12. Josh
TWELVE
JOSH
I ’d stayed out in the barn long past when I needed to, hoping not to have any more conversations with Zoe about my mindset.
It’s not that it was a bad idea, but I didn’t have it in me to talk about my feelings with much of anyone.
Even sharing with my sisters was incredibly hard.
I gave both Indigo and Sugar their rubdowns and left them both with their tasty feed and some apple halves.
Sugar looked like she was in horse heaven as she chomped down on the sweet treat.
Having run out of chores to do, I headed for the house.
As I walked in, the smell of Shannon’s chili and cornbread hit me and my stomach growled in response.
I’d missed lunch—which I knew not to do—because I had been hiding from my feelings and Zoe.
But the spicy scent of chili powder and cumin was too much.
I quickened my pace and took the steps to the porch two at a time.
Walking into the kitchen, I was surprised to only see Shannon. “Hey,” she said, waving a ladle at me. “We just ate. Since you’re here, help yourself and put the leftovers away when you’re done.” She didn’t wait for a reply before heading upstairs .
I grabbed a large bowl and scooped out a generous portion, loading on some of the toppings Shannon had left out—chopped onions, cheese, and guacamole, I added a large square of cornbread to the edge of my bowl and headed to my office to do some work but I never made it there.
Instead, I ended up in the sitting room and turned on the television.
On a whim, I searched for and found Mortal Kombat and queued it up to watch.
A part of me hoped that Zoe might come down again to watch with me.
The other part was worried that she might, as I still wasn’t prepared to talk about that kiss.
But it didn’t stop me from replaying that moment over and over.
By the time the movie was over, my bowl was empty, and there were no visits from Zoe.
It was only then that I remembered Shannon had told me to put everything away, but when I got to the kitchen, it had already been done for me.
The leftovers had been put away and the pot had been scrubbed clean.
If it had been Shannon who found the chili still out, I was certain she would have tracked me down to yell at me rather than cleaning up for me without a word.
So that left Zoe. If that was the case, why didn’t she say hi?
As I mounted the steps to go to bed, I worried that I’d gone too far with that kiss and Zoe was now avoiding me.
Why were Zoe’s hands down my pants? And when had she become so aggressive ? Not that I was complaining. I loved the way she was making me feel. But we’d just jumped from reacquainting ourselves to lovers in a heartbeat.
I groaned as Zoe adjusted her grasp on my cock.
If we weren’t careful, we were going to get caught.
The illicit thrill of hiding out in the barn only heightened the sensations as she stroked my shaft, creating a tight spiral of arousal that currently gripped the base of my spine.
She was making me wild with desire. I pushed against her hand as she changed her rhythm, letting out another low groan as my arousal grew so intense that it bordered on pain.
She looked up at me with those eyes, the ones that said she wanted to fuck me right then and there, and I crashed my mouth into hers.
The kiss was frantic and messy, like we’d both been waiting too long to act on the feelings we’d kept buried, and depriving ourselves had made us more desperate to taste one another.
“I want you so bad, Josh,” Zoe whimpered against my mouth. “Touch me, please. Make me feel good. You were always so good at that.”
The way her voice trembled fueled my desire, and I almost shot off in her hand.
But I needed to pace myself, so I could give her what she was begging for.
I traced my hand down her body, teasing my way over her breasts.
I was surprised to see that she wasn’t wearing a bra.
Her nipples strained against the thin fabric of her T-shirt.
I cupped her breast and let my thumb glide over her hard nipple, causing Zoe to shiver.
I moved to strip her shirt off of her but momentarily lost myself in the rhythm she had going on my cock.
I thrust against her hand and felt her grip slide away. I wanted to growl in frustration as I waited for her to close her hand around my hard length again. I thrust into the air. Why was she teasing me like this?
I finally reached down to guide her back only to wake up and find my dick in my own hand. I was just seconds from coming.
I threw my hands on the bed on either side of my body and shut my eyes. It was bad enough that I’d slipped up and kissed her in real life, now here she was giving me a nocturnal hand job and making me feel like a thirteen-year-old? I needed to get the ridiculousness under control .
But did I? We were both adults now, and Zoe was going to be at the ranch for a while, so why couldn’t we have a little fun together?
It was the first time in forever that I actually wanted to consider getting involved with anyone, even temporarily.
I was sure something had passed between us when I helped her off Indigo, a spark that jolted both of us.
And she hadn’t hauled off and slapped me for the kiss so…
I felt my dick pulsing at the thought of kissing her again—harder this time, longer, and with her enthusiastic participation.
No. Down, boy.
Zoe was only going to be around for a month, and there was no way I was going to end up in the same situation as before.
She’d broken my heart once already, saying that she couldn’t do long-distance and that our summer romance had run its course.
But what if I didn’t let my heart get involved this time around? What if it was just…physical?
I felt the stirring start again so I hopped out of bed.
Too late, my boxer briefs were already tented out in front of me.
Zoe had always had that effect on me. Just thinking about being with her in the vaguest terms was enough to get me hard.
I certainly wasn’t celibate. I’d dated since Zoe and had sex with other women.
But it had been different with Zoe in ways that I still couldn’t articulate, beyond knowing what a strong sense of loss I’d felt once she was gone.
I sighed in frustration. It was only five a.m., would it make sense just to take care of myself quickly, before starting the day? I let my hand wander down my torso and slip under the elastic. I gripped my cock and closed my eyes.
And saw Zoe’s face.
Nope . Dreams were one thing, but if I consciously got off to the thought of her, I wouldn’t be able to look her in the eye later .
The only solution was a nice, cold shower, to freeze the steamy thoughts before they took over. I stripped off my briefs, ignoring my raging hard on, and headed for the shower.
Ten minutes later I had my brain in order again so I could focus on the day ahead.
I felt like I had a million things to do to get ready for the trail riding expansion since Zoe was charging full speed ahead with the marketing for the website.
First up was connecting with Eli Carter, the friend of a friend I’d heard was looking for work.
I had always been impressed by both his knowledge and easygoing nature.
He’d gone to high school with Fiona, and the one time I’d mentioned Eli’s name around my sister, she’d scoffed, but it wasn’t like it mattered if the city girl liked my new employee or not.
She hardly spent any time at the ranch and certainly didn’t have a say in who I hired.
If I could get Eli to come on board, I’d be one step closer to launching the program that could help save the ranch. I wished it was the only thing I had to worry about as Zoe’s face flitted through my thoughts again.