Chapter 24
twenty-four
GAGE
I’m leaning against the bar when I feel the air shift. I’m not totally shocked by it—the fact that I sense her in the room before I see her. Just like when I first saw her on the courthouse steps, my attention was immediately drawn to her. The only difference from that first moment to this one is now I know her. Now I understand that haunted look in her eye, and now I want even more desperately to help erase it.
I haven’t seen Ava since she left my place two days ago on Christmas morning. We didn’t talk anymore about telling Declan or anyone else what was going on between us that morning, but we did make a list of things she’s interested in trying.
Even after everything the two of us shared, it was easy and comfortable between us. There was no pressure to be someone else. There was no pressure to come up with something for us to do—we just existed in the same space. And I want to do it again and again.
I smile as I see Ava grimace at something Quinn says to Declan before there’s a brief exchange and Ava turns for the bar, picking her way through the crowd.
Friday nights are always busy at Murphy’s—definitely busier than she’s used to seeing on our Thursday evenings—but she doesn’t seem to care.
Ava finds an open spot at the bar and catches Walt’s attention, placing her order before he turns away to take another. I should stay where I am and let her do her own thing, but I can’t stay away from her.
Grabbing my beer, I force myself into the spot next to Ava before someone else can. And from the grunt behind me, someone was very close to taking this spot.
“Rebel,” I croon in her ear.
Ava turns, a small smile on her lips. She doesn’t seem surprised to see me or troubled that I’ve stepped up to her side. Taking a chance, I step even closer—her arm brushing my chest.
“Gage.” There’s a teasing lilt to her tone, and my smile grows. I can feel my dimples pop. “What are you doing here?”
“Is it bad if I say I wanted to see you? Even if I wasn’t sure I’d actually get to talk to you?”
While I haven’t seen Ava, we’ve talked over the last two days. For instance, I know she still came to Murphy’s last night. And while she had intended to spend the evening sitting at the bar talking to Walt, she ended up having a meal with my parents.
Have I talked to them more about Ava since Christmas Eve? Only to tell them she made it home safe and that I have indeed seen and spoken to her. I didn’t want to tell them more and break Ava’s trust in me. It’s easier to keep things simple while talking about Ava with them.
Were they the ones who told me they had dinner with her last night? No, they were not. That was Ava—when she also told me she would be at Murphy’s this evening with her family.
They want to help introduce her to the town now that she’s officially moving to Ashford Falls. Of course, Ava’s already well acquainted with this part of town—not that she shared that with her family.
I also know from our conversation last night that she’s starting at the bookstore a week earlier than originally planned—something Ava’s really happy about—and that we won’t be going on our hike this weekend.
The news about the hike is why I decided to hang out at Murphy’s, hoping to steal a couple minutes of her time.
“That’s some serious honesty there,” Ava jokes.
“Well, I like the knowledge that we haven’t lied to each other. I’m not going to be the one to break that streak—even on something as small as this.”
“Hmm,” she hums, turning to lean against the bar, bringing her chest to chest with me. “If I’m being honest?—”
“Which you definitely should be,” I interrupt, brushing my hand against her arm resting on the bar.
“I like that we don’t lie to each other as well—even on something as small as this.”
“So, you’re not mad that I’m stalking you?” I tease.
“So you’re admitting to stalking me?” she counters, her eyebrows raising.
If I didn’t see the spark in her eye or know her as well as I do, I might think she was really upset with me, but I do know her, and I know she’s enjoying the banter.
Before I can say anything else, there’s a commotion at the end of the bar, drawing everyone’s attention. I feel Ava’s hand fall to my arm, squeezing slightly.
“You okay?” I ask, turning back to her, concern etched across my face at the look on hers. I follow her line of sight to the table her brother sits at and see Quinn standing.
“That’s Quinn’s mother,” Ava whispers. I bring my focus back to Ava. “It’s such a complicated story for all of them,” she mumbles.
