Chapter 10
MAUVE
The advent calendar moved forward one door at a time. So did the week.
One afternoon Mauve and Jason came out of Clever Fox Books with three bags between them—a book on acting for Marcus, a spy novel for Cody, romance paperbacks for her mother, a cookbook for Millie.
Snow caught on the wool of his coat. Carolers sang the Twelve Days from the square.
Strangers recognized him on the sidewalk, and he never seemed to notice.
At Treasure Chest Toys he worked from a list Grace had written out for him and chose eight gifts for the Hayes cousins' children, checking each name off as he went.
In the corner where the baby dolls sat, Mauve let her hand rest on the handle of a toy carriage and then made herself walk away.
Across the store, Jason was stroking the ears of a stuffed rabbit.
He set it in the basket. Neither of them mentioned it.
On the twelfth, the whole town turned out for the tree lighting.
Kris Olaffson worked the square in a Santa hat, handing out candy canes.
People left wrapped gifts under the tree for families who needed them.
Mayor Fontaine announced the Christmas Star winner.
When the lights flickered on, the square broke into a roar of cheering.
Another magical night in Sugarville Grove.
At least for those without a hole in their heart.
One night they met Roan and Reese and the boys at the temporary rink.
She hadn't gotten any better since the year before. But she enjoyed the Christmas music coming through the speakers and the sound of children’s laughter.
Teenagers wove around them moving as if they were one body with six heads.
Despite her lack of skill, she managed to skate the whole hour by holding on to Jason's arm and didn't fall once.
The next night was the ugly sweater party at Max and Charlie's. She’d chosen a grumpy cat in a Santa hat. His sweater had bells that were surprisingly loud. Not that she needed bells to find him in a room. She found him without them, every time. For now.
Other nights they stayed at her house, cooking together and snuggled on the couch under the tree lights, and he told her stories—botched auditions, the time he got fired from a serving job for dropping a two-hundred-dollar decanter of Bordeaux that bled into the carpet.
She told him about her family. Not estranged exactly.
Not in touch either. She missed her mother. She didn't say the rest.
Through all of it, the advent calendar moved forward one door at a time. She didn't let herself count what was left.
In the middle of the month, she headed to Reese’s.
They’d not seen each other as often as they usually did because Mauve was busy with Jason.
But Reese had texted earlier to see if she’d come by for a visit after she was done with work.
She’d happily agreed, stopping on the way for a bottle of wine.
Reese was on the couch in her living room when Mauve let herself in through the kitchen door.
She had the gas fireplace on, and a blanket covered her legs, looking tired and a little pale.
She had her hair up and her face was clean of makeup.
Instead of her usual leggings and workout top, she had on a pair of sweats and an oversized T-shirt with Roan’s gym’s logo on the front. All in all, odd.
“Don’t get up,” Mauve said. “Are you not feeling well?”
“I’m a little tired. My students wore me out today.”
“Do you want wine?” Mauve asked, holding up the bottle to show her.
“Just water for me,” Reese said.
What was with the weak voice? And declining wine?
Her heart stopped. Reese was pregnant.
She set the bottle aside and sat next to her best friend.
“How many weeks are you?” Mauve asked, putting a cheer into her voice she didn’t feel.
“Just seven. I didn’t want to tell anyone until we reached the twelve week mark, but I knew you’d figure it out anyway.”
“I’m so happy for you.” She peered at her friend. “Are you happy?”
“Yes, of course. I’m just feeling like I want to vomit all day long, and I’m also terrified about how I can be there for the boys with a baby.”
“They’re old enough. They’ll be fine,” Mauve said. “You’ll have both of them at college by next fall. In time for the baby.”
“I guess so.”
“Is Roan happy?”
“Over the moon. He keeps texting me every other minute to make sure I’m okay. It’s a tad irritating.”
“But really sweet.”
“That too.” Reese shifted, pulling her legs under her. “Is this okay? You know, for you and me. I hate the idea of anything coming between us.”
“Well, a baby is not going to be that thing. I’m glad for you, but a little jealous. I won’t lie to you about that. I’ll be fine, though, so don’t let my feelings diminish your joy.”
“Oh, Mauve, I’m sorry this whole thing with Jason is hard. You two seem so good together, it’s hard to imagine him leaving.”
“Yeah, I feel the same way.”
The kitchen door banged open. and loud footsteps sounded on the hardwood floors.
