Chapter 5 Bri
FIVE
Bri
The silver lining to walking all day in one giant circle and ending up right back where I started is that at least I have a place to sleep.
The temperature dropped along with the sun.
The sharp change prompted me to go down to the crashed pod.
I took more care this time going downhill.
I don’t have any ankles left to fuck up, but there is no shortage of other body parts I could injure.
I turn the latch to lock the hefty pod door and breathe a heavy sigh.
It was rough there for a minute, sitting on top of the dune, realizing what I had done.
It’s a mystery to me how people walk in circles when they get lost. I still don’t understand how it happened.
Jamie would’ve lectured me. I ought to be better at this—at surviving in the wild.
Today I wasn’t thinking straight and made a rookie mistake.
Tomorrow is a new day. I’ll rest and wake up ready to get myself out of here.
As I settle into the seat with the foil blanket pulled up to my chin, my stomach grumbles loudly. I only ate two nutrigels today. I’m rationing my supplies should things not go to plan. In the dark I rummage around for my bag and take out another, hoping something in my belly will help me sleep.
The blanket crinkles every time I move on the uncomfortable captain’s chair. I’m exhausted, but between the world’s loudest blanket and the sand pelting the pod, sleep doesn’t come. Eventually, I give up on the seat and lie down on the floor, using my survival pack as a pillow.
At least I’m protected from the elements. From the sound of it, if I were sleeping outside, I wouldn’t have any skin left in the morning.
In the darkness of the pod, my mind wanders. I think back to those few weeks on the waystation when I was waiting to return to j’Tilak. When I was forced to evacuate j’Tilak because of the Atorum, I was determined to return as soon as possible.
Elowen had been trying to reach me for weeks, but I was salty she got to stay behind.
Not my finest moment. I avoided her attempts at reaching me.
At first, I told myself that I was just busy getting settled on the station.
After I settled in, I had to admit to myself the truth: I was punishing her for something that wasn’t her fault.
I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve been throwing a fit since being sent off j’Tilak. I’ve had plenty of time to rehearse my apology to clear the air. It certainly won’t be the last time I’ll have to apologize for my behavior.
When Tai showed up bossing me around, something snapped. It hurt when he said he was only following orders. After everything we had been through, he wasn’t there because he wanted to be.
Of course I wanted to go back. But not with him.
Something about him made me rebel at the idea of agreeing to anything he suggested.
We didn’t even have time to finish our argument.
The station’s alarms sounded, and I stood there like an idiot with my mouth hanging open, trying to figure out where the blaring sound was coming from when he dragged me to the lifepods.
I can’t believe he had the nerve to try and get in with me. In retrospect, I should have let him in. It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to be here with Tai. He might have even known how to land this damned thing. We could have gotten a signal out for help.
I must have fallen asleep at some point through the night because a small strip of light cuts through the darkness, perfectly aligned with my eyes.
Everything hurts. My swollen ankles, my throbbing head, the blistering sunburn, and everything in between.
I gently test my cheeks and nose. The light touch shoots pain all over.
Yeah, that’s gonna hurt for a while.
“Not your beautiful face!” Hollis would have teased me about my vanity. There’s nothing wrong with being concerned with the integrity of my skin while exploring a new planet. It’s not an either/or situation.
Today is a good day to discover what else is on this godforsaken sand planet.
Months ago, I was desperate to get out of the muraDome.
The claustrophobic research facility was boring, and all I could think about was getting out and exploring the unknown.
I push the hatch open, and a humorless laugh ripples out of me as sand pours in.
My mom always said to be careful what I wished for.
The pod is more than half buried in the sand now and appears to be slowly sinking. That’s concerning.
“I’ll find help today, and everything will be fine,” I say, hoisting myself up. “This is an adventure. It’s supposed to be a little bit terrifying.” I put some force behind the sentiment to convince myself it’s the truth.
The hike up the dune is worse than yesterday.
I lack the delusional optimism that pushed me up the hill the first time.
Now I know exactly what’s out there, and I’m not excited about facing it.
I weigh my options as I slowly work my way up: go in the same direction as yesterday or take a different way and fight through the sand.
I reach the top of the dune and sit to catch my breath. My instincts tell me to find solid ground. This time I’ll take more care to head in one direction.
My first step proves to be just as clumsy as yesterday. For the second time in two days, I fall all the way down to the bottom.
Face down in the dirt, I try to summon the energy and motivation to move. I’m fucked. I’m so deeply fucked. The pack is damp against my shirt, and I already know more of my supplies were destroyed. I confirm my fear that more of the nutrigels have burst, and there are only three hydropacks left.
“It’s okay. It’s fine. Today is going to be different. I’ll get past the sand and dirt to civilization. Yes, civilization is over the horizon, and everything will be okay.”
I drag myself up, straighten my ponytail, and head forward.