Chapter 46 #2
“I’m on my way to talk to Alex, but I need you to do this for me. I promise I’ll call you when I leave there. Tonight, Corinna. I need to leave.”
“I, I, alright, Aria. But you need to tell me what’s going on. I’ll text you the information if I find a flight. I love you.”
She pulled into the back of Alex’s house, and she could see him pacing on the pathway, wiping his wet hair from his forehead.
Has he been waiting for me in the rain?
“Love you, too,” she said absently to Corrina before ending the call.
Alex stalked toward the car, his long legs eating up the distance in seconds. He took her in his arms the second she parked and slid out.
“Please tell me what’s wrong,” he begged as he pulled away to search her face. “Why did you ask about the well project?”
She could see his distraught expression, his body tense around her, his face pulled tight in a grimace. She’d listen to what he had to say, but her mind was made up.
“Let’s go inside so we can talk,” she answered, ignoring the thundering in her chest.
He nodded once and took her by the hand. They quickly walked toward the house, the puddles on the pathway making a splashing sound as they strode.
Alex opened the door, gesturing for her to walk in first. Aria looked around at the familiar photos in his living room, noticing a new one on the coffee table.
She picked up the teak frame that held a photo of her he had taken at the photoshoot. Alex walked down the hall to his bedroom, returning with a soft towel for her.
“Sit down, cara mia. Can I get you something to drink?” he asked, handing her the towel before sitting next to her on the sofa.
She willed herself not to feel the electricity that lingered when his hand touched hers as she took the towel.
“No thanks, I just had breakfast with Corinna. My parents had to leave early this morning. There was a problem at the restaurant.”
“Sorry to hear that,” he answered, his eyes not leaving her face. “Please talk to me.”
Aria dabbed the condensation from her face before wiping the towel over her arms, using the time to solidify her resolve.
“Did you tell Corinna that you declined the Argentina well project?”
Alex’s face registered confusion for a second before he said, “Oh, yes, I did. The night she called me, I mentioned it.”
“But you didn’t tell me. Why?”
Alex’s jaw flexed, and he inhaled sharply, his words coming out slowly and measured.
He took her hand and said, “I was going to this weekend, but then your parents came into town. I told my agent that I wanted to stay in Positano longer than just the few weeks I was to be here. I’m not ready to get back out on the road.”
“Because of me,” Aria said flatly, her eyes glittering with unshed tears.
His eyes scanned left and right over hers as if trying to read her mind.
“Yes, but—”
“Alex, you can’t do that. You told me early on how important that project was,” Aria said, pulling her hand away from him.
Alex grimaced, looking down at her hand lying in her lap. It took all her strength not to place her hand back in his, knowing it may be the last time she felt its warmth.
“It is important. They’re looking for another photographer.”
“Alex, this project was important to you.”
“What do you want me to say, Aria? Yes, it was important but not as important as you. The work will still be done, just with a different photographer.”
She stood up, putting distance from him as she walked toward the mantel.
Turning back to look at him, her hands wringing in front of her, she said, “I don’t want you to do that.
Change your life, change your career for me.
Drop out of opportunities that you wanted to be a part of.
I was preparing myself for that conversation, selfishly avoiding it.
I, I was caught up in this whirlwind romance we were having and didn’t stop to ask important questions. That was a mistake.”
Alex stood in front of her, gathering her in his hands but keeping enough distance so they could talk.
“Aria, you’ve turned my whole life around.
I said I wouldn’t use these words again until you were ready, but I’m in love with you.
I want to build a life with you. I’m willing to make changes so that can happen.
Can’t you see that? That moment, the moment you and I shared in my house back in Rome all those years ago.
That connection we felt in that moment, I’ve never felt that with anyone else. ”
Aria trembled in his arms and fought to keep from giving in and begging him to stay.
Continuing when she said nothing, Alex said, “I think I fell in love with you, back then, and I don’t think I ever got over you.
I tried. I tried over the years. Even with Bella, but somewhere deep inside me, my heart decided you were the only one for me.
Why would I not want to change my life to be with you, Aria? ”
Shaking her head, tears streaming down her cheeks, she answered, “No, no Alex, I won’t let you do that.
I loved Nicholas too, but I grew resentful of the choices we made that sacrificed my writing, my dreams. That he didn’t push me toward them, knowing it would mean giving up some of his own.
