Chapter 36
I woke to the sound of Cam’s voice. ‘Lizzy . . . why is there a fish in the bath?’
‘Aargh.’ I rubbed my head and eyes. I was exhausted. I’d only crawled back into bed a few hours ago. After wandering around half the damn island trying to clear my head, I’d finally returned with my fish friend.
‘Lizzy, I’m serious. Am I hallucinating?’
I groaned, shoved the covers off and joined Cam in the bathroom. He was looking at the fish with a quizzical expression.
‘He’s sick,’ I said. ‘I’m helping him.’
Cam turned slowly and looked at me.
‘What?’ I asked, feeling defensive now because of the strange probing look he was giving me.
‘A fish rescuer. One could almost think you had a soft side,’ he said, disappearing back into the bedroom.
‘Whatever,’ I threw over my shoulder. I crouched down and peered into the bath.
The fish seemed to sense my presence and looked up at me.
‘I know, buddy, I know. I’m also in a totally weird situation and unfamiliar surroundings, but you’ll be home soon and so will I and then we’ll both be happy again.
’ I hesitated. A strange feeling had risen up in me as I’d said those words.
Home again. Away from Cam. Away from this strange arrangement we had.
A thought that a few days ago had filled me with glee but now filled me with—
‘We’d better get ready,’ Cam shouted from somewhere in the villa.
‘I just don’t know how I managed before you were around telling me what to do.’ I headed for my suitcase, grabbed my outfit of the day and went to change.
Our boat cut its way through the water. It was early morning – apparently the best time to see the reef – and the low sun was casting a warm glow across the surface of the turquoise water. It was so picturesque out here, so perfect.
‘It’s perfect.’ Amber said what I was thinking.
She adjusted her glasses when the boat gave a little bounce, the glasses I’d given her yesterday, the ones that had sealed our friendship, because apparently all you needed to do to make friends was give really expensive gifts.
She was wearing her famous gold sarong, and it sparkled obnoxiously in the sunlight, sending little flickers of disco-ball-style light dancing around the boat.
‘Perfect,’ I agreed, and tried to force a smile. I was struggling today, though, because the bikini I was currently wearing was cutting into me like dental floss. And every time we went over a small wave, it dug in deeper.
‘Lizzy.’ Cam leaned close. ‘Try to act like you’re at least having a tiny bit of fun.’
‘I’d like to see you try and have fun while your bikini string is lodged up your ass.
’ I attempted to adjust it through the sundress I was wearing, hoping the wedgie might decide to finally unwedge itself.
It did not. ‘Let me tell you, if you think I’m thrilled about squeezing myself into this stupid thing, not to mention having to wear it in front of an audience, you must be completely mad. ’
‘Everyone else is pretty thrilled, though,’ Cam said seductively.
‘Stop that.’ I smacked his arm just as Amber turned to me.
‘Oh my God, Lizzy, that bikini is so cute,’ she gushed. I’d now hitched up my dress completely in an attempt to deal with it. ‘Where did you get it from?’
‘Oh, you know.’ I waved my hand in the air. ‘I just picked it up somewhere.’ I stopped. I had no idea what to say. I couldn’t think of the name of a single high-end shop, so vague hand circles were far safer.
‘Oh my God, I’m always forgetting where I buy things from.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘I suppose I’m always shopping, though.’ She laughed, and it sounded like champagne bubbles bursting forth from a bottle.
‘Me too.’ I played along, also trying to give a champagne laugh. Mine didn’t come out quite so effervescently, though, and I heard Cam chuckle next to me.
‘You’re going to need to practise your fake laugh,’ he whispered in my ear, and for a split second the feel of his breath— No! Screw the feel of his breath.
‘Shut up,’ I whispered back while still smiling at Amber.
Across the boat, Victor had opened a cooler box and pulled out what looked like a very expensive bottle of champagne. It was ten in the morning, and besides, I didn’t think scuba diving and alcohol blended particularly well. Amber seemed to be on the same page as me, at least.
‘Vic, honestly.’ She swatted him with a playful giggle. ‘You can’t drink before you go in the water.’
‘That’s not going to stop me. Besides, I think I’m going to sit this one out.
I’ve never liked masks over my face. I get claustrophobic.
’ Mmm, if he didn’t like masks over his face, he was definitely not going to enjoy what a Mafia enforcer did to him.
He turned to Cam. ‘You’ll have to look after the ladies on your own down there. ’
Cam nodded and leaned back against the side of the boat, stretching his arms out casually behind his head, like the smuggest man on the planet.
