38. Jude #2
Keeping a firm hold on his throat, I sit up, wincing at the movement as I pull him along with me until I’m sitting on the floor.
Javi easily goes into my lap, wrapping himself around me and holding on like I’m the only thing keeping him together.
And from the way he sobs, as he buries his head in my neck, I believe I am.
We sit there on the floor long enough for my ass and hip to go numb, my shirt and skin both soaked through with his tears. But I will hold him for as long as he needs me to, because he’s mine, and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for those I’ve claimed.
Javi pulls back, his eyes red and puffy, his bottom lip trembling as he speaks. “I’m sorry.” He signs the words as well, pressing his fist tightly against his chest.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Using my thumbs, I wipe the tears from his cheeks. “I want you to unravel with me.”
“Why?”
“I keep telling you, you’re mine.”
“What does that even mean?”
“It means whatever we want it to. You’re mine to protect, to care for. Whatever you need, Javi. You don’t have to hide from me. You can be yourself.”
He scowls. “No one wants me as I am.”
I shake my head. “That’s a lie. I do.” I wipe away more tears. “I know what you are, what you do, and it doesn’t scare me. I want you to be open and honest with me about who you are.”
“You don’t even like me.” He pouts.
I laugh a little. “That’s a lie. You’ve gotten under my skin from the moment we met. You and your damn suckers, and the way you tried to hide your real self beneath the snark and chaos.”
He sighs. “No one ever wants the real me. Only Ely…she understood. I have nothing now.”
“That’s not true at all. You have me, you have Doc, your empire, and the rest of the Council…if you let them in. No, they may not understand you, but they won’t run, because you’ve inserted yourself into our lives, and now we’re never going to let you go.”
My words cause more tears to fall, and this time, I kiss them away. My lips brush over his cheeks, before finally landing on his lips, giving him the softest kiss I can.
He gasps, his lips parting under mine, and though it’d be so easy to take advantage, I don’t push for more, not when he’s so vulnerable.
Javi blinks at me, his eyes wide and full of an emotion I can’t name. “No one’s ever done that,” he says so quietly that if we weren’t so close, I wouldn’t have heard him.
I frown. “What? You’ve never been kissed before?”
He shakes his head.
Fuck. Something about that knowledge gets under my skin, and my cock hardens. Javi’s breath catches. As he’s still sitting in my lap, he must be able to feel how his confession affects me.
Without thinking, I grab the back of his head and pull his mouth to mine, kissing him firmly, not giving him a chance to protest. I kiss him hard and rough, licking and biting my way into his mouth.
I enjoy how he feels against me, how he gives in so easily as he tries to match each stroke of my tongue with his own.
I let the kiss deepen further, pulling him flush to me, holding him by the hair tightly until we both run out of air.
As Javi gasps for breath, I meet his gaze and tell him, “I’ll kiss you whenever you want, Paperotto.”
He whimpers and I smile, leaning in to softly kiss his swollen lips, shoving down the image I have of those same kiss-swollen lips wrapped around my hard cock.
Pressing our foreheads together, I gentle my touch on him, still keeping him close as we catch our breath.
“This is what being mine means,” I tell him softly. “Whatever you want, whatever you need, I’ll give it to you.”
He shudders and starts to cry again, and I hold him through it all.
Finally, I nudge him off me, ignoring his protests and forcing myself up from the floor, wincing and using the couch to stand. “Time to eat.”
“I’m not hungry,” he protests.
“I don’t care.”
Javi sighs, but he forces himself to eat a little from the beautiful food spread that's been prepared for us. It’s nothing fancy, just simple breakfast staples like toast, fruit, eggs, bacon, pancakes, and waffles. There’s coffee and juice too.
Javi picks at his food, but every time he manages a bite, I kiss him: his hair, his cheek, the side of his neck, his lips. It’s a game that makes a simple, mundane thing exciting, and it encourages him to fill his belly.
When we’re done eating, I let him finish his coffee before I order him onto his knees.
“Why?” He complies, but looks up at me warily.
I smile. “Because you need a rest.” I adjust his stance, widening his knees and forcing him to sink back on his heels, making sure he’ll be as comfortable as possible while kneeling for me.
“I’m not one of your Boys.”
“No,” I agree. “But that doesn’t mean it won’t help. Unless you think being on your knees makes you weak?” I raise a brow, and he curses.
