Chapter 35
The room was quiet except for the hum of the ceiling fan going round and round. I had stared at it for so long now that I think I was in some kind of hypnotic trance. Cam lay on the opposite side of the bed, also staring at the ceiling. Perhaps he was also hypnotised.
‘So let’s go over the plan for tomorrow.’ He finally broke the silence. ‘What are you thinking?’
I turned slightly, just enough to look at him out of the corner of my eye.
‘I was thinking I would take Amber aside, start chatting diamonds; maybe Victor bought her a really expensive piece of jewellery recently and she wants to gush about it and show me, or maybe she’s seen something diamond-related.
I’ll go in with the whole “girl’s best friend” and all, and see what she lets slip. ’
He nodded, like he approved. Not that I needed his approval.
‘And you?’
‘I’ll try and get Victor talking about money.
Tell him how crypto is the future – decentralised, borderless, banking is over, blah, blah, blah.
But most importantly, paperless and untraceable, not to mention the best way to move funds around invisibly, you know, something like that.
See if I can get him talking. Maybe get him to think about diversifying his portfolio.
And maybe he’ll think I’m just the right crypto bro to do it. ’
I chuckled. ‘I never thought I would ever hear the words “diversify” and “portfolio” coming out of your mouth, ever.’
‘Told you, I’m a changed man.’
I rolled my eyes and rubbed my shoulder. A dull ache had started to pulse in it again. I must have injured it in our latest tussle.
‘You okay?’ he asked.
‘Yeah. It’s just my shoulder.’
He turned onto his side and faced me. ‘Rotator cuff?’
I blinked. ‘How did you know that?’
‘I know how you fight. You’ve been favouring your right side; you always do when you’re protecting that shoulder. What happened to it?’
‘I don’t even remember. Could’ve been rugby. Or the gym. Or jumping out of a tree. Or tackling some idiot who was cheating on his wife and trying to run away. Who knows.’
‘You’re still playing rugby?’
‘Not as much as I’d like to,’ I admitted. ‘I miss it.’
He paused, and I sensed something in that pause, something that made me turn and look at him. ‘You’ve gone quiet. But I know you want to say something.’
He smiled. ‘See, I told you, we still know each other so well.’ He paused again, his eyes searching my face. ‘I saw you play once.’
‘What? When?’
‘Back in college. You never let me come and watch, remember? I asked multiple times and you kept saying no, so . . . and then as fate would have it, one Saturday I happened to be at the same club you were.’
I sat up straight. ‘Which club?’
‘Parktown Rec Centre.’
‘What the hell were you doing there?’
‘Playing squash with a buddy. So I watched you play, obviously you didn’t see me.’
‘That sounds a bit creepy, don’t you think, it’s basically spying on me.’
‘I just . . . I don’t know, you never let me see that other side of you. And I wanted to, I wanted to see who you were and what you were like when you weren’t Lizzy Brown, my rival. You never let me in on that. So I took the opportunity when it presented itself.’
‘I never let anyone in on that.’ I was quiet for a moment, and a weird feeling, accompanied by a thought, started making itself known to me.
I wasn’t actually angry that he’d watched me play rugby secretly from the shadows.
Instead, I felt something else. Something stirring in my belly, and that stupid creepy-crawly feeling in my spine again.
‘So,’ I said, feigning casual, because I certainly didn’t want him to know that my spine was now tingling with the anticipation of his answer, ‘what did you think?’ I knew Cam had been really good at rugby, and now for some reason I seemed to suddenly care about his opinion.
He didn’t answer right away. He lifted his head and propped his elbow on the bed, bringing his chin to rest on his hand so he was looking down at me.
‘The day you broke my finger, I was impressed,’ he said. ‘The day you set the speed record for the obstacle course, I was doubly impressed. But watching you on that field? I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything more impressive before.’
I swallowed.
‘Do you have any idea how good you are?’
I didn’t answer. Not out loud. Because somewhere in the middle of that statement, my heart had decided to skip a beat. And I was pretty sure he’d noticed.
‘There’s no one like you, Lizzy.’
