Chapter 49
Chapter forty-nine
Audrey
Ilightly rap on Ed’s door and hear his gruff voice on the other side. His large corner office feels abnormally warm as I cross it, slipping into a chair across from his desk. His eyes stayed glued to the computer screen until I’ve been sitting for nearly a minute with my hands in my lap.
The tense energy stirring in the room puts me on edge, my foot shaking annoyingly as I try to brace myself for whatever conversation is about to happen.
“Audrey,” is all Ed says, swiveling in his leather chair to face me with yet again another unreadable expression.
“Ed, how are you?” I asked, knowing he wouldn’t really answer. It was just a formality.
“Listen, I've been going over your portfolio. You haven’t signed on a new client for nearly six weeks.” Disappointment hangs in the air between us, and I try to swallow the rising lump in my throat.
“Yes, I know. I’m sorry—” I don’t know what I was going to tell him, but he doesn’t give me the chance either way.
“Your father and I go way back. Way, way back. You know that.”
I nod, brows creased, not sure where this is going, but know it’s probably nowhere good. “If you were anyone but Samuel’s daughter, you’d be out of this company already. You need to show me you want this.”
I freeze, my breath caught in my throat, the weight of this moment crashing over me. Then a hopeful thought creeps up in my head, one I suspect I've secretly had for a while.
I want him to fire me. I need him to. I want him to give me a way out, to sever the last thread that binds me to this empty, hollow life I’ve created.
“I’m not going to fire you, Miss Elson,” he exasperates, like he read my innermost confession. “But I’m going to transfer you to our auditing team. It will require up to 30 percent travel, and there will be a minor pay cut, but I hardly think that’s worse than being fired. Wouldn’t you agree?”
My gaze shifts from Ed’s face to his hands, then to my own hands. It feels like several minutes pass by before I muster up the courage to speak, but in actuality, it’s merely seconds.
Mere seconds for me to decide to change the trajectory of this year.
Of my life.
“Thank you, Ed, for this second chance. In truth, it’s probably more than I deserve.
But you don’t need to do this because of who my father is.
” Ed sits up straighter, his face creased with confusion.
“The truth is, I haven’t been giving my full attention to this job.
There’s someone else out there who dreams of working here, who’s worked really hard and deserves it, though. ”
“What are you saying, Miss Elson?” His tie strains against his reddened neck and I stand up, inhale deeply, extending my hand towards him.
“Consider this my official resignation notice.”
He goes silent, staring at me with a stiff jaw, and I wait, giving him a few more beats to gracefully accept my handshake, but he doesn’t move, so I drop my arm.
“You had real potential.” He finally breaks the silence and I nod, not disagreeing.
“You’re right. And it’s time I finally use it.”
I respectively turn on my heel, and leave the office, knowing there’s nothing more to add. Once I’m inside the safety of my own office, I lean against the closed door.
My heart races faster than I can handle, but for the first time in a long time, my face breaks into a smile. I don’t know what comes next, but for once, that doesn’t scare me. Whatever I decide, it will be my choice.
I swear, I floated on a cloud into the Irish pub a block from Penny’s apartment.
They have the best happy hour specials, but more specifically, they have a curly haired Irish bartender Penny has this flirty thing with.
I don’t question it, because he keeps our drinks flowing even when the bar is slammed.
So, when I walk in and see Penny sitting at the bar on the green leather stool, her elbows on the counter, laughing at whatever Richard the Irish bartender said, I smile, too.
“G’day, Audrey!” He flashes a crooked grin my way and sets a napkin down next to Penny. We aren’t here that often, but he always remembers my name.
“Hey Richard! An Irish mule for me, please…with a shot of whiskey on the side.”
Penny turns in her stool to look at me with wide eyes.
“I’m celebrating,” I exclaim loudly, placing clasped hands in my lap.
Richard eyes us while mixing our drinks mere feet away.
“Okay…and what’re we celebrating tonight?” Penny cocks her head at me.
I slam my palms on the mahogany bar top. “I quit my job today!”
Richard pauses the pouring of whiskey, while my best friend's jaw drops open. Pulling my hands back in my lap, I add, “And I officially sold my house.”
Richard chuckles, shaking his head, and slams down three shot glasses in front of us.
“I don't get you American lasses, but this calls for a round of shots!”
Penny grabs my arm.
“I literally saw you less than seven hours ago. What in the actual fuck happened today?” She stares at me, not seeming to breathe.
