Chapter 39
The path to the jungle pavilion was lined with rose petals. Somewhere inside the thick undergrowth, I thought I heard the sound of a gong and wind chimes.
‘Ridiculous,’ I muttered under my breath as I walked reluctantly on, Cam at my side.
‘Wow, your aura is not vibrating with positivity,’ he said.
‘Don’t ever say “aura” again,’ I warned him, but he only laughed.
We arrived at a clearing containing a circular wooden platform lined with gauzy white drapes.
Incense smoke curled through the air in lazy spirals.
Ambient chanting hummed from unseen speakers, and I was sure those bird noises and babbling brook sounds were not real either.
A woman emerged through the drapes as if she was somehow part of them; she might as well have been a drape herself, quite frankly, given that it looked like she was wearing one.
‘Namaste,’ she said. ‘I’m Sage.’
Of course she was.
She opened her arms in welcome, and a thousand shell bangles jangled together mystically. ‘Welcome to your Biometric Alignment Experience. Today we’ll open your channels to physical resonance, emotional recalibration and soul attunement.’
Cam coughed once, like he was trying not to laugh. I was trying not to run.
‘Come, let’s ground.’ She beckoned us onto the wooden platform and sat down cross-legged on a woven mat.
‘And by ground . . . you mean sit?’ I asked.
Sage smiled at me, dare I say it, sagely. ‘Don’t worry, most people arrive here sceptical, but they all leave enlightened.’
‘I don’t think you’ve had anyone like Lizzy before,’ Cam said, also lowering himself to the mat. I reluctantly followed suit. I could not wait for this whole ludicrous thing to be over.
‘Please face each another,’ Sage whispered. I looked across at Cam; the last bloody thing I wanted to do was face him, but when he started shuffling round, I realised I had no choice.
‘Good, lovely. Now place your hands on each other’s heart centres.’
‘Our what?’ I flicked my eyes at our instructor, healer, whatever. She demonstrated by gently laying her own hand over her heart.
‘Oh . . . chest! Right. And also . . . no,’ I said quickly.
She smiled at me knowingly. ‘We’ll start with something a little easier then. Hold your hands out in front of you and bring them close. They don’t have to touch yet.’
I sighed and raised my hands slowly. I could not believe I was doing this.
‘Come on, Lizzy, give me your hands,’ Cam teased, beckoning. I glared at him.
‘I could break another finger if you’re not careful.’
The instructor burst out laughing. Really laughing. ‘Wonderful, wonderful.’ She clasped her hands together with delight. ‘I love this dynamic! Such fiery passion! The way your energy vacillates between aggression and . . . something else . . . something deeper.’
‘There is nothing deeper, trust me.’
‘Yes!’ She pointed at me and clicked her fingers.
‘There it is. I see it, I hear it in your tone. Your sarcasm is a finely tuned weapon that I can’t wait to disarm.
Couples like you are always my most challenging, and most rewarding.
’ And then she did something that made me jump: she reached out and put her hand on the top of my head, doing the same to Cam.
‘I can feel it,’ she continued. ‘So many barriers, so much armour – and yet the threads between you are shimmering with history. Karmically knotted together . . . so beautiful. So much potential for deep, deep love and connection.’
She opened her eyes and looked at me specifically now, a look so sharp it could cut diamonds. ‘Lizzy, what a vibrant, radiant spirit you have. All fire and resistance – but beneath that, a heart overflowing with love. And I can see that your two souls have been dancing together for eternity.’
I rolled my eyes at her this time. I’d not meant to do it to her face, but it was just so hard not to. She burst out laughing again.
‘Oh Lizzy, I shouldn’t say this, but you are my favourite client I’ve ever had.’
I narrowed my eyes at this woman, unsure how the hell I should reply to that.
‘It needs no response, only breath,’ she said. She inhaled deeply, and indicated that Cam and I should do the same. I blinked rapidly . . . Holy shit, had this woman just read my mind?
‘Yes, let your breath break down the walls,’ she said as Cam took a deep breath.
‘Come now, Lizzy, let’s crumble those walls of yours,’ Cam teased.
Sage laughed again. ‘Wow! That is just so Cam. Lizzy hides the unspoken behind sarcasm, and Cam hides it behind humour.’ She beamed at us, truly beamed, as if her face might actually break open with it.
‘So many beautiful words just below the surface; I can’t wait for them to come out.
This is going to be special.’ She raised her brows at us. ‘Let’s get started.’
‘I thought we’d already started,’ I said.
‘Oh Lizzy, we haven’t even vaguely begun. By the time this is over, you are going to be a changed woman.’