“I’ll even let you hold onto me,” I tell him as I encourage him to wrap his arms around my leg, while I guide his head to rest against me. “No one else gets this privilege when they kneel.”
He huffs, but adjusts himself on the ground, laying his head on my leg and looking up at me before he matches his breathing to mine, nice and slow.
He begins to relax, and I run my hand through his hair, noting how greasy it feels—a shower will be the next thing on our agenda…if he trusts me enough for that.
Javi’s eyes close, and while a frisson of tension still lives within him, he’s mostly relaxed. I rub the back of his neck, encouraging the muscles to relax further, wanting him to slip as deep into his restful place as he can for his first time.
Javi may present himself as dominant to everyone else, and I believe, with the right partner, he is, but there’s also a part of him that wants to be on his knees for me. He might hate that he wants it—needs it—but he does, and I’ll do everything in my power to make it good for him.
After a while, I pick up my phone and send a text.
I don’t want to take Javi from his place too quickly, but I also don’t want him to hurt because he stayed down on his knees for too long.
Eventually, he’ll be able to kneel for me for as long as I desire, alongside my Boys, but right now, we’re not training for that.
Just giving him the space to get out of his head for a bit.
I look up as movement in my peripheral gets my attention. Reginald glances at the remnants of our breakfast, and I shake my head when he meets my gaze. I don’t want anyone startling Javi by moving around too much.
He sets the present I had him hold for me down gently and bows, stepping out of the room as silently as he entered.
Javi doesn’t even flinch, and that’s the best compliment of all, knowing he trusts me so much that he didn’t realize we weren’t alone.
Carefully, I card my fingers through his hair, pulling a little more firmly than I had been. “Time to come back to me, Javi.” He moans. “Shhh. I know. But I want to see your eyes. Come on.”
He blinks his eyes open. They’re still red-rimmed, but the tears are dried on his cheeks, and he stares up at me with clarity that wasn’t there before.
“That’s it. My sweet, crazy little duck. I have you.”
He lets out a breath. “Why was that so nice?”
I smile. “Because you trusted me to take care of you. Something I’ll always do.”
“What about your lovers?”
“They’ll understand. I can guarantee Antonio is probably with the twins right now, fantasizing about what we might be doing. You’ve already touched Ten, and Hollis gave us blanket permission with you for it.”
He scowls. “He fucking stabbed me. Twice!”
I huff a laugh. “I know. I’m sorry. I’ll make it clear you’re off limits now.”
“Because I’m yours?”
“Exactly.” I tap a finger to his lips before saying, “I got you a present.”
He lights up. “A present, for me?”
“Of course. Close your eyes.”
He holds his breath as he does as he’s told. Smiling, I can’t help but lean forward and kiss him softly before getting up to get his present.
Unzipping the carrying crate, I huff when I get a handful of dark fluff as Javi’s present tries to escape.
Making my way back to the couch, I sit and hold the wiggly thing in my lap as I tell Javi to open his eyes.
When he sees the solid-black kitten, he turns to mush. There are no other words to describe it.
“Oh, look at you. So beautiful,” he coos. He holds his hand out to the kitten. “It’s mine?”
I nod. “I went to the shelter after you kicked me out of your office the other day.”
“You…you’ve had this planned for days?”
“Of course. Maybe now you’ll believe me when I say you’re mine. Here, take her.”
He cradles the kitten to his chest, talking sweetly to her, even as she tries to climb onto his shoulder. “You’re going to be an adventurous one, aren’t you? Yes, you are.”
Javi meets my eyes as he plays with his new friend. “Thank you, Jude.”
“It’s the least I’ll do for you, Paperotto.”
Color spreads across his cheeks, but he kneels up and kisses me firmly, the kitten between us.
I can’t fix what happened to his cousin, but I can give him this—a safe place to land, a reminder that he’s not alone, and hopefully, the chance of a new life with the Council.
Javi may not fully understand what my claim means yet, but he will in time.
For now, it’s enough to know he trusts me and willingly lets down some of his walls.
Because despite what he might think, he needs that.
If we have any hope of making the Senator pay for what he’s done to us, we need all hands on deck with clear heads, and I’ll make sure Javi has that, so he can take his revenge.
Then I’ll cuddle him and shower him in kisses afterwards, making sure he knows he’s not alone.
And he never will be again.