It probably appears like I have finally snapped in her mind. I got dumped a week ago, sold my multi-million dollar home today without ever spending a night there, and quit a coveted job that paid damn well. But I didn’t lose my mind.
“I learned how to say no today,” I simply replied, as Richard fills the shot glasses with Jameson. Even though Penny doesn’t take her eyes off me, waiting for elaboration, she grabs the shot with us, shooting it back.
As the burn of the whiskey wears off, I tell Penny about seeing Rhett this morning. I still hadn’t unpacked everything it made me feel, and maybe that would take some time. But it had shaken something in me. Something that made me finally stand up to Ed and say no.
Penny was empathetic, never judging, just listening.
“So that’s it, huh?”
“That’s it, Pen.”
We didn’t talk much more about it, and I was grateful for that. We fell back into old ways, chatting about anything and everything random. I also asked her if it would be okay to keep living with her for a bit longer. She was more than okay with that.
We ended up staying, ordering appetizers, and laughing as Richard entertained us with horrible puns.
I didn’t even realize how bad I needed this.
“Okay, so I’m sorry to bring the mood down but I have to tell you something,” Penny starts, and I pause, nervous butterflies filling my stomach.
“This day is already one for the books, so just tell me.”
“Maybe it’s more of a request…but I need my rhinestone cowgirl boots back.
I have a date this coming weekend, and I want to dazzle him with my unpredictable personality and insanely perfect legs.
” Penny sucked her drink through the tiny red straw, waiting on my answer as my fingers dug into the seat cushion beneath me.
I exhale a tiny laugh. “Okay, so the funny thing is, they are actually at Rhett’s house.
” Penny blinks, unfazed by my words because she already knew that.
“But I will buy you new ones. Just tell me how much they are, and I'll send you the money. Or we can go shopping! I want to pick up a few new things.” Penny’s strained smile makes me stop talking.
“That’s so generous but I really need those ones.” Penny swirls her straw smugly in her glass. “They are my favorite shoes. I wouldn’t ask this of you if they weren’t important. I got them in Nashville for a concert and they aren’t replaceable.”
I cringe, covering my face with my hands.
“You weren’t going to leave everything at his house forever, right?” she asks, and I have to look away from her prying eyes.
“No, not forever. But he hasn’t texted me about getting my stuff…and I haven’t texted him asking for it either.”
Penny sighs. “This is insane Audrey, you realize that right? One of you is going to have to be the bigger person. You need closure.” She pauses, then murmurs. “And I need those boots back.”
“I know, I know. But it's complicated, Pen. I still love him. Even if he never talks to me again, I know a part of me will always love him.” My voice shakes, and the high I felt walking into this pub thirty minutes ago has completely vanished.
“I know you love him. And I have a feeling he still loves you.”
“Ha—no. If he did, he would’ve called me, he would’ve talked to me.” I turn away from Penny, quickly dabbing my eyes. Exhaling slowly, I try to steady my racing heart. “But I will text him. I will get your boots back. Promise.”
Throwing her arms around my shoulders, Penny squeezes tight. “Thank you! And hey, this may open up communication between you two, who knows?”
I hesitate, unsure how much I want to unload in this very public bar. But no one warned me finding yourself could hurt this much, or that self-discovery comes with grief. And grief comes in uncontrollable waves.
“I think he was right, Pen.”
“Hmm?” She turns so we are facing each other, knee to knee.
“When I first met him, I didn’t know what I wanted.
I just knew I wanted to feel wanted. Was that so wrong?
” I asked as tears well in my eyes again.
Penny shakes her head, waiting patiently, as I rub my thumb across my trembling lips.
“It didn’t take long to fall in love with him though.
And I started to fall in love with who I was when I was with him… and for some reason that scared me.”
Penny places her hand over mine.
“I want to be that person all the time. Even if Rhett doesn’t…
” I pause, suddenly aware finishing that sentence would break me in a way I wasn’t ready to confront.
If Rhett never spoke to me again; it would shatter me.
“I can’t go back to how I lived before. I want to be this version of me…
for me.” I nod, sitting up straighter on the stool, feeling a metaphorical weight lift off my shoulders as I meet Penny's shining gaze.
“I’ve loved every version of you, but I have to say, this one’s kinda my favorite.”
We both chuckle, at the absurdity of us crying in a pub at six o’clock on a Monday evening. Right on brand for our friendship.
“So now what?”
“I think it starts with me getting back your rhinestone boots.”