Chapter 17
Hours later,my feet are sore, and I’ve got at least a dozen bags full of clothes, makeup, and lingerie that, despite my protests, Hannah assured me I needed. I learned quickly that it was easier to just go with the flow instead of arguing. Hannah could out stubborn a mule. Plus, anytime I put up a fuss, she’d use Slade as a tie-breaker, and Slade always picked Hannah’s side.
“Why do you always pick Hannah’s side?” I ask Slade after he once again tells the sales lady we will take yet another dress.
Slade pins me to the spot with his dark gaze. “Just following the bosses orders.”
“And what exactly did the boss say?”
Slade’s lips quirk up slightly. “If she likes it, she gets it.”
I let out a frustrated breath. “That’s just ridiculous! Just because I think something is pretty doesn’t mean I need or want it.”
He just shrugs, and Hannah giggles.
I am much more cautious with what I show interest in for the rest of the afternoon. Finally, Hannah seems satisfied that I’ve got everything I need. Honestly, I have enough stuff for three people. Who needs five pairs of shoes? Or ten dresses? Not to mention the twenty bra and panty sets she insisted I get. I’m just one person.
We are heading toward the food court and frozen lemonade and soft pretzel when Hannah steers us toward another shop. I try to dig in my heels, but she points at a beautiful black dress in the window, and I stop fighting her.
“It’s perfect for your dinner date tonight.”
“Hannah, I already have a bunch of dresses to choose from…”
“Yeah, but every woman needs a little black dress.” She gives me a bright smile. “Last one, I promise.”
I laugh and roll my eyes. “That’s what you said last time with the shoes.”
She pouts. “You have to admit those silver heels were worth every dollar.”
She’s not wrong. “Yeah, and I’ll probably break my neck when I try to walk in them.”
Hannah rolls her eyes. “I’ll teach you how to walk, run, and kneel in heels. Heck, I’ll even show you how to clean toilets and mop the floors in heels. You’ll be living in them by the time I’m done with you.”
I shake my head. “I doubt that. I’m more of a flats kind of girl.”
“We’ll see,” she says cryptically.
A few minutes later, I’m admiring myself in the black dress. It’s really gorgeous. It’s fitted around the bodice and is cut in a way that somehow makes it look like I have cleavage to spare. The hem hits me just above the knee. Hannah hands me the silver heels. I don’t bother arguing as I put them on.
It looks like my legs go on for miles. I no longer feel short and frumpy. In this dress, I look like a vixen. It clings to my body like a second skin. All of my new clothes fit perfectly, but this dress gives me curves I didn’t even know I had. Even I can admit, I look hot.
Except…
“Hannah, I don’t know about this…” I turn so I can see the low-cut back of the dress. The back is completely open all the way down to just above my butt.
“What’s not to know? You’re a fucking knockout in that dress!”
“But my back…” I can’t seem to pull my eyes away from the angry red lines that crisscross my pale skin. This is the first time I’ve seen the marks. Obviously, I could feel how bad they were, but seeing them for the first time was shocking.
“Don’t be silly. You look amazing. Matthew will swallow his own tongue when he sees you in this dress. Besides, you’re eating at his restaurant, which is attached to Black Rose. A few lash marks won’t be the strangest thing on display, I’m sure.”
I chew on my lip as I consider her words. “If you’re sure.”
Hannah gets that Cheshire Cat grin again, the one that says she knows she’s won. “I’m positive.”
I change out of the dress and dutifully hand it to Slade, who doesn’t bat an eye at the nine-hundred-dollar price tag. It makes me nauseous to think about the ridiculous amount of Matthew’s money I’ve spent today. I try not to dwell on it as we finally make our way to the food court. My stomach growls hungrily at the delicious scents.
Slade buys our soft pretzels and frozen strawberry lemonades, then leads us to the big fountain in the middle of the court. He leads us to a giant fountain in the middle of the court. Hannah sits down on the ledge and pats the spot beside her.
“I need to make a call. I’m going to stand just there,” Slade says, pointing a few feet away on the other side of the fountain. “You girls stay right here where I can see you.”
Hannah gives him a salute. “Sir, yes, sir!”
