Chapter 10
Regan
I could have raged, cried, or screamed, and they would have accepted it all, but I decided to ease their burden. I would’ve wanted someone to do the same for me, but I knew that wouldn’t happen once they discovered the truth about me. Looking at how miserable they seemed to be, I kept explaining.
“There was no way for you to know after we connected as family. The state didn’t report it, and I never spoke about it. And for that, I’m sorry. I should’ve been more honest with you about what happened before I was in the foster system, but to be honest, it was a time of my life I want to forget.”
They seemed to understand, though I could tell they had questions, but I wasn’t finished yet.
“I know you want to know what I experienced, and I’ll say this one time and then never again.
” They nodded, so I continued. “The things I experienced in that house, for those years, isn’t something I’ll ever discuss with you or anyone else.
I know some of the women in our lives have found peace and redemption when they’ve spoken their truth, but I’m not them.
So, to answer the question you have, yes, he was cruel and horrible to me, and she allowed it to happen.
The day the police raided the house, finding me in a filthy room after not having been enrolled in school for over a year, was the best day of my life.
Until I came here to live with Rhys.” I smiled at my brother, who seemed to be struggling to keep it together.
Standing from my seat, I walked to where my brother was sitting and leaned over, offering him a hug.
I rarely instigated contact with anyone, so he really hugged me back.
Releasing him, I walked to James and repeated the action until I felt his arms wrap around my upper back.
Finally, I stepped down the table to Devlin, who looked defeated and unsure of my presence.
“Please stand up,” I requested, and he swallowed deeply before doing as I asked. “I don’t blame you and I need you to stop blaming yourself. What you saved Elise from was something no one should ever experience, and I’m glad you were able to get her out of there.”
He looked like he was bursting to say something, so I asked, “Do you have anything you want to say?”
“I won’t begin to say how sorry I am because words are hollow.
I will tell you from the depths of my soul, I wouldn’t have left you behind if I’d known you were there.
Family or not, no one deserves what you lived through.
” I gave him a small nod, and he added, “Steve died of an overdose in a shitty bar in the Flats over four years ago, so he will never be able to hurt anyone ever again.”
I gave him a smile and another nod, feeling the lump building in my throat. Reaching out, I took his meaty hand and gave it a squeeze, hoping it relayed the things I was becoming too emotional to say out loud. He looked into my eyes as he pushed a cheek up, trying to show some understanding.
Stepping back from him, I turned and caught Seth’s eyes as I moved away from Devlin.
He gave me a wink with a smile, and I felt his affection from across the room.
Just as I got back to Rhys, he looked up at me and said, “I killed our mother the week after I met you for the first time. I saw such sadness in your eyes and I wanted that bitch to pay, so I tracked her down and killed her.”
“Thank you for telling me,” I responded then added, “I’m glad she’s dead. I hope you made it painful.”
“I did.”
Pecking him on the cheek, I walked back to my seat.
Seth slipped his hand into mine as I began to address the room.
“I know there are questions about who took me from my apartment, where they kept me, and how I survived until you saved me, but I will not discuss that now or in the future. There are some things that need to stay buried, and I hope you can give me the respect of honoring my request.”
Seth squeezed my hand, and I exhaled as I added, “Seth and I are going out to dinner now, so unless you have any questions that I am willing to answer, we’re going to leave you to discuss whatever you need to discuss.”
“Can I ask one question?” James inquired, so I gave him a nod and tightened my grip on Seth’s hand, unsure where James was going.
“It touches on the time you won’t discuss, but it’s not about you. Not directly, anyway,” James stated, so I rolled my hand, needing him to finish. “Your friend that was taken with you, when . . . when was she killed?”
I stood from my chair, and Seth joined me before I answered.
This wasn’t about me and I didn’t have to expound on anything but the truth of what happened to Elsa.
“She was dead within a few hours of them taking us from our apartment. I’m not sure who did it, but they were using her as a receptacle for their pleasure when I was dragged out of the house and forced to leave her there. ”
James closed his eyes, and when they reopened, I saw a newfound anger burning in his gaze.
