Chapter 38 #2
Come on, Davian. It's a girl friendship. Something you just can't compete with as a father.
Maybe it was just Quill. Once you got to know her better, you wanted only the best for her. Even if that meant you easily forgot what was best in the process...
“Morning,” I heard Quill's cautious voice, immediately sensing her presence, but I didn't look up.
Clumsy Hearts
Ahmet Kenan Bilgic, Turgut Mavuk
It was as if my whole body came to life, ready to react to her every word, every movement, every facial expression, to interact with her.
It was too easy for me to react to her. To exist with her. To exist for her.
That was precisely the problem. Looking into her eyes meant risking her seeing the truth. And now that she was here, it didn't make it any easier.
It wasn't her fault that she came to me in my dreams, damn it. It wasn't her fault that she was here. Our lives simply gave us challenges that we had to somehow make it through alive. So it had been the right decision to take her in. I didn't want her anywhere else.
I lifted my head, not even having to force a smile. It just came naturally. And she mirrored it, her gaze fixed on me.
“Morning.”
The purple bruise on her neck wiped the smile off my face. I immediately wanted to strangle something. Someone.
Shocked at myself, I cleared my throat, whereupon Quill immediately looked at Lara and my gaze lost itself in the dark brown knit sweater and black sweatpants that Lara must have given her.
Only now did I notice once again that I had always seen her in the same navy blue knit sweater and the same black pants, as if she owned nothing else.
“Morning, sleepyhead. Coffee? Tea? Or toast?”
Lara got up and walked to the toaster.
“I'm not a...” Quill wanted to protest, but I was quicker, my gaze fixed on Lara.
“In her defense, I'm not usually an early riser.”
Lara grinned. “He has a point.”
“And yet you're awake so early.” Quill's gaze was on me, so I looked back at her, caught out. “Didn't sleep well?”
Fuck.
“Sort of...”
I suppressed a cough and poured myself more coffee, even though I had already drunk far too much and was suddenly wide awake.
“Can I sit here?”
I was forced to look up and immediately slid to the side, even though she only wanted to sit diagonally across from me, where Lara had been sitting until now.
“Yes, please sit down. I’ll just move over to Dad.” Lara looked around the kitchen. “Where is Streusel when you want to feed him for once?”
Quill smirked.
“He ran into me on the stairs.”
Lara sighed and placed two pieces of toast in front of Quill.
“Thanks.”
Sparks
Coldplay
Lara left the kitchen cursing quietly, and Quill watched her go with a grin.
The corners of her mouth were like goddamn magnets for my eyes, and I couldn't look away.
To make matters worse, she looked back at me, holding my gaze like she had done last night when I had rubbed the ink off her face. At one point, she had closed her eyes.
Suppressing a swallow, I tried to push out of my mind how unabashedly I had stared at her lips at that moment, how I had craved another kiss like the one we had shared on our second encounter, how hard I had become... It had driven me to run my fingers over her neck. Parchment.
I would have loved to follow her into that shower, to take all the time in the world to wash the ink off her body.
Without being asked, all the blood rushed to my crotch and I gripped the coffee cup tightly.
A storm of butterflies raged in my stomach. Butterflies that I wanted to suffocate with all my might.
It was one thing to take her in and be there for her, but where did the line blur between friendship and... us?
Just like last night, the urge to put as much distance between us as possible grew. However, the urge to be close to her and make sure she had everything she needed fought harder.
The mere thought that she had traded her body for a damn roof over her head at sixteen ruined me.
“I don't want to burden you for long,” she began, looking away, grabbing a piece of toast and hastily spreading melting butter on it. “I'm going to leave Maplecrest and...”
“You're staying here. And you're going to participate in the debates as my candidate.”
Those words had to be mine, even though I had no control over them.
Quill's stare spoke volumes.
“My father will blow my cover as soon as the town finds out I'm his daughter.”
“He can't possibly want you to go to prison.”
“Does it seem that impossible to you?”
She raised both eyebrows, leaned back against the backrest, and pulled both legs up onto the bench before placing the plate on her knees and biting into the buttered toast.
“He’d be rid of me.”
She no longer looked at me, shrugged as if the subject was neither unpleasant nor upsetting to her.
“His biggest worry gone. What more could he want?”
Her words sparked an unfamiliar anger in me that overwhelmed me. Because it was directed at Joseph.
The urge to bombard her with questions until the Joseph-Quill puzzle finally made complete sense, intensified as if the ominous storm cloud hanging over us all wasn’t big enough already.
But it would be tactless. It wasn't up to me how much she told me, when she told me, or if she told me anything at all.
I gritted my teeth, feeling powerless.
“Then the world won't find out.”
She paused with the toast in front of her mouth, raised both eyebrows again, her gaze alert.
“You'll keep it to yourself?”
My first impulse had been to drive to Monica's, tell her everything, and confront Joseph in the next faculty meeting at Maplecrest until I had all the information I needed.
Until remorse was etched on his face. Remorse for something I had nothing to do with, and yet it felt as if Joseph had hurt me.
He had failed his daughter. On every possible level.
My gaze fixed on the bruises on her neck.
This man was a monster.
“As much as I'd like to,” I gritted out, trying to calm myself at the same time. “I can't make that decision for you.”
The whole truth was, I wanted to prevent her from going to prison. Even if she only got a fine, her record would no longer be clean. She would have a criminal record, and that alone could ruin your life in so many ways.
If the truth about Quill ever came out and Joseph decided to put his own daughter behind bars, I would tear him apart.
My cell phone rang and I stared at the name on the small display, gritting my teeth.
“Please don't tell him I'm here.”
Hesitantly, I looked at Quill, torn about what my next steps would be, who could know about this...
The mere fact that she was living with her mentor could be enough to disqualify her from the debates. That I was her professor didn't make it any better. People would talk. People would pay attention to things I was trying to suppress. My job was on the line.
I nodded slowly.
Lara was just entering the kitchen, Streusel in her arms, and I took the opportunity to put some distance between Quill and myself by getting up and leaving the kitchen with my cell phone.
Forest Woodlands
The Guild of Ambience
“I'm surprised you haven't called each other yet. What is this? Your first fight?” Tony joked as we took a break at one of the swan lakes that adorned Maplecrest's linden parks, after half an hour of jogging and tense silence.
Snorting, I turned away from him and stared at the ducks swimming in circles on the lake's surface.
He should be surprised that I had agreed to this training session at all, but I couldn't let on that I resented him for putting Quill in danger.
“Even if he wanted to talk, I'm not in the mood to look him in the eye.”
I pressed my lips together, feeling Tony's gaze on me.
“She's gone,” he sighed after a long pause, sounding exhausted. As if he had combed the entire town looking for her. At least that would explain the dark circles under his eyes. “Just gone.”
He laughed as if he was about to lose it, and I was glad he couldn't see the triumph on my face.
She was safe. She was home.
“If I get home and she's still not there, I'm calling the police.”
“No.”
It just slipped out.
“What?”
God, I was neither good at keeping secrets nor did I know how I was supposed to lie to my best friend in the long run.
“As far as I understand, you forced this girl to live there. With a man who abuses her and doesn’t give a damn about her well-being.”
My voice was dripping with resentment.
I could feel Tony staring at my back. He seemed to need a moment.
“Father is your mentor.”
He sounded disbelieving, almost indignant, but his statement left me unimpressed.
I turned around to face him.
“My mentor showed me his true colors last night.”