5. Sam
Sam
“What the hell, Xan?” I shriek, covering my mouth when my phone narrowly misses hitting him in the face.
Which he would have deserved. Thankfully, I don’t hear a bang.
My phone must have missed the doorframe and wall by a hair to land on the carpet.
I spent an hour on the phone with him earlier letting him down easy, assuring him that this is all me and has nothing to do with him as a person. I like him as a person…or I did.
“How did you get in here?”
“I climbed through your window,” he replies casually, sitting down on my bed next to me.
“Why?” I bite out.
“Because your door was locked, and you didn’t hear me knocking.” I flop backwards onto my bed and drag my hands over my face. “We needed to talk in person,” he explains.
“Still doesn’t make it any less breaking and entering, Xan,” I grumble.
“I thought you liked these kinds of things?”
I can’t stop the laugh that bubbles up my throat even though this is not funny. “Wanting to be well and truly fucked…does not mean I enjoy crimes being committed against me.”
He tosses his hands into the air. “I’m new to this, Sam. I don’t know all the rules.” He sounds so defeated that it’s almost sad. I rest my hand atop his, and he lies next to me.
“I appreciate you exploring new things with me, and it’s okay that it didn’t work. It just means we aren’t compatible. Can we please just be friends?”
“I’d rather be your friend than nothing at all,” he agrees reluctantly.
“Just no more climbing through my windows,” I add.
“Deal.”
He gives my hand a squeeze before sitting up. “I should probably go, shouldn’t I?”
I nod and walk him to my front door. Breaking hearts is not on my favorite things to do list. Maybe this is my sign that I should remain single for the time being.
Until I figure my shit out. I check all of my windows, finding only one unlocked.
Speaking of figuring shit out, I jog up the stairs and swoop up my cell phone from the hallway, and jump back into bed.
It’s pure insanity, but I just finished signing up for SINS before Xan scared me nearly to death.
An unread message makes my heart gallop.
Phantom_Shadow: Tell me your limits.
I’m not sure what I was expecting. A list of people to choose from, maybe.
I guess I don’t get a choice. Well…no choice definitely goes along with everything I listed in my hidden desires.
Do I even have limits? I mean…I’d rather this not turn into a documentary about a horny idiot who was so desperate to be fucked right that she handed herself over to an unhinged psychopath.
Hidden_Embers: I’d rather not be tortured…or killed, please.
Phantom_Shadow: Baby, I’ll torture you, but you’ll enjoy it and beg for more.
Heat builds between my legs as I read the words over and over. He’s a professional. Of course, he knows the perfect thing to say.
Phantom_Shadow: I’ll send you a pin tomorrow night on where to meet. Wear running shoes.
My eyes widen. Tomorrow? Holy shit. Am I going to go through with this? This is insane, letting a complete stranger have their way with me. My brain tries to wave red flags, but my pussy sees them as beautiful ribbons she would like tied around her in a pretty bow.
Hidden_Embers: How will I know it’s you?
Phantom_Shadow: Nobody else will be around for miles. You’ll be all mine for the taking.
I make a mental note to write a goodbye letter in case I am accidentally planning my own murder.
Hidden_Embers: I’m nervous. I’ve never done anything like this before.
Well, I have. Just not with someone I didn’t know and who might do it right.
Phantom_Shadow: Make no mistake, I’ll have your soul trembling beneath me, but I will not hurt you. You have three safe words. Red-everything stops. Yellow-we slow down or pause. Green-you’re all fucking mine and nothing is off limits.
Hidden_Embers: Green for now. See you tomorrow…Shadow.
Oh, my god. Oh, my fucking god. Please don’t be a serial killer.
Phantom_Shadow: Good night, pup.
Someone needs to lock me up and throw away the keys because I have officially lost my fucking mind. I plug my phone in and squeeze my eyes shut. This night needs to end because tomorrow my wet dream is going to become reality.
* * *
I check my phone for the umpteenth time today, swiping away the notifications I don’t care about.
Still no messages from Shadow. My shoulders sag when the thought that this was all a joke to whoever was on the other side of the conversation digs its claws into my mind.
I’ve been a ball of anxious energy today.
My mind struggled to stay in reality, constantly flickering to the possibilities of tonight.
If I so much as dry-humped my pillow, I would come.
The unknown and excitement have caused me to change my underwear twice already today.
“You can take off,” I tell Jade. “I’ll mop on my way out.”
“Have fun on your date tonight,” she replies, wiggling her fingers in a wave on her way out the door.
We had such large classes today that we teamed up for our sessions.
I grab the spray mop and work my way backward toward the door.
I’m not sure what else to call getting railed by a stranger, so I told her I had a date.
Citrus and pine float through the air as I mop as quickly as I can so I can get home with plenty of time to get ready for Shadow.
That’s what I’m calling him. If this date is a bust, I’m going to be so pissed.
I haven’t looked forward to something this badly in an awful long time.
I hang the mop on the hook next to the door and grab my bag, locking the door behind me.
When I get home, I head straight to my shower, placing my phone on the back of the toilet so I can reach it in case my…
my what? My fling? In case my fling messages me.
I’m in the middle of shaving my legs when my phone goes off.
I jump, nicking my shin with the razor blade.
“Shit,” I hiss. A trail of blood slithers across the shower floor towards the drain.
After drying my hands on a towel, I swipe up on my screen.
He sent the location. Relief and anxiety battle for dominance.
He sent me the location. It’s really happening.
I have to be there in less than two hours.
I finish shaving and wash everything twice.
Why I think I need to smell and feel extra amazing for someone I’ll likely never see again is beyond me.
I lather on my favorite lotion and spritz myself with jasmine and sandalwood-smelling perfume before I pull up the location on my maps.
Zooming in, my heart pounds as if it’s attempting to escape my chest to flee.
Flee from this madness. The pin is in the middle of a large patch of woods with zero houses anywhere near.
My hands tremble as I finish getting ready.
He said to wear running shoes, so I might as well pair that with leggings and a tank top.
I put my hair in a high ponytail and grab a piece of paper, scribbling the location with a note that says If I go missing, this is where my body should be, and place it on top of my pillow.
I pull a zip-up hoodie from a hanger in my closet and head towards either my dream come true or a nightmare under the moonlight.