31. Romeo
Romeo
Ihated how awkward I was with Ivy Jade when she came to my room.
The mixture of all my feelings, good and bad, rushed through me the moment she looked at me with those soft, pretty eyes of hers.
I felt guilty, and jealous, and impatient, especially because I just wanted to get to the Scare Park and see Ivy Jade as High Jynx, the person she didn’t seem to reject any moment she got the chance to.
Now that I was here, in my safe space in the park, I kept digging my hand into my pocket, making sure the ring box was still in there. It was a deep pocket, but it would be just my luck that I’d lose them before admitting to Ivy Jade I had them all along.
The adrenaline coursing through my veins gave me bursts of energy, and the Halloween Eve crowd was rowdy and excited as I ran and skidded through the park, frightening anyone I could.
It had been nervous energy, too. Ivy Jade would be back, and I would finally be telling her the truth.
A million different scenarios ran through my head. Would she slap me? Curse me out in front of the entire Scare Park? Or would she jump for joy and not care that I tricked her like the total asshole I was?
Ah, fuck. Who was I kidding?
I knew I betrayed her, and I knew I deserved the worst, but fuck, I just didn’t want her to hate me.
Ivy Jade was so much more than a girl controlled by her parents.
She was her own woman. And though I didn’t have as much money as Antonio did, I knew that if she could forgive me, I could make her happy. We could be happy together.
I felt bad for lying to her, but maybe, in some sick way, the lie brought us closer together.
It caused something within Ivy Jade to change.
Her eyes were opened to a world outside of her own, and I owed that to High Jynx—a fucking clown who showed her it was okay to be scared and still move forward.
Without our time at the Scare Park, would she have ever learned to like me as myself? Me as Romeo, her old nemesis?
I wanted to believe it. I knew it would all work out. That nothing—no money, no fancy house or expensive trips—could overcome the growth she made within the past week. She was better than that.
Just fucking tell her how you feel, and it will be okay. It will be okay. It will be okay. It will all be okay.
When I saw Ivy Jade walking through the crowd, looking drop-dead gorgeous with her beautiful long hair and a dress that took my breath away, I stopped in my tracks.
People scattered around me, and I could no longer hear the screams and laughs in the distance or the chatter around me.
It wasn’t just because she looked beautiful and made my heart skip a beat; it was because of the look on her face.
She wasn’t happy to see me like she had been the last few nights. Her brows were furrowed with worry, and her eyes were wide and cautious.
Was she worried about the rehearsal dinner and missing out on it? I hadn’t expected her until much later, when it was over. I had told Gustav I wouldn’t be able to make it because of work, and he understood. He said the ceremony wouldn’t be complicated and I would be fine.
I confidently walked up to her, taking both of her hands in mine. “Hello, Princess,” I whispered through the loud crowd.
“We need to talk.” Her voice was firm, everything like the Ivy Jade I had known before, nothing like the Ivy Jade I knew now.
She pulled her hands away from mine, and the sting in my chest shot through me like a jolt of electricity.
I followed her as she led us to a secluded corner in the park, away from the shrieks, laughter, and happiness. I felt nothing but panic as she stopped and turned, looking up at me with her lips pursed together and her hands clasped in front of her chest.
“High Jynx,” she started, then laughed and shook her head, rolling her eyes to herself. “Or whatever your name is…”
I physically recoiled. What the fuck is her deal?
“I can’t do this,” she began again, putting her hands on her hips. “I can’t do whatever this is. This is so unlike me, and I have no idea what came over me.”
I was so startled that I had no idea what to say. I was frozen in place, my hands shoved in my pockets, the ring box gripped tightly in my palm.
She seemed like she was waiting for me to respond, to argue, but when I didn’t, she continued. “There are things that are expected of me. My family… they have my life set out in a certain way, and if I don’t abide by their rules, my life will be completely over.”
I bit my lip hard, nodding, the anger rising hot in my chest.
“Our lives are so different, and there’s just absolutely no way this could ever work in any sort of way.
” Her voice was still firm, still unwavering, with a harshness that I couldn’t believe I had forgotten all about.
“I mean, like… you’re a clown running around scaring people for a living, and that’s just something—”
I cut her off. “Then why the fuck have you been clinging to my arm every night, following me around like a little lovesick puppy?” I snapped. “Why come up and kiss me and let me fuck you and come inside of you?”
Her eyes widened, her jaw dropped, and fury crossed her face.