I was able to give them a general idea where we were taken from and the things I saw when I left with Sergey, and they’d looked for Elsa until they found her body and made sure she was returned to her parents for a proper burial.
Looking at the somber men, I asked a question in return. “Who paid for her funeral?”
“James and I did, and Rhys made sure her family had enough money to take care of things until they were back on their feet emotionally,” Devlin responded, and I felt a tear leak from my eye.
Swiping the tear away, I simply said, “Thank you for your kindness.” They nodded but said nothing as I looked up at Seth and asked, “Can we go to dinner now?”
He kissed the back of my hand, right in front of my family and his friends, and I smiled as he said, “Lead the way, beautiful.”
We walked out of the room, and he closed the door behind us, pausing long enough to pick up the leather bag he’d dropped earlier before taking my hand into his and walking into the kitchen. “Do you need to grab anything before we leave?” he asked, and I gave him a nod.
“My purse is in my room.”
I went to release his hand, only for him to lead us down the hallway, past the patio, and straight to my room. Looking around, he found my purse on my dresser and lifted it with his eyebrows up. I nodded, so he handed it to me before silently leading us out of my room and back down the hallway.
Following him, I felt safe and treasured as he stroked his thumb along my skin while we moved to the front door and outside into the afternoon sun.
It wasn’t too cold for New Year’s Day, and as we walked to his SUV, he increased his pace.
I almost had to trot to keep up with him, and just as we got to the passenger’s door, I asked, “What’s the hurry? ”
Seth lifted his finger into the air, requesting I hold on as he opened the door, helped me inside with a smile, and closed the door, sealing me inside.
I watched as he jogged around the front and got behind the wheel, still not speaking.
He glanced at me with a smile and cranked the vehicle before immediately putting it into gear and pulling away from Rhys’s house.
I wanted to ask if everything was okay, but halfway down the driveway, isolated from the house and the guard shack, Seth put the SUV into park and turned to face me. My seatbelt was still unhooked, so I mirrored his position, waiting for him to finally say something.
Then the thought that he’d changed his mind and was too nice to say it bombarded me, and I was about to ask him if he was having doubts when he finally said something.
“I’m going to kiss you, so if you don’t want me to, now is the time to say something. Because seeing how strong you are has made it impossible for me not to kiss you.”
His breathing was growing in intensity, and I smiled across at him, silently giving him a green light.
Seth leaned over the console and placed his hands on the sides of my face as he leaned forward, touching his lips to mine.
The kiss started simple, but it wasn’t long before I parted my lips, allowing his tongue access.
I groaned into his embrace as he swirled his tongue against mine, igniting feelings deep inside I’d feared were dead forever.
And then I smiled into the kiss, realizing my therapist was right.
With the right man—a man who knew my demons—affection, love, and eventually sex could all be a possibility.
Seth slowed the kiss until it was a simple peck, and when he pulled back, I bit my lip as he gazed into my eyes, showing his need for me.
The fact he didn’t go any further and his hands stayed above my shoulders gave me reassurance that maybe he was the one who would be able to show me the good parts of romance and sex, and not just the pain and shame that came with it.
“I need to stop by my house really quick, but then we can head to dinner,” Seth said, and I gave him a quizzical look. “I need to feed my cat.”
“You have a cat?” I asked with a smile as he put the vehicle into drive.
“Yeah. Edgar was a stray, and it took me two months to get him to trust me. Now, he sleeps on my bed, demands wet food at least once a day, and doesn’t seem to miss me when I’m gone.” He shrugged as I chuckled at the last part of his statement.
Pulling up to the guard shack, Seth slowed down for them to see us before they raised the gate and we pulled away from Rhys’s compound.
As soon as we were on the road and headed toward the interstate, I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.
I didn’t know if it was being away from the fortress of safety they’d built around me, being with Seth, or the freedom that came with part of my shameful secrets finally being out in the open.