“One of these days that sassy mouth is going to get you into trouble,” Slade says threateningly before walking away.
“If only,” Hannah says with a dreamy sigh.
“One of these days, you’re going to push him too far,” I warn.
She turns to me with a huge smile. “That’s sort of the idea.”
I give her an incredulous look.
Hannah laughs. “Don’t look so shocked. I’ve been trying to get his attention for years.” She looks longingly toward Slade. “He just refuses to see what’s right in front of his eyes.”
Her words are so full of pain; they cause my own heart to break a little. I put a hand on her leg, wishing I knew what to say. I don’t understand their relationship enough to offer any advice, not that I have the slightest clue how relationships are supposed to work.
She smiles and pushes her obvious pain aside and takes a big bite of her pretzel. I follow suit and moan at the salty-bready goodness. “Good, right?” Hannah mumbles around her bite. I nod, chewing. So damn good.
We chat while we eat, and I’m hit in the chest at how utterly surreal this moment is. I’ve never had this. Even after I escaped from Red House, a day like today was unimaginable, and I’m not talking about the shopping spree. Sitting here with someone who I can see myself becoming good friends with, laughing and eating… How is this even my life?
I’m yanked back to reality when a high-pitched voice screeches, “Tessa!”
I look around, expecting to see someone else to respond to the name given to me when I was first brought to Red House. No one here knows me by that name. I left that name behind. There’s no way anyone would call me by that, but fear still grips me with its deadly claws.
“Tessa!” the voice calls out again, and this time, I look up and see the last person I would ever expect to see. Christi rushes my way excitedly in her high-heeled shoes. My eyes dart around the food court, studying every face, looking for him.
Christi stops right in front of Hannah and me. Acting like she’s a long-lost friend, she pulls me into a hug. “It’s so good to see you,” she says loud enough for Hannah to hear.
Hannah looks at me curiously, but I don’t know what to think of the situation. Did Christi run away too? What are the chances that she would be here if she did run away? We were never friends. In fact, she was Mr. Perfect’s favorite. I can’t see him letting her go. Hell, I can’t imagine her running away. She seemed to love her life at Red House.
Christi holds me tighter when I try to move away. “He’s been looking everywhere for you. He’s going to be so pleased with me for finding you,” she says just for my ears, her words dripping venom.
She finally pulls away and starts tapping on her cell phone. “What are the odds that I would be here shopping at the same time as you?” Christi says innocently. “Such a small world.” She smiles brightly at Hannah.
Without thinking, I grab the phone from her hands and throw it in the fountain. The ground is shaking under my feet as I stand, pulling Hannah up with me. She doesn’t fight me. In fact, she positions herself between Christi and me.
“Who the fuck are you?” Sweet, soft-spoken Hannah is gone. This Hannah is a freaking badass who actually makes Christi take a step backward and pause. It doesn’t knock Christi off her game for long.
“Yeah, Princess Tessa, who the fuck am I?” Christi snarls, glaring over Hannah’s shoulder at me with enough malice to melt the paint right off the walls. “Shouldn’t have touched my phone, bitch. Daddy’s just parkin’ the car, he’s going to be pissed you wrecked my phone.” Her lips twist up in an ugly smile. “Can’t wait for the family reunion. We’ve sure missed you at the house.”
The world around me is narrows until it feels like I’m in a tunnel. My breaths are coming in ragged pants, and I’m clinging to Hannah’s hand like she’s the only thing keeping me grounded to the here and now. Honestly, she very well may be.
Christi throws her head back and laughs. “You’re so fuckin’ pathetic. Your little issues aren’t gonna keep you safe this time. No more special treatment for you after your little disappearing act.”
My entire world shifts, and every hope and dream I have allowed myself these past months is shattering down around me. I know right here and now that I will never truly be free. Hundreds of miles away, and they still managed to find me. Fate is a fickle bitch, and it seems I’ll never quit paying for however I wronged her.
Slade pushes between Hannah and Christi, completely blocking my view. He’s a brick wall between her and us. Despite her being five foot seven and skinny as a rail, Slade is putting off vibes like he’s come up against a vicious predator. He’s not entirely wrong. Christi has tormented me from day one at Red House. She took special joy in seeing me broken and battered after a client left. She would tell me how my screams echoing through the walls were like a lullaby to her.
