30. Ivy Jade
Ivy Jade
After the pumpkin carving, I walked the entire chateau to find Romeo. He was nowhere to be found. I asked around, and nothing.
By the time I got back to the tables, everyone was scattered amongst the grounds, the pumpkins gone. The coordinators were prepping for the dinner rehearsal in a couple of hours.
I was at a crossroads. On the one hand, I needed to find Romeo because he was the best man and we’d probably be walking down the aisle together during the rehearsal, but I desperately needed to see how he was doing before that happened.
He looked so hurt when I had to leave earlier.
Admittedly, I didn’t want to leave his side either, but Mami’s priorities were mine.
And on the other hand… the wedding would be so botched if the rings were missing; I couldn’t do that to Tallulah.
If I didn’t find them tonight, I’d have to figure out a plan B—the wedding’s tomorrow.
I walked back into the chateau and looked upward, where the bedroom hallway was several floors above me. I hadn't noticed it earlier, but Romeo's door was shut. He was staying at the end of the hallway, furthest from everyone else.
I knew he had to be inside. Quickly, I made my way to the door, knocking on it. “Ro?” I said.
It was so quiet inside; there was no way he was in there.
After a few knocks, I was only met with silence. I’d have to look for him later. I needed to find those rings and make it back in time for the rehearsal dinner. Ro wouldn’t be mad once I talked to him… right? He’s a great listener; he’s patient and so understanding.
I started to walk away.
The door creaked open. I looked back to see Romeo, his hair disheveled and parted down the middle. “Hey, wait!” he answered, a little frazzled. “Shit… Sorry about that. I was asleep.” He leaned in the doorway, his hand fiddling with the brass knob.
My smile widened. “Oh, I’m glad I caught you. I need to talk to you about earlier. Can I come in?” I asked.
Romeo looked behind him for a few moments. He hesitated and stared down at his watch. “Umm… yeah. Of course.” He was paler than usual. Ghostly even.
“Are you okay?” I asked, searching his face. “You look sick.”
He stepped aside to let me in, staring at the floor. “Yeah. I wasn’t feeling well earlier, so I came up here to get some rest.”
“Seriously! Oh my god, what happened?” I asked, reaching up to his face. I stood on my tippy toes and placed the back of my hand on his forehead. He was warm, but not hot. “Is it your stomach? You didn’t drink the spiked apple cider, did you?”
Romeo laughed, wringing his hands.
“No. It wasn’t the cider. Just a headache.” He shook his head. “It’s fine, though. I’m being weird; don’t mind me.”
His eyes flickered down at his watch again. I contemplated calling the kitchen staff to bring him some chicken noodle soup.
“I’m really sorry about my mom earlier. She can be kind of brash,” I said, looking around his room.
His suite was a tad smaller than mine, and he had a couple of suitcases open.
We sat on his bed together, and the sun fell through the window and onto Romeo.
He was glowing like a saint. “I really wanted to carve our pumpkin together. That whole situation out on the patio was… I don’t know. I should explain—”
“I know about Antonio, Ivy Jade,” Ro said assuringly, chewing at the corner of his mouth. “You mentioned him before, and Tallulah was talking about it to the group outside.”
“Oh,” I murmured. I felt the instant need to explain the whole agreement with my parents. My conflict. My feelings. But how could I explain that my family didn’t approve of Ro? Did that even matter, considering what I felt for him was real?
“I get it,” he said quickly. Ro nodded his head. “Honestly, you don’t have to explain. I know the situation you're in.”
“It’s just that… lately I’ve felt like my family is a bit intense. Well, more so my parents. They’re particular about certain things, and it’s starting to feel a little two-faced, you know?”
“Two-faced?” Romeo looked up quickly, his whole attention on me.
“Yeah. My mom is one way in front of everyone, and she’s a different person when it’s just her and me.
Whenever I go along with her demands, my life is so much easier.
I guess it’s hard to explain. But it’s getting harder to trust my own decisions and myself around them.
Sometimes I feel like they don’t understand me, and I’m just now realizing that. ”
“And do you trust them with Antonio?” Ro asked quietly, like he wasn’t ready for an answer.
I didn’t know what to say. When it took me a while to respond, I started to feel ashamed of myself.
To some degree, it did matter. It mattered that my life as I knew it would be totally different than anything I ever experienced before.
Was I brave enough for change? Could I let it all go for something potentially better?
“I’m not sure. Yes? No?” I looked away, struggling to respond. “I know what I feel right now. Sitting here with you. I just want it to be like this forever…”
“But my forever looks a lot different than yours,” Ro said, his hand landing softly over mine. I hated that he thought that. I couldn’t accept that answer. Not from him.
“It doesn’t have to look so different though… I mean, you've worked hard like Gustav. You make your own money. That’s not even a concern—”
“I’m sleeping on my sister's couch right now, Ivy Jade.” Ro stopped me, holding my hand.
I was so surprised I laughed.
“What?” I asked.
“I quit my job months ago, and I live with my sister. I don’t even have my own place,” he said evenly, spitting it out like it was stuck inside him. I waited for him to give me that stupid smirk of his. It never came.
“You’re joking,” I said, not mean, but suspicious. “You always do this. You say something serious, but it’s just some sarcastic prank.”
“I’m not joking.” He furrowed his brow. “I didn't want to admit it… I know how important things like this are to you.”
My chest tightened. “They are important, but I don’t understand—”
“You have to accept that this,” he gestured between us, “is just a fantasy,” Ro said sternly, like his own heart was being crushed. “Here at the chateau, with the butlers and gardens… that’s your world. It’s not mine. I’m only a guest in it.”