“Guess what?” Marcus came bounding into the room like a domesticated bobcat, eyes lit up. If he’d had a bobtail, it would be wagging.
“What’s up?” Reese sat up a little straighter.
“Hi, Mauve,” Marcus said. “Sorry to interrupt.”
“Not at all. You look like you have news,” Mauve said.
“I do. I met with my guidance counselor, and she thinks I should put together an audition tape and apply to acting programs. She walked me through the whole thing. We even picked some schools. My drama teacher helped me decide on what monologues to do. I need two. A classical and a modern. I’m doing Hal from Henry IV Part One for my classical.
It’s the one where he talks to the audience after his loser friends leave and he basically tells everyone he’s pretending to be a screwup so he can surprise everyone later when he becomes a great king.
Mr. Dansen said I have the right energy for it. Which I think is a compliment.”
“I think so too,” Reese said, smiling indulgently.
“For the contemporary one—he wants me to do a monologue from Ordinary People. It’s not a play, but Mr. Dansen showed me a part I could use. Have you guys read the book?”
“Yes, and the movie,” Reese said.
“One of my favorites,” Mauve said.
“It’s a story about grief,” Marcus said. “And survivor’s guilt. All the stuff I understand.”
“Will it be too hard for you to delve into all that?” Reese asked.
Marcus shrugged. “I mean, I kind of have to if I’m serious about being an actor.
It’s not like I think it was worth it to go through all that drama with my mom just so I could be a better actor but it’s …
it seems like the best thing I could do with what happened.
Like putting it into art is a way to understand it. Or something.”
“I understand,” Reese said. “And agree.”
“You should ask Jason to coach you,” Mauve said spontaneously. “He probably has a lot of insight into the whole process. What they’re looking for maybe?”
“I thought so too,” Marcus said. “Do you think he would?”
“For sure,” Reese said. “He’d love to help.”
“And he’s a great teacher,” Mauve said, unable to keep the pride out of her voice. “You should see him with Ollie.”
“Cool, I’ll ask him tonight,” Marcus said. “I’m going to work on memorizing these so I can get to the real stuff.”
“What schools did your counselor suggest?” Reese asked.
Marcus sat on the coffee table, leaning over his legs as he spoke.
“We have a list. Tisch is the one I really want but I don’t know if I can get in.
Mr. Dansen thinks I have a shot at Carnegie Mellon and USC.
BU is a possibility too. University of Vermont will be my backup school, but I really hope I get one of the others.
I send my audition video in and, if they like it, I’m invited out to the school for an in-person one. ”
When Marcus barreled off to his room a few minutes later to start working on memorizing his monologues, Reese turned to Mauve.
“I remember being that age, so excited about ballet. Hoping I’d get in to my dream academy.”
“And you did,” Mauve said loyally.
“Somehow, this feels harder. It’s one thing if I’d failed, but seeing my kid go through it is terrifying. What if he doesn’t get in anywhere he wants to go? What if his heart gets broken?”
“He will get in to one of them. But I get your point. Whatever happens, he knows you and Roan are here for him. He’s lucky.”
“He’s been categorically unlucky for most of his life, but yes, he has us now.”
“Are you worried about the tuition?” Mauve asked. “It’s not like either of you were expecting to have teenagers at age thirty-four. And now a baby on the way.”
Reese nodded, a flush rising to her cheeks. “Jason already told us he wants to pay for the boys’ college.”
“What? Really?” Of course he had. That’s the kind of man he was. A family man, even if he thought differently.
“He said he has the means and wants to take that burden off us. Roan tried to decline, but Jason won in the end. Thank goodness.”
“I can’t wait to be an aunt,” Mauve said.
Was it her fate to only be an aunt and never a mother. That thought made her so morose that she pushed it aside to focus on her friend. “All right, no wine, but how about I make you a cup of herbal tea?”
“That sounds wonderful,” Reese said.
“You stay here. Have a rest. I’ll bring it to you.”
“Maybe some crackers too?”
“I’m on it.”
She left her best friend on the couch and went to the kitchen, thinking about Jason and his big heart. No wonder she loved him.
Yep. She loved him.
Just make the tea, she told herself. Everything’s going to be okay. Somehow.
That night, Jason showed up at her house with a bag full of groceries. “Since you worked all day, I’m cooking for you.”
She leaned against the counter, watching him put items into her refrigerator, thinking how small he made the kitchen appear. And how good he looked moving around in it.