THE REVENGE SQUAD #2
All the women in this room have been hurt by one man on campus, she adds dramatically.
And Alexa too, but she had a date tonight, Jordan pipes up.
Destiny narrows her eyes at the interruption, and Jordan shrinks back in her chair.
As I was saying, there's one man on campus who has broken more hearts than any other.
I'm not going to reveal his identity until you agree to do this.
While I am his latest victim, there are also many others on campus.
She pauses, flicks out a tissue and dabs at her eyes.
Her mascara must be truly waterproof because I see no smudges at all.
He can't be allowed to go on like this. We've devised a plan to get our revenge on him—by breaking his heart.
Then he'll understand the pain he's been inflicting on women whose only crime was to offer him affection.
Destiny looks at me with an intensity that's almost religious.
And we've chosen you as the tool for our revenge.
Me? My voice rises in a very uncool screech. Am I now going to have to confess my very limited dating experience? They've already seen my inability to sit in a chair without causing a clumsy scene. I'm hardly the person to be chosen as a weapon of male destruction. Why on earth would you choose me?
First of all, you're brand new on campus. He's never met you.
I bob my head, but any freshman would fit that description.
Secondly, you're smart. That's going to be necessary for this mission. You'll have to think on your feet and remember a lot of things.
I release my breath. She must have surmised this from my academic scholarship. But everyone knows there's a huge difference between book-smart and street-smart. As far as I know, dating is nothing like taking an exam, except for getting nervous before either.
And finally, you have the right look. Viktor is attracted to tall women with dark hair, Destiny states.
I look around the room again. There is no one here under 175 cm, and on an essential level, we're all fair-complected with dark hair, even if the shades range from Mia’s auburn to Angelica's black. But in terms of sophistication, I feel like the beige caterpillar in a room of rainbow butterflies.
My mouth opens and closes several times before I finally choke out the words, I haven't dated much.
Angelica sniffs. We have eyes. We can see exactly who and what you are. She turns to Destiny. You need to level with her, Des.
Destiny lets out a disapproving sniff. Fine.
Evelyn, let's be completely honest here.
You are a good candidate for our sorority...
on paper. You're good-natured, well-mannered, and scholastically strong.
But maybe it's all that home-schooling—you remind me of that show where the woman grows up in a bunker and has zero knowledge of real life.
The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt! calls out Jordan, clapping her hands.
It's not trivia night, Jordan. Angelica sighs and turns to me.
What we're saying is that we can help you with the externals: fashion, beauty, socializing.
By the time we're done, you'll fit right in here. And once you’re a member of Alpha Z, your entire life at Monarch will go smoothly.
You'll have your choice of extracurriculars, social events, boyfriends.
We have scholastic resources too. Seriously, this is an offer any freshman on campus would kill for.
The idea of fitting in shimmers in front of me like an oasis. I'm tired of being invisible and odd, and I do want to be part of Alpha Z. Not only will it make my mother happy, but it's also a chance for me to have the life I fantasized about for years.
Then reality hits me like an anvil. I don't think I can break someone's heart. I mean, nobody has ever fallen for me. Not even close.
Don't worry, we all know what this guy likes. Intimately. We'll teach you everything, and he'll be an easy mark, Destiny reassures me.
Intimately? Wait, do I have to have sex with him? Because that's not the way I've pictured my first time. I start to hyperventilate a little.
Could you tell me a bit more about why he's such an awful person? I ask. Am I looking for motivation, or a way to get out of this situation?
Destiny’s eyes narrow, and she throws back her hair. He makes you fall for him and then dumps you.
Mia speaks for the first time. To be fair, he does warn you beforehand that he doesn't do relationships.
Destiny scowls. His definition of a relationship is very selfish, though.
It's whatever suits him. And why does he work so hard to do things that make women fall for him?
He made me feel like I was special and different—that he didn't really mean what he had said initially.
But as soon as I crossed some arbitrary line, then bang, it was over.
She slams her palm on the coffee table at the word bang, and we all jump.
Mia persists. Is that his fault, though?
Whose side are you on, anyway? I thought you were behind this idea, Destiny demands, and the others nod. If you're out like Alexa, then just go.
Mia's pretty cheeks flush and she looks down. No, of course I'm on your side. I’m just seeing things from Evelyn's perspective... Her soft voice trails off.
