12. Chapter Twelve
Chapter Twelve
Darius
Milo had almost escaped my care, and if that wasn’t proof we needed to talk, nothing was. On his weak legs, he’d searched for a way out. A way to get away from me. Did he not want me? Or was he scared I was about to reject him again?
No matter his reason, he’d decided to stay, and I’d promised him we would talk. So, even if my insides were screaming with nerves, I handed him the plate with steaks on it. They were cooked more on the medium rare side, but we wolves tended to prefer that in our wolf forms.
Milo ate slowly, his neck likely aching with each swallow, but I knew he’d glare if I showed up with tiny cut up pieces of meat.
Backing up a bit to free up enough space, I quickly shed my clothes, then shifted before I could talk myself out of it. Milo eyed me as he continued to eat, practically begging me for some answers.
“Hi,” I said, feeling more nervous than I ever remember being.
“Hi,” he replied, not even looking my way as he ate the last steak.
“So,” I began. “You’re likely wondering what you’re doing in my house?”
“Actually, I’d much rather know if Jeremy and Cass are okay, but I guess they have to be, for you to think me resting and getting no answers were the highest priority.
It wasn’t as if I could ask you to shift to explain things to me, and when I tried to leave to find someone who wanted to hear me talk, you stopped me. ”
Okay, me staying in my human form had been a mistake, noted.
“They’re okay,” I hurried to say, ignoring the part where I’d left him wondering if his brother and Cass were alive. I was messing this up already.
“I’m glad.” He laid down and stared into the fireplace, either dismissing me, or waiting for me to continue our conversation.
“Do you want me to leave?” I asked, knowing if he truly wanted that, I would.
“No.”
My paws padded across the soft carpet, silent as I approached him.
He was such a gorgeous wolf, lean but tall, his fur had this golden shine to it in the sunlight whenever it hit just right.
Here, with the firelight cascading over his fur he looked mesmerizing.
Like a pull on a string, I was tugged close to him, my wolf needing the warmth of his body, his nearness.
Hell, I just needed my Milo.
“I never should’ve called you immature,” I finally admitted, allowing the silence to stretch around us before I continued.
“I was the immature one, acting like I was in charge of our relationship. I don’t wish for us to have that sort of arrangement.
I want us to be equals, for us to communicate and compromise. ”
Milo still didn’t say anything, just stared into the flickering flames, his eyes reflecting their motion.
“I want you, Milo.”
He finally turned his head, his eyes searching mine. I hoped he found what he was looking for. I hoped he could see my very soul. If he could, he’d never doubt just how much I wanted him.
“Are you sure?” he asked, his tone hopeful but wary. “It’s not just because of the fated mate thing?”
“I’ve known you were my mate since you turned seventeen,” I informed him, hoping this knowledge would make him realize just how long I’d planned for our future together. “You weren’t old enough for us to mate, and I was perfectly fine waiting for you, knowing you had no idea who I was to you.”
“I didn’t.”
“Your dad did. I told him as soon as I found out. He didn’t want Jeremy to know, though, afraid of what it would do to my friendship with Jeremy, and then he feared Jeremy would tell you.”
He made a scoffing sound, which was mostly just a snort. “He just hoped you’d end up with Jeremy in the end and not me.”
I hated to admit it, but maybe Milo was right about that. But no one could come between fate. Not even Paul, who’d always been fond of me.
“Maybe,” I conceded. “But he knew where my heart was. Or rather, with whom.”
“What made you change your mind about me being immature?” he asked.
I nuzzled my head carefully against his, needing to touch him. “When I said that, it was because I was hurting. You’d just admitted to only kissing me because you wanted to hurt Jeremy by taking something from him. I felt used.”
“That wasn’t my intention,” he hurried to say, nuzzling back against my throat lazily.
“I know that. We both made mistakes that day, but I want to move forward with you now, no more hurt feelings or confusion. I want you, Milo. As my mate.”
“I want that, too, Darius. I guess I just fear what happens when we’re no longer in our wolf forms.”
“What do you mean?”
“I feel less vulnerable like this, speaking through our minds, wearing my fur like armor. Shredding all of that and facing you is…. Daunting in a way.”