‘Don’t worry, Victor, I’ll make sure our girls stay safe.’
‘Oh you will, will you?’ I said sarcastically.
‘Of course, sweetheart.’ And then without warning, he placed a finger on the skin just above my knee and dragged it upwards slowly and softly. It was more than enough to make my skin pebble despite the warm sun.
The boat finally slowed down, and the guide gave us a quick briefing about the equipment, the hand gestures we could use underwater and the safety precautions. I nodded along, pretending like I hadn’t done this a million times before.
Minutes later, we were beneath the surface and the world instantly transformed into a living kaleidoscope.
The first thing that struck me was the warmth of the water.
The second was the silence. I usually hated silence; in my line of work, it tended to indicate that something bad was about to happen, but down here, it was different.
As we went deeper, the light changed, breaking up into beams that danced in the swirling currents and illuminated the colours of the coral, making them more vibrant, if that was even possible.
The white sand of the seabed was punctuated with patches of colour, as if a painter had haphazardly spilled their palette across the ocean floor.
And they were not painting in muted tones; on the contrary.
I swam closer to the reef. It was teeming with life.
Bright bits of corals stretched upwards, swaying gently.
A soft orange cluster moved like an underwater weeping willow.
Schools of fish darted between the coral in bright electric bursts, and a group of blue fish zipped past my face, their small bodies shimmering when they caught the light above them, like little flashes of falling holographic glitter.
A pair of clownfish caught my eye. They flitted in and out of a sea anemone’s tentacles as if they were trying to scratch themselves to get rid of an itch.
One of them decided to dart boldly towards me, stopping just in front of my mask.
It looked at me curiously, opening and closing its mouth before it shot away again.
And then just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, a giant sea turtle appeared, wading effortlessly through the water despite its size.
It looked totally relaxed and unhurried, as if it had all the time in the world.
I suppose it did. How long did turtles live?
How long had this one been swimming in these very waters?
The underwater scene was so magical and other-worldly that it felt like I’d been transported to another planet, one where gravity did not exist, sounds were muted and colours were brighter and sharper.
For a brief moment, I totally forgot about Cam.
Not to mention Amber and Victor and why I was even here.
Diamonds, cheaters, the Mafia . . . what were those anyway?
But then came a tap on my shoulder, dragging me back to reality.
I turned to find Cam waving his arms, and it took me a while to realise he was actually gesturing at something ahead of us.
Then he pointed, and beckoned me to follow him.
We swam past a patch of fiery coral, past a school of red and blue fish that just exploded out from behind a rock, and past another curious clownfish.
Cam turned back to check on me, his eyes crinkling slightly behind his mask as if to say, See?
This isn’t so bad. I resisted the urge to roll my own eyes, instead focusing on a pair of angelfish.
Their movements were so smooth and silky that I found myself hypnotised as they swam past me.
Cam’s hand closed over mine. My first instinct was to pull away, although as the hours on this stupid island went by, that instinct was becoming weaker by the moment.
So I let him hold it, and as we swam through the water, doing something so simple together, I felt something akin to that feeling I’d had when I stepped out of the spa . . . Relaxation. Letting go.
The water wrapped around us. Everything down here was calm and muffled; all I could hear was my heart, my breath and my bubbles. Lizzy was swimming just ahead of me, and I reached for her hand. I expected her to push me away, but she didn’t.
We’d never done anything like this before. Not once.
Those two years at the academy, all that ridiculous tension, the sparring, the endless banter – it had never bled into something normal. We’d never gone out for drinks. Never done anything even vaguely social.
But this? This was the kind of thing I used to imagine back when I let myself dare to think about it.
Waking up with her next to me, a lazy morning, a slow breakfast, and then something like this. Something that normal couples did together. I tightened my grip slightly, just enough to make sure she felt it. And still she didn’t pull away.
That made it worse, somehow.
Because this felt right, like it was what we should have been doing all along. All those years, wasted.
If I could go back, I would have run after her. Told her over and over again that it wasn’t what it looked like until she finally believed me. If it had taken months, years, at least she would have still been in my life. Only I didn’t do that. I let her walk away.
I should have fought for her. And maybe then we could’ve had a hundred of these afternoons. Scuba diving on coral reefs. Watching dumb movies on a couch we’d bought together. Making dinner, fighting over the music playlist, falling asleep. Just . . . being together.