Epilogue
One year later.
“Alright, you need to get out of here,” Finn says behind the mic.
“Yeah.” I rub a hand over my forehead and slip the guitar band over my head. “I played like shit today.”
“You did, but it’s okay,” he laughs.
I place my guitar in its case with trembling hands. I’ve been on edge all day—all week actually but I think I’ve hidden it well enough from Seth. My boyfriend Seth. Holy shit, it’s insane. And not, really. Because nothing makes more sense to me than being with Seth.
“You ready for tonight?” Finn asks, clasping a hand on my shoulder, making me flinch. “Calm down, buddy,” he laughs.
I clench my fists open and closed, trying to force my hands to stop shaking.
“You’ve got nothing to worry about,” Ollie says from behind the drums.
“I know,” I say, blowing out a breath. “It’s just… Maybe I should’ve gone big? Maybe some big—”
“You’ll do fine, Kaden. You’ve been dragging this out for a week, just get it over with.”
“Dude,” Finn says, shooting Ollie a look. “That’s not how it works.”
“I’m just saying—”
“Well, don’t.” Finn gives Ollie one more look before he turns to me. “It’s going to be great. Like he said, you’ve got nothing to worry about. Now, go home.”
I take a deep breath, nod and pick up my guitar case.
“Wish me luck. Or don’t. I don’t know.”
“Good luck, man!” They both laugh at me as I walk out through the door.
When I get home, the smell of food hits me before I’ve even made it inside. I put the case down and kick off my shoes. Blowing out a shaky breath, I call, “Hey, baby!” And I know that even though I’ve said it a thousand times over the year, that one word will get me one of Seth’s big smiles.
“Hey, baby,” he parrots as I walk into the kitchen.
I clock him behind the stove wearing an over-sized, cropped tee and my sweatpants low on his hips.
He walks around the kitchen island to meet me halfway with that big grin, dimple on display and all, and my stomach flipflops.
Seth places a kiss on my lips, and I wrap my arms around him and nuzzle my face against his neck.
“I’ve missed you today,” I say, taking a big whiff of him. God, he smells so good. Like home.
“Missed you, too. How’d it go?” he asks, as we pull back and he goes to stand in front of the stove, lifting the lid off the pot and peeking down.
“Good,” I say, even though it’s not really true. I couldn’t stop thinking about tonight all throughout our jam session. I lean back against the fridge, biting my bottom lip and tap a hand outside the right pocket of my jeans.
I’ve run this through my head a million times. How to go about it. When and where and how, and fuck, I’ve been all up in my head for weeks—and especially this past week.
And then I thought, fuck it, I’m just going to do it. Nothing will ever be perfect enough either way so… Back to basics, or something.
“So…” I say, clearing my throat. Seth turns around, looking at me and I let out a nervous chuckle, crossing my arms. “Do you remember how this all started?”
“What, us?”
I nod.
He snorts. “Of course, I do.” Shrugging he adds, “We were standing right here.” And yeah, it’s a stupid question because it’s only been a year and a half and he’s not fucking Dory from Finding Nemo.
A year and a half and so much has changed since then. Seth started seeing a therapist a year ago, to help him cope with his high school trauma. It’s done wonder for his confidence and self-esteem.
I started seeing one too nine months ago, and she’s helped me work through a lot. Some issues I didn’t even know I had until I met her, and then the obvious stuff like my fear of COVID, along with my trust and abandonment issues.
I’m still with the band and we even did a gig last month, not a huge happening but still. Seth was there, of course, front-row with Lou and Iggy, wearing all black, tight clothes and I could barely keep my hands to myself when looking at him.
Seth. My person. My best friend and boyfriend. And hopefully soon…
I reach for his hand, stroking a thumb over the back of it, hoping he doesn’t feel how my hand is shaking like a leaf.
“I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“Are you breaking up with me?” he says with a half-snort and a small frown.
“What? No! Why—”
“Isn’t that what people say? When it’s something bad coming?”
I frown. “What?” Shaking my head, I add, “No, that’s more like, hey, we need to talk.”
“But that’s what you said?” He narrows his eyes at me like I’m the crazy one here.
“No, I said I wanted to talk to you.”
“That’s the same thing.”
“No, it’s… Seth!” I take a breath, gripping his hand a little tighter. “Shut up! Okay? Respectfully, but shut up. I’m not breaking up with you.” I look him straight in the eyes, nodding to back up the words. My god, is he insane? Break up? Good fucking luck on ever getting rid of me!
He nods. “Okay.”
“Okay. Seth,” I say, shooting him a smile before I take a big breath.
Here goes nothing. “Seth Atticus Avery.” I stroke my thumb over the back of his hand again before I lace our fingers together.
“I love you more than I thought possible to love anyone. You make me the happiest man alive and I’m so fucking grateful I get to call you mine.
You’re the absolute best part of me. The love of my life.
” I lick my dry lips. “So, I’ve been thinking. ”
He blinks at me with those beautiful ocean eyes. “About what?”
“No. No, you’re supposed to say, how’d that go?”
He frowns and chuckles. “Why?”
“’Cause I’m trying to recreate something here, okay?”
“What?”
“Baby,” I squeeze his hand once. “Can you just… Please?”
“Okay.”
“So, I’ve been thinking,” I say again.
He bites back a laugh, and my stomach is about to fall out of my ass.
“How’d that go?” he says.
The butterflies in my stomach take flight and a huge smile stretches across my face as I drop down to one knee.
“I’ve got a proposition for you.”
One year later.