Chapter 10
ANASTASIA
My head is pounding. Note to self, don’t try to outdrink a Russian, you will lose. I rub my hands over my eyes, mascara flaking off, the taste of vodka still at the back of my throat. Gross.
Something is reverberating through my room. No—someone. Knocking loudly. The kind that demanded a triple shot of espresso. “Oh for the love of everything that is holy, stop. Knocking. I’m. Coming.”
“Stassi! Open the door already, get up!” Too awake. Too loud. “We know you’re in there, dying!”
Ro.
“Go away,” I groan. My mouth feeling dry. I roll over checking the time on my phone. 10 AM. There’s an unopened text from a number I definitely did not save.
Your Man
I left Tylenol at you desk. Take it.
Take your other meds too. I left them out for you.
Knock, knock, knock.
Can a girl not sleep in on her day off? How was she even up at this ungodly hour?
Ten seems late, I know, but when you spent your night taking back shot after shot as if you hadn’t had any water in days, you’d want to crawl into a dark cave and not come out too.
One thing was for sure, I definitely am not a morning person.
Then a second voice comes through, raspier, equally annoying at this hour. “Stass.. Come on you want the best gloomy day hangover remedy or what?”
Shina.
I force myself out of bed, dragging my feet on the floor as I head towards the door to let them in.
Every step is another reminder that I need to really pace myself next time.
I crack the door open revealing a cheery Ro and an amused looking Shina.
Like she can read every dirty thought from last night.
“You do know it’s illegal to be vertical at this hour, right?” I mutter.
I’m still wearing Eryx’s T-shirt. The one he pulled over my head last night, soft and worn, hanging low enough to cover what it needs to.
His scent lingering on the collar and it oddly brings me some comfort.
My hair spills over one shoulder, tangled.
There’s mascara smeared beneath my eyes. I look like death, and I feel worse.
Ro’s dressed in fitted jeans tucked into black rain boots, her favorite color, and topped with an oversized, fluffy sweater that looks as cozy as a cloud. Shina, on the other hand, is wrapped in soft gray sweats and a faded hoodie, the kind you save for your favorite lazy days.
“You look like you got ran over. Did you really think you could challenge those two to a drink off and win?” Ro laughs at me.
“Hey, first of, rude, even though I feel like I got ran over, and second of all, I held up for a good while,” I muse. “Give me a little credit.” We all laugh as I open the door wider letting them both come into the small space. I take a seat back on my bed, one leg tucked underneath me.
Me
Who is this and how did you get my number?
And I’m not taking any weird drugs from you
“Aren’t you glad you went though? Sounds like you both had fun,” Ro says as she rummages through my closet.
“Honestly? Yeah, thanks for pushing me to go, I actually really needed that. This one though,” I point at Shina, “left me alone with Eryx.”
She brings both hands up in innocence, “Hey now, you’re a big girl I don’t think you need me to hold your hand, plus… I seen the way you were looking at Eryx. And the way he was looking at you. You both wanted to devour each other. I wanted to dance,” she smiles, “and Caine’s a great dancer.”
Your Man
Take the medicine Nastasya.
I’m arguing with him over this, but stubborn as I am, I listen and do as he says. I recognize the pill and it is indeed Tylenol, plus if I don’t take my addy I’ll be a complete mess.
“I’m sure if I ever got a bite, all I’d taste is bad decisions. You said it yourself, Ro, I should stay away from him.”
“I don’t know, sometimes bad decisions is the best flavor.” She smirks and looks to the side, cheeks flushed.
Mhmm we’re all fucked.
She pulls out a pair of my leggings and an old sweatshirt, soft and oversized–Thoren’s–and hands it to me with a grin. “This one’s got ‘I got super drunk and can nap all day’ energy,” she says, “now shut up and follow me to salvation. I’m about to cure that head throb of yours.”
I tense up and go over to the closet stuffing the sweatshirt back into my bag. “Sorry, no, not that one.” Then I grab a hoodie with the schools logo on it. They’re both quiet but they don’t question me. Then Shina breaks the silence.
