Chapter 36
ERYX
“Irina dinners ready!” I yell through her open door, but there’s no response.
I heard the bath water running earlier so she’s probably still in there, ignoring my calls for her.
We had a fight earlier and she’s probably still mad at me.
She was upset we were going to have to stay with dad’s friend Ivan and his family while our parents went to see grandma in Greece.
She was sick and we couldn’t go with them.
She started throwing a fit about how she didn’t want to go and wanted to go with mom.
I told her she was being a brat and to grow up.
She yelled at me about how I don’t listen or pay attention.
I’m surprised when I enter her room, because the space that’s usually messy with clothes scattered on the floor and bed always unmade, is cleaned and organized.
It’s so unlike her. She must do the thing mom does when she gets anxious and stressed cleaned her room.
The bathroom door is closed but I see a sliver of light peeking through the crack at the bottom.
I knock on her door, “Hurry up moms going to be mad if we aren’t all at the table.
” Still no response. I go to turn the knob but it’s locked, “Ugh Irina come on!” I pull a quarter from my pocket, I keep one there always for this reason, I slip in between the doorknob and twist, unlocking the door and step inside covering my eyes so I don’t see her.
I only take a few steps when I feel the water at my feet, that feeling of stepping on a puddle.
I open my eyes and that’s when I see it, the red tinge the water on the white tile has.
When I look in the tub I see her. Unmoving, the water turned a bright red.
I’ll never forget that image. The tears on her face, the look of defeat.
“Eryx,” shake, shake, shake.
A voice calls out to me in the distance.
“Eryx, wake up!” shake, shake, shake.
The voice calls out to me again, sounding like an angel.
“Hey, come back to me,” shake, shake, shake.
I stir awake, and Stassi is in my face. That wrinkle between her eyes I love so much is present. She’s frowning, but it’s looks more like a face of concern than disgust. I’m looking at her through blurry eyes.
“Hey, you’re ok,” She coos. Her hand caressing my face, her thumb swiping under my eye.
I bring my hand to my face and feel the wetness. Was I crying in my sleep?
“You’re okay, I’ve got you.” She holds me to her. My head to her chest. She’s warm and I wrap my body around her, taking in her comforting scent. Woodsy vanilla, reminding me of my mom’s desserts. She feels like home.
“What was the dream about?” She asks with genuine interest. Here in the darkness of the room, I feel like anything is possible. Like I can let her into the darkness of my mind and know she won’t runaway from it.
“My sister. The night I found her.” I sit up, facing away from her. The guilt eating me alive right now. I should have been there for her sooner. I should have listened to her when she was trying to talk to me. I should have. I should have. I should have.
She gets up from the bed and kneels in front of me, taking my head in her hands to look me in the eyes.
“You don’t get to hide from me either,” she wipes more tears that have fallen. “It’s not your fault. Whatever you’re telling yourself inside your head right now? It’s. Not. Your. Fault.”
I bury my face in her neck, and she wraps her arms around me holding on tighter.
“I’ve got you, it’s ok to be vulnerable. It’s okay to let yourself feel. You don’t have to always be strong, you can be soft too. And if you need strength, then take some of mine. I’ll be strong for the both of us.”
I think, no, I know. I’m utterly in love with Anastasia Díaz. And that terrifies me.
It’s not a question of if but when she finds out what I’ve done. What I’m responsible for. I’ll lose her forever.