“I can understand complicated family dynamics,” I offer, glancing back at Quinn and Caleb before turning back to Ava. “But they’ve got a great support system around them, and you being here to help is going to make all the difference.”
“Yeah.” Her eyes come back to mine. “You’re right. They do have a great support system.” The corner of her mouth lifts in a small smile. “They remind me a little of your family.”
“Oh, you mean they like embarrassing each other and forcing their way into other people’s lives?” I roll my eyes, and Ava laughs.
“They love you.”
“They can love me and not force their way into my—” I cut myself off, not entirely sure how to finish that statement. “Well, into your life,” I finish lamely.
Ava’s hand, still resting on my arm, squeezes again. “It definitely seemed a little like an ambush.” She laughs.
“Oh, it was. Small town living, remember? Most people know we’re here Thursday nights. My parents might have known I was working last night, but they obviously hoped you’d still show up. Perfect opportunity for my mother to meet you.”
“Sorry for the wait, love. It’s a little crazy here tonight.” Walt drops her drinks on the bar, and before she can say anything, he’s called away again.
Ava watches him walk away, concern crossing her face. “Doesn’t he have another bartender or something?”
“Technically? Yes, but he doesn’t schedule them very often. Normally only when he goes out of town to visit his son.” Ava turns to look at me, shock evident in her eyes, and before she can say anything, I continue. “It’s hard for him to trust other people with the bar. I don’t know the full story, but his dad bought the place shortly after moving here from Ireland. He built it up from nothing and took a lot of pride in the place. Walt almost lost it a few months after his dad passed. He’s barely left ever since.”
“That’s so sad,” Ava mumbles.
“It’s worse when you find out his son never visits.”
Ava’s head whips to mine. “What?” she gasps.
“If you want another complicated story, it’s that one. It’s also the only secret this town doesn’t know.”
“For such a small town, there sure is a lot of drama.”
“We’ve gotta keep it interesting.” I laugh.
We stand there, just staring at each other. My eyes drift to her lips and I desperately want to kiss them. I don’t know for sure, but I think it’s both of us that start to lean in.
Before our lips brush, something registers for Ava because she places her hand on my chest, pushing me away gently, regret pouring from her eyes.
“I should get these drinks over to the table.”
I take a small step back, my eyes falling to the ground for a second before I manage a smirk in her direction. “Yeah.”
“I’ll talk to you later?” she asks as she picks up her drinks.
“Sure. I’m around.” And for Ava, I probably always will be.
Ava and I might not go on a hike over the weekend, but I do convince all three of my siblings to join me on an easy hike through Whispering Pines Trail Saturday morning.
I got lucky and saw everyone together for an hour on Christmas before leaving for my shift at the station, and I talked them into the hike. I’ve wanted more time with my siblings, and with Asher heading back to school and the season starting soon, we’ll be lucky to get any time with him over the next five months.
“So, when do the rest of us get to meet your girlfriend?” Leo snickers from the front of the group.
“You have a girlfriend?” Olivia practically shouts from beside me.
“No, I don’t have a girlfriend. Leo is just being a twerp.”
“What Gage means to say is that he doesn’t have a girlfriend, but he wishes he did,” Asher jumps in on the razzing.
“What?” Another shout from Olivia.
“Okay, that’s enough of that. Ava and I are just friends. Mom and Dad just don’t want to believe that and decided to ambush her at Murphy’s one night. You’ll meet her whenever you meet her.” I shrug.
“But do you want her to be your girlfriend?” Olivia asks.
Do I want Ava to be my girlfriend? For the first time since high school, yes, I want to be in a serious relationship—but only if it’s with Ava Day.
I thought it was just the mystery of Ava that had me so intrigued and invested in spending time with her. But I know the answer to the mystery now, and I still desperately want to spend time with her. While I love my siblings and am honestly glad we’re getting this day together, I’d rather be doing something with Ava—even if it’s just sitting at home watching TV or reading a book.