He loved me, I know that with all my heart, but his dreams were more important.
I hated the resentment that built, the feelings I kept hidden.
It’s been difficult to admit that, but those feelings were there. I pushed them down because I loved him.
“But I can’t, I won’t let you do that. You say you won’t resent me, but the time will come when you will.
You’re an albatross, Alex. Your gift is what you bring to the world.
Your life is out there,” she said, her voice shaking, her arms wide.
“My life is small, and it's here in this tiny town. I won’t put you in a cage.”
She tried to walk away but he stopped her.
“Aria, what are you saying?” he asked, his voice breaking.
“You’re my life, you’re my adventure. I love you.
I know what I want because I’m holding it in my hands,” he said passionately, his grip on her arms increasing slightly.
“Tell me you love me, too. We can overcome anything if I know you love me. Say the words to me, Aria.”
His eyes were wide, his face hopeful, begging.
Time seemed to stand still as her breathing matched his. Heavy emotions circled around them like birds in the air. She could hear the whir of his fan, see his eyes wild with fear, hope, feel his breath on her cheek.
“Say it, my love. Tell me you love me,” he begged.
But she couldn’t do that to him. Couldn’t bear to think of him regretting later what he gave up.
She took a deep breath in and looked him in the eye. With all the control she could muster, she said the words she knew would end them immediately.
“I, I can’t.”
Alex’s winced as if she had slapped him.
“You, you don’t love me?”
Aria felt his body sway around her. The light in his eyes extinguished like water being thrown on a flame. His voice faltered as he spoke.
“Aria, I trusted you with my whole heart. I gave it away to you willingly. It was the hardest thing to do after Bella’s betrayal.
But it was also the easiest because I fell in love with you all over again the moment I saw you in that cafe.
Please don’t do this. My heart is breaking into a million pieces. ”
“I’m sorry, Alex,” she whispered.
Aria pulled away from his hands and walked quickly to the door, her steps hesitating.
Don’t turn around.
She turned the doorknob and bolted out the door. Once outside, she ran to her car and started it. Her whole body was shaking. She wished it was still raining so her tears would be disguised, the darkened skies matching the feeling in her heart.
When she pulled back onto the highway, Corinna’s text came through the hands-free screen on her dash.
Corinna: Flight leaves in 4 hours. At your house packing for you. You need to hurry.
Aria had no idea how she got home. Pulling up to her house, she looked around as if coming out of trance. Dragging her feet like they were lead, she stood at her door and finally got the lock opened, her hands trembling violently.
Corinna met her at the door, catching her when she fell into her arms.
“Aria, tell me what happened.”
Aria hugged her, letting the warmth of her embrace bring a little peace to her battered heart.
“Let’s get you in the shower. You’re freezing. Are you still sure this is what you want?’
“Yes,” Aria whispered, her teeth chattering.
She wasn’t sure if it was from shock or being wet.
Corinna helped get her into the bathroom, turning the shower to a warm stream.
“I’ll be right outside if you need help. I’ve put some comfortable clothes here on the counter for you.”
Aria nodded, walked into the bathroom, and closed the door. The steam instantly helped her to take in a cleansing breath.
When she had finished showering and got dressed, Corinna came in and helped her towel dry her hair.
“Can you talk yet? I’ve been so worried since you ran out of the cafe.”
“I told Alex that I couldn’t continue seeing him. That he would only grow to resent me if he gave up his career to stay here with me,” Aria said, her eyes vacant as Corinna brushed out her hair before putting it up on a ponytail.
“What did he say?”
“That he loved me and would give up anything to be with me.” Her eyes lifted and caught Corinna’s in the mirror. “You know I can’t do that to him. He knows I’m right, but won’t admit it.”
Nodding her head and putting the brush down to hold Aria’s shoulders, she answered, “I understand. When you admitted that you felt that resentment about your writing, it was, well, an eye-opener. What you and Nicholas had was beautiful, but I can see now that it was with its challenges as well. I’ve never met anyone I’d be willing to give that much to. ”
Aria stood up, tossing her brush and the last of her toiletries in her travel bag.
“Love is hard, beautiful, painful, and yes, not perfect.”
“But was it worth it?” Corinna asked, her voice gentle and low.