20. Eli
Eli
“Where’s See-See?” asks Henry as soon as he comes out of his room. “Did she leave?” He sticks out his bottom lip.
God, the effect this woman has on my nephew is huge.
“Sienna’s not feeling very good today.” I walk past Henry and start slicing bread—gluten free, just how Sienna likes it, except for this morning when she went green in the face and almost vomited all over the floor.
This news must really be affecting her.
Later, I start to prepare dinner, sure she’ll come out of her room soon. But the hands on the clock are reaching six, and she still hasn’t come out.
I knock on the door.
“Go away,” she groans.
“I’m coming in.” I open the door when she doesn’t reply and find her curled up in bed scrolling on that damn phone.
I resist the urge to tear it from her hands, but I agree with Knox on this. She needs time to see everything in order to figure things out for herself.
“Are you planning on coming out of your room any time today?”
“I’m fine here, thanks,” she says, eyes still glued to her phone.
I see the reflections of the screen in her eyes as she scrolls through different news pages, trying to make sense of things.
I sit on the edge of the bed and glance over her shoulder. “They certainly have a lot to say about you.”
“Trust me, you haven’t seen the worst of it.” She clicks the phone off and tosses it aside. “Why are you here?”
“You haven’t eaten all day.”
“Where I come from, that’s a cause for celebration.”
“You need food, Sienna.” I pause, debating whether to say this next bit. “And Henry’s wondering where you are.”
Her lips turn down. “Okay. I’ll be out shortly.”
I stare at her phone. It still feels like my duty to take it away from her, to stop her suffering. Her eyes are red from all the crying, and it hurts to see her like this.
As an older brother, it was always my responsibility to step up and be a shoulder for people to cry on. But, in this case, I don’t think she wants that. I should probably just leave. Let her figure this out herself.
That being said, a little guidance can’t hurt. It might lead her in the right direction.
“Who exactly are you, Sienna?”
“Jesus, what kind of question is that?” she scoffs, bringing her knees to her chest. Her body is still swaddled in sheets. “I thought you already knew who I was... what I do.”
“I don’t mean what you do for a living. I mean, who are you beneath all of that? Take away the fame, what people think of you—what’s left?”
Sienna chews on the corner of her mouth and picks at a loose thread on the sheet. “Nothing interesting.”
“That can’t be true.”
The woman who ventured up here last week wearing impractical shoes and a polished smile isn’t the same woman I’m staring at now.
Something has changed. She’s lighter. More carefree.
At least until last night, when it all fell apart.
Before that, I got a glimpse of the real Sienna when I caught her teaching Henry dance moves.
Limbs so graceful, total concentration on her face.
I think he brings out the best in her, and vice versa.
Her leaving will be a problem—but I already knew this.
In a way, I’m glad we were caught. It gives her an excuse to stay here longer. If that’s truly what she wants.
Sienna glares at me, frowning. “Why are you asking this?”
“I suppose I’m trying to help you figure out who you are away from work.”
“Work and life are interchangeable. There is no version of me that exists outside of Hollywood.” Sienna jumps up, pulling her shirt down over her sweatpants. “To answer your question—I don’t know who I am anymore.”
She shoves past me. “And since when did it become your business to ask me shit like this? If I want a shrink, I’ll pay for one.”
“I’m just trying to?—”
“Help?” asks Sienna, heading to the door. “Well, it’s not really helping.” She slams the door, leaving me alone in Knox’s room.
Lots of built-up emotion often translates to anger.
When a person ignores their emotions and lives without acknowledging the not-so-nice parts about themselves, explosions happen, and this is what’s happening with Sienna now.
She’s hurt, and what happened last night has blown the lid off the pot.
She’s past her boiling point and doesn’t quite know how to react.
Perhaps it was best for me to mind my own business, but I can’t help it. I’ve always been someone that people vent to. It’s part of my identity.
I leave the room, head back toward the kitchen, lock eyes with Knox in the hallway, and realize that maybe I screwed up.
“Don’t tell me you went full shrink mode on her?”
“No, man,” I say. “I asked one question, and she got pissy and walked out.”
“She needs to figure?—”
“Things out herself, yes, no need to say it again. But how can she do that if she doesn’t know what she’s supposed to figure out?”
Knox levels me a glare and zips up his jacket, leaving me in the hallway. The nylon swooshes under his arms as he makes his way to the main room, opening the front door.
“If you’re going out,” calls Sienna. “Be a doll and fetch me some tampons. It’s about to be that time of the month.”
Knox stiffens up. “You got it.” He walks rigidly out the door.
The wind has picked up this evening, but it’s nothing like it was during the blizzard. A gust howls into the cabin, lifting the drapes and the ends of Sienna’s hair as she sits down on the couch, staring at the fire again, as if it contains all the answers she’s looking for.
I stand in the kitchen, watching her make eyes at Cash. There have been no snide comments today, and earlier, I caught him looking sorry for her. It must have been a mistake, though. That guy doesn’t have an ounce of empathy.
Anger burns under my skin as I watch them talk. It’s nothing much, just boring weather stuff. But it’s enough to force me out through the back door.
I’m grabbing an axe before I know it, feeling the sweet weight of steel in my hands as I launch the axe at the tree.
It cuts through the air and lands exactly where I want it to, the toe wedged into the bark. I exhale, my breath pluming out in front of me. The snow is gone for the most part, but the air is still crisp, cooling the sweat on my skin.
I throw the axe again, watching it slam into the tree.
The truth is, I’m still reeling from last night. Cash shouldn’t have pulled Sienna into his room. He doesn’t even like her. Not really. He said he doesn’t have to like someone to fuck them. That’s a new low, even coming from him.
And yet Sienna was moaning, her body glued to his, when Knox and I found them alone in Cash’s room.
I thought we were all going to end up in a brawl, and I’m still shocked by what actually ended up happening.
That was absolutely the best sex I’ve ever had. But it’s so fucked up that we were all there together.
I retrieve the axe and launch it back at the tree as my mind wanders.
Knox has been celibate for years and ended his streak just like that.
I’m guessing Knox has been tempted many times before. We rent out the small cabin over the summer, sometimes to women. They make advancements, even the ones who are here with their partners. But Knox always shakes his head and declines.
There have been some hot women, too. Like, really hot.
We rented to a Victoria’s Secret model a couple of years back, and she was giving all three of us the eye every chance she got.
Cash and I went there, separately, of course.
Knox declined in the stoic way he always does, and went about his day, analyzing the weather forecasts and taking hikes.
I fling the axe again, desperate to clear my head. Knox pursuing Sienna is a concern because it means he likes her as much as I do.
Cash is also one to watch. He usually backs off after taking women to bed.
I pull the axe from the bark and go again.
We keep our sex lives separate. It’s always been that way. The foursome last night was accidental, and it cannot happen again. I will not share a woman with Cash and Knox.
I’ve never felt this way about a woman before. There’s more to Sienna than me wanting her body. I really don’t know what to make of this whole thing.
I throw the axe with everything I’ve got, hoping to alleviate the pull in my chest that’s getting worse. I knew Sienna was going to be a problem. But I didn’t expect this.
I pull the axe from the tree, twirling it in my hands. The blade glints in the sunset when I turn it a certain way, almost as bright as those camera flashes from last night.
The axe throwing was a complete waste of my time. I actually feel worse now rather than better.
I twirl it one last time and launch it out into the forest. It hits a tree, and the clang echoes loudly through the woods as I stare into space.
My body is already aching with grief, and I haven’t even lost Sienna yet.