9. Mack
Mack
Rage boils through every fucking molecule in my body, driving me forward with one promise on my mind—kill whoever destroyed the treehouse and make them my bitch.
No amount of torture will suffice for what they’ve taken away from me.
The memories. The fucking pillows shredded into nothing.
The small trinkets Livy loved so damn much, smashed to smithereens.
Even the frilly curtains sit on the ground, torn and destroyed by someone’s hands.
First, someone destroys Olivia’s grave. That’s their first fucking offense. Now? Someone has touched the shrine I left for Liv. The things she kept there. They were all hers. She made that place our home away from home. The place we went to when times got to be too fucking much.
Fuck. Olivia was my home. No matter what, four walls surrounded me. Olivia was the bright shining light surrounding me in her goodness.
And then, she was gone.
Fuck. I stagger a step, rubbing at my temples.
My muscles burn and ache from the five-mile run I took this morning, begging me to slow down.
But I can’t. If I slow down, then my mind will lock me into a dark room and force me to face the ghosts haunting me.
And I can’t fucking have that. Won’t. I refuse to think about all the bullshit that’s happened in my life and examine it too closely. It brings me nothing but pain.
Looking back, Waffles is right by my side as we trudge toward the graveyard for the final stint of our morning. His tongue lolls out of his mouth, drool dripping from his tongue.
“Thirsty, boy?” I ask softly, rubbing at his head. “We’ll stop for a visit and then go home.”
I look toward the direction of the graveyard with a heavy weight pressing down on my chest. My lungs almost seize inside me, failing to work, and leaving me gasping for air. Like always, when I’m near her final resting place.
Olivia.
My day begins and ends with her.
Today. Always. Forever. Our fucking motto. She may be gone from this plane of existence, but she’ll forever live in my fucking soul, attached to me in ways I can’t explain.
For as long as I live, guilt will slowly eat away at me like a poison.
I should have been with her. We should have.
Not in Vegas doing a bullshit run through Franco’s newest casino hundreds of miles away.
The three of us should have been hovering outside her window and freeing her from the flames of the electrical fire that consumed their home.
Or was it?
My head aches as the thoughts run rampant, knocking around my skull and trying to drag me down. Again. Like always. I don’t get a moment’s damn peace inside my head, unless I’m running or talking with Livy.
The treehouse looms overhead as the sun slowly sets over our part of the world.
Peace finally descends on me the moment I climb up the ladder and pull myself onto the small porch overlooking the vast woodlands.
Birds chirp. Chipmunks and squirrels scurry on the forest floor.
And I… Well, I can finally breathe for the first time in what seems like months.
Hux and JJ stayed behind with Franco to clean up the latest mess we were forced into.
I squeeze my eyes shut. Images of blood-soaked clothes and screams of the man we had to interrogate roar in my head. A shrill scream escapes from my lungs as I look at the heavens above, shouting to the sky and letting it take all the bullshit.
No matter where I go in life, bloodstains and bad things follow me. Maybe I’m bad. Rotten from the inside out, and what’s happened to me is the karma I deserve.
“Mack?” A small whisper freezes my limbs and pulls me back to reality. “Are…you okay?” she softly asks, not wanting to agitate me further.
But it does.
I grit my teeth, turning to look at Olivia fucking Viotto. Ever since her dad came to this fucking town and has been living on Franco’s property, our lives have turned upside down. We went from petty casino jobs and keeping track of Franco’s shit—to murder.
“Go home,” I grit out, tossing a hand toward the ladder.
“I don’t want you here.” My gaze lingers on the swaying branches and the impending darkness about to descend on us.
Not on her. The girl I wish would leave us alone.
“Didn’t you hear me?” I shout, turning on my heels and coming face-to-face with Olivia.
A blackened bruise sits over her eye, puffing it out and swelling shut. She swallows hard, averting her gaze from me, and tries to take a step toward the ladder.
“Who did that to you?” I whisper.
Every ounce of anger and denial leaves my body. Now, it’s only her, staring down at the porch with slumped shoulders.
She offers me a weak smile, shaking her head. “Doesn’t matter. The treehouse is yours.”
Without thinking about it, I grab her upper arm and stop her from escaping.
“I…you don’t have to go,” I say, swallowing the lump in my throat.
Two seconds ago, I was ready to toss her over the edge of the damn treehouse. But now? Now, my heart is aching at the frightened look in her eyes when they snap to me. Why? I don’t fucking know.
