Chapter VIII
S?ren had only ventured into the library to make sure the girl joined Arien for dinner.
He'd had enough of his brother's quiet countenance and daily sulking due to her dismissal.
But what frustrated him even more was the fact that she thought she had the power to refuse his brother so, reject him even.
Her only purpose of being here, hell, of still being alive, was to be Arien's mate.
S?ren vowed to see to the fact that she understood this, Arien had too light a reign on her. He didn't know who the fuck she thought she was, or who she thought she was playing games with, but he'd set her straight.
S?ren had already been perturbed at the fact that he'd had to intervene at all, so upon arrival at the library and meeting with Soleil's refusal, followed by sensing her hiding of something, his patience was worn through and anger whetted.
He'd snapped and lost control in the moment.
Now, left alone in the library, afterSoleilhad fled from him, S?ren reflected darkly on what had transpired.
His anger was still warm to the touch, anger at her for keeping something from them. He knew they couldn't trust that lowly wolf that somehow ended up their mate. This just proved it. If only Arien weren't so infatuated with the girl already.
S?ren paced, contemplating the situation and calming himself.
Only once the last few embers of anger had died down, did another, altogether unsettling feeling find its way into his chest. Peering down at his hands, he tried to place the feeling.
It felt like an uncomfortable chasm of something that could not be undone.
Regret.
He brutally shook the feeling from his chest, there was nothing to regret, he hadn't done anything fucking wrong. She should have simply obeyed and attended dinner.
But...the way she stared back at him while he had his hands wrapped around her ribs, bearing down...she'd started off trying very hard not to leak fear.
He could tell, she was so easily read to him. Every flicker, every damn change in her face never went unnoticed by S?ren, only adding to his greater annoyance.
But despite her best efforts, the fear at been there, licking at her irises in response to him.
To him.
A realisation that should either have left him feeling nothing, or pleased at most, instead now held this unwelcome feeling.
Her fear didn't bring him peace like others' did.
Hurting her more wasn't something he intended on either, but violence was an easy default to S?ren when faced with the unknown.
He let out a growl as he kicked a book out of the way and strode to his office.
He needed to call the doctor.
A banging at my door broke me out of my daze. Maybe two hours had passed since the incident and I was currently crouched against the wall furthest from the door.
"Soleil, open up. You haven't had any dinner."
Arien.
"Go away, not hungry."
There was a pause of silence, "Come on Soleil, you can't just refuse to eat. What? Are you now on some sort of starvation protest for us to let you go? Because I'm sorry to break it to you but S?ren won't go along with that-"
I laughed sardonically, "Oh I KNOW all about S?ren. You're threatening to stick your guard dog on me? Big brother dearest? Guess what, he already got to me so come up with a new threat!" I shouted back and remained in my crouched position.
I regretted the shouting instantly, my ribs stung through exertion.
Damn S?ren.
"What are you talking about?"
Of course Arien was clueless, what else was new.
The sounds of others approaching and then low voices interrupted our conversation. I didn't even bother listening in.
A few moments passed and then the voices raised in volume, I managed to make out a "what the fuck S?ren".
What the fuck indeed. But that applied to this whole situation, every second of me being here.
More banging ensued on the door, "Open up Soleil, please. We have the doctor here to check you over and I'm here, S?ren will be kept away from you."
I highly doubted the effectiveness of that statement. Arien wasn't on the same playing field as S?ren.
"Don't need the doctor, thanks anyways." I bit out.
Arien continued to try and talk sense into me while more attempts to open the door were made. I can only assume by the cause of the barricade in the first place.
They might be wolves but there was no way they were getting through there so I remained fairly calmly seated. Those pieced of furniture were good solid wood.
Of course I was mistaken.
I had not yet caught a break in this place and today would not be the day for me to do so.
A large blow to the door caused it to not only be broken it down but also shattered the first piece of furniture that stood in its way, the sturdy dresser. There was now enough room to pick through the remaining obstacles and gain entrance to the room.
I froze at the sudden sound and invasion of what I naively thought to be my safe space.
Arien picked his way through, followed by S?ren.
I slid up against the wall, not wanting to to be on the floor and in a lower position when they entered the room. Vulnerable.
My eyes refused to even spare S?ren a glance, I didn't want to see his face. Ever. But there was also the small part of me that was concerned with how I would react if I met his eyes. I instead fully focused on Arien, who was cautiously approaching me.
"No one is going to hurt you Soleil, I promise. please just let the Doctor look you over." His tone was gentle, pleading, weak.
"Then make him leave." I spat in return, a challenge. If Arien truly wanted to pretend he had any power, he could at least make the source of my pain leave.
Arien turned to presumably make him but S?ren was already striding out.
Of his own volition. Not surprising, Arien clearly had no power over his brother. S?ren did what he wanted to do, when he wanted, only giving Arien the illusion of any input.
Arien was quick to beckon the doctor over who then proceeded to check my injuries again.
