Chapter 46 #3
Aria walked away without an answer, unable to look at her friend.
“Thank you for taking care of all of this,” Aria said, pushing a few items around to make room for her toiletry bag before zipping up her suitcase.
“You know I’d do anything for you, love.”
“I know. We’d better get on the road.”
Grabbing the handle on the roller bag Aria would use as a carry-on, Corinna said, “Make sure you have your passport. I was rushing but I’m pretty sure I put in it there. Your laptop and charger are in here already. Not sure if you need anything for work.”
Aria looked around her room, gathering a few work folders and her journal, putting them in the bag, and confirming she had her passport.
“I feel like I’m missing something.”
Corinna chuckled, “I called Santo. He’ll meet you at the airport.”
“Santo! I forgot to call him. You really are a lifesaver. Good thing you know where everything is in my house.”
“Wasn’t hard. You’re the most organized person I know. Oh, you’ll want to call your parents, too.”
Nodding, Aria answered, “Yes, but I might wait until I’m there.”
Grabbing all her belongings, they hurried to the car, Corinna insisting that she drive. Texting Santo and letting him know she was headed for the airport, Aria was grateful for Corinna’s offer.
His text came immediately.
Santo: Are you okay?
Aria: Yes, no. Maybe. Let’s talk when I see you. I love you.
Santo: Love you too. Travel safe. Can’t wait to see you, sis.
Putting her phone back in her purse, she watched as the familiar sights of her city buzzed by as Corinna navigated the streets toward the highway.
She had never done anything like this. Leaving impulsively, no plan, no itinerary. And in the hour it took to get to the Naples airport, she had changed her mind twice, wondering what she was doing.
When they pulled up to the departure drop off area, Corinna got out and helped with her suitcase.
They stood looking at one another, Aria fighting back tears.
“What am I doing?” Aria said when she was pulled into a final hug.
Stepping back and wiping a tear from Aria’s face, Corinna answered, “Making decisions for yourself. It’s time.”
Shaking her head, Aria answered, “No, I’m hiding.”
“Then don’t hide. You’re stepping away from this relationship to give both of you time to decide what you want. Taking time away from a job I know you don’t really want to do anymore. You’re at a crossroads, love. Decide what you want.”
“I want him. I love him,” Aria whispered.
“And he wants you. But take this time to do something for you. Write, see Santo, get lost in Madrid. Drink Spanish wine and eat tapas. Find yourself, Aria. Then you’ll know what you’re willing to give to Alex.”
Drawing her into another strong embrace, Aria whispered, “When did you get so smart?”
“I may not have ever found what you have, twice now, you showoff. But I’ve learned about love from watching you. Now, go! Don’t miss that plane. I love you.”
“I love you, too. I’ll text when I get there. And Corinna... it is worth it.”
Aria grabbed her luggage and ran to the terminal.
She hurried through security and to her gate. The weight of the last few hours was making her feel like she was suffocating.
Corinna’s words had sliced through the fog and brought a clarity that shook her to the core. She had done the right thing in walking away so Alex could pursue this project, but she was tired of hiding, of just existing.
More and more, her journal was evolving into the makings of a novel. She would use this time to start organizing it into chapters, making a promise to herself that when she returned, she would make this a priority.
As she got to her seat, she wiped the last tear. She was so tired of crying. Assuring the flight attendant that she was alright when he looked at her with concern, she buckled up and took out her journal and started to write, her hand trembling.
Leaving Alex and walking out that door was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
What am I walking toward? I’ve loved two men in my life.
One I gave up so much for. I’ll never regret a moment of it even with the resentment that simmered beneath the surface those last few years.
But I’ll always ask myself why I didn’t pursue my writing before now.
Nicholas would never have prevented it, but I think we both knew what a sacrifice it would have been to our careers.
Or was I just afraid of failure? These past few years have taught me that I was stronger than I could have ever imagined. I may not have gone on adventures, but I’ve shown up for my business, for my family and friends and for myself every day. I’ve survived, one day at a time.
Taking her phone out, Aria glanced out her window at the row of planes at their gates. Turning back to her photos, she found the ones she took of her kintsugi bowl. Following the lines of gold bond with her forefinger, she took a deep breath and went back to her journal.
I have fought my inner demons of fear and discovered that my life may not look like I planned it as a young girl in love, but I’m still standing, still alive. I’ve put the pieces back together with a bond stronger than I could imagine.
I need to find my voice, my dreams, my place, if I’m ever to find my purpose.
My confidence in myself needs to be restored.
It feels selfish and foreign to put myself first, but I want to live, to write, and I’m no longer afraid of failing.
Alex taught me what it looks like to pursue what I’m passionate about and I’ll always be grateful for that.
He has inspired me, believed in me. Whatever happens between us in the future, this time away is now about me.
No more hiding. I want to rediscover Aria.
Aria’s attention turned to the flight attendant as she demonstrated the safety rules.
“In the event of an emergency, put your oxygen mask on first before helping others.”
Nodding as she closed her eyes, she relaxed with that thought.
Yes, I need to find myself first before I can give myself away again.
Aria was tempted to call Alex and try to explain, but remembering the pain she had caused him made her abandon the idea. They needed time.
He needs to go to Argentina, and I need to find my own way. This is the right thing to do even if my heart is breaking. Even if I’ve broken his.
She could only pray that the love they felt for one another could withstand this journey.
Would Alex ever find a way to forgive her when her journey was complete?