Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
“ A nd you still haven’t heard from him?” Libby handed her the cup of coffee and sat down opposite her. “What about school? Have you seen him there?”
Charlotte glanced down at her coffee, and her stomach clenched. “No, I don’t know if he’s avoiding me on purpose or if we’re just both busy.”
Either way, she hadn’t spoken to Patrick since that night a few days ago when she wound up on his doorstep and made her tearful confession. Since then, it had been radio silence, and Charlotte couldn’t tell if she was relieved or heartbroken. On the one hand, it was good to know where he stood on the matter. On the other hand, she hated the fact she’d killed their chances at a future without even trying.
Why couldn’t the timing have been better?
Why hadn’t Patrick asked her out sooner?
You’re the one who decided to turn your whole life upside down with very little warning. You can’t blame Patrick for needing a beat to process everything.
Except she hated not knowing whether he was coming back, or if she’d lost his friendship for good too.
Libby reached across the table and patted her hand. “He’ll come to his senses. He has to, and if he doesn’t, it’s better if you know now anyway.”
She knew the sentiment was meant to make her feel better, but it didn’t.
It only made her feel worse, like she was the biggest idiot in the world for thinking she could have her cake and eat it too.
Nothing except time was going to make anything okay, and even then, she had her doubts.
Charlotte’s mouth felt dry as she swallowed. “Yeah, I guess. What about you? How are things with Annie?”
Libby grimaced and took a long sip of her coffee. “The house is a war zone, not that I can blame her. We haven’t had a conversation that didn’t end in pleading or slammed doors in weeks.”
Charlotte frowned. “Do you have any idea if she’s still seeing that guy?”
Libby shook her head, and her expression tightened. “I decided to stop following her, even though I want to, but it really isn’t helping anyone.”
“I’m sure it’s for the best.”
Continuing to invade Annie’s privacy was only going to make things worse. As far as Charlotte was concerned, Annie and Libby needed to find a way to meet in the middle before their house turned into ground zero.
With a sigh, the two women drank their coffee, each lost to their own thoughts.
When Charlotte’s phone vibrated to indicate an incoming text, she fished it out of her pocket. “Addison and Mason are going to meet me at the clinic.”
Libby downed the rest of her drink. “Are you sure you’re comfortable with me being there for the ultrasound? I know it’s a private thing.”
Charlotte pushed her chair back and smiled. “I want you there.”
Having one more friend in her corner made her feel better, especially when her mom hadn’t been able to get away from work.
Libby snatched the take-out bag off the table, and they set off together. The walk to the clinic was quiet, with Charlotte doing her best not to let her mind wander. But by the time they made it there, she was sweating, and her mind had dreamed up all sorts of scenarios, including a pregnancy that wasn’t viable and ending with her being on the operating table.
In the doorway to the clinic, Charlotte froze.
It was Libby who pushed her inside the rest of the way and brought her a plastic cup full of water. She made Charlotte sit down and drink. Then, she stepped behind her desk and typed a few things into her laptop. Charlotte’s fingers were trembling as she looked around for the bin and spotted it across the room.
The cup spun in a circle before it landed in the middle.
Libby came back and sat down next to her. “It’s going to be okay.”
Addison and Mason arrived a short while later in a flurry of activity. Addison sat down on her left while Mason sank into the seat opposite her. The two of them were still talking over each other while Charlotte’s heart pounded. Libby gave her hand another squeeze and stood.
She disappeared down the hallway, and Charlotte leaned back against the wall.
Was she actually going to be sick?
How much of it was nerves, and how much of it was morning sickness?
With a slight shake of her head, Charlotte found herself smoothing out her skirt. Libby appeared with a bright smile and paused to tuck her blouse into her skirt. Then, she motioned to them, and the three of them stood up at the same time. Charlotte trailed after Addison and Mason, who were holding hands and exchanging smiles.
In the cream-colored office, Charlotte stopped to give Libby her purse. She hopped onto the exam chair, stretched her legs out, and exhaled. A nurse in pink scrubs yanked on a small curtain, separating the bottom half of her body from view. Charlotte’s fingers trembled as she undid the button of her jeans and pushed them down. Dr. Reese slid the stool over to her and snapped her latex gloves on.
“Are you ready?”
Charlotte swallowed. “Sure.”
Dr. Reese squeezed cold gel onto her bare stomach and reached for the transducer. Addison and Mason stood on the other side of the room with their backs pressed against the wall. Libby hovered near the shelving unit in the back.
Charlotte’s heart was pounding loud enough to drown out everything else.
Until the transducer touched her skin, and Dr. Reese began to root around.
For a long moment, nothing happened, and unease began to creep up Charlotte’s spine. She shifted and opened her mouth, all thoughts flying out the window when she heard it. As soon as the baby’s heartbeat filled the room, everyone except for the doctor and nurse burst into tears.
“There it is.” Dr. Reese typed something into the screen and smiled. “That’s the baby right there.”
Charlotte didn’t hear a word after that.
Addison and Mason’s mouths were moving, but her eyes were glued to the screen. She kept studying the image, no bigger than a lentil, and enjoying the swell of emotion in her chest. The nurse handed her a tissue, and Charlotte wiped her stomach, trying to keep the tremor out of her hands. Then, she pulled up her jeans and hopped off the table.
