10. Until The Eternities End
Haera
All her blood was rushing to her head, and she closed her eyes and tried to remember how to breathe. All the needy little thoughts that she had been trying to ignore since he had appeared in her room were forcing their way to the surface. She had brought this upon herself – thinking about it day and night, desiring to meet her mate. She’d been anticipating this for so long, even harbouring shameful feelings of jealousy towards Alanis. Now, faced with the reality, she was…she didn’t know what she was feeling.
“Can’t you heal me without touching me?” she asked. Her breaths were coming in embarrassing puffs. “Certainly, you didn’t touch everything you created.”
Theos seemed to find her snappy response immensely amusing. “Everything that has ever been created bears the mark of my touch. I could very easily have elected to create the universe by calling it into being. I didn’t. I wanted to feel the hum of the stars and the sun when I gave them the responsibility to bear my light. I wanted to feel the way the waves washed up on shore so I would know precisely where to mark their limits. I wanted to feel the types of soil run through my fingers, so I could be sure that the mortals could grow whatever foods their hearts desired in them.”
He reached a hand down between their bodies, circling it around her ankle again.
“I could heal you without touching you. But I don’t want to.” Her heart fluttered when his gentle hold on her ankle grew firmer. “I want to touch you.” His eyes never broke gaze with hers. “I need to touch you.” Her throat went dry when his gaze zeroed in on her lips. “I need you to give me permission to touch you, Haera. ”
Her eyes widened. “You know my name.”
“I know your name.” Her tongue darted out to wet her lips and his eyes dropped to them again. “And I want to know how you feel in my hands.” Her heartbeat was loud in her ears. “I want to wash the blood from your hair and heal the scars. Erase his touch from your skin. I want to check your thighs for bruising. I don’t know if his hands bruised your body. I need to fix it if they did.”
She was horrified to find that she wanted him to touch her. But for him to check for bruises, she would need to remove her clothing. She couldn’t do that.
“Please, let me fix it.”
Her eyes closed of their own accord when she felt tears begin to spring up in them. She almost choked when she tried to swallow around the ball of fear in her throat. It was quiet for a long minux.
“You are…afraid to be touched, but not afraid to run away from me, and find yourself lost in the forest in the dead of nigh in the cold.” His statement was low, almost a whisper, like the words hadn’t been meant for her ears.
“The cold is not something I am unused to. ”
She felt his gaze harden, and sensed the tightening of his jaws as clearly as she would have seen it if her eyes had been open. The anger that was flooding through her body now did not belong to her.
“That does not sit well with me.”
He released her ankle, hand coming up to brush gently down her cheek. Her lip trembled between her teeth as she pressed her eyes closed harder. She felt his weight shift over her, felt him lean down so that his chest was over hers, so that his lips were next to her ear. He wasn’t truly touching her, but the closeness of his body, the weight of his presence made her heart soar and sink at the same time. It was an exquisite torture.
“May I be honest with you, little mate of mine?”
A groan shot out of her lips before she could restrain it. The bond shuddered with pleasure immediately at the verbal acknowledgement of their bond that came from his lips. Little mate of mine. Fuck.
Not trusting her lips, she nodded. His lips were next to her ear. She could feel his breath on her neck. Feel his eyes burning down the curve of her throat. Feel his chest hovering just above hers.
“I’m struggling not to override your resistance, Haera. ”
Why was her body responding the way it was to his confession that he was not only capable of overriding her boundaries but struggling not to. Why did that make desire coil in her stomach the way it was doing?
“I want you to want me to touch you.”
Her confession slipped past her lips before she could stop it. “I do.”
He hummed deep in his throat, a satisfied growl of pleasure. “Then that’s all I need.”
His presence pulled back, and then his hands were at her waist, gripping so tightly that her toes curled. Raking up her sides in one fluid movement, his thumbs displaced her top to take its place against her skin. They pressed gently into her sides, and she thought she heard a sharp intake of breath from him when their bodies made contact – thought she felt a shudder move through him. She couldn’t bear to open her eyes.
“Am I hurting you?” came his hesitant question. “You are so much smaller than I am.”
Her eyes snapped open. “Do you not like my size?” she asked quietly.
As soon as she said the words, she wanted to kick herself. She couldn’t seem to get a grip on her mouth. The sorrow in her voice was pitiful. That thought hadn’t been meant for him – it should have stayed swirling in her mind where it belonged. She hated feeling needy – hated being needy. Needs were off-limits. The only thing she needed was to remain unattached from everything. It was the only way she could be safe. But now, here she was, with his hands circling her waist, his thumbs rubbing small light circles that sent electrifying chills through her body. Here she was, needing to hear him say he liked her size.
“I do.” Now his voice was husky; rough with restraint. “I love it.”
She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, nodding. She didn’t trust her own mouth anymore. She couldn’t. It wanted to betray her. It wanted to ask him how he felt about the rest of her. She closed her eyes again when he spoke next.