We awkwardly stand on the small porch for what seems like hours, staring at each other in silence.
“Truth for a truth?” she whispers, shrugging off my grip.
“Sure,” I wince, taking my hand back and putting it in my pocket.
“What’s wrong?” she asks softly again, not raising her voice as she turns to look at me fully. I try my best not to stare at the bruising on her delicate flesh or the vulnerable look in her eyes.
She and I aren’t friends right now. She’s some girl who hangs around sometimes.
Well, more than sometimes. Lately, it’s been all the damn time.
I see the way JJ and Hux look at her with googly eyes, wanting to undress her or some shit.
And yeah, she’s fucking beautiful with big doe eyes and her long brown hair.
But she’s a goddamn spoiled Mafia princess.
“What’s wrong?” I huff, crossing my arms. “Everything is fucking wrong,” I grunt, not wanting to get into the fucking details of my entire life.
“Agreed,” she sighs, looking off past my shoulder.
“What the fuck hit you?” I blurt out without thinking.
Her gaze flicks to me again. “A fist,” she quips, shrugging a shoulder.
“And who did this fist belong to?” I have a sneaking suspicion it’s that asshole, Raphael. He may be named after a fucking archangel, but he’s the fucking devil. I have a sixth sense for those fuckers. Always lurking around, aching to beat the innocent people. AKA the defenseless children.
I’ve been there. Done that bullshit. Got out as soon as I could escape from that hell.
My mom used to bring those losers around all the damn time. It’s why I had to escape with or without my brother. Even then, he was too stubborn to see the future ahead of him. It was bleak and bullshit. The first chance I got to leave, I took it.
Even if it means this—murdering people for stealing from us. Or talking shit about us. Or revealing our secrets to the world.
I’m safer here. With Franco. Under his roof with my two best friends than I ever was at home.
“I think you know,” she says, taking a deep breath. “I should probably get back, anyway. I’m sure he’ll be back around soon.” She shakes her head.
“He left?” I ask, my jaw ticking in annoyance.
She offers me a tight smile. “If only it were forever.” She takes a few steps toward the ladder before turning to me. “Whatever you’re going through, I hope when the sun rises, it’s better by then. The sunshine always erases the darkness.”
The sunshine always erases the darkness.
Her words from all those years ago, when I was a stupid little boy with stupid fucking problems, ring through my mind. If only I had held her more. Touched her more. Told her I loved her more.
So many regrets tingle at the ends of my fingertips as I lose myself, walking toward the only end goal I know. Her. Olivia.
Her headstone breaches the dirt like a beacon. A lighthouse. A fucking symbol of the end. Both of ours. The moment she died, I shriveled up inside, becoming this husk of who I was. Empty. Forgotten. Used.
Sometimes at night, I look at the stars, praying to whatever entity that lives up there to bring her back to me. Raise her from the dead and let her breathe for one more hour. One more fucking day. I’d show her then what she meant to me.
“You’re the oxygen I breathe,” I murmur in her ear, scooting her closer to me as we rest in the treehouse together.
She leans her head on my shoulder, running her fingers up and down my arm. My flesh tingles with the tickly feeling, but it settles something in me. She settles something in me. We may only be seventeen, but I know I’m going to marry this woman.
I once thought she was a spoiled Mafia brat. Times change. And so did I.
“And you’re the sunshine in the morning,” she whispers back, finally looking up at me with those big doe eyes full of wonder, and oh, fuck. Lust. Lots and lots of lust.
My lips melt into hers in an instant. What can I say? I’m a lovesick fool, rock hard for this girl only.
“One day, I’ll walk you down the aisle.” Am I jumping the gun? Eh, probably. But fuck it. You only live once, after all. And this once-in-a-lifetime love I’ve got with Olivia is something I won’t let slip between my fingers. “God, Buttercup, Baby,” I groan, wanting to sink inside her.
But I was dumb as fuck and made a pact with the other two idiots. No sex until she’s ready. No sex until we’re all present. Like I want two other dicks standing at attention waiting for their turn.
Whatever.
This is our deal. She is ours. And we’re going to share for the rest of our goddamn lives.
I sigh, leaning against her headstone. If I could wipe the memories from my brain and fucking move on, I would. Maybe they’re there to torture me relentlessly and make me suffer the consequences of losing her.
My one true fucking love.
And now I have a fucking hard-on. Great. Good thing no one is around to witness this.