34. Hollis #2
“You absolutely do. And I promise, I will never make you feel as if I don’t appreciate you or your submission ever again.”
“Can…I have a hug?” he asks, looking bashful and unsure as he says the words.
“Of course, Cucciolo.” Swooping in, I pull him into my arms, holding him tight. He sighs and snuggles into me, his body relaxing as my own loses the tension I’ve been carrying since he left me.
“I love you,” I whisper into his hair. “I love you so much, Emilio. Tu sei la mia vita. Il mio cuore e la mia anima, e non devi mai preoccuparti che io non ti apprezzi, perché non ci sarà mai un altro giorno in cui non ti dimostrerò quanto sei importante per me.”
He shudders, and though I’m not sure how much he understands—Italian lessons have been at the very bottom of the to-do list with all the shit we’ve had going on—I’m sure he can infer the meaning and reverence in my words.
Walking backwards, I lead him over to my bed, wishing it were bigger, but not caring as I sit down and he climbs into my lap, not moving from where he’s burrowed himself into my chest.
“I can’t wait to get out of here,” I say, clutching him tightly. “I need to hold you properly, all night. Tennant, Roman, and Jude too. Hell, Allesandro, Antonio, the twins, Ignacio, and Benjamin can join in as well.”
He giggles and says against my skin, “Now you sound like Roman and his orgy bed.”
I laugh. “Yeah…I guess I do. That’s how we know we’re all on the same page, and we all want the same thing.”
He nods in agreement. “Javi said earlier that you’re almost ready to leave the hospital.”
“Yeah.” I press a kiss to his hair. “I need to see Connor a few more times, continue taking my medication, and show that I am willing to be more honest with myself and the medical staff, and then Javi will let me leave.”
“Good. I’ve missed you. I was five seconds away from recruiting everyone to help me get through to you.” He takes a deep breath. “I know Tennant has seen you, Jude and Roman as well. But…you never asked for me.”
I hold him so tight that he’s probably going to have bruises, but neither of us cares.
“It was never about you, Cucciolo. I needed to apologize to them all, for not being what they needed me to be. I wasn’t avoiding you, I promise.
I just…I was terrified to face you because you hold such an important part of me.
I was scared you were going to tell me it was over for you. ”
He pulls away and looks me in the eye. “You’re my Angel.
The one who was there for me when I had nothing to hold onto.
You kept me sane when I was missing such an integral part of me.
I didn’t mean to fall in love with you, but I did, and being without you felt as if I was missing part of my soul.
You’re mine, Angel. My Owner who tells me what I deserve, the person who carried me through the darkest parts of time, and the one who gave me a Daddy, my Master, and my stabby soulmate.
“It hurt. So fucking much to not have you. I…would have walked away from you had I come in here and you weren’t sorry for what you did, if I believed you didn’t respect me or the gift of my submission. But…that didn’t happen. Because you’re my Owner, and you know what I need better than I do.”
I wipe the tears from his cheeks. “I’ll always support you, Baby. I would have understood had you told me you couldn’t do it anymore. But I am so fucking grateful and thankful for you giving me another chance.”
He lets out a shaky breath. “I love you.”
I kiss him softly. “I love you too, Pup. So fucking much.”
He chews on his lip for a moment before saying, “Sir? Would it be okay if I…” His words seem to get stuck in his throat, but I smile gently.
“On your knees, Pup.”
He complies instantly, folding himself down so gracefully that it takes my breath away.
With a hand to his cheek, I lift his face up to meet my gaze. “You never have to ask, Cucciolo. Whenever you need to, you’re free to go to your knees for me. What happens after that is for me to decide, but I will always welcome you at my feet.”
His breath catches. “Thank you.”
Bending over, I kiss his lips softly. “You’re welcome.
I wish I could take you apart. I want to see your pretty flesh marked up by my hands, my mouth, and whatever other instrument of pain and pleasure I feel like…
But I’m not in the right headspace, and the last thing I want is to hurt you.
So, I’m sorry for not being able to give you that, but you can stay here for as long as you need.
Don’t think, don’t worry, just breathe and rest. I’ve got you. ”
His entire being shudders and his eyes close. Removing my hand, I guide him so he can rest his head against my thigh. Spreading my legs, I encase him between them, letting him relax against me.
It happens in slow increments, but bit by bit, every line of tension eases from him, and his breathing evens out.
So much so, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think he was sleeping.
But he simply trusts me enough to let go completely, falling deep into that warm, safe place that comes with handing his well-being and care over to me.
It makes my eyes burn with tears, because I sure as fuck don’t deserve it, but I’ll cherish it anyway.
Never again will I ever take this Boy for granted, because the day he walked out of my office?
I got a clear vision of what my future would look like.
Even surrounded by my lovers, it would be bleak and colorless without my sweet, loving, big-hearted Pup.
And that is something I refuse to ever allow.
Emilio is mine. He has been since he all but dared me to put him in his place, and as he kneels for me now, I vow to never make him regret trusting me.
He showed he will choose himself above all others, and I am proud of him for that, but I will make sure he never has to. Running my fingers softly through his hair, breathing with him, I relax in the love a Pup has for his Owner.
Owner and Cucciolo, as it was always meant to be.