“You're not a guest! You’re part of our family!” I scolded him, frustrated by the tidal wave of information he had just dumped on me.
Why did he hide this? Why did it take him so long to tell me?
And what did it mean for our future now that he did?
Ro slowly pulled his hand away, but I stole it back.
“No. This can’t be it. We can figure this out…
” I searched for the right answer in his cold eyes.
“If you leave with me, all that’s waiting for you is a one-bedroom apartment with little to no privacy…
and I know my situation isn’t forever, but I also know it will never be this!
” He looked around, waving at the gold-tasseled curtains and chandeliers, the textured wallpaper, and the grand canopy bed.
“I can’t give you all of this, Ivy Jade. All I have is me…”
But you’re enough—I wanted to say.
Romeo was enough.
High Jynx was enough.
All these men were enough in their own way, and the only person who wasn't enough… was me.
I wasn’t enough.
My indecisiveness. My fears. They were all curses that chipped away at my ability to tell Romeo that all I needed was him.
I was frozen. I couldn’t do it.
“I don’t understand…” I mumbled. “If you don’t have your old job, then what do you do?”
“That’s what I need to tell you—”
“Ivy Jade! Dónde estás?” Mami shouted from down the hall; her voice carried through the door.
Ro looked down at his watch, his knee bobbing up and down.
“I have to go…” he said sheepishly. “I’m sorry.”
“We’re not done yet,” I said, shaking my head. Outside his window, the sun was setting. I had to leave for the Scare Park. I needed to find the rings and talk to High Jynx.
“Goodbye, Ivy Jade…” Ro said as I stood up. He gave me one last look, that smirk I loved, but without the light in his eyes.
Damn it.
“Ivy Jade!” Mami yelled, just a bit closer.
I cursed as I left Ro alone in his room, closing his door. I hurried down the hall, groaning as Mami waited for me by the staircase. Her hands were placed firmly on her hips like some authoritarian statue. “There you are! Where did you go?”
“I was talking to Ro,” I said quickly, passing her to go the other direction.
She gawked. “Where are you going? The rehearsal dinner is starting soon,” Mami called out, following me on a mission. Not this again.
“I have to just run a quick errand; I’ll be right back,” I tried to reassure her, but her face wasn’t buying it.
“Where have you been going every night this week? You’ve been missing all the activities, mija. And now, you are skipping your date with Antonio?” Mami scolded.
I sighed. “This has nothing to do with Antonio. I’ll be back in like an hour. I’ll see him then.”
“What about Tallulah? Do she and your brother know you’re leaving again?” she pressed on.
Had she been watching me? How else would she know I’d been leaving? God, this woman was driving me nuts, monitoring everything I did under a microscope! “If she asks, just tell her I’ll be right back! It’s no big deal. I swear to you.”
“I don’t like this attitude you’ve been taking with me… no.” Right when she was about to pull on my arm, I withdrew.
“I already told you, I’ll be back. Stop treating me like I’m six years old. Don’t touch me like that anymore.”
“Stop living in the clouds, Ivy Jade.” She raised her voice. “You read far too many books; your mind is delusional. Antonio will be waiting for you when you get back. You need to make this work, otherwise–”
“Otherwise, what!?” I cut her off, exasperated.
She eyed me hard and long. “Otherwise, we’re going to cut you off until you get married. Understand? No more big birthday celebrations, no more using the private jet. None of it. It will all be gone!”
My jaw clenched. The possibility of losing everything was slowly becoming a reality. That couldn’t happen. I was mentally stuck.
“Your father and I already talked. If you don’t make it work with Antonio, then we will do what we need to do until you grow up and realize this is your life.
Your life isn’t just about margaritas by the pool.
Or reading your books all day. No. We came to this country so you and your brother could have a better life than we did, to be something more. ”
Everything she was saying hurt as if she’d slapped me across the face.
How could she not see what was in front of her?
Mine and Gustav’s entire lives were better than theirs.
They had accomplished the impossible, and…
I didn’t understand why I had to marry the person they chose.
Just to appease them? I knew I had to push forward and get Mami to see things differently.
“You and Papi never let me try things my way. You restricted what I could and couldn’t do, and now my identity revolves around this marriage!
I don’t know who I am without it! Would you still see me as your daughter if I say no to Antonio?
Or am I just a disappointing investment that you and Papi made?
” I asked, tears filling my eyes. I was falling apart in the hallway, trying to stay strong, all while realizing I was just an object to my own family.
She listened to what I said, took it in, and nodded.
But the silence she forced between us started to gnaw at me.
“Life doesn’t work out how we want, does it?
Make it work with Antonio; otherwise, you’re out.
And don’t think you’ll be able to live at our house anymore.
Your room will be off-limits. You know your goal now, Ivy Jade.
Forget about Romeo. He’s a nice man, but he’s not for you.
He never will be, so long as you want to keep the life you have right now. ”
“I have to go,” I told her, biting into my words. It was all I could say, resisting the urge to yell in her face. It would only make matters worse, and my back was already against the wall.
I ran downstairs to the ride share waiting for me outside the chateau, contemplating my options.
If I chose someone like High Jynx or even Romeo, that meant living a life I’d never known. That was terrifying to me. It was no different from someone moving to a completely different country and not knowing the language; the culture shock would be like an earthquake beneath their feet.
Look at me, what the hell was I doing right now?
Riding over to some amusement park to find the rings I lost?
This whole week, I’d been giddy to see High Jynx, and now…
I didn’t want to see him. Amusement parks were for children, and I wasn’t one anymore.
Mami was right, I needed to stop living in the clouds.
This was such a joke, and I needed to snap out of this before I made the biggest mistake of my life.