That was close to what I was feeling myself. Maybe these next two days with us forced to only communicate while both in our wolf forms would do us good.
“I’m scared, too,” I admitted. “I already messed up too many times to count. When it comes to you it seems I can’t do logical thinking.”
He snorted. “You were ready to bite Silas for daring to touch me.”
The mention of Silas had me growling in anger all over again. How dared he touch what was mine!
Milo’s snout nuzzled into my side again, quieting my anger like it was nothing. Calming my wolf instantly.
“Can I sleep here, next to you?” I asked, hoping he would allow it. Last night, I’d slept on the couch, not wanting to be too far from him.
“Please,” he begged, snuggling into my side, making me soar with happiness.
I couldn’t remember ever sleeping that soundly.
Milo’s soothing presence next to me had me feeling content all night.
It also felt like a true bonding moment for our wolves, sleeping cuddled up together like that, both of us needing the closeness, the reassurance that we were together now, that finally things had turned for us.
“Morning,” I whispered, nuzzling my nose against his. I had to be careful around his neck, even if I wanted to hide my face away under his face, scent-marking his neck.
“Morning,” he whispered back, returning my nose kiss.
“How are you feeling?” I asked. It had been two days since he’d gotten attacked, but he seemed much better already.
“Tired, but better.”
Neither of us moved, both content to stay cuddled on the carpet for a bit longer.
“I hope things between you and Jeremy will remain the same,” he said, seemingly out of the blue.
“Why wouldn’t it?”
“Jeremy and I aren’t exactly close, and him hearing why I kissed you… I guess I just fear I’ll be the reason your friendship breaks, and I don’t want that.”
I was confused. “Did you tell him you only found out we were mates to piss him off?”
“No, I figured you had?” He sounded truly surprised that I hadn’t told Jeremy. But why would I?
“I would never do that, Milo. Whatever reason you had for wanting to hurt him is between the two of you. I still have no idea why you were so mad at him that day.”
Finally getting to know Milo better meant I was even more surprised by his ire, he just didn’t seem like the type to want to cause others pain.
His nose buried into my neck, calming my instinct to scent-mark him. He was putting his scent on me, marking me as his.
“It’s hard to explain,” he whispered.
“Try me.”
Let me help you with your troubles, forever and always.
“I guess I was just tired of never being good enough, you know? Jeremy has always had it easy, and I struggle. Him being chosen as alpha was just the last straw before I couldn’t take it anymore.”
“I didn’t know you felt that way. Makes me feel rather shitty that I didn’t befriend you, too.”
“You’re Jeremy’s best friend. Why would you bother getting to befriend his younger brother? Maybe if we were closer in age, but the seven-year age gap felt much bigger back then.”
“I guess. But I doubt Jeremy knows about your feelings about him. He seems truly confused as to why you’ve been causing them trouble.”
“I’m ashamed for doing it… for trying to cause them issues. I was just so damn tired of never being good enough. But that’s no excuse for me being a dick.” He let out a whimpered sigh. “I should’ve just left the pack as soon as he was chosen as alpha.”
I tensed, not liking where this conversation was going.
“You contemplated leaving the pack?”
“More than once,” he admitted. “Why stay somewhere I don’t feel wanted?”
“That’s truly how you feel? That you aren’t wanted here?” I was proud of how steady my voice sounded. I was anything but steady at the moment.
“Well, yeah. I know you want me now, but, Darius, you’re the only one, and I have to be honest, I’m still waiting for you to see what the others see and push me aside like they did.”
“You’re more treasured here than you realize, Milo. And I’m not going anywhere. I’m ready to claim you as mine as soon as you’re deemed recovered enough for it by Nic.”
I meant every word. Milo was loved by most of the parents in the pack simply because he enjoyed playing with the pups. Not many had time for it, but he genuinely seemed to enjoy himself whenever they played around together.
He let out a huff against my neck, dampening my fur and making me shiver. His closeness was affecting me. Making me want us like this but in our human forms.
“I mean it, Milo. Whenever you’re ready, I’m claiming you.”