“I love your hair. It’s a perfect replica of mine. And your eyes, Gods , your eyes.”
Euphoria soared in her blood.
“I love your lips, and your hips, and the colour of your skin. Your lashes. The curve of the arches in your feet. Everything. I love everything about you. All of it is perfect. All of you is perfect, Haera.”
She swallowed her pathetic tears .
“Do you understand?” Theos’ grip on her waist tightened. “I need to hear you say you understand me.” He rasped.
“I understand.” She whispered.
“ Good .” Shame bloomed in her heart at how much she liked his praise. “I need to undress you to check for bruises, little star.”
Her senses reeled from the whiplash of fear that surged through her.
“You look…frightened,” Theos commented.
Haera raised her eyes to the ceiling, away from his eyes to safer territory.
“Look at me.”
She didn’t. She kept staring at the ceiling with all her might. Theos chuckled, and goosebumps flooded across her skin at the deep, silky sound. Fates’ sakes . Why was everything about him so painfully attractive? Why was everything about her so completely used and broken? Suddenly, he was over her, blocking her view of the ceiling with his handsome face. Her stomach churned.
“Little mate of mine, what’s on your mind?”
Her toes curled. Fuck .
“That’s not fair.” She whined.
“You like that?” He whispered.
She nodded reluctantly, and he hummed in response, his thumbs still drawing distracting patterns on her belly.
“Then I’ll not use it right now.” He must have read the confusion in her expression, because he continued. “I want to hear your thoughts, unhindered. If using ‘little mate of mine’ feels like I’m affecting your emotions on purpose, then I won’t use it right now,” his gaze wandered over her face. “Though Gods know I want to,” he murmured. “It’s precisely what you are. Little, my mate, and mine .” He growled.
Her thighs were so warm that the heat between them was spreading upwards through her body and into her belly. Her cunt was throbbing . She breathed deep, trying to will her body into calmness.
“Haera,” he pressed. “I need to undress you to check for bruises. I don’t want that creature’s mark on you for a moment longer. If you need to have anyone’s mark on you, it’ll be mine.”
A rush of indignation flooded through her immediately, and the atmosphere in the room darkened in response. The spines of the books on her shelves seemed to come alive like some type of dark energy was laced within their bound pages. One of her father’s necklaces that she kept hanging by the looking glass near her journals swung back and forth. There was no wind in the room. The teddy bear beside it, given to her by her father, began to seem angrier, drained of his maroon colouring.
“The resistance pouring into my heart through our bond tells me you are unhappy at my implication that my mark is the one you should bear.” The hint of darkness in her mate’s voice explained the sudden change in the world around them. God. He was a god . Staring into his eyes, his skin touching hers, it was deludedly easy to forget his power – easy to forget who he was.
She opened her mouth to speak, but thought better of it and closed it again.
His eyes darkened. “Go on,” he prompted. “Tell me how I have no right to mark my mate.” His hold on her waist lowered, closer to the waistband of her pants, rubbing circles there instead. “If you mean it, say it.” One of his hands slid higher, disappearing under her shirt and sliding underneath her to cradle her, raising her upwards. “Tell me I have no right to touch you, and I’ll stop.”
Despite her stubborn resistance to what he was saying, the bond surged with despair. She kept her lips clamped shut.
“Silence is not an acceptable form of consent.” His hands retreated, and her heart lurched with regret. “No!” she cried out, her hands flying up to clutch at his forearms. His skin was silk, the hard muscles beneath shifting as he stopped moving.
“No what, little star?”
She whined in frustration. “Don’t stop touching me.”
“But do you want me to touch you? Those aren’t the same things.”
“Yes!” she gave in. “Yes, I want you to touch me.”He hummed again, sliding his hands back into the positions they had been in.
“Is that all you want?”
Exhaustion settled into her muscles, weighing them down. Giving into the prodding of the bond inside her chest, she pushed herself into sitting position.
───
Theos
Theos’ attention moved over her face, noticing the way her eyes grew heavier by the passing segunds. She was exhausted, and understandably so. Though he was desperate to heal her before she crashed again, it was far more important that she was comfortable with what was happening to her body.
“Tell me what you want, little star, and I will give it to you.”
He watched her deliberate, no doubt going back and forth between what she truly wanted and whatever was keeping her from asking for it. Wordlessly, she leaned forward, reaching her hands up to circle around his neck. He couldn’t help the groan that her touch dragged out of him, or the way his body flamed alive at her willing touch.
“Hold me,” she whispered, and then she was gone.
Reveling in the full weight of her as she settled onto him, he locked her in place against his chest. Her words echoed in his mind over and over again, her first show of true vulnerability. The needy, breathless intake of air before she forced herself to say the words. “Hold me.”
“Until the eternities end.” He replied.