“Who the fuck are you?” Slade asks in what I would call a scary-calm voice. His tone doesn’t match the aggression that is pouring off him in waves. He’s like a dog who isn’t growling or barking, but its fur is standing on end, and you just know if you got close enough, it would snap at you. Slade is ready to snap.
My eyes dart around the food court, wondering if Christi was telling the truth about him being here. She’s just mean enough to lie, but the sick pit in my gut tells me he’s close. Christi says something to Slade that I can’t make out because he just walked in. He looks exactly the same. Dark suit, perfectly polished shoes—absently, I wonder who is polishing those shoes now that I’m not there to do it, Christi? No, it’s probably, Lisa—his dark hair, sprinkled with gray is slicked back. If you didn’t know any better, you might say that he’s handsome. But one look in his cold, dead eyes tells you that he’s got a heart of stone and a pitch-black soul.
He scans the food court looking for Christi. His eyes skate right past me, and his gaze lands just in front of me where I know Christi stands just on the other side of Slade. Nelson Grant, who I still think of as Mr. Perfect, takes in the scene for a moment. Then as if his mind is just catching up with what his eyes saw turns his attention back to me. His lips slowly curl up in what some might call a handsome smile, but I’ve seen that same smile painted on his lips as he beat me with his belt.
Panic wells up inside me, and this time, I’m not frozen. Everything in my entire being is shouting for me to run. I grab Slade’s arm, trying to get his attention. I frantically pull on him until he turns his attention to me. He gives me a questioning look.
“Gotta go. Now. We gotta go…” I don’t stop tugging on him, trying to pull him along. Hannah is still right by my side, holding my arm.
My whole body is quivering from fear. When Slade doesn’t immediately move, I let out a panicked sob. “Please!” I beg.
Christi is cackling like the Wicked Witch of the West, if she just called me her pretty, I could believe for a second this is some crazy nightmare version of Oz and not a mall in the middle of New York City miles and miles away from Red House. I came here because a big city offers autonomy. I should’ve been just another faceless name in the crowd.
Instead of acting, Slade asks me what’s wrong. He seems determined to get answers before taking action. My eyes flick between him and Mr. Perfect, who is slowly making his way through the throng of people. Every step closer, ratchets up my anxiety.
I can’t answer. I’ve lost the power to form words, and my response is some kind of pathetic death moan. It’s Hannah who seems to pick that Christi isn’t the real threat. She follows my line of sight, and I’m not sure what she sees when she looks at Mr. Perfect, but whatever it is makes her act.
“We have to go. Now.” Hannah pulls me away from Slade and starts running. The mall is packed with people, but Hannah doesn’t slow down. She darts between other shoppers and, in one case, knocks into a teenaged boy who falls into a kiosk causing merchandise to go everywhere.
I can hear Slade behind us cursing a blue streak and yelling for us to slow down. We ignore him. We push our way through another group of shoppers, and there is a break in the crowd. Hannah picks up the pace, pulling me as fast as our feet can carry us towards the doors.
Slade is seconds behind us as we burst outside. He’s no longer asking questions. The lights of the SUV flash as Slade unlocks it. He doesn’t stop to open our door for us, he rushes to the driver’s side. Hannah yanks open the door and shoves me into the backseat, then practically crawls on top of me to get in herself. Our door is barely closed when Slade slams the car into gear and speeds away.
I watch out the back window as Mr. Perfect and Christi burst out of the mall. The last thing I see before we turn onto the road is him backhanding Christi so hard that she falls to the ground. I turn in the seat and pull my legs up to my chest and bury my head in my knees.
Oh, God. Please. Please don’t let this be happening,I beg. Please let this all be another bad dream. Just this once. Please.
Hannah slides over to me and pulls me into her arms. She rocks me and tells me everything is going to be okay and that I’m safe. Nothing she says calms the hysteria that’s bubbling up to the surface. I’m not safe. Nowhere is safe. I’ll never be safe again.