I tried to explain that I just healed slowly, surely there were some wolves that had healing defects or something like that. It wasn't the most unlikely story.
There wasn't much for him to do since I was just healing slowly, normally for a human, but slowly for a wolf. My ribs had also suffered a setback, but again, nothing else to do.
I zoned out for his check up and discussion with Arien, I could not careless about anything they had to say. There was nothing to say. What do you say of a prisoner that is harmed by her captors yet still offered medical care? Except that the entire situation is sick. Twisted.
I instead turned my mind to what S?ren had done. Enough time had passed that slight disbelief or something to that effect now took hold. I obviously knew of his dislike, nay hatred, for me existed. I also knew that he could very well hurt me, had hurt me.
But, there was a tiny whisper in some crevice of my mind that hadn't believed he would act on it.
Maybe my status of being Arien's mate or some sick settling in of Stockholm syndrome had me believing in a thin veil of protection.
..at least from direct bodily harm. I flinched at the thought, at how mistaken I'd been.
I was almost glad to be disavowed of my naivety.
That wasn't the whole truth.
I was also saddened at this realisation.
Saddened at how it hardened me, how it reminded me to rebuild my ways and hone my cynicism and distrust. That's all this town and now place, had taught me. Had made me.
The true root of my sadness was at the loss of who I was before.
"Her injuries seem much the same as before, with only her wrists healing at a relative pace. The girl mentioned she has been known to heal slowly so that might simply be the case. But there is not much else I can aid her with at the moment."
S?ren nodded and dismissed the doctor from his study, frowning.
He had wanted a better explanation for why she wasn't healing at a normal pace, already having come to the conclusion that she wasn't. Before he could spend more time considering this, his door was ripped open as Arien strode inside.
"Fucking hell S?ren? How could you dare to hurt her? What possessed you asshole?!" He ripped a hand through his hair, "I didn't ask you to force her to attend dinner! Another fucking stupid decision of yours that you made without me and managed to make everything worse."
Arien was growling, nearly shouting, as he stood fuming before his brother.
S?ren had expected this outburst from Arien, probably deserved it, and thus the words didn't do much to affect him. He merely tried to calm his brother down.
"In truth I had not meant to harm her, I was angered at her ignoring you," disrespecting you, "and then her refusal to listen to me. But for my actions you have my apologies."
He remained seated as he observed Arien, observed how he struggled to calm his rising emotions, struggled to understand his brother.
That was something the two of them rarely shared, understanding.
They were inexplicably tied to one another and would protect and care for the other with their lives if necessary, but still, a chasm of space separated them.
It had always been that way and seemed it would always remain that way.
Arien considered his words and took a haggard breath in, "But how could you even manage to do that to our mate?"
The question was broken, incredulous, it bit into S?ren.
"Your mate. And I told you it was a mistake, I will not repeat it."
He was still just trying to placate his brother but would keep his word.
"Sometimes I struggle to see our relation brother," a whispered confession now from Arien as he tried to make sense of the wolf before him.
That landed, pierced something deep inside of S?ren, even if he was unable to admit it to anyone, himself even. His features remained indiscernible.
Arien begun pacing and continued before he could regret his words, "She will never trust us, forgive us, let alone give us a chance.
I'm starting to see that more and more. That's why I haven't forced her, tried to give her space and time and hopefully.
.." His words were punctuated by a desperation, hopelessness.
This angered S?ren, this was precisely what he tried to keep his brother from.
His entire purpose was to protect his brother, make sure he didn't experience any more hurt, anymore darkness, provide him with a happiness that had been denied to the both of them. And it was clear he was failing Arien.
Because of her.
The urge to crush her like he nearly did again arose in him. "She is YOUR mate and should at least try to behave like one. Try to get to know you and give you what you wish. Her behaviour is unfounded, you were not even the one to harm her and we've made that clear."
"SOLEIL, her name is Soleil!" Arien was losing patience at his brothers' refusal to even use her given name, instead spitting out her pronouns as if a curse, "and SHE has every right to feel that way.
How would you feel if what she underwent happened to us," then using his S?ren's concern for him he added, "happened to ME instead? "
S?ren's jaw clenched, considering the truth in his brother's words. He would want the people dead who would dare do that to Arien.
Sounding defeated now, Arien ended quietly "Soleil hadn't even healed from her previous wounds and you..."
He stayed to see the words land on S?ren but then left as he struggled to see any change in his brother.
"Just stay away from her, she's my mate. At least respect that if nothing else."
S?ren was left staring at the closed door, struggling with the feelings evoked by things Arien had pointed out.
He'd hurt someone weaker.
He'd hurt her while still injured.
He'd hurt her for no reason.
And most damningly, he'd hurt her despite her being their mate.
Unable to deal with the mess of emotions painfully swirling within and the darkness of his own creation that never seemed to be far, S?ren left to let his baser side out.
In wolf form, he would have none of this struggle.
He would only have his beast.