CHAPTER 19 #2
He moved his chair closer, launching into his vision of how things would be from now on, the key he’d already had cut for me, for his house.
I let him talk and talk, agreeing where required, until his version of events was reality, for him at least. The thought of the life he painted for us, of the grey, unforgiving London I’d struggled against for so long, felt unfathomable.
‘Oh, Lots, I’ve missed you,’ he added finally, reaching over to stroke my hair.
Barely repressing a shudder, I gave him a small smile.
‘Let’s take it slowly,’ I said, treading carefully around his ego. ‘I need time to adjust, I think.’
He pouted for a moment, then nodded.
‘So where are the influencers today?’ he asked, leaning back, satisfied that the charm offensive was complete. ‘I can’t believe the money Leo gets paid for this kind of thing,’ he scoffed.
I felt a stab of panic, needing to get us somewhere public, somewhere where he wouldn’t try his luck physically. The thought of having to kiss him, let alone anything else, turned my stomach.
‘Well, they’re heading over to the Cowboy Bar soon, actually. Happy hour and line dancing this afternoon. It’s a Jackson staple. We should go, it’ll be fun.’
He raised his eyebrows, finishing his coffee.
‘Suppose there’s not much else to do round here out of season,’ he said, shrugging. ‘This place is only good for skiing, and even then I prefer Aspen. It’s all a bit rough and ready, isn’t it? Anyway – lead the way.’
We’d been in the bar for barely an hour when the group arrived. Although I was sitting with Kyle, his arm casually lying across the back of my chair as we watched the dancing, seeing Cole enter with Kendra hanging off him was a gut punch.
‘Oh, look!’ Leo called, waving at us from the bar.
Everyone turned, Cole last of all. In one movement, his entire body bristled, standing straighter, arms flexing. Jesse held his arm, whispered something over his shoulder.
We exchanged no words as they came over, Kendra holding on to Cole’s arm as she led him straight into the dancing, Jesse and Ashley following. Bailey, Lil, Alix and Leo were chatting, faces animated as Leo filmed everything.
He waved us over and whilst Kyle stood up, I stayed seated, three strong cocktails having taken effect.
‘Go ahead,’ I said, smiling sweetly. ‘I’m dreadful at this – I’ll watch.’
Smirking, Kyle joined Leo, throwing himself into it.
Immediately I glanced over to Cole, just as he did the same. Our eyes locked, his over Kendra’s head as she moved into him, around him. His gaze was careful, pained. He glanced to Kyle and back to me, confused.
I looked down at my drink, wanting to reassure him but not knowing how without raising Kyle’s suspicions. Gradually, as the afternoon gave way to evening, Kyle and Leo’s antics increasingly took centre stage, other tourists joining in.
As I plotted how to sneak away, calculating that Kyle was gradually becoming too drunk to notice, Jesse sidled over. The top buttons of his shirt were open, his tan glowing with the exertion.
‘Having fun?’ I asked with a smile, trying to mask the strain in my voice.
‘I’m keeping up.’ He returned it, but his expression lacked his usual warmth.
‘Listen, Lottie. You can tell me to back off, I know this isn’t my business, but .
. . this situation with your ex. It’s got Cole all twisted up.
I know you and him have something going on .
. .’ He paused, reaching over to put a hand on my arm as I flinched at his words.
‘And I know it’s big. I don’t want to put my foot in it and speak out of turn, but Cole is totally gone for you.
I just . . . I can’t stand by and watch him get his heart broken, you know? ’
I gritted my teeth, fear and shame curdling in my gut.
‘I . . . I know how things look, but I’m not planning on that, okay? You’re a good friend for risking a conversation about it,’ I said, trying to give him a reassuring smile, but feeling it was more like a grimace. ‘But Kyle is only here for the weekend. That’s it.’
Jesse frowned, but nodded.
‘Does he know that?’ He glanced over at Kyle, mid-conversation with Leo. ‘He sure isn’t touching you like that.’
‘I swear to you, Jesse. I don’t feel anything for Kyle. I’ve just got to keep things on a level this weekend. I can’t risk ruining this whole thing because he ends up having a tantrum and making this whole weekend about our relationship drama. The ranch is on the line, your jobs.’
Tears threatened again as I swallowed hard. Jesse squeezed my arm as I turned to him, his eyes softened.
‘Okay, okay. I get it now. Don’t fret, Princess, we’ve got you. They’re having the time of their lives and we’ll keep it that way, all right? I’ve even promised Ashley a one-on-one private roping lesson, clothes optional.’
‘Jesus,’ I croaked, knocking back the rest of my drink. ‘Tell me you’re joking.’
He just smiled, turning back to the bar.
‘Things sure got a lot more fun since you arrived. You want another drink?’
I shook my head, glancing at Kyle again.
‘I’m gonna head back. Alone.’
Jesse winked, adjusting his hat as he sauntered over to the bar.
‘I’m tired,’ I said to Kyle as I reached him through the mass of bodies on the dancefloor, shrinking away as he grabbed me around the waist. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? We’re having a cookout at the ranch in the evening – come and join us?’
‘Go back to my hotel,’ Kyle said, cheeks flushed. ‘It’s the penthouse. I’ll meet you there.’
‘I’m staying at the ranch,’ I shouted above the music. ‘Let’s take this slowly, okay? We can talk more after everyone’s gone.’
Kyle rolled his eyes, but nodded as he ran his hands over my ass before kissing me, hard.
