11. Chapter Eleven
Chapter Eleven
Milo
Darius.
He had to be near me, but where? All I seemed to scent was him. It was like I was drowning in the scent of the man I longed for. The man I needed.
Swallowing in my surprisingly dry throat, it all came back to me along with the pain in my neck.
Fillian.
He’d attacked me.
My eyes flew open, but that really didn’t help me figure out my location. I wasn’t at home, nor at Dad’s, or at Nic the healer’s place. I couldn’t remember ever being in this particular home.
Fuck, I was at Darius house! That could be the only explanation why all I could smell was him.
“You’re not allowed to shift!” Darius’ hurried voice reached me from somewhere I couldn’t see.
I was on a soft fluffy carpet in front of a fireplace that only had a tiny fire going.
My head throbbed as did my throat and neck.
I didn’t even care that I was at Darius’ mercy.
I’d somehow done the impossible and survived the attack, even if I’d protected Cass with the knowledge I likely wouldn’t.
So, I wasn’t allowed to be in my human form?
Likely because of the state I was in, but I was truly grateful for that fact.
My fur was like armor against Darius, whom I still wondered if wanted me or not.
He was just so confusing! Telling me I was immature and that he wanted to wait, only to kiss me as soon as another shifter showed interest. As if someone like me could truly keep Silas’ attention.
Even if Darius hadn’t been mine, I still wouldn’t have ended up with Silas.
We were both simply too broken to work. As friends though, we were perfect.
But Darius didn’t need to know that. His jealousy was a comfort to my insecurities.
We weren’t given a choice on our fated mates, only the knowledge that they were perfect for us was enough for it to be so treasured and sought after.
How I could be perfect for anyone was a joke.
A cruel one. Darius had always caught my eye, and even though I’d pushed my teenage crush on him to the side, basically burying it as deep as possible, it was still there whenever I saw him with Jeremy.
I’d truly believed Jeremy and Darius would someday end up being chosen mates, another reason I was so angry with Jeremy for always getting everything he wanted, or that I wanted.
I’d messed up with Darius when we finally had our first kiss.
To my defense, I hadn’t truly thought things through before I leaned in and kissed him.
My mind, and heart, hadn’t even given the thought of him being my fated a chance.
Someone like me never got the perfect man.
But somehow, I still did, and fucked it up only seconds later.
Was Darius only tending to me because no one else volunteered? Was Jeremy even still alive? Was Cass? Was I being punished for their deaths because I didn’t fight quickly enough? Or well enough?
“Sorry I yelled,” Darius said, his tone apologetic. I was too weak to lift my head, so I couldn’t see him from where he was behind me. The flames were somehow soothing to watch, the slowly flicking fire and embers floating around in a mesmerizing dance.
“I’m sorry for everything,” he whispered, and then his hand stroked my fur. I tensed, pulling something that could only be stitches. I whimpered from the sting and he removed his hand. “Am I hurting you?”
I huffed, trying to make a sound that sounded like no without hurting my throat.
He knew very well he could just shift and talk to me, but no, he likely didn’t want to hear my immature words.
It stung, to be honest. He seemed to be taking care of me, if me being in his house was indication enough, but maybe he’d been forced to, or felt forced to.
Closing my eyes, I begged for sleep to take me away from the confusing moment. Darius tending to me was simply too good to be true. Maybe I was high on pain meds or something. It was a good thing I couldn’t cry in my wolf form because tears would’ve fallen freely by now otherwise.
Silence stretched out between us before I felt Darius move away from me, slowly and silently leaving me alone on his floor. The embers left in the fireplace, my only comfort and company.
I somehow managed to sleep the day away, or at least it felt like that.
The next time my eyes opened there was only darkness surrounding me.
Darius’ scent was still strong, meaning he hadn’t left me.
Yet. Maybe I should try to get up and leave, save him the hassle of asking me to go himself.
He had to have taken me here for no other reason than because Nic couldn’t house me in his tiny home.
The fact Dad didn’t want me had to mean something bad had gone down, but I tried not to think too hard about that.
I just wanted to go home, to be somewhere I was wanted.
I wasn’t wanted here. I knew that much. Darius might feel the pull, same as me, but that didn’t mean he wanted to feel it.
I was too immature for him. And a whore, apparently.
The moment that word had left his lips was also the moment I truly realized there was no hope for us.
He saw me as something filthy. Something to be discarded.
Not someone to love. No one would ever love me.
My one hope had been to find my fated one day, I truly hadn’t expected to find my fated in my own pack.
I’d been glad it was Darius, those first few seconds at least, but now I truly needed to leave.
My heart couldn’t take any more of his calming scent, luring me into a false state of hope.
Carefully, I rose to standing, my healing having already done a lot for my body, but I would still take it slow. The amount of blood I’d likely lost wouldn’t be magically replenished immediately but would take some time. Time I couldn’t spend here.
My paws moved as silently as they could around Darius’ living room, my nose acting as a guide to find the front or back door, whatever would lead me outside and as far away as possible.
My damn nails could be heard way too clearly on the flooring, frustrating me to no end.
Why did I have to stay in this form again?
“Going somewhere?” Darius’ neutral voice startled me, making me jump in place. The sudden movement made me whimper in pain, the stitches not yet ready for me jumping around.
“Milo!” he exclaimed, hurrying over to me. “Are you hurting?”
Why did he seem so worried?
Also, why the hell was he asking me questions when he knew I couldn’t answer? That had to be the most annoying thing he could do to me right now.
I glared at him, hoping my eyes could somehow translate that he annoyed me and I wanted to go home.
The bastard just smiled. He smiled. Like I was amusing him!
I huffed and moved around his kneeling body.
I was so out of here. Silas would likely visit once I was feeling better.
Maybe he could tell me what had gone down since Darius appeared to be useless unless it was to annoy my very existence.
Taunting me with his gorgeous smile and alluring scent. Yeah, I really needed to go.
“Milo,” he sighed, walking up behind me. “You need to rest.”
I glared at him again, before I resumed my walk to where the front door had to be.
“Please.” His begging tone was sincere enough to make me pause. “I…” he took in a steadying breath. “I can’t see you going through pain again, Milo. Please just rest and let me take care of you. I promise I’ll shift and tell you everything after you’ve eaten.”
So this need for him was because of our fated bond?
He felt like he needed to care for me? Was it painful for him to have me here when he didn’t truly want me?
Or was he doing this because he’d changed his mind?
Maybe seeing me almost die had changed things for him.
It had for me. I’d realized those last few seconds just how badly I’d wanted things to have gone differently with Darius.
But it wasn’t for me to fix this, at least it didn’t feel like it.
He’d pushed me away, then called me a whore, and then kissed me, only to then ignore me for days.
I was so confused.
My one regret in life would’ve been never feeling loved. I had once, I knew as much, but I’d long forgotten how it felt. Darius was my only chance at feeling it, so I slowly made my way back in front of the fireplace, hoping Darius wasn’t about to break my heart.
Again.