38. Noah - October
THIRTY-EIGHT
Noah - October
HOLD ME WHILE YOU WAIT - LEWIS CAPALDI
As I walked back into the reception, the glow of fairy lights and the lingering scent of flowers enveloped me. The lively music and laughter echoed around me, but the room felt hollow. I pushed back the tears that wanted to fall and forced a smile at the guests who mingled, clinking their glasses together in celebration while my mind spiraled.
I wandered aimlessly, chatting with locals and trying to appear busy so no one I knew well would have the chance to ask what was wrong.
Dorian appeared relaxed. And it pissed me off how he could just pretend everything was okay. He was crouched down, sharing a joke with Gracie, who was giggling uncontrollably. The two of them were the picture of happiness.
The reception started to wind down, and guests began filtering out, offering hugs and goodbyes. I caught snippets of happy chatter, making my heart heavier.
As I prepared to leave, I headed toward the exit, hoping to catch Dotty one last time before the night ended, but she was busy dancing with Trent, so I sent her a quick text instead. All I could think about was escaping.
As I reached the doorway, I nearly collided with Colt, who was walking in with a serious expression.
“Hey, Noah.” I could tell by the look on his face he had bad news.
What a day.
“Another one?” I asked, not wanting to hear the next words from his mouth.
“Yeah.” He grabbed the back of his neck, his long hair pulled back in a bun, his tattoos peeking out from the sleeves of his suit. “I wasn’t going to tell you or anything. Didn’t want to ruin the night.”
I felt my stomach drop. “This soon?”
He nodded, his brow furrowing deeper. “Yeah. I just found out. It’s not good.”
I straightened. “What did he leave behind?”
He hesitated, eyes lowering before returning to mine. “Nothing.”
My stomach twisted, and I took a sharp breath. “What do you mean?”
His tone lowered, his expression tense. “Not even a butterfly.”
“Zero?” I asked, disbelief swirling as John’s countdown replayed in my mind.
“Yeah… I think so.”
I forced myself to stay calm, but my mind raced as the full impact settled in. I only nodded in response.
The unease in his eyes clear even as he tried to hide it. “Are you leaving?” he asked, his tone cautious.
“Yeah, I’m going to head home.”
He hesitated, his brow furrowing deeper. “Are you going alone?”
I felt his concern pressing down on me. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. Promise.”
It was clear he wasn’t satisfied with that. “Can I drive you?”
“Colt…” I met his eyes, trying to get him to understand. “I’m okay. I’ll text you once I get there. I just really need to be alone right now.”
He stood there for a moment, his lips tight as if searching for a way to argue. “You should have someone with you, Noah. This isn’t safe.”
I pulled out my phone, tapped on the location settings, and shared it with him for the next twenty-four hours.
“Here. Now you can see exactly where I am. I’m going straight home.”
He glanced at the phone, his expression reluctant but resigned. “Fine,” he said. “Just… be careful, okay?”
“I will,” I promised, though I felt the knot of unease settle deeper in my stomach.
“Text me when you get there.”
I nodded, then turned, fleeing out of the building as I hurried down the steps and into the parking lot. The echoes of laughter and the wedding fading out behind me.
I’d almost convinced myself that maybe, just maybe, Dorian would have wanted something real with me.
But after our conversation, my heart sank deeper. Sliding into my car, I pulled out my phone, only for the screen to flash once before going black. Dead.
Starting the engine, I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm my racing thoughts. As I drove, the dark road ahead was dimly lit by streetlights, but every mile was just a reminder of how heavy the last year of my life had been.
After a few miles, a jolt interrupted me, and the car lurched violently to one side. I wrestled the wheel, managing to pull over as the shredded rubber slapped against the asphalt.
Of course.
I pulled over to the side of the road and stepped out of the car. As I approached the front passenger side, my heart sank at the obvious flat tire.
“Perfect timing,” I groaned. It felt like the universe was conspiring against me.
I could probably change it myself with the help of a video, but in this dress, at night… with a dead phone. That wasn’t going to happen.
Plus, I had no idea what else might be lurking in the dark and already hit my quota of shit hitting the fan today.
Rain started to come down, and I glanced around, searching for an alternative, or even just something to keep me going.
Woodstone was still somewhat foreign to me, and I didn’t know the layout well enough to find help on foot in the dark.
But there was one house I was familiar with close by—Dorian’s. The thought of going there sent my heart racing, a chaotic mix of longing and dread intertwining. I hesitated, wrestling with my thoughts as I trudged through the downpour.
Dorian was scared, and I’d seen that fear in his eyes before I ran out. He wanted to protect me, to shield me from the darkness he believed would follow if he let himself get closer.
That fear struck a chord. It reminded me of the warnings I’d heard my whole life—my parents always telling me I was too trusting, too caring, too much. And with John, those warnings became reality. He’d drawn me in with his charm, his smile hiding the monster beneath. The betrayal shattered something in me, cutting deeper than losing him ever could.
Rain fell on my cheeks as those memories surfaced again. I didn’t want to let myself get close to Dorian. I convinced myself it was something fun and lighthearted, something I needed after everything with John.
As I approached his house, my steps slowed, doubt creeping in as I hovered just outside.
Should I really be here? What if he told me to leave? What if he didn’t want to see me? What if he closed the door and turned away?
But the weight of my fear felt less important in that moment.
I needed to feel safe.
And he always made me feel safe.
We’d had a knack for sidestepping the hard conversations, finding solace in simply being there for each other when it mattered most. I would set everything else aside if I had to, just for tonight, and call a truce if it meant getting one more night.
With a shaky hand, I knocked on the door. I stood there, the chill of the rain seeping through my dress as my heart pounded in my ears.
When the door swung open, revealing Dorian, his expression shifted from surprise to concern, and I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. They spilled over, mingling with the raindrops, as I found myself searching his eyes for the reassurance I craved.