Distantly, I hear Slade speaking. I drag myself back way from the edge enough to focus. “We’ve got a situation. Shit went bad at the mall.”
I can hear someone screaming on the other end of the phone. I’m guessing Matthew.
Slade interrupts the tirade. “Look, I’m not even sure what the fuck happened. Some chick approached the girls, and next thing I know, your woman is tossing this chick’s phone in the fountain. Hannah got between them, and when I tried to figure out what was going on, Rose had some kind of panic attack.” Slade is cut off by more screaming… a lot more screaming. Slade ignores the yelling. “Then Hannah grabs Rose and takes off running like they were being chased by hell hounds. My Hannah!” Now it’s Slade who is shouting. “We were followed by the woman, and a man who I suspect is the cause of your girls little freakout. I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but I do not appreciate my—” Slade stops himself from whatever he was about to say, “—Hannah being put at risk. What the fuck is going on?”
My tears come faster now. He’s right. I put Hannah in danger. “I’m sorry.” I say it once and then over and over again like a mantra, the words echo through my lips.
Hannah’s hold on me tightens, and she makes soothing hushing noises. “It’s okay, hon. Not your fault. Breathe, Rose. You’re going to hyperventilate. Breathe.” When gentle doesn’t get through to me, her voice hardens. “Rose, take a deep breath.”
Something in her tone jars me out of my panic, and I take in a shuddering breath. And another.
“Good girl,” Hannah praises.
Soon, I’m breathing normally again, the panic temporarily stuffed back down inside me.
“You good?” Slade asks, his eyes flicking to the rearview mirror so he can look at me.
“I think so,” I murmur.
“Now that you’re calm, you mind telling me what the fuck just happened?”
“Slade!” Hannah scolds. “Can’t you see she’s fucking traumatized.”
“Of all the times for you to decide to stop with the whole ‘Master’ thing you have to pick now? Un-fucking-believable.”
Hannah stiffens, and hurt fills her eyes. I don’t know her well, but I’ve picked up a few things… like she’s madly in love with Slade. Like over-the-moon, completely gone for the man, and despite the fact that he doesn’t return her affection, she’s still loyal to him. She offers her submission no matter how many times he rejects her.
“Slade, please, don’t be mad at Hannah. I don’t want you to fight because of me.”
“We’re not fighting,” Slade growls. “Now, will you please tell me what’s going on?”
Hannah hugs me a little tighter whether to reassure me or herself, I’m not sure.
I chew on the inside of my cheek, debating how much to tell them. I hate the thought that my new friends are going to know I’m just a whore. It’s bad enough that everyone knows I sold myself to Damon for six months… telling them this? They’ll never look at me the same way.
And when Matthew finds out what I am? I choke back a sob just thinking about it. I know exactly how he’ll react. He’ll be disgusted with me. He’ll see exactly how damaged I am, and he won’t want me anymore.
“You can trust us,” Hannah says. “This is a judgment-free zone.”
Pretty to think so. With a defeated sigh, I decide I might as well get it over with. “The woman’s name is Christi, and the man with her is Nelson Grant.”
Slade’s eyes find mine in the mirror, and I can tell something about the name registers with him, but he doesn’t say anything.
“He was my foster father… Matthew’s too.”
This time when Slade meets my eyes in the rearview mirror, I know he’s heard the name Nelson Grant before. I wonder how much he knows. “It’s okay, sweetheart. You can trust us.”
“You know who he is, don’t you?” I ask.
Slade’s eyes grow dark, and I again wonder just how much he knows about Mr. Perfect. “Matthew’s told me some things,” he says evasively.
“To make a long story short, I ran away. I came to New York to disappear. I don’t know why they would even be here. They should be in Chicago…” I trail off. “It doesn’t make any sense. Mr. Perfect never leaves Red House…” I shake myself, trying to speculate why they are here isn’t going to change anything.
What I need to focus on is my next move. I can’t stay here anymore. I’ll never be safe in this city again. Now that they know I’m here, he’ll stop at nothing to get me back. I can’t go back. I’d rather die than go back.