In a daze, she let Addison and Mason lead her outside into the early morning sun. Libby gave her a quick hug before ducking back inside. In the car, she still couldn’t make out what her friends were saying. After dropping her off in front of the school, Charlotte stumbled out of the back seat and found herself wandering into the auditorium.
There, she sat down in the front row and buried her face in her hands.
A long moment passed where Charlotte sat there, trying to take it all in. In the pocket of her jeans, the picture of the baby felt heavy, and it weighed on her. She shoved the thought out of her mind, stood up, and climbed the stairs. Charlotte was rummaging through some of the boxes and frowning at the script when the doors to the auditorium opened.
She grew absolutely still when Patrick appeared.
“I didn’t see your name on the sign-up sheet.” Patrick stopped underneath the stage and folded his arms over his chest. “Are you okay?”
Charlotte’s throat felt tight. “Yeah, I…I came in late today. First ultrasound.”
Patrick’s expression gave nothing away. “I still can’t believe you didn’t tell me. I thought we were friends.”
“We are friends—”
“Not the kind of friends who share things, apparently,” Patrick interrupted with a shake of his head. “I thought we had a better relationship than that.”
Charlotte sank onto the stool and swallowed. “I understand you’re upset, but I really didn’t mean to hurt you. This is all new to me too.”
She’d spent weeks trying to come clean to him and imagining every scenario in the book.
But what she hadn’t anticipated was Patrick questioning their friendship altogether. She hadn’t told him because she was afraid of the consequences, of jeopardizing what could’ve been, but as she turned his words over in her head, her heart broke even further.
Was Patrick right?
Patrick unfolded his arms and ran a hand over his face. “I like you, Charlotte. I like you a lot, and I’ve liked you for a while, but the timing never seemed to be right.”
Had she only been thinking of herself when she didn’t tell him?
Had she misread the situation entirely?
Charlotte’s heart jumped into her throat. “I know that things are a little hectic right now, but it doesn’t mean we can’t try—”
“That’s exactly what it means. You can’t just—”
They had to try; otherwise, what was it all for?
She couldn’t stomach the thought that she’d single-handedly ruined it for herself.
Charlotte gasped and clutched her stomach. A sharp jab of pain raced through her. Patrick sprang into action and draped her arm over his shoulders. He helped her hobble into the bathroom located backstage and lingered outside. She pressed her face against the wall and waited for the dizziness to pass.
When she pulled down her pants and wiped, horror crept up her back.
Why was she bleeding?
Charlotte didn’t remember crying out to Patrick. All she knew was she ended up on the floor of the bathroom, her knees drawn to her chest. Patrick’s face loomed in and out of her field of vision, his hands cool against her flushed skin. Then, a pair of uniformed paramedics in blue and black appeared.
She was hoisted onto a gurney and wheeled away.
Charlotte had her arm draped over her stomach the entire time and kept trying to remember how to breathe.
The baby is fine. It’s okay.
She squeezed her eyes shut and ignored the world around her. When she opened her eyes again, she was being wheeled through the gray hospital walls, the smell of disinfectant and sweat washing over her. Monitors beeped in the background, and the sound of squeaking shoes penetrated through the haze.
Someone shined a light in her eye, and she flinched.
She heard Addison and Mason and sat up in bed. Addison threw her arms around her while Mason clenched and unclenched his hands. Charlotte’s hands were still shaking, and bile coated her tongue. Addison and Mason exchanged worried looks and kept glancing over at her.
But she was too scared to reassure them, especially when she wasn’t even sure what was wrong.
Was it the fight with Patrick that got her worked up?
Was her body rejecting the baby?
Tears spilled down her face as she buried her face in her hands. Everything went quiet for a while as Charlotte cried. Then, she heard a familiar voice and found herself looking into her mom’s face. A sob caught in Charlotte’s throat as she threw her arms around Emily and squeezed.
Emily pulled a chair closer to the bed and took both of her hands in hers. “You have nothing to worry about, sweetheart. A little bleeding is normal. I’m sure your doctor will tell you that once she gets here.”
Charlotte’s tongue felt awkward and heavy. “I’m sorry.”
Emily’s brows furrowed together. “Sweetheart, you have nothing to apologize for. Sometimes, these things happen. Why don’t you lie down and try to think about something else?”
Charlotte held her mother’s hand in a deathlike grip. “I shouldn’t have been arguing with Patrick.”
Especially when he’d already made up his mind about her.
About them .
Why had she even bothered?
And why was she stupid enough to think she could’ve had it all?
Charlotte lifted her gaze to the ceiling and swallowed. “Is there any news about the doctor?”
“I’m sure Addison will tell us when there is. Now, why don’t I try and get your mind off of things?”
Charlotte twisted her head to stare at her mother, who, she suddenly realized, was still in a flour-coated apron and had wisps of hair escaping from her bun. “Okay.”
“So, you remember how Jack told us that Liam—Aunt Lily’s kid—was in town to meet up with the McNealys? Well, I don’t know about you, but I thought it was weird because he’s a criminal lawyer. Turns out the McNealys do need his services. They’re being charged with money laundering and fraud.”
Charlotte’s mouth fell open. “How?”
Emily shrugged. “I don’t know, but I heard that…”
Charlotte only half listened to the rest of the story, letting her mother’s voice wash over her as she did. The longer she listened, the calmer she felt until she was lulled into a state of half-sleep. Before she drifted off, she draped an arm over her stomach and sent up a quick prayer.
You’re going to be okay, bean. We’re going to be okay.