I sighed in resignation. I suppose the sooner we did this, the better; besides, it wasn’t like anything was actually going to happen. No unspoken was emerging today, or ever.
‘Fine.’ I reached forward and put my hand on Cam’s chest. He tried to do the same to me, but my hand dived down and locked itself around his wrist.
‘No touching my . . .’ I wanted to say ‘tits’, but didn’t want to encourage Sage; for all I knew, she might have welcomed such a thing.
Cam smiled at me. ‘I think I can control myself . . . barely,’ he added, and then I felt his hand come to rest slowly and softly on the middle of my chest. His palm was warm against my skin, and I knew he could feel my heart beating. I hoped he hadn’t noticed how it had suddenly increased in tempo.
‘Now look at each other,’ Sage said, swishing her hands around in the air above our heads.
Slowly I dragged my eyes upwards, and when they finally collided with Cam’s blue ones . . . I knew my heart must have skipped a beat, or done something funny, because his eyes widened and he momentarily looked down at his hand on my chest.
Shit, said the voice in the back of my head, the one that always warned me when things were becoming a little too real, or emotional.
A crystal started swinging over my head and Sage began humming. ‘Close your eyes and go back to your childhood,’ she said.
‘Oh, for fuck’s sake.’ I hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but I knew I had when Sage laughed again.
A bell rang, the birds chirped louder and the smell of jasmine filled the air. Shit! Bad things happened when I inhaled jasmine. I tried to breathe through my mouth, but couldn’t.
‘Don’t fight it,’ Sage said. I let out another sigh. It was pointless to fight it anyway, because whether I liked it or not, this was happening. So I did what she said, and thought back to my childhood. And then something started happening . . .
It was crystal clear suddenly, the image in my head.
Young Lizzy, the version of me who had learned early on that emotions were dangerous, painful things and it was better to shut them down .
. . especially those ones. The ones that made you most vulnerable and opened you up to hurt.
Those emotions needed to have walls built around them.
That was the only way I had survived my childhood, and I guess it had continued into my adulthood as well.
‘Yes, Lizzy,’ Sage said softly. ‘Those walls are no longer necessary.’
I froze.
My eyes flicked up to her. ‘What?’
She smiled knowingly.
Oh my God. Was this woman psychic? Her eyes twinkled like she could hear me, like she’d cracked open my head and was now peering inside.
Oh fuck. She can definitely read my mind. And that was a problem.
Because if she could hear what was going on in my head . . .
She chuckled again. ‘Oh Lizzy, such a busy mind.’
Crap! I closed my eyes tightly and tried to build some kind of Star Trek force field around my thoughts to stop her from rummaging around in my head.
But it wasn’t working, because the feel of Cam’s hand on my chest and that damn flutter moving up my spine was too distracting.
Cam rubbed a thumb across my chest. It wasn’t sexual, not at all; it was something far worse than that . . .
Intimate.
‘Beautiful,’ whispered Sage. ‘And now it’s time to get into what I call the posture of primal honesty.’
I did not know what that was, but I did not like the sound of it. Every molecule in my body screamed nope. Hard pass.
But Sage just smiled at me – yup, she was a mind reader – and then floated across the mat like someone who was not bound by gravity.
‘Let me show you how it’s done.’ She pulled a cushion towards her. ‘Imagine this is Cam’s lap; you climb onto it like this, facing him, and gently wrap your arms and legs—’
‘Sorry, what?’ I blinked and then shuddered. ‘I don’t think I heard you correctly. I thought you might have said I should sit on Cam’s lap, but then I realised you couldn’t possibly have said that, right?’
‘You will resist, of course you will, but this is the most powerful posture of all.’ Sage breathed in and out in a slow, spiritual way.
Cam looked at me and raised one of his eyebrows.
‘Don’t,’ I warned him.
‘I didn’t say anything.’
‘You were thinking something.’
Sage smiled blissfully, looking from me to Cam and back again as if she was enjoying this.
‘Why do I have to be the one on his lap? Good to know the patriarchy is alive and well even here.’
Cam burst out laughing, but Sage looked very serious. ‘Lizzy, you’re absolutely correct, you do not have to be the one to sit on his lap. You have such a strong, holding body, I think Cam should sit on your lap.’
A holding body, what the hell did that mean?
‘I’m not sitting on your lap,’ Cam said sharply.
‘Why not?’ I demanded. ‘I thought you were the one who was into all this. By rejecting my lap you are rejecting spiritual healing itself.’
‘You can’t weaponise healing,’ Cam replied.
‘Watch me.’
‘Come, Cam, upsies!’ Sage patted my thigh.
‘Upsies, Cam!’ I repeated with a smirk.