There’s still so much for me to learn about her—and for her to learn about me—but I want to. I haven’t experienced wanting to learn more about someone else for well over a decade.
So, yeah, I want Ava to be my girlfriend. But am I going to tell my sister that? Probably not. But I also don’t want to lie to her. Honesty might be something Ava and I are known for with each other, but it’s something I strive for with everyone in my life.
“It’s not just about what I want. Being in a relationship is about both people.” Olivia opens her mouth, but I continue before she can ask something else I might not be able to talk my way around. “And more importantly, it’s a conversation that should be had between those two people before anyone else.”
Leo spins and walks backward, a smirk on his face. “So, yes, he wants Ava to be his girlfriend.”
“All that talk of relationships not being for you, and you’re throwing it all out the window?” Asher tries to hold his laugh in but breaks quickly.
“All right.” I roll my eyes but smile along with them. “I get it. We can move on.”
Leo turns back to face the direction we’re walking with Asher jogging to catch up and walk at his side. I notice Olivia periodically looking at me, but she doesn’t say anything, and I don’t push. Olivia will ask the question when she’s ready.
“What changed your mind?” Olivia asks after a few minutes of walking in silence.
“Changed my mind?”
“About love and relationships.”
“Who said anything about love?” I lift a brow.
“No one, but one would assume you would only enter a relationship if you were open to the idea of love. You wouldn’t waste someone’s time if you didn’t think there was a future with them.”
“You know I’m not in a relationship, right?”
“Yes, but…” She looks ahead of us, where Leo and Asher are goofing around, and gestures to them. “Like they said, you want to be.”
I release a sigh and look up to the sky above us, trying to figure out how to answer my inquisitive sister. Olivia has always been an observer, and her observations always lead to questions. Good questions that always get you to think about something in a new light.
I let my eyes fall to the trail before us. “I wish I had a better answer for you, but I don’t.” I gently grab her wrist, making her stop and look at me. “Ava changed my mind.” I shrug. “I didn’t realize it when I met her, but as I’ve gotten to know her…” I look back up the trail to my brothers, who haven’t noticed we stopped. “I don’t know.” I shrug again and chuckle before looking back at Olivia. “I don’t want to stop learning more about Ava. It’s cliché, but it’s true—I want to know everything I can about her. And it’s that thought that has me open to the idea of more.”
“You really like her.”
It’s not a question, but I smile and shrug anyway. “Yeah, I really like her.”
“Why?”
I laugh and throw my arm over her shoulder, starting our walk again. “Shouldn’t you have grown out of the why phase more than ten years ago?”
“Do we ever grow out of the why phase?” Now it’s Olivia’s turn to shrug. “I think we just stop asking it out loud, afraid of what people will say.”
“You might be onto something there.”
“You’re avoiding the question. Why do you like Ava?”
“She’s not afraid to go after what she wants. She’s sarcastic and easy to talk to. She likes my sense of humor.” I chuckle to myself at that. “She’s not afraid to admit she doesn’t know what her future holds. She’s smart and ambitious. Supportive and hardworking.” I think back to Christmas Day. “She’s brave and sensitive. Loyal and loving.”
A lightness comes over me as I think of all the things I like about Ava Day. She’s all of those things and so much more. I knew I liked her—I realized that before she left for Boston—but something about listing all the amazing qualities of Ava has me realizing how serious my feelings for her have become.
I was planning on pursuing a future with her regardless, but as I tell my sister about Ava, I realize I’ll only stop my pursuit if she tells me this isn’t what she wants.
“I thought you would just tell me she’s hot or something.” Olivia smiles, lightening the mood, likely realizing the serious direction my thoughts have taken.
“Well, she’s definitely that, too.” I offer a smirk.
“Do we get to meet her?” Olivia whispers after a few more minutes of contemplative silence.
I chuckle, pulling her to my side. “Yeah, you’re going to meet her.”