Just the thought of going on the run again fills me with exhaustion. I’m so sick of running. Of always having to look over my shoulder. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. It’s a lonely existence. Never being able to trust anyone, having to be suspicious of everyone and everything. There were nights when I would have to sleep on the street because the shelters were full, always alone and scared. Those nights, for a brief, fleeting moment, I longed for my bed at Red House.
I missed the girls. Well, Cara and Lydia. Some of the girls, like Christi, seemed to enjoy the life we were forced into at Red House. I’ll never understand it. I don’t think I want to understand how a person could come to enjoy being abused. The thought makes me sick.
“What’s Red House?” Hannah asks.
I turn and look into her kind, green eyes. “A whore house for men with particular tastes.”
Her eyes grow wide with understanding, but she doesn’t say anything. Slade’s jaw is so tight I’m surprised his teeth don’t crack. They don’t ask me any more questions after that, thankfully. I try to remember how much cash I have left. I wonder how far it’ll get me. Thankfully, bus tickets can be cheap when you don’t care where you’re going.
I’m so lost in making plans for how I’m going to get out of the city, that I don’t realize we’ve stopped driving. I let out a scream when my door opens unexpectedly. I calm down instantly when Matthew’s worried face comes into view.
“Rosie,” he rasps, then pulls me out of the SUV and straight into his arms. “Are you okay, love?”
“We should go inside to have this little chat, boss,” Slade suggests.
He helps Hannah from the SUV and guides her toward the building. I look up and realize we are at Black Rose. It’s surreal seeing my name on the sign. I didn’t pay attention the night Damon brought me here and when I left with Kisten we went out the employee exit. It wasn’t until Hannah started talking about the club that she realized I didn’t know that it was named after me. I wonder for a moment why Slade brought us here instead of Matthew’s home. Then it hits me, of course Slade brought me here. Matthew is supposed to be working. Instead, he’s worrying over me… again.
We follow behind Slade and Hannah. If Matthew is surprised when Slade leads us to the elevator then to the penthouse above the club, he doesn’t show it. Once we are inside, Matthew leads me to one of the sofas and sits me down. A few seconds later, Hannah hands me a bottle of orange juice.
“It’ll help with the shakes,” she says.
I didn’t even realize I was shaking. Adrenaline will do that to a girl, I guess. I take a few careful sips of the juice. “You okay?” Hannah asks.
I just shake my head because, no, I’m not okay. I don’t think I’ll ever be okay.
“Matthew and Slade won’t let anything happen to you. You’re safe here.” Hannah sounds so damn sure of herself. Sure of Matthew and Slade. I want to believe it. I really do, but hope is the cruel sister to fate, and she likes to kick me when I’m down. And right now, I’m ten feet under and drowning quick.
Slade and Matthew take a seat, and I know it’s almost time for me to tell my story. The whole story. I jump up from the couch and make an excuse about needing the restroom. I retreat to the privacy of the bathroom and do my best to pull myself together. If I’m not going to run—if I’m going to ask these people to help me—the least I can do is tell them exactly what I am and who they are up against.
When I come out of the bathroom a few minutes later, I’m surprised to see Hannah kneeling between Slade’s legs. She has her head resting against his thigh, and he’s stroking her hair. If I didn’t know any better, I would say they are the picture of a perfect, loving couple. Hannah looks so relaxed and peaceful. All the tension and stress seem to have melted away.
I look at Matthew, then back to Slade and Hannah. I don’t analyze it. I don’t think. I just walk over to Matthew and kneel in front of him. He looks like he wants to protest, but when I lay my head against his thigh and wrap my arms around his leg, clinging to him, he settles back into his chair. His fingers sift through my hair, and I let out a cleansing breath.
I know we have a lot to talk about. I know it’s not fair of me to avoid the conversation, but I selfishly just want to bask in Matthew’s love. I want him to take away all my worries and stress. I don’t want to think anymore, and so, I don’t. I turn all of my focus to the soothing feel of Matthew gently massaging my scalp and running his fingers through my hair.
The most wonderful thing happens as I’m kneeling in front of Matthew. For the first time ever, my mind is quiet. There are no ugly voices telling me I’m a whore, no anxiety or stress or worry or fear… There’s nothing. Just peace.