Epilogue
Willow
Two years later…
Ishift the weight of the baby from my left hip to the right side. He squirms in my arms and reaches for the bowl of salad that I’m juggling in my other hand.
“Uh-uh, not for you,” I say gently and he pouts at me, making me laugh.
“You’ll get yours in a minute, don’t you worry little guy.”
Using my butt to push the door open, I take the salad from the kitchen into the main room of the clubhouse.
Gina frowns at me as she takes the bowl from my hands.
"Go sit down, Willow. We’ll take it from here."
"Are you sure? There’re still the potatoes to finish off.”
She gives a pointed look at my round belly and the one-year-old tugging on my hair.
“You should be resting.”
I don’t need to be told twice. Not that there’s any rest with a baby who crawls faster than I can walk.
I've been busy in the kitchen all day helping the other women prepare the food. It was easy when Dale was sleeping, but now he's awake and tugging at my T shirt looking for something to eat.
Gina gives me a warm smile. “Go feed your baby and put your feet up."
The tables have been pushed together so they’re ready for the club dinner. The smell of barbecue wafts in from outside, and the whole place has a festive feel to it.
I love these club dinners, the whole family getting together, because that’s what the club has become to me. A family.
I drag over my diaper bag and take a seat. It’s too tricky balancing Dale on my lap with him wiggling so much, so I set him on the ground while I pull out plastic tubs of baby food.
He’s off across the floor before I can stop him, making a beeline for Lily. He stops in front of her, tugging on her skirt until she notices him.
“Hello, Dale.” She scoops him into her arms, and he beams with pleasure. I can’t blame him. With Lily’s long flowing hair and bright green eyes, she’s a real beauty.
Jesse watches them from his table in the corner, a wistful look in his eyes, and I can’t help but think Dale’s not the only one who has a crush on the President’s daughter.
Lily brings Dale back to me, making him giggle as she bounces him on her hip. She nods at the tubs of baby food.
"You want me to heat that up for you?"
I give her a grateful smile. "Thank you.”
She hands Dale back to me, who gives a regretful sigh.
“Just 30 seconds in the microwave," I call after her.
"I know," she says over her shoulder.
If the saying is true that it takes a village to raise a child, then the clubhouse is my village. There’s always someone here to mind the kids if needed. The Pres installed a swing-set out back when he had his first kid, and now there are always kids around.
Dale's not just being raised by me and Pans. All the women here and the men too are looking out for him.
I feel Pans’s presence before I see him. The air in the clubhouse goes thick and I turn around to find his gaze on me, leaning on the back door and watching me with his son.
He walks in with some of the men. I don't ask questions about where they've been or what they've done. I've learned not to ask about club business.
Pans comes straight to me. And I see by the set lines of his face that it's something I don't want to know about.
I set Dale on the floor as Pans kneels in front of us.
His mouth presses to mine and I run my hands over his face, the bristly stubble so familiar to me now. I cup his cheeks in my hands and hold him there for a few minutes, letting him breathe in and out, releasing whatever’s troubling him.
By the time he looks up, he’s grinning.
“How’s my little man?”
He chucks his son under his chin and scoops him up off the floor. Dale squeals in delight, happy to be held by his father.
My heart warms for the man who gave me a family. Pans may not have exorcised all his demons, but I know he's a calmer man than when I first met him.
Pans refused counseling, so we do our own brand of healing.
In the bedroom, his beast comes out and I absorb his pain, craving his dark energy as much as he does.
Needing to feel him release into me. Afterwards, we’re both centered and connected.
He’s loving and affectionate in a way I never thought he could be.
We got married in a rush when we found out I was pregnant. Six months after Dale arrived, we found out I was pregnant again.
And who knows when it will stop. I love my baby, and I love this life.
Lily comes back with the baby food, and Pans sits Dale on his knee to feed him. I tell him about my day, and he tells me what he can of his.
Lily passes us again on her way to the kitchen, and I notice Jesse's eyes following her.
She's the Pres's daughter, and by that right she's out of bounds to all the men. But I've seen the way that Jesse always finds excuses to be near her.
A moment later he gets up and follows her into the kitchen. When he comes back, they're both carrying plates of food and she's laughing at something he said.
I smile to myself, wondering...
I spend a lot of time sitting and feeding and it gives me time to observe the club members. They're a good bunch of men and woman. They can be tough to outsiders, but they follow their own moral code.
I feel protected here. I always have, especially with Pans next to me. I know without a doubt what he would do to anyone who hurt me.
Dale smiles, and I break into a grin. I look up at Pans and he's grinning right back at me, both of us wrapped up in the love we have for our child. It suits my man, a smile on his face. I feel a surge of love go out to him as we share the look of proud parents.
Being a parent can be exhausting. But with Pans and the club by my side. I wouldn't have it any other way.
The food's brought to the table, and everyone takes a seat. There’s clinking of plates and chatter as we sit down as a family to eat.
This is my family, the family I’ve chosen or the family that chose me. I’ve never been sure which. I'm just glad I'm here.
We're halfway through the meal when the door opens abruptly. The men instantly scrape their chairs back, ready to face the intruder.
A tall man stands in the doorway, silhouetted by the burning orange light of sunset. All is silent for a minute. Then noise erupts all at once.
Bruno strides forward and slaps the man heartily on the back. Gage lets out a whoop and embraces the man like he’s a long lost brother.
I look around the table bewildered, wondering what’s going on. The other women look as confused as I am.
Apart from Gina. She's gone white as a sheet and her hand, poised halfway to her mouth holding a water glass, is trembling.
I look back at the stranger. He’s stepped into the light now and I can see he’s rugged and handsome, with a thick beard and sharp, intelligent eyes.
His gaze sweeps the room and lands on Gina. He smiles at her.
Gina gasps, and her glass smashes to the floor.
"Hi Gina." He's got a foreign brogue that may be Irish. "I'm back."