Of course I'm familiar with the literary figure of the cad who cuts a swath through the female population until he finally loses his heart to the pure heroine. But I didn’t think they existed in real life.
I feel trepidation at my responsibility. If he fooled all of you—and you're much more sophisticated than I—how will I not fall for him?
Good question. Angelica nods and turns to Destiny.
Well, I have a couple of ideas around that. Is there a type of guy you're attracted to?
I consider this. My ideal boyfriend would be an all-American boy, a Californian who's tanned, blonde, and relaxed. I stumble around in my description until Jordan demands, Is there a celebrity you like?
Oh. Well, Robert Redford in The Way We Were.
Everyone stares at me blankly and then picks up their phones and searches. How can I explain that the few movies I've seen were on my great-grandmother's VCR when I visited Minnesota? That my internet usage has been restricted my whole life?
Holy. That movie is from 1973, Jordan finally says. But sure, he's hot. Or was hot then, he must be old by now.
Or dead, Mia suggests cheerfully.
Destiny snorts. Okay, Bunker Girl, I think you'll be immune to V— this guy's charms, but if you like we can find you someone who looks like this to date secretly while you do this. That should keep you safe.
Oh, I don't think I could date two people at once. I'm going to have enough trouble dating one person.
Fine. But let us know right away if you're softening towards him, and we'll coach you. I mean, you're already armed with the knowledge of how awful he is, so that will help.
I inhale, then ask my next big question. Um, you mentioned intimacy before. So, are you expecting me to be intimate with him? Because there’s no way I could do that.
Destiny shakes her head. No, no, we just want you to lead him on. Get him interested, go on a few dates, and then dump his ass so he knows exactly how it feels to be rejected. It’s never happened to him before.
He is really good in bed, though, Jordan volunteers. It might be fun for you.
I shake my head vehemently. I cannot even conceive of having sex with someone I have no feelings for.
You might have to make out with him. Can you do that? Destiny asks.
Yuck. Kissing someone I dislike sounds horrible. But if it means getting in Alpha Z? I squeeze out the words. I can try.
Oh, wonderful. He’s going to love making out with some dead fish, sneers Angelica.
Angie, hush. So, are you in? asks Destiny.
One more question: if I’m not successful, does that mean I don’t get into the sorority? Because human nature is not predictable. Maybe I am his physical type, but the mystery man may not be interested in my clueless, bunker-girl personality.
Destiny smiles warmly at me. Of course not. If you do this to the best of your ability, that’s all we can ask. You’re welcome to join.
I weigh the options. On one hand, I’ll have to date some horrible Lothario.
But on the other hand, I’ll get all this: the sorority I wanted, a makeover that will vault me into modern times, and a whole new group of friends.
And after that call from my father, I’ll also be able to cheer up my mother and tell her that I got into Alpha Zeta Mu.
I smile at all of them. Okay, I’m willing to give this a try.
Destiny squeals, and suddenly I’m in the midst of my first ever group hug. We all giggle in relief after the tension of our discussion.
We’ve already got a name: the Revenge Squad. Isn’t it so hardcore? Jordan asks.
I love it, I say, and I do. I’ve always wanted a to be part of a team.
Once we’re all back in our seats, Destiny pulls out a notepad and starts scribbling a chart.
Let’s put together a tentative schedule.
There’s a party at the big hockey house next Friday.
That’s where we’ll launch you. That gives us eight days to…
She hesitates and looks me over again. Get you ready.
Jordan claps her hands. Oh, makeover time. I love makeovers.
I swallow. I’m excited about looking as fashionable as these women, but what about the basics, like how to talk to a guy?
As if reading my mind, Destiny adds, And we’ll teach you all the social skills as well. Not to brag, but my flirting game is strong.
I exhale with relief. Please, feel free to be honest. I know that I’m lacking in many areas.
Angelica snorts in agreement, then asks, Aren’t you going to show her the target?
Oh, right. Destiny pulls out her phone and scrolls through her phone and passes it to me.
This is Viktor Zelenko. He’s captain of the Mustangs hockey team.
I turn her screen around to look at it.
Then my insides flip. It’s the man from the library, the one I elbowed in the testes. Viktor and I already know each other, and he dislikes me.