“You need soup,” Shina says, “emergency soup.”
“Soup?” I blink. “It’s, like, barely morning.”
“Pho,” Ro says, “Vietnamese soup, life-giving broth. You ever have it?”
I shake my head.
“Well, theres a first time for everything, let’s go.”
I get dressed, drag a face wipe across my skin, and throw my hair into a messy bun. I’ll deal with the tangles later.
Ten minutes later, I'm sandwiched between them, shuffling out of Ro’s car and into the restaurant.
The sky above looking gray and vaguely threatening.
Light drizzle clings to everything. It’s been drizzling all day, and while gloomy, rainy weather has always been my favorite, I can’t help but feel the weight of it.
I thrive in my sad emotions, probably why I should still be seeing Fleur.
I don’t think it’s normal to find comfort in depression, but even with my dark mind and the weather I love, all I want right now is something that feels like comfort
Ro and Shina brought me for some…they said it was called Fuh, Foe?
“Pho,” Ro says. Reading my mind as I’m looking over the menu. “I’ll order for you since its your first time, trust me, you’ll want this all the time after you try it.”
The waiter comes to our table and Ro gives them our order, “Three Pho Tai’s, green onion and cilantro on the side, please.”
Oh I’m glad she made that remark, I’ve never been a fan of green onions or cilantro.
“Fun fact, but did you know that green onions come from the top sprouts of regular onions?”
“Umm, ok Ms. Encyclopedia, any other fun facts you want to tell us?” We all laugh.
The windows are fogged up, and we’re all a little damp from the rain.
We didn’t have to wait long before our bowls were being dropped off in front of us. The delicious scent of bone broth, and herbs from the bowl hit me like a weighted blanket. I could feel some tension already leaving my body.
Ro passes two bottles my way. “Okay, put a little Sriracha in, and a bit of Hoisin sauce.”
I freeze, a puzzled look on my face. “Wait. Poison sauce?”
Ro and Shina stare at me, then burst out laughing almost knocking over their water.
“Not poison, psycho! Hoisin, like sweet soy sauce with a college degree.”
“Well, I don't know, maybe you wanted to delete me or something. Just making sure we weren’t doing a whole murder-soup thing.”
Ro wipes tears from her eyes. “You are never living that one down.”
I take the small spoon that it came with and take sip of the steamy broth. It’s like I died and went to soup heaven. “Oh my Gods, where has this been all my life?” I instantly feel better.
“Told you,” Ro says.
Shina nods, “yup, soup sorcery.”
We sit in silence enjoying this soupy goodness. I never want this bowl to end.
Back in the car, Ro’s voice hums quietly with the song on the radio, fingers drumming the steering wheel in a calm, steady rhythm. Outside, the pavement shimmers from the afternoon rain, slick and silver in the fading light. I lean my forehead against the window, the coolness grounding me.
Shina twists around in the passenger seat, her hair falling over her shoulder. “You’ve been quiet. Too much poison sauce?”
I smirked faintly. “No, just thinking.”
“Dangerous,” Ro says, teasing.
“You gonna tell us what’s going on in that haunted little head of yours?” Shina asks, watching me carefully.
I hesitate, eyes tracking the passing street signs. My fingers toy with the cuff of my sleeve, picking at a loose thread. “Can I ask you something kind of messed up?”
“Always,” Ro says.
I glance between them. “Do you think... people like our parents are capable of hurting each other?”
Shina’s brows furrow. “You mean like... fighting?”
“No, like... really hurting each other, betrayal, revenge, covering things up. Doing things they’d never want us to know about.” The silence that follows is longer than I expected. Ro glances at me in the rearview mirror, her expression more serious now.
“Why are you asking?” Shina asks softly.
I look out the window. “Because I’ve been trying to believe something for years that just doesn’t make sense anymore.
And the more I remember, the more the cracks start to show.