“I don’t know what came over me! And it’s not like I was the only one!
You think I was the lovesick puppy?” she huffed.
“With the carousel, and backstage, and the secluded area you took me to just to ‘talk?’” She used air quotes like I was just a piece of shit who wanted a quick fuck.
My face turned hot with a mixture of embarrassment, rage, and fucking heartbreak. “I did those things because I cared about you! And you were the one throwing yourself at me! You fucking begged for it. Why would you do that with ‘just a clown’?!” I threw her air quotes back at her.
I towered over her, and I almost felt bad as she looked up at me with wide eyes, like she was afraid of me.
“It was a stupid fantasy that I had to get out of my system,” she hissed. “Now I see that it was a mistake!”
“Oh, bullshit,” I snapped, growling at her. “None of it was a mistake. Mistake is just a word you’re using to excuse the fact that you had feelings for someone like me. Someone who isn’t as privileged as you!” I said, reaching for her wrist.
Ivy Jade looked shocked, her body pulled against mine.
“High Jynx!” she screeched, looking up at me.
“Just shut up,” I said, taking her arm, yanking the sleeve down. There, in the moonlight, dark and permeating on her skin was the black tattoo along her forearm.
She stared down at the quote from Roman Knight, unblinking and shaking.
“This…” I said, holding her still. “This is the truth. This is who you are and who you tried to hide. You’re not afraid of monsters, Ivy Jade. You’re afraid to be yourself because who you are has been judged throughout your entire existence.”
I let go of her wrist, and her arm fell to her side.
I shook my head, emotion simmering in my voice. “You’ve spent so much time reading about love that you only think it exists in books. But it’s real. And it’s standing in front of you right now.”
She grew silent. Whatever anger she came in with was crumbling, and what I saw behind it was sadness.
“And to tell me you liked me,” I spat, disappointed. “What was that for? Just part of your fantasy?”
My fists clenched by my side as my heart threatened to burst. I couldn’t believe this was happening.
“I did like you! I do! I just—” she started.
But I cut her off. “Stop it. Just stop it! You don’t need to protect my feelings by saying that, and you don’t need to justify your words for the sake of your actions,” I said, reaching into my pocket, pulling out the ring box. “You made it clear who you are… so let me do the same.”
I quickly gave Ivy Jade the rings, sticking them in her hand like a cursed object I needed to get rid of.
She stared at it, confused for a moment. It looked like she couldn’t even comprehend what it was I just gave her. When she unclasped the top and peered inside, she shook her head.
“It’s the rings…” she muttered in disbelief. “Where did you—”
“I had them the entire time,” I said, my body shaking, reaching a point where it felt like I’d shatter onto the floor.
“I took them from the ditch the night I first found you… I held on to them in the hope of seeing you at the park again. That’s all I wanted.
To spend time with you. Not to fuck you.
Not to treat you like some one-night stand.
But to get to know you… the beautiful girl who saw me for who I was. ”
Ivy Jade grew quiet. She stared at the box with tears in her eyes. Our hearts were breaking, and I knew it wasn’t just her fault—not her parents’ or Antonio’s—it was a culmination of everything we did to each other.
“I’m a liar. I lied. I’m sorry, and I know it’s fucked up, and I know I strung you along, but… goddamn it, I love you, Ivy Jade!” I shouted, frustrated beyond control. I couldn’t keep it in any longer, the realest part of my truth seeping out like poison. “I love you…” I repeated slower. Softer.
Ivy Jade stared down at the tips of her shoes.
“You don’t even know me…” she finally said, and her bottom lip trembled.
I wiped the sting out of my eyes. This was wrong. It was all wrong and ruined, and there was no need to even admit who I was. Ivy Jade had made her choice.
"You're right," I muttered. "I don't."
I turned and began to storm away, my face fuming with anger, embarrassment, heartbreak, more anger.
I felt like a fucking fool. How could I have ever believed Ivy Jade was any different than the spoiled little girl I once knew?
Just because we had a few good nights together?
Because she liked to read and was nice to me for a little bit?
I ran into the crowd, tears filling my eyes, more so with anger than anything. I growled and seethed at everyone I passed by, nearly knocking shoulders with a few people around me.
I ended up near the backstage where the crowd had dwindled, and I let out a furious shout into the darkened forest, then jumped and skidded down into a ditch where I could be alone.
And maybe that was for the best. Maybe now I could really disappear, and she would never know who High Jynx truly was.
And I hoped she’d regret that for the rest of her life.