I pulled back immediately, turning before he could try anything else and stalking off the dancefloor, almost making it to the exit before someone grabbed my hand.
‘Don’t tell me he’s talked himself into your life again,’ Cole growled, barely caged anger rolling off him in waves.
‘I can’t talk now,’ I said, not daring to keep speaking to him, just walking out into the faded light, hearing Kendra’s voice behind me, calling him.
I kept it together on the drive back to the ranch, keeping my thoughts purely practical.
I scrubbed at my face once home, trying to erase Kyle from it, getting straight into my pyjamas and then bed, lining up my headphones to get stuck into an audiobook.
It felt futile, but I needed to escape and knew a book would be the answer, but also knew hearing the voices would stop my attention wandering.
As the narrator began, I shuffled back against the headboard, closing my eyes. It started to work: muscle by muscle I felt myself unclench, the complexities and frustrations easing away until—
A hand touched my shoulder and I jumped, my eyes flying open as I removed my headphones, relaxation swallowed by anxiety.
Cole.
His eyes were wild and he was running his hands through his hair.
‘What? What’s happened?’ I asked, pulling back the covers to move my legs out, the desperation in his eyes scaring the shit out of me.
‘I can’t lose you,’ he whispered, lowering himself to kneel in front of me.
I froze, stunned, as his expression became one of pure pain. Guilt struck hard and I scrambled to make my thoughts into coherent words, to take it away.
‘Cole, I need to—’
He moved closer, pulling me to the edge of the bed so my body was aligned with his.
‘I lied. I said I’d let you make this choice without interfering, but I can’t. I can’t just let you go like this. I’ve never felt like this about anyone, Lottie. Seeing him touch you, kiss you—’
He shook his head, hands clenched, fighting with himself. I wanted to explain, but I knew he wouldn’t hear it right now. So I did the only thing I knew would make him listen.
Crossing my arms, I took off my T-shirt.
Stunned, he looked from my chest to my eyes, his own wide with shock.
‘I’m playing a game, Cole. I’ve given him hope to keep him quiet and stop him fucking up this weekend,’ I said, reaching over and undoing his shirt buttons. ‘But that’s all it is. Because I don’t want to be anywhere without you.’
I held his gaze, confusion still marring his handsome features as I ran a finger over his cheek, the prickle of dark stubble making both of us shudder.
He shrugged his shirt off, letting it fall to the floor.
‘So you’re not . . . together? You’re not leaving?’
I shook my head vehemently as he gripped the side of the bed, bowing his head in relief.
Moving forwards, I lowered myself off the edge of the bed, kneeling in front of him.
Finally, as though waking from a nightmare, his body came alive.
His hands trailed across my breasts, then moved up to my face, my neck.
‘I’m so sorry if I hurt you,’ I whispered, my lips brushing his as he brought his face to mine. ‘I needed to convince him, but nothing happened. I can only think of you, I only want you.’
Then his mouth was on mine, tongue claiming me, hands lifting me onto the bed, removing my shorts.
‘I’ve been picturing you like this since the mountains,’ he said, voice raw as he unzipped himself, barely free of his jeans as he leant over me. ‘I’m yours, Lottie. Any way you want me.’
He started with slow kisses from my neck, slowly working down and down, over my breasts and down, one hand on my hip as his stubble grazed my thigh.
Voices in the hall startled me, and I grabbed at the cover just in case.
He stopped, head above my legs, glancing back at the door. Then, looking back at me, shrugged off his jeans completely and held out his hands to me.
‘Bathroom,’ he whispered, gently pulling me up, kissing me as I reached him, skin on fire as our bodies touched. He half carried me into the bathroom, closing the door behind us and locking it with a reassuring click.
‘Where’s that shower you promised me the other day?’ he asked, eyeing the large waterfall-style shower in the corner.
Smiling, I stepped over and turned it on, leaning against the wall as he entered, frowning as he knelt down again. ‘What are you . . . oh . . .’
His hands moved lower, spreading my legs.
Slowly, as the hot water ran down his shoulders, rivulets gathering in the defined muscle of his back, his tongue traced a line of fire from my hips.
As one hand reached around and gently squeezed my ass, he pulled me closer still, his tongue searching lower and lower until it was in me.
I gasped, unable to keep my eyes open to the feeling he created, leaning my head back against the cool tiles.
As the steam began to build, the noise of the water only just covered my moans until I had to put my fist in my mouth to stop myself from screaming.
‘Not yet, Princess,’ he said, kissing back up my body, then, picking me up gently, one hand on my waist and resting my back against the wall, he guided himself into me as I locked my legs behind him. ‘Yes, honey, use me. I want you to come on me, show me how I’m yours.’
‘Cole,’ I murmured, beginning to lose it as he thrust into me, gripping onto the hard muscle on his back, my fingertips slipping on his wet skin. ‘Don’t ever stop.’
He laughed, his voice husky.
‘I won’t. I can’t. You’re all I ever want, Princess.’
And there, in the water, he held me until the end, until his end. Until the hot water ran cold and he bundled us up in towels, moving back into my room and dragging the huge, solid wood chest of drawers in front of the door in one easy movement.
‘Once isn’t enough for my girl,’ he said, eyes gleaming as I fell back onto the bed, looking over his body with wonder as he walked back to me.
‘I want to lose count,’ I whispered as he got in with me, knowing, loving that another sleepless night lay ahead.