It’s like I was told this story, this polished, edited version of what happened, and now I’m starting to realize it might have been a lie. ”
Ro’s voice is low. “This about your mom?”
I nod. “My mom died when I was fifteen,” I say slowly. “She was in a car with my—” I paused, the word like glass in my mouth.
“With Thoren’s dad—”
“Thoren’s the guy you grew up with right?” Ro asks.
“Yeah, his dad and my mom were... involved. I’ve never known for sure, but I’ve always seen the way they looked at each other.
The passing glares, when they thought no-one was looking.
” I pause for a moment, “Sergio had asked him to pick her up that day. Said he was running late. It was raining, a lot more than today and they hydroplaned. The car flipped and they both died at the scene. Everyone said it was a tragic accident.”
Shina turns back toward the front seat, quiet.
“But what if it wasn’t?” I say. “What if it was more than that?”
That makes Ro glance at me in the rearview mirror again. Her gaze lingers a beat longer than usual. Ro and Shina are silent.
“For years, I believed it was just a tragic accident. Bad weather, bad timing, one of those awful things no one can control.” My throat tightens. “But I don’t think I believe that anymore.”
“What changed?” Asks Shina.
I look back out the window. The world beyond the glass is blurred, but the pressure in my chest stays sharp.
“A few weeks before I tried to run away… I was manic. I don’t even remember half of what I did.
But I remember rummaging through Sergio’s office.
I was trying to find something of my mothers, anything I could take of hers.
Sergio had gotten rid of anything that reminded him of her and I was missing her so much.
I was in his study, spiraling, digging. And I found a file on his computer. A report, about the crash.”
Ro sits up straighter.
“I didn’t read all of it. Just enough to feel sick. I was paranoid, so I copied it onto a USB. I hid it away, knowing I would need to look deeper into it later. Then everything happened. The accident, the hospital, and I guess for a while it slipped my mind.”
“Do you still have it?” Ro asks, her voice low.
I nod. “When they locked me up, Sergio had them box up all my things and dumped them in storage. When I left to come here, I had my driver pick up the boxes. I found the USB hidden right where I left it three years ago. Inside a balled up pair of socks. It was like opening a door I forgot existed.”
Shina turns to face me again, brows furrowed. “What exactly did the report say?”
“I don’t know everything yet. I couldn’t bring myself to finish it. But what I saw it mentioned something about the brakes. That they were cut. That the investigation was shut down... privately.”
Ro lets out a long, slow breath. “Holy shit.”
“I need to know what really happened. I need to know if he—” I swallow. “If Sergio had something to do with it.”
Shina doesn’t flinch. “Do you have it with you?”
“In my room, I didn’t know if I could trust anyone.” I meet her eyes. “But I think I can trust you.”
Ro gives me a look. “Damn right, you can.”
I smile. A small, but real one. “That’s why I’m telling you now.”
Shina nods once. “Okay. Show me when we get back. I’ll go through everything.”
The air shifts in the car then. Not heavier exactly, but charged. Like the moments before a storm. Something was coming. And for once, I don’t feel completely alone.
Ten more minutes pass before we’re rolling into the garage and are back in my room.
I close and lock the door behind us and go for my bag.
I pull out the USB hiding in my socks, taking a moment to compose myself before turning back to Shina and Ro.
I face them, gripping the small device like it’s something alive.
“Here,” I say handing it to Shina. “Anything you can find out, please let me know. I don’t care how ugly the truth is, I’m done hiding and pretending this never happened. I have to know.”
“Even if the truth hurts? What if you don’t like what I find?” she asks me.
“Even if it hurts and completely shatters me. I need to know, I can’t hide from this anymore.”
“Then okay, leave it to me, I’ll text you once I find something so we can meet up and go over everything.”
And then they both walk out, leaving me there with my thoughts.
I lay down and try not to let the negative thoughts over take me.
I go to my nightstand and take out two white rectangles and wash it down with water.
Then I lay down and tuck my nose under the collar of his shirt.
It still smells like him even with all the rain.