I couldn’t hide the slight flush in my cheeks. I couldn’t see it, but I knew it was there because a sudden warmth had just spread across my face. I tried to prop myself up on my elbow too, but winced.
‘Let me,’ he said, reaching for my shoulder.
I pulled back and stared at his hand. ‘Let you what?’
‘I know how to massage a sports injury.’
‘Um . . . no!’ I said quickly. There was no way I was letting his hands anywhere near my body, because every time I did, bad things happened, bad things that felt frighteningly good but that I knew were . . . bad. So damn bad.
‘I won’t stray from your shoulder.’ He started moving his hand again and I quickly slapped it away, which only caused him to chuckle.
‘How do I know this isn’t a trick? We’re two-all, and I know how much you like to win.’
He smiled. Slow and sexy. That smile of his seemed to cause me to make poor life choices; in fact, there was something about Cam that had always made me make poor life choices. And looking at that smile, that outstretched hand, I knew I was probably about to make another one.
‘Fine.’ I sat up. ‘But I warn you, do not try anything, or I swear you will find yourself unconscious on the floor.’
‘Wouldn’t dream of it,’ he said, sounding sincere. ‘Besides, this is no different from when I used to stretch you after practice.’
Oh, I remembered those sessions. I remembered them more vividly than I cared to admit.
The feel of his hands, the way he seemed to intuitively know how much pressure to apply until it was just perfect, the way my muscles melted, and along with them my resolve.
Well, I only ever let my resolve melt once, but we all know how that ended.
‘How do you want me?’ I asked, already feeling a little breathless, and we hadn’t even started.
He smirked.
‘No, not how do you want me. I mean, where should I sit . . . Cam, just tell me where to sit.’ I was flustered now.
‘Edge of the bed.’
I moved to perch on the mattress, my back to him, and predictably, as he drew nearer, something fundamental shifted in the air around us.
‘Mind if I pull your top off your shoulder?’ he asked gently. ‘I need access.’
I looked back at him, arching a brow.
‘I swear,’ he said quickly, hands lifted in mock surrender, ‘just your shoulder. Nothing else. Scout’s honour.’
‘Remember what I said. Try anything and you’ll be unconscious before you hit the floor.’
‘Got it. Floor. Out cold. Noted.’
I lifted the fabric, exposing my shoulder blade, and his thumbs went to work immediately, pressing into me, gently at first, circling the tight muscle. I winced slightly when he applied more pressure.
‘Too much?’ he asked.
‘No. It’s fine.’
‘I’ll go a little softer,’ he said, and dialled it down. His hands moved slowly, methodically, sliding over my shoulder as if his fingers knew it so well. Knew my body. I closed my eyes.
I didn’t mean to breathe out like that, a breath that bordered a little bit too much on a pleasure-induced moan.
He heard it, but continued to massage me.
I couldn’t remember the last time someone had touched me this way, not with urgency and lust, but softly.
My encounters were just sex. Nothing more.
But this . . . this was something I’d only ever experienced with Cam.
My body decided to lean back on its own, as did my head.
He was close to me, so close I could feel his breath on my neck.
My heart pounded – too bloody loud, too fast.
And then, because this was feeling so good and because I was feeling so relaxed, panic rose.
The panic of real feelings. The panic that my spine was doing that thing again and so was my stomach. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. And if I didn’t pull away now, I was going to tumble head-first into something I wasn’t ready for.
‘That’s enough.’ I stood up abruptly.
‘Lizzy . . .’ Cam stood too, and the look on his face . . . He knew.
‘No,’ I said, already backing away, already fixing my shirt. ‘Thanks. It’s fine. My shoulder’s fine.’
‘There’s something I want to say.’
I shook my head. ‘No.’
‘There were so many things left unsaid from that night. I—’
‘It was all said, Cam.’ My voice was sharper than I meant it to be. I was already halfway to the door, because if I stayed a second longer, I might start to unravel.
‘Lizzy, don’t go.’
‘I’ve got something to do,’ I said, stepping out into the cool night. I needed it cold, because I was burning up. I was on fire inside and something needed to put it out.