Twenty-Two
TWENTY-TWO
Noble
“H ow did the interview go this morning?” Tim asked.
I stood up from the desk in my home office to twist and stretch. I’d been sitting in front of my laptop since I came back from the city.
“Seems like it went well. Felt more like an interrogation. There were six board members on that interview panel. I tried to use my usual charm,” I said, trying to keep it light. “But I felt like I was in front of a firing squad.”
“They can be intimidating,” Tim agreed.
I was rusty at interviewing. Selling and charm, I had that in the bag, but I hadn’t interviewed for a job since I was in grad school. The stakes were way higher, and imposter syndrome had entered the room uninvited a few times. I had to concentrate hard to decipher who was really talking, members of the panel, me, or my imposter syndrome. I reminded myself of my accomplishments with Push and felt a little better. My work there was unprecedented. I was proud of that.
“You have another one this week.”
“Yeah. I feel good about them. One is a start-up. They’re really interested in me helping get things off the ground. They got huge backing from an angel investor.”
“Sounds good. I have another friend I’d like for you to meet. Can you do lunch on Thursday?”
“Let me check my calendar. Still empty! I’ll be there,” I joked.
Tim’s laugh was small and unsure.
“You can go ahead and laugh, man,” I said. “I’ve gotten past the woe-is-me stage of getting fired. And the time I’ve been spending getting to know the work at the agency has been great. I’ve met several of the kids and families we serve.” I thought of Brayden and wondered how he was doing. I made a mental note to ask about him the next time I went by the office.
“I don’t know if I would call what happened getting fired. The package you got was pretty awesome. I know because I made sure the board made it as sweet as possible.” Tim laughed for real this time. “I’ll send you the details for Thursday. I’m looking forward to seeing you.”
“Me too. How’s Ty doing as interim?” I really wanted him to succeed.
“Good. You’ve taught him well.”
“Are they considering him for the position permanently?”
Tim took a moment to answer.
“No,” he finally said. “They’re looking for a seasoned leader. Ty’s doesn’t have that level of experience. He’s never held the title himself.”
“Yeah. I get it.” I felt bad for Ty. He’d worked as hard as I had all these years. And I was pretty sure that when the new CEO took the position, they’d probably bring in a whole new leadership team. I hated to think it, but Ty’s days were likely numbered too. That’s how these things worked.
“Gotta run, Noble. See you Thursday.”
“See you then,”
I wanted to call Ty and warn him, but refrained. I could bring him with me wherever I landed.
I returned to my email. One came in from one of the positions I wanted. Clicking the subject line, I opened the email. It took the wind out of my sails. It was yet another While your qualifications were impressive…blah blah blah… Unfortunately…
I shut my laptop. No need to finish reading. I didn’t feel bad, though. I realized I needed a life more than I needed a job. Financially, I was well-off. All the other parts of my life were out of sorts. The further away I got from the dreadful day I was asked to leave, the more clarity I got about who I was and what I wanted. I’d never say leaving Push was good for me, but it forced me to reflect in a way that wouldn’t have happened otherwise.
For the first time in ten years, I was thinking about myself, and I was finally excited to discover the things I truly wanted before stepping into my next role. I’d make room for life and work next time.
Holland came to mind. Actually, she stayed on my mind. Even better, she’d stayed in my bed the last several nights. Being with her made me realize there was so much more to life than just working. She shed light on the places I had ignored for so long. I hated watching her leave, but we both had things to take care of. We both had very separate, very different lives. Holland showed me what I was missing. Something that could lead to love. A partner who could be there for you when life tossed darts at you and they stung—bad.
I knew she was only here to sell her aunt’s house, but I wished she was here to stay. I wanted Holland in every way. She wasn’t impressed by my title. She couldn’t care less about how much money I had. Hell, she hardly wanted me to spend my money on her. Holland was Holland, and when I was with her, I was Noble—not a CEO. My awards and credentials didn’t matter. She wanted me just the way I was, unemployed and all.
I’d become successful by going after what I wanted. I wasn’t going to stop now.
I texted Holland.
Me: Hey! Day going well?
The bubble with the three dots appeared briefly and disappeared without a text. I waited, and they came back.
I guess. Another bubble . Just a lot on my mind. Decisions.
Me: I get it. I’ve got some decisions I’m grappling with too.
Holland: Yeah. And I’m still figuring out what to do for my birthday.
Your birthday? I sent the shocked-big-eye emoji. When is your birthday?
Holland: Next weekend.
Me: We should celebrate before you leave. Italian restaurant?
Holland: Sure…
I’d never been in a long-distance relationship before, but I was willing to try. I just had to make the rest of Holland’s time in New York memorable.