, infections be damned, “you’re probably right. Thank you, Allegra, I love you.”
“And I love you. Call me soon, okay? And call your mum too, I’m sure she’d really appreciate it. Facetime her and you’ll get to see Robert running circles around her,” she laughs.
Despite feeling exhausted with emotion, I manage to breath out a weak laugh. That’s something that I’d definitely like to see. I end the call and grit my teeth as I slip my heels back on over the sore wounds. Leaving the stall, I check around to see that no one else had come in. I quickly splash a bit of water on my face to remove the black smudges and thank my lucky stars that I’d brought my lipstick with me, so at least I could still look somewhat presentable despite the now very-much-swollen eyelids. As I walk back towards the table, I see Arthur’s parents and Sam all giggling in unison about something or another as they down another glass of champagne. I really hope that Arthur’s dad isn’t planning on driving back any time soon, didn’t have him down for a drunk-driver. I notice that Arthur isn’t joining in with them, he’s staring intently and wholeheartedly at me, a look of pure sunshine.
Why did he have to do that?
My insides were bubbling like the champagne on the table, but my mind was willing me to walk away, to end the friendship now and to rip the plaster off before it was too late and had chance to get any worse, but before I could even will my feet to move, Arthur’s mum was vibrantly gesturing me towards the table, “Ember come and have some Victoria sponge before these pigs eat it all.”
“Sorry Emb,” Sam says over a huge mouthful of cake, “I might have eaten two slices.”
“I’ve saved you a slice anyway,” Arthur says brightly. There go my ovaries again.
Get a grip. Why are you getting ovary flutters, he literally just saved you a piece of cake.
I take my seat and despite the nausea, attempt to tuck into the creamy desert, dabbing my mouth with a napkin after every bite as to not mess up my already reapplied lipstick, (any girl will know the level of master precision it takes to try and eat with a Red lip).
We sit, we chat, we eat, we drink, in pure working-class-pretending-we’re-upper-class fashion. In other words, I make it through the afternoon, just. We ended up staying at the Pump Rooms for nearly 3 hours, I could see the staff desperately itching to kick us out and clear the table. Eventually, Arthur’s parents leave, and I can say that the one thing that did make me laugh, was watching him try to wriggle out of a hug from his mum, who I could safely say was 100% pissed on champagne judging by the fact that not only was she was practically slobbering wet kisses all over his cheek and screaming about how much she loved her son, but she then proceeded to do exactly the same thing to Sam, the poor guy looked like he didn’t know whether he wanted to jump for joy or run for the hills. That then left just Sam, Arthur and I, heading back for the bus.
“Did you and Poppy want to come back to ours for a bit?,” Sam asks, peering over at me from the crack in the seat. The bus is absolutely jam packed, I ended up having to sit in the seats directly behind Sam and Arthur next to some random man who had no qualms about manspreading to the point that his knees were essentially laying on mine. For a split second, I swear I spot a look of hopefulness on Arthur’s face through his reflection in the window.
Semester 2 was starting on Monday, which was only 3 days away, I needed to knuckle down. Plus, I don’t think I could be around Arthur any more than I needed to be, the guilt was more than enough for one day. “Pops might want to come, but I’ve really got to start prepping some work now. I’ve been slacking with my pre-reading,” I respond.
“Yeah-uh-actually I should probably sort some bits out for my first day on the job tomorrow,” Arthur fumbles.
“Spoilsports,” Sam laughs, looking between the two of us.
I guess that was it. Semester 2 was starting, Arthur was starting his new job, there were new beginnings all around. Just like when we started Uni, no one knew what to expect, it was a new chapter, a blank canvas for new and exciting opportunities, yet we all still feared the unknown. As I sit here now though and stare aimlessly through the window at the reflection of Arthur as he calmly watches the world go by, the concept of never knowing what was around the corner, suddenly brought a whole new meaning.